Dear X:

[Homburg]

That's the one i'm talking about. One word: hawt.

Yep, I agree. Great thread, incredible aesthtic. Shanks has good taste.

 

[doveofserenity]

Hell with it

Had to do this tonight and still crying


Dear (and no X here) MOM,

Why can't you see reason? They just put a pacemaker in you. You just had a rod and 32 steel fucking pins put in a shattered leg. You can't walk halfway up the hall without being out of breath. You don't even remember what month it is, half the time.

But you want to leave the home and live on your own again? See reason dammit. The nurses are there to take care of you, if you fall, help is there. You are in beginning of Alzheimers and you don't want to admit it to yourself.

Yes mom, this hurts like hell for me. Seeing you laying there with your back to me, as i try to make you see reason.

i hate having to have done what i did tonight, but its the only way i know to get it thru to you; that you are not able to take care of yourself anymore. And that the home is the best place for you.

i meant what i said though. Unless you put it in writing that i become your power of attorney; i wash my hands of you. Do you think i want the kids seeing you laying on the ground like before, or even them seeing you dead? Just because you want to cook your own foods again???

For Gods sake, get real. If you dont, then what i said; i meant. Say goodbye to ever seeing your grandkids again. Because i wont have them finding you dead, because of you being stubborn!

i love you mom, goodbye.

~slams the phone down, crying my eyes out~

 

[DeservingBitch]

I hear your pain doveofserenity and I can relate.

Wishing you faith and trust in your own strenght.

 

[LittleJade]

Had to do this tonight and still crying


Dear (and no X here) MOM,

Why can't you see reason? They just put a pacemaker in you. You just had a rod and 32 steel fucking pins put in a shattered leg. You can't walk halfway up the hall without being out of breath. You don't even remember what month it is, half the time.

But you want to leave the home and live on your own again? See reason dammit. The nurses are there to take care of you, if you fall, help is there. You are in beginning of Alzheimers and you don't want to admit it to yourself.

Yes mom, this hurts like hell for me. Seeing you laying there with your back to me, as i try to make you see reason.

i hate having to have done what i did tonight, but its the only way i know to get it thru to you; that you are not able to take care of yourself anymore. And that the home is the best place for you.

i meant what i said though. Unless you put it in writing that i become your power of attorney; i wash my hands of you. Do you think i want the kids seeing you laying on the ground like before, or even them seeing you dead? Just because you want to cook your own foods again???

For Gods sake, get real. If you dont, then what i said; i meant. Say goodbye to ever seeing your grandkids again. Because i wont have them finding you dead, because of you being stubborn!

i love you mom, goodbye.

~slams the phone down, crying my eyes out~

Oh honey.

*hugging you tight, and offering my open PM box*

 

[Homburg]

~slams the phone down, crying my eyes out~

*big, long, warm hug*

Sometimes there's no difference in how the choices will make you feel. But making the right choice is better for everyone involved.

I told you before that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. I truly believe that, sweetheart.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Oh Dove I feel your pain, I am going thru a similar thing with my mother.... My heart andprayers go out to you

 

[EmpressFi]

*hugs*

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Oh Baby I'm sending hugs your way.

Had to do this tonight and still crying


Dear (and no X here) MOM,

Why can't you see reason? They just put a pacemaker in you. You just had a rod and 32 steel fucking pins put in a shattered leg. You can't walk halfway up the hall without being out of breath. You don't even remember what month it is, half the time.

But you want to leave the home and live on your own again? See reason dammit. The nurses are there to take care of you, if you fall, help is there. You are in beginning of Alzheimers and you don't want to admit it to yourself.

Yes mom, this hurts like hell for me. Seeing you laying there with your back to me, as i try to make you see reason.

i hate having to have done what i did tonight, but its the only way i know to get it thru to you; that you are not able to take care of yourself anymore. And that the home is the best place for you.

i meant what i said though. Unless you put it in writing that i become your power of attorney; i wash my hands of you. Do you think i want the kids seeing you laying on the ground like before, or even them seeing you dead? Just because you want to cook your own foods again???

For Gods sake, get real. If you dont, then what i said; i meant. Say goodbye to ever seeing your grandkids again. Because i wont have them finding you dead, because of you being stubborn!

i love you mom, goodbye.

~slams the phone down, crying my eyes out~

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Dear X,

BDSM as a lifestyle is a journey, not a destination. As long as you live, it will grow and change, just as you do. If you have a healthy relationship, it will ebb and flow, it will be dynamic, not static...

