Dear X:

[rida]

Dear H,

I'm out of words.
I'm out of energy.

You want me to listen and yet you do not talk.
You want me to talk and yet you shut me up.
You want me close by and yet you push me away.
You want space and yet you accuse me of not caring.

I cannot win. Hell, I cannot even tie!

Tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what you want me to say.

I'm trying to listen, but I cannot listen if you do not talk.

I love U.

 

[Keroin]

Dear H,

I'm out of words.
I'm out of energy.

You want me to listen and yet you do not talk.
You want me to talk and yet you shut me up.
You want me close by and yet you push me away.
You want space and yet you accuse me of not caring.

I cannot win. Hell, I cannot even tie!

Tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what you want me to say.

I'm trying to listen, but I cannot listen if you do not talk.

I love U.

and hugs Rida.

 

[YourCaptor]

September 23rd

Dear Obama and others who worked on the affordable care act.

Thank you for the life line, and I mean that in the most literal sense possible.

Now if I die (except in 2012 and 2013) it’ll be because I or some doctor fucked up, not because of finances.

It’s a good feeling. I feel safer.

And you know that’s not the end of the line either, now I have more money with which I can make even more money, and actually pay a decent amount back into the system.

See I knew there was a reason why I would have voted for that guy if I was allowed to vote.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Dear M,

I love you, and I know you love me. However, this is a very fucked up situation. I know about the drama with your family, but this other shit is just too much. I understand you made a promise long ago, but also things happen, and there are other people involved at this point.

You may want to rethink things before it's too late, because I wait on the sidelines for no one.

Meanwhile, I do hurt...

MP

 

[rida]

Dear S,

I know you do not like me talking like this. But here it goes.

I feel and fear my role in your life is coming to an end. It's scary how I never was able to see far in the future with our relationship: a shiny red thread that just ends in a fog. Does it continue on the other side? Or does it get cut off?

Somehow it feels as if the fog is just my own unwillingness to face reality.
And reality is that I'm not what you want and need. And I'll never be.

Still I will not be the one ending it this time. I'll be here, yours, until you'll call the end of it.

partimely yours

how uncanny that we are at the count down ...

and hugs Rida.

Thank you.
But right now I preferred when he was not talking.
Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't.

 

[Earthgoddess]

Dear X,
I know this is overly complicated, and I know there is an enormous amount at stake. I also know that I am willing to try, to try and get back to what we had before all this information tumbled out over us and decisions were made about the ties that bind. I ask for nothing more than honesty and a chance to make this work. A chance to yet again kneel at your feet and have you feast on my submission. Another chance to finger ripening bruises, another opportunity to try all that we have whispered and growled to each other. I ask for nothing more than that, no promises of forever, no intertwined worlds. I ask for pleasure, and truth, and that is all. My wish is simply for more time, more opportunities. I write this tonight because it may the the last place I can document these feelings, since tomorrow night may end all of what we have had,and that seems unbearable.
Loss can not be our theme, not when we have found so much together.
I am willing to try,
yours

 

[BiBunny]

Dear X,

I've wasted years of my life making excuses for you. I've finally run out of either excuses or the inclination to make them anymore.

~Bunny

 

[Kajira Callista]

Dear E,
YES I want to try this again!!!!
Please don't let us ruin it again...please be honest. I promise I will be also.
I love you,
your girl

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Dear E,
YES I want to try this again!!!!
Please don't let us ruin it again...please be honest. I promise I will be also.
I love you,
your girl

Dear E,

You hurt her once, badly, already.

Don't do it again. If you can't live up to your promises, be honest and say so. She doesn't deserve to have her heart kicked in once, let alone more. Get your shit together and recognize what a gem you now have a second chance at winning.

 

[Earthgoddess]

waste

Dear X,
I thought this would be the beginning of something new.
My submission was an act of trust. You used me in the worst way by exploiting that trust. This hurts, and that makes it worse that I can't just let anger burn through it. No, instead I am dealing with the betrayal.
Which means it aches.
And I am full of questions like, why me? Why did you do this to me? I never play with married guys, make a huge point of that actually in my posts. Yet knowing all of this you pursued me, which makes it all the more confusing.
I want the time I spent with you back, I want to never have walked this path.
How dare you.
eg

 

[Kikori]

Dear EG,

The time won't come back, but just remember you're not alone. You're probably very much in for numerous hugs, many sympathies, and perhaps a couple notions of "Make sure his wife knows about his womanizing habits, if you can."

