Dear X

[call_me_Melody]

Dear Parents of the Sleepover Girls.....
Moms and Dads...Parents, Guardians, whatever...
Please read the books you intend to allow your sleepover girls to read first. Approve them and discuss things with said girls before they read the books, encounter things they don't understand and then spend the night with me in charge.
It is not really fun for me to try and explain (although somewhat amusing after the fact) that sex does not necessarily involve broken headboards and waking up covered in feathers.
It's a little hard to know what to say and what to tell them.
Thank you
Melody,
who knows boys don't really sparkle
and would be willing to try for a broken headboard.

 

[Miles Long]

Dear Parents of the Sleepover Girls.....
Moms and Dads...Parents, Guardians, whatever...
Please read the books you intend to allow your sleepover girls to read first. Approve them and discuss things with said girls before they read the books, encounter things they don't understand and then spend the night with me in charge.
It is not really fun for me to try and explain (although somewhat amusing after the fact) that sex does not necessarily involve broken headboards and waking up covered in feathers.
It's a little hard to know what to say and what to tell them.
Thank you
Melody,
who knows boys don't really sparkle
and would be willing to try for a broken headboard.

Dear Melody,

What is the name of this book, and what do you mean sex doesn't involve feathers???

*removes sparkle and looks over at wrought iron headboard*

Hugs and inappropriate hugs,
Miles

 

[vanillaicecream]

Dear drunk and boorish friend sitting here in my living room while I'm trying to perv on Lit. and am clearly not stopping to have a conversation with you,
Get the fuck out of my house!!!!!!!
Love,
Nilla

 

[call_me_Melody]

Dear Melody,

What is the name of this book, and what do you mean sex doesn't involve feathers???

*removes sparkle and looks over at wrought iron headboard*

Hugs and inappropriate hugs,
Miles

Dear Miles...
Twilight... actually one of teh twilight series, I can't keep them all straight.
I just want to say I think life was a lot easier when girls learned about sex from Judy Blume books and didn't want to sleep with vampires.
Or werewolves.
Melody

 

[Miles Long]

Dear Miles...
Twilight... actually one of teh twilight series, I can't keep them all straight.
I just want to say I think life was a lot easier when girls learned about sex from Judy Blume books and didn't want to sleep with vampires.
Or werewolves.
Melody

Not just girls, Melody. Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret got me through junior high.

That's not true, I don't even know what that means.

 

[call_me_Melody]

Not just girls, Melody. Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret got me through junior high.

That's not true, I don't even know what that means.

Actually I learned a LOT about boys from Judy Blume books too. And why they carried math books to the board when they got called on even though the questions were WRITTEN on the board.

 

[flirtygirly]

dear idiotic, aggressive PM'ers

i am not impressed with your nasty un-sexy words. it does not turn me on. in fact you repulse me. your AV's of your dicks make me yawn...you have no originality, no class. i don't want to cam with you, watch you on cam, call your hotel for phone sex, so don't bother asking! and don't bother PM'ing me again!!

 

[Miles Long]

Actually I learned a LOT about boys from Judy Blume books too. And why they carried math books to the board when they got called on even though the questions were WRITTEN on the board.

Some of us are still carrying those math books around in our late 20's.

 

[wonderingwhy]

Dear Parents of the Sleepover Girls.....
Moms and Dads...Parents, Guardians, whatever...
Please read the books you intend to allow your sleepover girls to read first. Approve them and discuss things with said girls before they read the books, encounter things they don't understand and then spend the night with me in charge.
It is not really fun for me to try and explain (although somewhat amusing after the fact) that sex does not necessarily involve broken headboards and waking up covered in feathers.
It's a little hard to know what to say and what to tell them.
Thank you
Melody,
who knows boys don't really sparkle
and would be willing to try for a broken headboard.

Dear Melody,

Thank you for cracking me the heck up.

wwhy

***

Dearest Kitchen,

Why is it that you only contain nutritious food? Where is all of the junk that one would normally find in any average American household? Are you trying to punish me for something I did to you in another life? Is it really too much to ask that you have boxes of Twinkies or bags of Doritos or packages of Oreos?

I mean, I'm a good person. I clean you regularly. I wash the dishes every day so that they don't litter your counter tops. I sweep your floors. I wipe your fridge and oven. Why can't you repay me by having some type of high calorie/fat product at midnight?