You may be in one place emotionally today, another tomorrow. And that's okay. To expect otherwise with a person is to have an unrealistic expectation. The good partners are the ones who understand that fluidity of human nature and will allow you to be you. They will harness and direct and change that fluidity, they will adapt themselves to you, and will guide you to where they want and need you to be, all the while allowing you to be you.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Dear X~

I can not wait until you come home. At least then I will know exactly where we stand. Less than 36 hours left now.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Dear X,

BDSM as a lifestyle is a journey, not a destination. As long as you live, it will grow and change, just as you do. If you have a healthy relationship, it will ebb and flow, it will be dynamic, not static...

You may be in one place emotionally today, another tomorrow. And that's okay. To expect otherwise with a person is to have an unrealistic expectation. The good partners are the ones who understand that fluidity of human nature and will allow you to be you. They will harness and direct and change that fluidity, they will adapt themselves to you, and will guide you to where they want and need you to be, all the while allowing you to be you.

Dear EG

Thank you so much!

SKL

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Dear M,

There is so much I wanna tell you and be for you... yet I am still acting like a bitch at times and keep saying and doing things which dissapoint and displease you. I am so sorry.... *deep sigh*

I often feel I am too good for P. and maybe I even am I dunno. You and him are two so SO different people. And I have to admit you are too good for me. I am shy for myself, I really am and I am very sorry I have drag my insecurities between me and you and doubted what we do and share.

I missed you. Missed you bad. Missed what we do and share and I really feel like a desert which needs your rain. I am not saying this to excuse the way I acted last few days, or maybe I do I dunno. I need you... Need you more than I can say and more than I am willing to admit at times. I dunno this with men. I find it hard to admit I need someone this bad. It scares me and fears me.

I find it hard to trust people and I rarely let someone get this close to me. So close as you are. I did let few people come in and I am still dealing with the pain it caused me. So yes at times I doubt everything and everyone including you and I know it suck. I know you gave me no reason to doubt you or fear I might ever lose you, but I did yes. I spent lots of nights crying and fearing if I"ll still be your good girl once I am back.

After my return you told me I AM still yours, but I still had those damned doubts in me, I dunno why. I am so sorry... I exactely know where from my doubts and insecurity comes from and you know very well too. And I know you said it's my choose to stay in this "relationship". Yes I have choose to stay. I am not really sure if thats really smart thing to do at times, but it's just how things are. It's where I belong somehow so guess I gota live it and it doesn't matter if I like it or not. It doesn't matter if it hurts or not.

I have no place to go and it will stay like that for at least next 3 years while I will be home with my lil baby. Then when I will work again I can find me some job, have more cash and maybe then I will leave yes if things won't get better. But I might as well just stfu and stay as I always did, I dunno. Depends what I will see as good for our kids. I don't give a shit about me, I never did. Or maybe P. will just leave me. It wouldn't be for the first time and it wouldn't suprise me either. He can be here today, but he can be gone tomorrow I went thro this so manytimes. You never know what tomorrow will bring with him. Life with P. is full of suprises, but my lil girl loves him and so do I, someway.

Maybe I am just a loser who dunno stand on her own feets. Maybe it's just more easier for me to stay in this than face this world all alone, I dunno. I dunno explain. I know it sadness you to see me staying in this so called relationship. I tryed find me a new love and forget about P., but it just didn't work. I kept missing him + the men I get to know was kinda the same as he is, so why should I bother with who I live? For me men=all the same and it doens't matter with which one I live. I am not saying you are the same as P.!!, but find a man like you in my own state and city would be a lil miracle. I tryed, but I wasn't lucky. Guess I just give up.

I am no Cinderrela, I am not even close to be. Theres no prince out there waiting for me. I used to dream about it yes, but let's be realistic. You could be my prince, you surely have all the qualities I search for and need in man. But the truth is you are there and I am here. We are oceans away and that won't change + I can't really say I love you so less to wish you life by my side. I can't do a good life partner just right now.

Man who would live with me would be a poor person, for many reasons. The bigest reason is my insecurity and hard time to trust men. I find it hard, almost impossible sometimes. The level of trust I put in you is big and I can freely say you deserved it. I know you can be trusted and guess thats why is so easy for me to share myself with you on the level we does. You are special, you really are and I am very lucky you have so much of patience and understanding for me.

I know I am not easy to love. I am not even easy to talk with, but you're always there. Thank you so much M., thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me the way I am, with all my faults and mistakes. And thank you for allowing me to be "ME" and still keep on loving me. You surely are an amazing person and I am honored belong to someone like you. I so love when you call me "YOURS". I don't really think I deserve it. Thank you for accepting me the way I am.

