Dear X

[smallgirl]

dear x

do you HAVE to stop what you are doing and watch me everytime i step outside...jeez taking out the trash is just not sexy dude....look at your wife instead! you give me the creeps!!!

your neighbor

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

That's the idea, he will probably take another route, and if he is spying on you reporting him will hopefully nip it in the bud

I'll have to seriously consider it, that or send the spouse out to "casual" talk to him.

 

[IrishSprite]

Dear X

yes I am anxiously awaiting and yes I have been behaving myself

signed

Me

 

[taborgirl]

Dear Person I Could Very Well be Fucking this Weekend,

Two pairs of nipple clamps, my vibrator, a butt plug, and of course lube. They're all packed and ready to go. Huh, I didn't think this through very well. Those I should probably pack last thing Saturday morning when I leave. Oh,and you should know that my hair is fucking scary in the morning. I'm just warning you.

Signed,
Me

 

[kendra1980]

Dear X,

From everyone here....even those that don't know it.

THANK YOU

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Woman from Mars,

You know, I really have a hard time keeping up. I know, I'm not always easy either, but at least I usually explain myself. OK, fine, maybe sometimes too much.

But, one night it's great and the next morning it's like you don't even want me around. Or maybe it's not me. Sometimes you say you're not attracted to me, and others you say you are. Sometimes you act like I'm wonderful, and then you ignore me, or worse, act like I'm a burden.

All the books say "men can't communicate feelings" and "Women communicate too many" and we are totally the opposite. It leaves me confused and hurt all too often.

Signed,
Man from Venus.

 

[fathom7]

Dear Landlord:


"Please don't take a slice of my soul" ~ Bob Dylan

Sincerely,

Prospective Tenant

 

[call_me_Melody]

Dear Universe...
Please cooperate for me today.

Thank you.
Me

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

Dear X,
I miss you.
rain soaked me

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Karma,

Any chance you can bite a few people on the arse fairly soon?

I could do with a giggle.

Love,

Me
x

 

[Lost_0ne_1]

Dear time and space,

You are way to vast. I need you to be much shorter so I could visit all the wonderful people I meet in this place.

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

Dear X,
Please stop that- I said no- if I say NO it means exactly that. No more emails, no more messages and definitely NO more texts at 4 o'clock in the morning!
You're starting to freak me out...
Time to move on, it's been a year and things have changed.
Or maybe things have changed, I have changed but you didn't?

a tad annoyed Me

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

Dear X,
what did I just say?! wtf.
very pissed off me.

 

[Thomasoir]

Dear X

You asked and I told you. Now what are you going to do?

Me

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Tropicana OJ Company,

One of those caps with a trip for two, would be highly appreciated now.

Loyal customer.

 

[fathom7]

Dear Peet's Coffee:


Oh my god. Thank you for existing. Thank you for deciding to distribute to my local grocery store my favorite coffee in the world. Not that your store is so far away -- it's just that I am a lazy SOB at times and well -- I can get the Starbucks stuff a lot easier. But you came through. You actually put some of that unbelievable stuff in MY grocery store.

You have made my morning. And the mornings to come too. I think I just might make a run to your regular store sometime in the next couple days and stock up. Nothing says addiction like five pounds of coffee beans stored in the freezer. *nods*

Sincerely,

Your Friendly, Neighborhood, Coffee-Addict Bouncer

 

[butters]

X

fuck off and do us all a favour.

first you weasel my home phone number from your aunt with your lies when she was dead against you having it in the first place. now you're trying to stir up rows between me and the kids with you 'i'm giving you a cat' and 'since you're off school ill, i'll take you out for the day' and 'when i pick you up, we'll go pre-order game you want so badly' crap. and now, after getting him to believe you're taking him out today, when you've not seen him for .. what? three quarters of a year or more? .. suddenly you have to go to the hospital with someone?

go die, you waste of fucking space.

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

X

fuck off and do us all a favour.

first you weasel my home phone number from your aunt with your lies when she was dead against you having it in the first place. now you're trying to stir up rows between me and the kids with you 'i'm giving you a cat' and 'since you're off school ill, i'll take you out for the day' and 'when i pick you up, we'll go pre-order game you want so badly' crap. and now, after getting him to believe you're taking him out today, when you've not seen him for .. what? three quarters of a year or more? .. suddenly you have to go to the hospital with someone?

go die, you waste of fucking space.

(((Chippy)))

 

[butters]

(((Chippy)))

hugs back, front, and middle

thanks, i'm fine, just venting.

 

[fathom7]

Dear Literotica Playground:

I have 22 subscribed threads. I have killed 11 of them today. Woo Hoo! Oops -- now make that 12. Sheesh.

 

[glasspenguin]

Dear Literotica Playground:

I have 22 subscribed threads. I have killed 11 of them today. Woo Hoo! Oops -- now make that 12. Sheesh.

Dear Assless Thread Killer,

Have no fear- like a phoenix rising from the ashes the threads shall live again. However, in the case of a person above you thread (would fuck the person about you? what does the avatar above you... etc) when a brave soul has taken "one for the team", responded, and made and effort to continue the fun, please do not immediately post after THEM and kill the thread a second time (not that you do this- in fact I've NEVER seen you do it. It's just an annoyance with certain people that has been grating on me as of late. This seemed like as good a time as any to vent.).

Sincerely,
The air-conditioner-rumped arctic fowl

 

[fathom7]

Dear Assless Thread Killer,

Have no fear- like a phoenix rising from the ashes the threads shall live again. However, in the case of a person above you thread (would fuck the person about you? what does the avatar above you... etc) when a brave soul has taken "one for the team", responded, and made and effort to continue the fun, please do not immediately post after THEM and kill the thread a second time (not that you do this- in fact I've NEVER seen you do it. It's just an annoyance with certain people that has been grating on me as of late. This seemed like as good a time as any to vent.).

Sincerely,
The air-conditioner-rumped arctic fowl

Dear A/C Ass:

No worries my friend. I kill them randomly and never intervene in heavy petting on-line. Hell -- I don't do threesomes at all. Not even here. Yeah -- flat-assed and boring I suppose.

Now -- this one's dead for a time too.

Sincerely,

Knob chin and ironed ass

 

[glasspenguin]

Dear Blue-Texted Bartender/Bouncer,

This one comes and goes constantly- it's not a very "happening" thread, but fun and it serves its purpose.

Secondly, as far as the "petting" threads go, I doubt you'd ever kill one of those. I'm sure there's plenty of ladies here who would enjoying posting what they'd do with your "knob chin and iron ass"...

Sincerely,
The marmalade thighed penguin...

 

[fathom7]

Dear Blue-Texted Bartender/Bouncer,

This one comes and goes constantly- it's not a very "happening" thread, but fun and it serves its purpose.

Secondly, as far as the "petting" threads go, I doubt you'd ever kill one of those. I'm sure there's plenty of ladies here who would enjoying posting what they'd do with your "knob chin and iron ass"...

Sincerely,
The marmalade thighed penguin...

Pengy:

I like the stuff you bring to the party. And no - that's not a RyanBlack comment either. Plus you have a great sense of music -- very great sense. Now just one minor correction oh breakfast-spread thigh guy -- it's IRONED Ass the ED is important. See -- while hard -- it is flat. And -- WAIT WAIT -- this has gotten so pervy not even I can stand it.

Think I'll go pour a few cocktails -- mostly for me.

Your Friendly, Neighborhood, Ironed-Bottom Bouncer

 

[noisymother]

Thank you Karma

Despite a cancelled train and then a delayed one . . .

Things worked out just fine