With *Hugs*
Kikori

 

[Earthgoddess]

Thanks

Dear EG,

The time won't come back, but just remember you're not alone. You're probably very much in for numerous hugs, many sympathies, and perhaps a couple notions of "Make sure his wife knows about his womanizing habits, if you can."

With *Hugs*
Kikori

Dear Kikori,
Thank you,I have decided my best revenge will be to recover, renew myself and find a Dom who deserves me. But tonight I am wallowing and snuffling and might listen to lots of Johnny Cash.
hugs
Eg

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

Dear X,

I hope some day you can realize just how totally amazing you really are. I've never met anyone quite like you, and I'm so glad you're in my life. You mean the world to me!

Love,
Me

 

[minx1]

Dear X's (above!)

I won't quote all of your posts because of the space issue, but I just wanted to thank you all for caring enough to post.
In all honesty I did read them at the time, but I havent been in a particularly good head space and didnt feel able to respond back then.

I am still up and down emotionally, although I am not having as many downs..or not such huge ones anyway

I still dont know how to get over it, so all I am doing is just going with it. Unfortunately its not a ride I can get off lol.

I cant help still loving him or missing him, I really wish I didnt...it would be so much easier. But just because I still feel love and miss him doesnt mean that I excuse what he has done. I don't.
My problem has always been that I love hard, when I love. I commit and I am loyal and so having to change that mindset almost over night, doesnt always come easy.

I guess I wanted explanations just for my own healing process really, but I accept what you are all saying. I know it makes sense.

Thankyou so much for all of your support. Please know that your words arent lost on me at all

love,

Me

 

[YourCaptor]

Dear X's (above!)

I won't quote all of your posts because of the space issue, but I just wanted to thank you all for caring enough to post.
In all honesty I did read them at the time, but I havent been in a particularly good head space and didnt feel able to respond back then.

I am still up and down emotionally, although I am not having as many downs..or not such huge ones anyway

I still dont know how to get over it, so all I am doing is just going with it. Unfortunately its not a ride I can get off lol.

I cant help still loving him or missing him, I really wish I didnt...it would be so much easier. But just because I still feel love and miss him doesnt mean that I excuse what he has done. I don't.
My problem has always been that I love hard, when I love. I commit and I am loyal and so having to change that mindset almost over night, doesnt always come easy.

I guess I wanted explanations just for my own healing process really, but I accept what you are all saying. I know it makes sense.

Thankyou so much for all of your support. Please know that your words arent lost on me at all

love,

Me

Told you it'll get better. Soon you'll get to that weird stage where thing just suddenly flair up out of nowhere. And after that you'll want to meet them so you can tell them a variety of things that boil down to "you suck so bad", but don't, things generally wont happen as you imagine they would. After all that you'll start meeting interesting guys all over the place again, handing out phone numbers, till eventually you go gaga over one of them.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Dear X's (above!)

I ... just wanted to thank you all for caring enough to post.

No need to thank us - or me, at least You would - and have - given many of us your caring. So this is payback.

.... I know it makes sense.

"Sense" is often the last thing that occurs in relationships. Or understanding them. Or getting over them. It takes time, but remember the words of the sage: "Not only does time heal all wounds, but it also wounds all heels." Remember that when things get a little raggedy around the edges. Things are and will be getting better for you; for him, the worst is yet to come.

Thank you so much for all of your support. Please know that your words arent lost on me at all

I never thought they were or would be. I don't waste many words - or seconds - on people I think don't listen and think, and you have proven that you do both.

 

[Earthgoddess]

Dear X,

The fact that I am into BDSM does not negate or exacerbate my ability to find myself in a bad situation...there is not a higher jerk ratio in my "freakish" choices. You are so vanilla it makes me teeth ache and you have managed to scrape the bottom of the humanity barrel time and time again.
This was a mess, not because he bite me,not for pulling my hair and most certainly not for making me ache with want and bruises. That was his best stuff, and the reason I liked him so much.
And I would really love it if your opinions about me and my choices could be kept to yourself. Not helping me, really, not going to make me see the light of day about my submission. In fact all they are doing is making me so snitty that our Thanksgiving plans will include me cooking side dishes you hate, and being Martha Stewart as you snivel about your latest break up. Be warned I have leeks and chestnuts and will use them liberally.
Forewarned,
eg

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Dear C,

I'm so glad I ran into you!! Your new wife is intelligent, witty, and stunning! You two are clearly so happy together, a happiness that is well deserved. You are a good man and I'm happy to call you a friend.


