Dear X:

[minx1]

Dear X,

Please don't hate me. You mean an awful lot to me and I am so sorry if I hurt you. I hate myself for that.

You are such a wonderful person.

~L

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Dear X:

FUCK YOU... on second thought may you never get fucked again you sorry ass worthless waste of hummanity... Just pray like a motherfucker that we never cross paths....

oh yeah, and go to fucking hell you sorry ass shitbag

 

[minx1]

Dear x

Don't be scared. You can do it, you know you can.
I know it feels like a leap into the unknown, but its time to make some changes again.
Hell its such an exciting opportunity and you are so lucky to get it...grasp it with both hands and see where it takes you.
Your mum will be fine and your home isn't bricks and mortar, its wherever your happiness and soul reside.

Chance it girlfriend.

Me

 

[HottieMama]

Dear X...

i know life has been a little slice of insanity in the past few days, and i want to thank you for always taking the time to make me feel special and important. i would also like to remind you, if i may, that care and concern isn't a one-way street and that i am here for you if/when you need me. You are very important and special to me, and while i think you know that...it never hurts to be reminded.



Love, nikki

 

[Jezebel77]

Dear Neighbors from Hell,

Please teach your children to not ride their bikes up my driveway while I am backing out.

Please stop collecting shopping carts from the local supermarkets and storing them in your yard.

Please don't leave your toddler outside all alone riding his Little Tikes Racer up and down the sidewalk.

Please don't dump garbage into your trashcan without using a trashbag. I'm tired of picking up all your garbage that somehow either blows out or is dragged out by raccoons and ends up in my yard.

Please teach your children to pick up their toys and not leave them in the middle of my driveway while your family leaves for the day, only to have me slam on my brakes when I get home from work and have to get out and move it instead of just running the bicycle over like I want to.

Please stop parking your car in front of my house and sitting in it all day, its giving me the creeps.

Please stop passing out drunk in the middle of your backyard surrounded by beer cans at 10am, I'm running out of film for my camera.

Please, enough with the domestic disputes at 3am. No we aren't going to open our door and let you in, but we will call the police for you.

Please don't get another little dog to yap all day.

Please stop driving me crazy so that I can stay in my house another year after I'm done with school and I can put a dent in my student loans.

Please stop asking me if I'm a doctor just because I wear scrubs to work, I've told you 3 times "No" and "I can't get you and free drugs".

Please mow your lawn, at least once a month would be nice, if not once a week.

Please stop throwing rocks into our yard, to be discovered by the lawnmower.

Please stop kicking your soccer ball into the side of my car. I'm not talking about the kids, I'm talking about the guys who are living in your basement and who sit out on the deck all day. Maybe they should be mowing instead.

I could go on all day...

Jez

 

[BiBunny]

Dear Jezebel,

Your best revenge is a large chicken house (or hogpen) upwind from them.

~Bunny

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Dear Jezebel,

Your best revenge is a large chicken house (or hogpen) upwind from them.

~Bunny

Revenge is a dish best served aromatically.

Damn woman, remind me not to piss you off...

 

[BiBunny]

Revenge is a dish best served aromatically.

Damn woman, remind me not to piss you off...

Not the first time you've said that. DEFINITELY not the first (or fiftieth) time I've ever heard it, either.

 

[Jezebel77]

Now that's an idea!!

I do find little piglets adorable....stinky, but adorable.

Maybe I can get 15 more cats and just turn my living room into a giant litterbox which I will never clean. I'll set up fans to blow out the windows towards their house.

Unfortunately I don't think if would faze them.

 

[BiBunny]

I do find little piglets adorable....stinky, but adorable.

Maybe I can get 15 more cats and just turn my living room into a giant litterbox which I will never clean. I'll set up fans to blow out the windows towards their house.

Unfortunately I don't think if would faze them.

Too bad. Well, it was worth a shot, I suppose.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

Dear Stupid,

I can't fathom what in the world made me think that you were worth a second of my time. You aren't good enough to clean my toilet. With your tongue no less. But then you'd just leave germs behind doing that. Which would defeat the whole purpose of you "cleaning" it, now wouldn't it?

I truly hope that you do "shoot blanks". Not only should YOU not breed, but the entirety of your family should be sterilized. Such poor genetics should not be allowed to continue. There are too many people on the Earth as it is. I hear the sun is nice and warm. How about you go visit it? Dont' worry about sunscreen. I don't think they've created a high enough SPF for that just yet. Which is fine by me. I hear WalMart has some lovely flip-flops that you might like. Apparently they leave burns on your feet. Too bad they don't make some underwear just your size that would have the same effect. I rather like the idea of gangrene on certain parts of your anatomy. It amuses me greatly.

I suppose I will never have an answer of why I wasted so much of my life due to you. Sure wish I could have that time & money back.

Sincerely,
Velvet

 

[Jezebel77]

BiBunny

It was actually an excellent suggestion.

I have seen a skunk that likes to hang out in their yard at night. I can do some research, see what skunks like to snack on, leave a trail to their basement windows which they leave open all night. That could be interesting. I could tolerate the smell better than them. It would be a nice vacation with them gone for even a few days.

If another shopping cart shows up I may have to take action...

 

[BiBunny]

BiBunny

It was actually an excellent suggestion.

I have seen a skunk that likes to hang out in their yard at night. I can do some research, see what skunks like to snack on, leave a trail to their basement windows which they leave open all night. That could be interesting. I could tolerate the smell better than them. It would be a nice vacation with them gone for even a few days.

If another shopping cart shows up I may have to take action...

Go for it! Just be sure to let us know how it goes, LOL.