I love you M. I love you in a very special way and I hope you know it. You make my days nicer. Everything is nicer with you around. With your love I am free and theres just very less things that can hurt me as long as you love me. At your feets is where I am longing to be... If just dreams could come true. *sigh*

I hope you will never regret the time and efort you put in me. Time you put in the care about me. I appreciate it M., I really do and I hope one day you will be prode of me. I know you are already, but theres nothing to be prode of just yet, or maybe I just cannot see myself with your eyes. Maybe one sweet day I will. I love you M., thank you for everything.

sincerely yours
Kate

*drying the tears off and leaving to do my housework*

 

[bholderman]

B,

Dont talk like that, please. It doesnt help you. I realize that this is a Dear X thread, but when it comes to the real world, its been explained to me that I simply need to work on myself, improve myself vastly, recover from the trauma and depression and not to pursue the Significant Other. Certainly, if kids are involved there is a requirement for some contact, which in a way is good because it will allow the S.O. to see the changes in you. That doesnt mean use the kids as any kind of tug-rope, simply an opportunity to "show off."

Im still in the early stages of that, and its a struggle. Emerging out of this is an incredibly intuitive 8-year old, who zeroes in on my low points and can pick me back up. Her costume suggestion for me for Halloween was a red cape with an "S" on my chest.

I often feel I am too good for P. and maybe I even am I dunno. You and him are two so SO different people. And I have to admit you are too good for me. I am shy for myself, I really am and I am very sorry I have drag my insecurities between me and you and doubted what we do and share.

I missed you. Missed you bad. Missed what we do and share and I really feel like a desert which needs your rain. I am not saying this to excuse the way I acted last few days, or maybe I do I dunno. I need you... Need you more than I can say and more than I am willing to admit at times. I dunno this with men. I find it hard to admit I need someone this bad. It scares me and fears me.

Guess I just give up.

 

[Homburg]

Im still in the early stages of that, and its a struggle. Emerging out of this is an incredibly intuitive 8-year old, who zeroes in on my low points and can pick me back up. Her costume suggestion for me for Halloween was a red cape with an "S" on my chest.

That sounds like a pretty apt costume suggestion, Brad.

 

[bholderman]

Homburg,

Ha ha, thanks. I always had this mantra, "I am married, I am daddy, I am Superman." I always have been a big fan of the original Superman, i.e. 1937 -1941, when he was still a bit of a tough guy.

For some reason, it irritated my wife. I've been able to get this family through some real predicaments, the mantra helped me mentally. As of late, she continues to say, she isnt good enough for me, once the affair was out in the open, some of the things she did were out of spite, to get me to hate her.

Im starting to think she may be jealous of me.

http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/320/superman.gif

 

[the captians wench]

Homburg,

Ha ha, thanks. I always had this mantra, "I am married, I am daddy, I am Superman." I always have been a big fan of the original Superman, i.e. 1937 -1941, when he was still a bit of a tough guy.

For some reason, it irritated my wife. I've been able to get this family through some real predicaments, the mantra helped me mentally. As of late, she continues to say, she isnt good enough for me, once the affair was out in the open, some of the things she did were out of spite, to get me to hate her.

Im starting to think she may be jealous of me.

this was probably my ex's and my biggest issue.

my costumes were going great, I was making friends, I was loosing weight and feeling good about myself, I was doing good in my day job, and I was making a lot of self discoveries. But most of all, I forgave him for something he would never have forgiven me for.

We didn't split because he cheated on me, no that was only the begining of things.

 

[Homburg]

Homburg,

Ha ha, thanks. I always had this mantra, "I am married, I am daddy, I am Superman." I always have been a big fan of the original Superman, i.e. 1937 -1941, when he was still a bit of a tough guy.

For some reason, it irritated my wife. I've been able to get this family through some real predicaments, the mantra helped me mentally. As of late, she continues to say, she isnt good enough for me, once the affair was out in the open, some of the things she did were out of spite, to get me to hate her.

Im starting to think she may be jealous of me.

Sounds reasonable. From the way you were describing things, it did sound like some of the actions were intentional. There's just no way a rational person woul d happen into some of those situations without realising the harm done, and thus being okay with doing said harm. And jealousy makes sense.

What a mess. Just don't lose you cape, bro.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

... I always had this mantra, "I am married, I am daddy, I am Superman." I always have been a big fan of the original Superman, i.e. 1937 -1941, when he was still a bit of a tough guy.

For some reason, it irritated my wife....
Im starting to think she may be jealous of me.

http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/320/superman.gif

In the spirit:

~~ Ya don't tug on Superman's cape... ~~

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

B,

Dont talk like that, please. It doesnt help you. I realize that this is a Dear X thread, but when it comes to the real world, its been explained to me that I simply need to work on myself, improve myself vastly, recover from the trauma and depression and not to pursue the Significant Other. Certainly, if kids are involved there is a requirement for some contact, which in a way is good because it will allow the S.O. to see the changes in you. That doesnt mean use the kids as any kind of tug-rope, simply an opportunity to "show off."

