Dear X

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Dear MrEd63,

I came here to write the same thing you said and it was only because I decided to see what others wrote that I came across your missive. I rarely get any messages from people and when I do it's generally about something I posted. Like you, it would be nice if after I provide the requested information a perfunctory 'Thanks' would be given at some point in the not too distant future.

It's bad enough the people I work with think I'm the only one who knows the answer to every problem, despite us having a helpdesk, and call me whenever they feel like it, but when random strangers ask a question and can't be bothered to to close the conversation they started, it makes me wonder if I should even bother responding any more.

The one who people don't understand why they're always grumpy


Dear Life,

Ya know, it would really be nice if you could have some continuity. Yesterday you gave me much eye candy with the attractive African-American woman sashaying down the same street I was driving down in her boots and pleated skirt which swirled nicely as she walked.

Today you give me an idiot who partially blocked the exit to my parking area because they were parked in the No Parking zone, another idiot coming out of the gas station who thought they'd make a left turn to make a right rather than coming out on the street they wanted (without headlights and driving a black car to boot) and then the apparently semi-homeless person stutter-stepping across the street as our light turned green who then, miraculously, sprinted like Jesse Owens to get to the other side.

Either give me eye candy or give me idiots during the week, but not both.

Waiting for a decision


Dear Third Party provider,

I'm not sure what idiots you people have hired, but to call the person who came to our place today an idiot would be to do a disservice to true idiots. I specifically put in the call the part needed to be replaced because it was damaged. What did your idiot do? They replaced it back in the same machine.

The second ticket I put in I worded a bit differently by including the word 'ordered' as in, "This part needs to be ordered and replaced." I even left the part in front of the equipment with the damage showing so there wouldn't be a second misunderstanding. What did the idiot do? As far as I can tell, they put the same part back in the equipment a second time.

When I call tomorrow and talk directly to you, if I seem a bit gruff and peeved, this is why.

Wondering when it's open season on idiots
 
Dear D,

When are you going to be done with this bullshit. You can't even see how much it tears up everyone in your family. I'm at a total loss. I have no idea how to help you, and you won't let anyone anyway. You're missing life. That's really the worst part. Because it's a lot of fun.

Signed

D
 
Dear SS,

Thank you for reminding me how sexy I can be when I want something.

PS. I know what you want

~ You're Welcome.
Agave
 
Dear fellow employee,

To be blunt, you're only a half step above useless. You are unable to read and follow detailed instructions and if by chance those instructions are in some manner lacking, you are completely unable to use your 2 pounds of grey matter and figure out what is needed.

When you ask me how to resolve an issue and I tell you what is needed, you always answer, "I don't have time for that," and go away to ask someone else who, oddly enough, comes back to me and gets the same answer I gave you.

This "I don't have time for that" is why it took you nearly this entire week to accomplish the configuration of two machines which should have taken, at most, 4 hours. When you asked me on Monday how the one machine should be done, I told you it was a basic configuration. Nothing special or out of the ordinary. On Wednesday, when our boss was back from hunting, you asked him the exact same question and received the exact same answer. What were you doing those previous two days?

I realize I have made the choice to work in the public sector, but it would be nice if people such as yourself wouldn't perpetuate the stereotype of government workers being incompetent. I work hard at my job and people know my reputation for getting the job done quickly, efficiently and with as little disruption to their work as possible. If you're not going to take the time to do your job, to follow the procedural documentation I have created (oh that's right, you never read them) or follow directions, then why should I bother to help you when you come around asking for help? I guess you're just lucky I'm not your supervisor because I would have told you a long time ago to either step it up or be moved elsewhere.

Living the mantra, "Working with Idiots will kill you"
 
Dear Bakhtin,

I love you, but arrrrrrrggggggghhhhh you made me have to bend everything around you and now my brain aches.

Tired of fighting with my own thinking,
Me.
 