Dear E,

My life is pretty close to awesome at the moment. As odd as it seems, a great deal of my happiness is owed to you, your words, your advice, your direction. A perspective exists for me now that didn't before. Much of the world exists for me now that didn't before.

I know that you have regrets and for that I am truly sorry. But I'm confident that had it not been for you, I would have plummeted, taken a much different path. You saved me from myself. I believe we made a connection that is rare and lasting. Should years pass without a word, I will still feel a bond.

With love and respect,

Me

Dear H,

How unbelievable is our life right now? Two years ago I would not have predicted anything like this. You are an amazing father, husband, lover, and friend. I love you so much!!

Forever yours,
Me

 

[BiBunny]

Dear X,

I love you. More than life itself. And most of the time, I hate it. I think a part of me hates you for making me feel the way I do about you. It hurts so much because while we can't fix it, I can't walk away, either. So I'm stuck in this horrible sort of limbo, and it SUCKS. Especially because now I know you'll never love me the way I love you.

Please. I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life.

~Me

 

[Soumis]

Dear X,

I'd really love a good day at work. The kind that reminds me that most people are decent human beings. Thanks.

-soumis

 

[KaeyMee]

Dear X,

Thank you for reappearing in my life and reminding me of who I am (or what you made me?!), what I like (what you made me like?!) and what I can become (despite the 23 year 'nilla gap) . Hope you don't mind that the sexual pleasure, physical pain and emotional roller coaster ride you put me through (oh alright I let you!) has become the most empowering inspiration for my re-found love of writing. As I travel through the sense of abandonment, betrayal, hate and back round to love and denial I can write from many emotional and switching perspectives. I feel like my stories are my own self indulgent therapy and virtual sexual exploration. Sometimes you have me, sometimes I have you, and sometimes I get even! Whichever way, I get what I want.

I also have to thank you for dumping me. That makes us even now, though it won't be so painful for me getting (or not getting) over you as it was for you (so you said) trying to get over me the first time. Shame really 'cause you know how much I love pain! Funny how you said you don't. I know that was a lie 'cause I remember.

I can now be friends with my husband again without feeling like I'm betraying you (how misguided was that?). He was kind enough to introduce me to websites that cater for my re-awakened kinks and suggested I took a different tack. Put myself back in control. Ah, of course! If you had allowed me to hurt you, you would have lost control. Clever hubby!

I am so looking forward to dedicating myself to this new direction in my life. But you can't take all the credit. There won't be a 'third time lucky' for us either. I hope you enjoyed the ride because it is now decommissioned due to jumping the tracks. I've continued to evolve since we broke up, just as we evolved with new kinks and the acknowledgment that we were beyond safe words (can't say much when there's a hand around your throat or across your mouth). The larvae is currently in the process of metamorphosis and who knows, it could be a Tiger Moth or a Deaths Head Hawk Moth! Or even a Praying Mantis, especially as you couldn't quite fathom how someone with my BDSM desires could be actively religious. I can't fathom it either, I just accept it. I thought you were a gift from God but you made me a fallen angel, on my knees.

And that is all behind me just as you were so often. I think that I will only get over you when I start living this life and put myself 'out there'. I think I will always love you, it was so easy to fall in love with you a second time, despite you making me remember why I quit you the first time 23 years ago. I certainly can't hate you for making me face myself (though that hurt initially).

Oh, and I mustn't forget, thank you for also showing me that, at least for now, I'm limitless. You can't imagine how smug that makes me feel. The student has transcended the master. I can be who ever I want to be, try whatever I want to try and won't let anyone betray me like you did (until the next time!).

This could be that first step 'out there' . . .

Your extraordinarily extra special X

 

[Sprinkles22]

Dear X:

Thank you for spending time with me today.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Dear X

I'm looking forward to today, but I'm so very nervous. I know you'll take care of me though.

XXX

 

[minx1]

Dear X & X,

I am finding peace and going to move on.

You have done unmentionable things and those things have had a devastating effect on my life and wellbeing, but thats not important now.

I forgive you.

L

 

[YourCaptor]

Dear X & X,

I am finding peace and going to move on.

You have done unmentionable things and those things have had a devastating effect on my life and wellbeing, but thats not important now.

I forgive you.

L

Aww, see how nice you are.

But you know, revenge, if the price is worth it too you, is totally legit.

So what new hobbie have you taken up through all this that has added a few coolness points to your awesomeness?