Im still in the early stages of that, and its a struggle. Emerging out of this is an incredibly intuitive 8-year old, who zeroes in on my low points and can pick me back up. Her costume suggestion for me for Halloween was a red cape with an "S" on my chest.

I am trying.

I don't really think I am THAT good, but I am surely not enough to keep P. intrested to stay home with me instead doing other things with other people. I don't like it, never liked it and guess I never will either. It's something I am dealing with almost every day, but then again it was me who picked to stay, so the only thing I really need to learn is just to simply stfu.

It's liveable. It takes one lots of energy, but there are some bright whiles in it as well and as long as theres a bright whiles I am thankful for them. I could never hate P. I can be mad or sad and frusty, I can moan about things which are just my own fault actualy, but I could never say I hate him. That's something what I just dunno no matter how I am treated.

P. arived very late at night yesterday eventho he promised me he'll be back about 10pm he arived about 3am. I wasn't even suprised. We went to bed without a word, actualy I couldn't be even bothered to be mad at him and I wasn't. He's just like that, I know he is. Expect he would act different would be silly of me. He wanted explain me why he came 5 hours later. When I heard his "ya know, one of my friends bla bla bla..." I told him "just sleep ok". And it was closed for me.

I am tired of promises he dunno keep and I am tired of being mad or sad cuz of it as well, so I am just quiet. I am enjoying him when he's around and trying not to think what he does, with who and where when he's gone in the nights and coming back home at morning. He's a good dad to our lil girl and that's what matters to me atm, so I am not demanding anything else on him.

I have found me an outlet from the relationship with P. and as long as I have M. around and am able talk to him I am doing quite fine even if P. acting the way he does. I am no treasure either so...

 

[bholderman]

Perhaps you should try and get a babysitter and get out yourself. Maybe when her realizes you are devloping your own life, his interest will get peaked?

A suggestion.

I am trying.

I don't really think I am THAT good, but I am surely not enough to keep P. intrested to stay home with me instead doing other things with other people. I don't like it, never liked it and guess I never will either. It's something I am dealing with almost every day, but then again it was me who picked to stay, so the only thing I really need to learn is just to simply stfu.

It's liveable. It takes one lots of energy, but there are some bright whiles in it as well and as long as theres a bright whiles I am thankful for them. I could never hate P. I can be mad or sad and frusty, I can moan about things which are just my own fault actualy, but I could never say I hate him. That's something what I just dunno no matter how I am treated.

P. arived very late at night yesterday eventho he promised me he'll be back about 10pm he arived about 3am. I wasn't even suprised. We went to bed without a word, actualy I couldn't be even bothered to be mad at him and I wasn't. He's just like that, I know he is. Expect he would act different would be silly of me. He wanted explain me why he came 5 hours later. When I heard his "ya know, one of my friends bla bla bla..." I told him "just sleep ok". And it was closed for me.

I am tired of promises he dunno keep and I am tired of being mad or sad cuz of it as well, so I am just quiet. I am enjoying him when he's around and trying not to think what he does, with who and where when he's gone in the nights and coming back home at morning. He's a good dad to our lil girl and that's what matters to me atm, so I am not demanding anything else on him.

I have found me an outlet from the relationship with P. and as long as I have M. around and am able talk to him I am doing quite fine even if P. acting the way he does. I am no treasure either so...

 

[pinklypop]

Dear God

Why is everything still going wrong? This place is a pile of shit.

 

[HottieMama]

Dear Universe...

i hate Christmas and all the crappy memories it conjures up. Going to the supermarket for milk this morning and seeing all the displays was just a bit much. Why are there decorations out when it's not even Halloween?

Please...have some mercy on those of us that endure it for our children but would rather fall off the face of the Earth during the holidays each year.

 

[Homburg]

Why are there decorations out when it's not even Halloween? .

Drives. Me. Crazy.

Ugh.

 

[pinklypop]

Dear me,
you're a dick
loves
x

 

[intothewoods]

Dear Universe...

i hate Christmas and all the crappy memories it conjures up. Going to the supermarket for milk this morning and seeing all the displays was just a bit much. Why are there decorations out when it's not even Halloween?

Please...have some mercy on those of us that endure it for our children but would rather fall off the face of the Earth during the holidays each year.

Depending on your religious orientation, you could always create new traditions that don't feel like something you have to endure. I have friends who are atheist, and celebrate winter solstice. Not that there's anything wrong with Christmas. If you love it, whoop it up! But if you hate it...I guess I'm not sure why you'd want to endure it. Just my two cents, but to me it seems like traditions should really have meaning.

Just throwing that thought out there - because my mind is wandering today...