Dear X

[Morrigu]

Dear buddy,

Whilst I love you dearly, aiming that super-soaker at my face was not a friendly thing to do.

Getting-out-the-hose-next-time friend

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Bed,

I love you. Your soft, clean smelling sheets, your firm mattress with the cushiony featherbed, and fluffy pillows make me feel like I'm sleeping on a cloud. You envelop me in softness and comfort. You are my refuge. I wish I never had to leave you. Now, if only I could find someone to share you with, someone who would love you as much as I do, I would be content.

Love,

Snuggly and Cuddly Me

 

[GoodOmen]

Dear girls across the street,
I'm sad y'all are moving. I enjoyed getting to know you both...and I really enjoyed checking you out. Your style is sexy and alluring...very different from most of the women around here. Enjoy the next phase of your life, wherever it might take you!
With lust,
Your older (but not that much older) across the street neighbor.

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Skirt,

You will go back today. You awful thing, you made my ass look very wide.

I will go get your cousin, the little strappy sundress instead.

You may hang there and make some other woman's ass look WIDE.

~just say no to skirts that make your ass look wide litster.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear loud ugly neighbour
SHHHHHHH

 

[Lorilei]

Dear eHarmony,

You still suck. Why is this questionnaire so freakin' LONG?!?!

Love,

Me

 

[snakebyte]

Dear eHarmony,

You still suck. Why is this questionnaire so freakin' LONG?!?!

Love,

Me

Dear eHarmony user,

wanna save you time, let me make you happy.

Love,
Knight in Shining Armor

 

[Natalya555]

dear ex
get out of my fuckin head!!!! why must my mind have insane crazy dreams about u? ughhhh

sincerly,

annoyed

 

[omahaman2]

dear me,
Why did you think you could stay out that late? You aren't getting any younger

me

 

[jenniferbaby]

Dear Bed,

I love you. Your soft, clean smelling sheets, your firm mattress with the cushiony featherbed, and fluffy pillows make me feel like I'm sleeping on a cloud. You envelop me in softness and comfort. You are my refuge. I wish I never had to leave you. Now, if only I could find someone to share you with, someone who would love you as much as I do, I would be content.

Love,

Snuggly and Cuddly Me

Dear Lorilei's Bed,

You sound a lot like my bed. And I could use someone to share mine with too!

Commiserating Bed Owner

 

[cdmcses]

Dear Sunshine,

Thank you for being so bright. I see things so clearly with you around.

me

 

[indecisiviously]

Dear Toes,

Oft neglected appendages, your summertime appearances haunt my subconscious. Bless the flip-flop, baring your naked sole to all. No more shall you squirrel away caches of fuzz, nestled in the crevices betwixt you. What do you say about the persons floating above? Dressed in a deep crimson polish, reminiscent of a streetwalker's lips. Painted with delicate petals and paisleys, shouting to the world, "Look at me!" And what is this? Unadorned, nails cut square, light callouses blooming beneath. These have run barefoot in the grass, splashed joyously in puddles after a warm summer rain, gracefully plucked violets while relaxing under the clouds.

They tap to an unheard rhythm as I slowly become transfixed.

Fetishly yours,

...i

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear Papa Johns pizza guy
i kinda like how you smiled at me

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear X 1
I am getting pretty fed up with the way you only text me when you want something and am gonna try really hard not to jump to answer it everytime you do. I like you but I think you are using me and until I see effort to the contrary things are going to change.

Dear X2
You, on the other hand, never fail to cheer me up with a little hello text and make me feel wanted and check on how I'm doing and answer me when I send you a little hi. I won't ruin your tough guy image but you are very sweet you know?

Dear X3
I can see a flicker. I hope it turns into a flame I really do *crosses fingers*

 

[Daizie]

Dear City Garbage Collectors,

I understand your need to do your job and ride from house to house collecting people's trash. Having to do this early in the morning is fine. Having to do so with squeaky brakes at 7:00 am on a "holiday" provokes murderous intent.

Please fix.

Sincerely,
A City Homeowner


Dear City Council Members,

Please see above.

~Annoyed Homeowner

 

[AlternateID]

Dear X,
Thank you for being the kind, sweet, understanding man that you are. For understanding, with out judging. And for holding me, when I needed it most.

 

[Essa]

Dear Jeans...

Why the hell do you require a coat-hanger to zip you up?

One bloody day you'll be dispensed...be warned.

 

[Lorilei]

Dear InStyler,

Thank you for giving me a new lease on life. Now I can be curly, or I can be silky smooth and straight. Either way, I can be sexy as hell, and it's liberating.

Love,

Lorilei's Hair





Dear Lorilei's Hand,

I'm so sorry I burned you, but really, it's all for the greater good. Nothing is more important than hair, after all.

Love,

Lorilei's InStyler

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Dear New Shoes
you fit great at the store.
You make my legs look 5 miles long.
Now you hurt like hell.
I will never forgive you.


all my love forever and ever,
me

 

[asian_princess]

Dear Vail's Shoes.

Thanks for the lingering images.

 

[Lorilei]

Dear X,

I hope you know that whenever I see a pic of your face, I just want to kiss you silly.

Love,
Me

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Dear Lingering Images

Its you I truly love

-me

 

[omahaman2]

dear next door neighbor
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00447/news-graphics-2007-_447992a.jpg

All of your neighbors

 

[asian_princess]

Dear Images of Lingering in Lingerie,

Truly?

Madly.

Deeply

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Dear Scenes Of Silky Softness And Skin
truly
madly
deeply

-this one