Dear Pizza Maker,
You outdid yourself last night.
The pizza was outstanding and the fact that you took the time to talk to my brother . Thank you
 
Dear you....

I don't technically know you but I have to say you drive me crazy. I know the game you're playing and the fact that his heart isn't all that important to you really pisses me off. You have absolutely no idea how amazing he is and how much joy he brings to those around him...or maybe you do and you're pissed that his world doesn't revolve around you and keeping your status. To be perfectly honest I find myself thinking of you as a giant leech. I can only hope you straighten up and give up the drama queen shit. I'm sure we'll cross paths eventually and I want to be able to get along and not feel like I want to throat punch you the entire time. Until then....be nice...the rest of us are watching.

Me
 
Dear TN,

You're taking over my thoughts, and I don't know what to do.

Signed,

Freaking out
 
Dear Cunt Cakes,

Just in case you haven't figured it out yet, you were set up today. You see everyone has been watching you treat me like crap for 2 months now. Ozzie heard your comment the other day about how you wished harm on me. For what reason? Because I took "your" cleaning solution from the company store room? The form you have in there is hand written by you only for your benefit to look important. I have tried to be polite to you, yet you are snide and snotty. So today when you told me I wasnt allowed in the women's locker room to get my lock out tag out gear and my hard hat because you were cleaning the floor I took great pleasure watching the plant manager rip you a new ass.

Next time you better turn around and make sure no one is listening to you spew your filth

Hope you have a wonderful evening and I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Me.
 
Dear X,

I know you thought you were being sly telling me I was in charge of dinner and should make you dinner. As an early Christmas gift to myself I decided to sell/donate 29 of your shirts and 7 pairs of your pants. I'll also be throwing away 2 boxes of the crap you asked me to help you move out of your office. You're a lazy fuck. Seriously, no one cares that you had an album in the 90's that was 25 years ago. Give up the dream of winning the lotto and pick up your own detritus. I'm not your mule. However, if there's another sexy ass in the stable you can be damn sure I'll be checking out his pedigree.

:) Naughty Overworked Elf
 
Dear Cunt Cakes,

Just in case you haven't figured it out yet, you were set up today. You see everyone has been watching you treat me like crap for 2 months now. Ozzie heard your comment the other day about how you wished harm on me. For what reason? Because I took "your" cleaning solution from the company store room? The form you have in there is hand written by you only for your benefit to look important. I have tried to be polite to you, yet you are snide and snotty. So today when you told me I wasnt allowed in the women's locker room to get my lock out tag out gear and my hard hat because you were cleaning the floor I took great pleasure watching the plant manager rip you a new ass.

Next time you better turn around and make sure no one is listening to you spew your filth

Hope you have a wonderful evening and I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Me.


High Five...:D:heart::rose:
 
Dear you,
Thank you for everything

You are welcome hon...I so adore you...am always here for you, as you are for me, and then some...you are a blessing, a joy and an amazing and beautiful friend...I love you to the moon and back

:heart::rose:
 
Dear Woman who gave birth to me -

If I could have stock in the visits you take to medical facilities I would have been able to retire years ago and likely own a small chain of islands by now

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

I know I should have patience but honestly it wore thin years ago.

Wishing for a normal holiday season JUST once.

Your spawn
 
Dear crazy bitch ass receptionist,

If he could walk himself to class without incident do you really think I'd be standing here?! I'm not the cupcake mommy, or the "my kid is specialer than yours" mommy. I'm the beat down tired mommy who wishes more than anything I didn't have to have you call down to get a specially trained aide to walk my kid to class mommy. So stop with the eye rolls and the deep sighs and the dirty looks. I could seriously do without that shit.


"Nobody asks for this crazy" Mommy
 
Dear Woman who gave birth to me -

If I could have stock in the visits you take to medical facilities I would have been able to retire years ago and likely own a small chain of islands by now

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

I know I should have patience but honestly it wore thin years ago.

