Dear X

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Heh... can't choose your family, right?

I've never been a parent, and probably never will be, so I can't really judge. I hope I'd never be so judgemental of a kid of mine that I'd lose track of what's really important, but, well, I wouldn't like to guess what kind of different baggage I'd bring to fuck up my own kids' life.

You might find that being gay (or bi?) might be the least of the issues though. I've known a lot of very "traditional", seemingly homophobic parents who, once they've gotten over the initial shock, have come to rethink their opinions and accept their kids' natural orientation a lot better than you'd have thought.

Like you say - there's always a lot of good in with the frustrating stuff.

WF
 
Dear Tailgaiting Mutherfucker,
If you are going to fucking ride my ass, at least pull my hair...shhheeeezzz.
Glaring at you in the rearview mirror girl
 
yeah there is good. sometimes we really get along. but other times i want to rip her head off!!! my father thinks its because we have the same birthday lol

but as far as the whole homophobic thing..that will never change..even if she knew. she would hate me for who i am. i am bisexual and to her that even worse than being just straight lesbian. she believes that people who are bisexual are just sleezes who want to have their cake and eat it too. which may be true..but i just like to have fun ;) ive been into girls since i was 12!! or at least that was when i started to act on it. i dont believe i would ever spend the rest of my life with a woman..because i prefer a man. but i do love my girlfriend and my boyfriend and right now our 3 way relationship is going great and has been for 2 years! i believe my mothers closed minded-ness has made me more open. i am more open about sex...talking about sex. my mother never talked to me about sex when i was little and by far i believe that was her biggest mistake..because it left me naive and unsure. and when i found things out for myself (the hard way) it wasnt good.

i also believe that every parent has pushed some kind of baggage onto their children..no matter how big or small. some things that our parents dont do make us better people. but the thing that i have realized is that our parents are super people..their just human. they do their best with what they have..no matter how bad they may piss you off. i love my mom i just wish she would realize that religion has been shoved down my throat since i was 2 weeks old and got baptized. its been a on going fuss between us. the more she talks about it the more i believe that religion is bullshit and that i should be atheist.

that and i wish she would come to terms with the fact that i have lived in america for 6 years...and that we left the ukraine when i was 10! i remember germany better than the ukraine! (we moved to germany after ukraine then to america) ..she hates we ever came here :( but i love it :(
 
Dear X,

So happy that made you happy.

Blessed be,

me
 
Dear other insane coworker
Ya need to put a stopper on that rank TUDE of yours
Im sorry you have teeth like Marge Simpson,but that is NOT my fault
The next time you talk your dumb shit,I just may show you HOW MUCH of a bitch i can be
 
Dear Headache,

OK Asshole...this is day #3. Haven't you had enough? Please get out of my head. I'm not able to function at work very well, not to mention the pain is a lot to bear. You are hurting me.

Fuck off,

Signed,
Painful Host
 
Dear Needed Body Part,

Your timing continues to suck. If you don't improve on that, I will take measures to have part of you snipped out and sent to the testing labs.

You can consider yourself warned.

Annoyed Host.
 
Dear Wallet,

Stop eating my money! Everytime I open you up there is less than before. You may gladly feast on the round coins but leave the paper bills alone!

Sincerely,
The Pocketbook's Landlord
 
Dear Daizie,

But....but....we needed those shoes! And that vibrator!

Just Looking Out For Your Best Interests,

Your Wallet
 
Dear Daizie,

But....but....we needed those shoes! And that vibrator!

Just Looking Out For Your Best Interests,

Your Wallet

Dear Wallet,

In that case....:D Just consult me next time.

Sincerely,
Pocketbook Owner



Dear Thread Owner,

You are beautiful and your sweetness and sense of humor makes you shine like a bright star. :rose:

Sincerely,
Happy Poster
 
Dear Wallet,

In that case....:D Just consult me next time.

Sincerely,
Pocketbook Owner



Dear Thread Owner,

You are beautiful and your sweetness and sense of humor makes you shine like a bright star. :rose:

Sincerely,
Happy Poster

Dear Daizie,

Oh, jeez. Um....wow. :eek: You just left me speechless, and trust me, that's not easy to do.

Blushing Profusely and Loving You Bunches,

Me
 
Dear July-in-Ontario,

Must your weather be so unpredictable? Sunny and warm, then rainy and cold, then sunny and cold, then rainy and humid? Seriously? Do you know how you are fucking with my hair? I'm already styling-challenged as it is, and you have to make things so much more difficult with your fucking wetness and humidity! :mad:

Fuck you. When is September getting here? :mad:

Signed, Frizzy Haired Unstylish Girl *sigh*
 
dear bitch ass co-worker

why must u do a slack ass job? oh maybe because you hate me! and you want me to stay late! ohh yeah just maybe? well your a dumb cunt and i would love nothing more than to rip ur fucking beady eyes out of ur skull and shove them down ur throat! thanks for always making me late to my thurday dinner dates! BITCH

sincerly, pissed off co-worker
 
dear bitch ass co-worker

why must u do a slack ass job? oh maybe because you hate me! and you want me to stay late! ohh yeah just maybe? well your a dumb cunt and i would love nothing more than to rip ur fucking beady eyes out of ur skull and shove them down ur throat! thanks for always making me late to my thurday dinner dates! BITCH

sincerly, pissed off co-worker

Dear pissed off co-worker,

Next time just say...If you don't stop doing a shitty job and making me stay late, I'm gonna pull out your eyes, and shove 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you.

Good luck!

A fellow poster
 
Dear Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant,

Thank you for Extras. Maggie's phone sex scene in episode one could be the funniest things i've ever seen.

Guffawingly yours,

...i
 
Dear Humidity,

Thank you so much for being surprisingly low lately.

Love,

Lorilei's Hair


Dear Hair,

Thank you for being fabulous lately. I can wear you curly and you look make me look like a silent film star. But when you're straight, you're shiny, silky smooth, and I love flipping you around and running my fingers through you. It feels sexy. I feel like I have Charlie's Angels hair.

You have the low humidity to thank for that. You should say something.

Love,

Me
 
Dear Delicious Sundress I Saw At the Store Tonight,

Yes, I heard you calling my name as I walked by...and I do agree, we were made for each other, but tonight, due to company in attendance, I could not take you with me.

I will, however, be back tomorrow, to bring you home where you belong.

Don't worry, I put you where no one but me will find you :D

~We Belong Together
 
I was going to write this in the 'what made me say fuck' & then saw this thread -- perfect! *getting out my my best bond writing paper* *licking my pen nib*

Dear Ignorant Turd at the Bakery,

why? why? and fuck that you big stinker! You just couldn't wait 1 minute until you got outside? Who said it's ok to drop your inhibitions and decorum & to let loose with your bodily functions in an enclosed space? ie: fart right on me when you knew I was standing behind you waiting to be served!!!!!!!!

signed
(still emotionally scarred & desperately gas mask hunting on ebay)
Had to Run soooo Fast Towards Fresh Air & Drive Another 5 frickin' Minutes Just to Buy Bread
 
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