Dear X

I had to edit my post from hating the single life to perplexed Litster. I truly don't hate the single life since I am happier single than I was married. I am just frustrated that I am NOT even putting myself out there at this time in my life and already attracting married men who seem to have forgotten they are married or men who do not recognize boundaries. It makes me terrified for if/when I ever do really put myself out there. If women didn't scare me even more I'd consider going that route...but we are crazy too.

Note to self...buy stock in batteries or invest in something rechargeable. ;)

Oh yeah women are fucking crazy. My heart has been beaten senseless this past year. But yeah, better that then stay with the wrong person, right?

Thinking about a Fleshlight...hmmmm ;)
 
Dear Ryan Gosling Wannabe:

Don't think that your attempt to make me think you are being a friend when all you want is some cyber sex is gonna work on this girl. I may be crazy, but I'm not an idiot.

Signed,

You Don't Get Any of Me
 
Oh yeah women are fucking crazy. My heart has been beaten senseless this past year. But yeah, better that then stay with the wrong person, right?

Thinking about a Fleshlight...hmmmm ;)

I am afraid to Google a fleshlight.......
 
Dear Life,

I really need something new and good to happen - a new job would be a great start. Between work and personal, you're completely wearing me down. I'm exhausted from the weight of everyone else's problems and fuckups. I would at least like some appreciation.

Give a girl a break...please?

Signed,

Sick and tired.
 
Dear 5 lbs that have reappeared,

Go away.... I promise, you will be much happier elsewhere.

Signed,
And I don't wanna see your cousins coming around at Christmastime!
 
Dear 5 lbs that have reappeared,

Go away.... I promise, you will be much happier elsewhere.

Signed,
And I don't wanna see your cousins coming around at Christmastime!

Dear lb. chaser,

It was all that baba ghanoush, wasn't it? :rolleyes:

In the same boat
 
Dear X,


Don't think he won't find out about you spreading your legs for anyone who will have you.


Keep being classy,

Signed someone who think you're nothing about a skank
 
Dear Wall Street,

I just might take you up on that offer.

Damn you look good in that suit!


Signed,

Will probably need a few ibuprofens before and after lol.
 
Dear lb. chaser,

It was all that baba ghanoush, wasn't it? :rolleyes:

In the same boat
Dear Co-Passenger,

Probably more like the Mexican every day for lunch. :rolleyes:

I have a co-worker who eats nothing else... okay well she will eat pizza too... double :rolleyes:

Not her fault, I need to make better choices. :/

Signed,
Going on the holiday weight challenge on Monday Litster
 
Dear hypnotist,

Holy smokes. But I think it's wearing off already.... Is that normal?

Signed,

Basket case
 
Dear Federal Government,

Thanks for the letter that so casually explains that you accidentally misplaced my identity, including my fingerprints and DNA. Does that mean you'll issue me new ones?

Sincerely,

No longer anonymous.
 
Dear "Friends",

For the love of God please stop trying to fix me up. Every time one of you sends me a name, of course I check them out on FB. I am quite sure you all mean well, but really???? I know I am not a prize with my unemployment status at the moment and my advanced age of *gasp* 40, but I think I am better off on my own. I mean did anyone even stop to ask if I WANTED to date anyone? Why must I be paired off?? You think I don't get enough from my parents who are hoping I squeeze out one more grandchild with the next "husband"? I just started getting healthy again! Now I need to find a job. I'm happier focusing on my little guy than finding a "big guy" to replace my ex.


Signed,
Happy as I am Divorcee

P.S. And please quit telling me how much money they make - it won't help me overlook them posing with a deer head or their crazy random posts.
 
Dear Santa,

I sent my list already. I will expect 6'7" of yummy under (okay maybe not UNDER) my tree on Christmas morning for me to "unwrap".

Don't disappoint me, Santa.

Signed,
Yes, Candy there is a Santa Claus.
 
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