Wishing for a normal holiday season JUST once.

Your spawn
Dear FGG's Egg Provider,
I'm sending you a roommate, my egg provider. Enjoy your new friend!
Wanting an escape

Dear "Older Version Of Me",
I owe you nothing. I don't have to pay you back for doing what you are obligated to do for your child 10 years later because you want a vacation. You do not have the right to call anyone in my life to "find out" if I'm ok, your antics are why I cut you out of my life the first time, if you continue harassing people I love to find out where I am, you will find yourself knowing even less than you do now. My bank account is not your bank account and while you get upset with boundaries you are about to find a whole bunch of new ones.
Sincerely,
Gone shopping with MY money
 
Dear father of my children...

Please do not continue to be stupid and plan to change and have me change my parenting techniques on the advice of your gf.

I ended our relationship, in part, because of your inability to stand for something, for anything. That you continue to be a chameleon and change so that people will like you makes me sad.

You changing your glasses, your hair, your clothes, etc for her do not change who you are at the core...

Our children respect and listen to me... When they hit my house on Wednesdays it takes me a bit to get them back into that mode... So again... I don't need someone that's trying to change you to change my children.

Ugh.
 
Dear X

please do not ask for an Aston Martin for your 50th birthday when
a) we can't afford one and
b) there is only 100 minutes to go........

Your ever loving wife :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
 
Dear SB,

As much as I want to climb on that sexy beard...
I don't think you are ready for me.

Signed,

Too much
 
Dear X,

Somethings never change; the way some people treat others.....

and it will never be okay to be that way, no matter how hard you keep at it...

the sour look all about you should warn the unsuspecting, but at times you hide it

so well ....

Here it is Christmas and once again, we the foolish try yet again to include you ...

I want to say: " hear this love, the circle ends this year. No more tries will be

forthcoming" ....but then I would be acting like you instead of me. I will not put limits

and conditions on every act of care that comes forth ...... how can every little thought

and act of care be so calculated to you.....We all have known each other longer then I

care to even remember; we all have our labels, our nicknames for one another, and

yet you still need to protect and hold back and slash with depth and precision .....

Why................................

Merry, Merry,

the sweet one.
 
Dearest Santa,


Where did all the magic go? Where is the wonder? Where are the quiet reflective moments? Where is the true spirit of Christmas? All I feel is heartache and sorrow at the avarice and entitlement I see all around me. Not even the small ones have any Christmas joy. It has all been replaced by stress and the need to find ways to fit everything in. I'd like a time machine for Christmas... I am yearning for simpler times.


Disgruntled mamma elf.
 
Dear Boss,

The fact that you question my integrity after I openly and unequivocally explain the situation that occurred makes me both laugh and wonder.

I laugh because you seem to only question it after I didn't agree with your interpretation of the events in question. I wonder because I ask myself did you tell your boss that you are late to work at least twice a week? Have you told them that most of the time when you're late you smell of straight alcohol? Have you told your wife, the woman waiting for you half way around the world, about that woman you've been kissing out at the bar?

Yet you question my integrity of the situation after I quickly and openly explained exactly what happened in front of you and two of your bosses?

I find you, and this whole organization, to be a joke.

I'm glad my time left is short.

Sincerely,

The one you sold down the river in the name of "integrity."
 
Dearest Santa,


Where did all the magic go? Where is the wonder? Where are the quiet reflective moments? Where is the true spirit of Christmas? All I feel is heartache and sorrow at the avarice and entitlement I see all around me. Not even the small ones have any Christmas joy. It has all been replaced by stress and the need to find ways to fit everything in. I'd like a time machine for Christmas... I am yearning for simpler times.


Disgruntled mamma elf.

Dear disgruntled...

Watch this... It made me very happy and teary. Their motives might be for positive PR but I don't care... I'd fly with them.

http://youtu.be/zIEIvi2MuEk
 
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