Sincerely,
she who used to take care of you, who is now going on strike until you produce some sort of fattening goodness

 

[bisolom]

Dear trying to steal the other kids toys...

I was playing with it first.
You stole it.
I got it back.
Unless you want to get into big fight in front of the other kids and the teachers...go play with your own toys,
If we get into a fight, they will probably call our parents and you dont want that.
btw...nice pic!

Keepin' what's mine.

 

[call_me_Melody]

Dear Penthouse....

I just wanted to jot you this note to tell you all about...
oh wait..

shhh.. it's a secret.

Love Melody

 

[availableslave2u]

dear needy friend,
did it ever occur to you that i might need you to listen to me for a change? when i sent you that e-mail last week telling you what was going on in my life don't you think you could have replied before today?

you know what sucks? the next time you have a problem, i'll be there for you right away. cause i'm a sucker.
me

 

[DoRaMe]

Dear Beading Sister....

I love you dearly and you have always been there for me. I walk into your house without even knocking, just like a family member but......

I am getting tired of your constant complaining. It is your mother who is on your case because all she wants you to do is clean house, your husband blames you for not picking up his meds and bringing them to him even though he forgot your anniversary yesterday, your 19 yo son just lost his Apple laptop after having it for only a month but you are afraid to say anything because he is threatening to join the Army, and even your 6 yo calls you names. I tell you to change it or accept it. You are letting them treat you this way. I have even come to your defense and confronted some of your family memebers but if you don't change the way you behave and they way you expect to be treated, I can't help you.

Hoping you change your ways litster

 

[boutrosboutros]

Dear Tranmere Rovers Football Club,

You are shite, but I love you anyway. Never give up the fight.

Thanks for the memories, I'll even support you when you're in League Two.

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear Mouse/rat/thing behind the skirting boards

Please leave now...via the outside route you came in.

Thank you

Standing On Chair Me

 

[boutrosboutros]

Dear Mouse/rat/thing behind the skirting boards

Please leave now...via the outside route you came in.

Thank you

Standing On Chair Me

Dear Scaredy-cat,

Get a grip, he's only probably 2% of the size of you!

 

[AnitaMann]

Dear X -
Why do you insist on trying to fuck up my holiday plans every time? I wish you could just understand how badly you hurt me, and how NO amount of your ass-kissing NOW is going to make up for all of the bullshit you put me through. You were wrong. You can't change, you didn't change, and you aren't even trying to change. Do you really think you can fool me again into falling for your line of shit?

 

[border_humper]

Dear Girl-Who-Is-Singing-Like-There's-No-tomorrow,

Tone it down just a little, please.

Me

 

[Morrigu]

Dear ManWhoMakesMyKnickersWet

Quit aiming your hose at my washing line.

Yours appreciatively

Ms Damp Knickers

 

[flirtygirly]

You Whom I Told To Suck My Ass
(and not in the good way either)

Where to start? I know it was horrible, and it was not meant for you to see. But it's out there. I can't retract it or undo it. I did apologize...but will not say I'm sorry. I cannot hide my feelings or emotions. I will not lie.

when you're done holding a grudge...gimme a call

my number is 867-5309....Lol

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear Scaredy-cat,

Get a grip, he's only probably 2% of the size of you!

Dear Litster

I know I know...it's just....ewwww!

Self Confessed Scaredy Cat

 

[mwmnpa]

You Whom I Told To Suck My Ass
(and not in the good way either)

Where to start? I know it was horrible, and it was not meant for you to see. But it's out there. I can't retract it or undo it. I did apologize...but will not say I'm sorry. I cannot hide my feelings or emotions. I will not lie.

when you're done holding a grudge...gimme a call

my number is 867-5309....Lol

Dear Tommy Tutone Lovin' Litster,

Great song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBHJqtgo8RA

 

[pleaz_me]

Dear X ...

Thank you for your offer and for being such a good friend. You know how much I hate days like today but you were willing to listen to me vent all day while you're supposed to be spending time with your family. You're sweet.

Me

 

[theravenfox]

Dear All My US Friends On Lit,

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with love and friendship and lots of good food. And for those of you inclined, lots of football too!

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Dear X
I kind of wish you hadn't invited my to thanksgiving dinner. I really do appreciate it, very much, but I kind of wish, instead, I'd just had the day to myself.
-lazy girl