 

[DVS]

Please teach your children to not ride their bikes up my driveway while I am backing out.That's scary. I'd talk to the kids themselves. Tell them your eyes aren't as good as they once were and the kid you hit a couple of years ago was dragged under the car for two blocks before you realized he was there.
Please stop collecting shopping carts from the local supermarkets and storing them in your yard.That's theft, isn't it? Do the carts have a store name on them? Call the store. Don't give your name. Ask if they're losing cats and you know where they are. No need to start a used cart lot in your neighborhood. That would require rezoning.
Please don't leave your toddler outside all alone riding his Little Tikes Racer up and down the sidewalk.Now that's just stupid. The way pedophiles are picking up little kids these days...they are just asking for it. About five years ago, a young girl was playing in her front yard in broad daylight and a guy just snatched her out of her front yard. There were other kids watching and yelling. He didn't care.

He got caught a few days later and he's now in jail with no chance or parole. But the little girl is dead.
Please don't dump garbage into your trashcan without using a trashbag. I'm tired of picking up all your garbage that somehow either blows out or is dragged out by raccoons and ends up in my yard.I remember not too long ago my neighbors put out there trash on a windy night. The next morning, my other neighbors had the complete Sunday paper plastered up against their fence, all individual pages. Thank God, I don't have a fenced in front yard.
Please teach your children to pick up their toys and not leave them in the middle of my driveway while your family leaves for the day, only to have me slam on my brakes when I get home from work and have to get out and move it instead of just running the bicycle over like I want to.My driveway is in back of the house, so I don't have that problem. But, for some reason, I do keep finding tennis balls in my back yard. I've found about 10, so far.

Another time, I came home from work to find the trellis on either side of my house broken. Not just one, but BOTH sides of the house. The roof at that point is not very steep. I looked up on the roof and saw a soccer ball. Now I know I can't prove it, but it looks to me like the kids thought the trellis would hold their weight and they could climb up and get their ball.

But, because they broke BOTH of them, they can't come ask me for help getting their ball, because I would know what they did. I never said anything, but I didn't give back their ball, either.
Please stop parking your car in front of my house and sitting in it all day, its giving me the creeps.I agree, that's just creepy. What's the deal with that?
Please stop passing out drunk in the middle of your backyard surrounded by beer cans at 10am, I'm running out of film for my camera.LOL!
Please, enough with the domestic disputes at 3am. No we aren't going to open our door and let you in, but we will call the police for you.Call the cops and complain about the noise. When the cops get there, if one of them is cut or bruised, the other one goes to jail.
Please don't get another little dog to yap all day.I don't have anything to say about that. I feel for you, though. I love all animals, and it isn't the dog's fault. Sometimes, dogs just get put together with stupid, uncaring owners.
Please stop driving me crazy so that I can stay in my house another year after I'm done with school and I can put a dent in my student loans.Hang tough. I don't even talk to my neighbors. I've got my mp3 player blasting every time I go out in the yard, so even if I hear them, I can ignore them.
Please stop asking me if I'm a doctor just because I wear scrubs to work, I've told you 3 times "No" and "I can't get you and free drugs".You can get free drugs? Can you get me some Xanax?
Please mow your lawn, at least once a month would be nice, if not once a week.Toss the rocks back into their yard, when nobody's looking. Let them find the rocks, themselves. Tall grass is a good concealer of rocks. Maybe they will catch on...maybe.
Please stop throwing rocks into our yard, to be discovered by the lawnmower.I don't know what it is with kids, these days. I get the same thing. Once, when another family with kids lived there, I mowed over a rock and it went over and broke a window in their house. I didn't have a problem with rocks, from then on. But, now there's another family with kids living there. And, I don't speak Spanish!
Please stop kicking your soccer ball into the side of my car. I'm not talking about the kids, I'm talking about the guys who are living in your basement and who sit out on the deck all day. Maybe they should be mowing instead.Damn Saturn commercials! It gives people ideas!

I feel for you. Once my neighbor lady died. Her relatives came a few months later and put EVERYTHING she owned in the back yard. EVERYTHING. I don't know the reason, but there was some nice things out there...couch, tables, bed, washer and dryer...you name it, it was there. It all stayed out there for nearly 2 years.

I finally complained to the city codes enforcement people. Shit, it was more difficult than pulling teeth to get them to even come look at the situation. They just want to stay in their air-conditioned office and collect their pay, I guess.

 

[intothewoods]

Please teach your children to not ride their bikes up my driveway while I am backing out.That's scary. I'd talk to the kids themselves. Tell them your eyes aren't as good as they once were and the kid you hit a couple of years ago was dragged under the car for two blocks before you realized he was there.
Please stop collecting shopping carts from the local supermarkets and storing them in your yard.That's theft, isn't it? Do the carts have a store name on them? Call the store. Don't give your name. Ask if they're losing cats and you know where they are. No need to start a used cart lot in your neighborhood. That would require rezoning.
Please don't leave your toddler outside all alone riding his Little Tikes Racer up and down the sidewalk.Now that's just stupid. The way pedophiles are picking up little kids these days...they are just asking for it. About five years ago, a young girl was playing in her front yard in broad daylight and a guy just snatched her out of her front yard. There were other kids watching and yelling. He didn't care.

He got caught a few days later and he's now in jail with no chance or parole. But the little girl is dead.

This stuff scares the bejeezus out of me.

 

[satindesire]

Dear valued customers,

Please tip me well tonight at work. I have rent in less than a week!

 

[Plucky19]

Dear X,

Thank you for being you and for trusting me with you as you are. I cherish that and being a part of your life, as I am honoured to be included in it.

I am with you

 

[Jezebel77]

Dear Transitional Neighborhood,

Would you please transition in the other direction? Maybe to the one that includes the English language and one less 2-flat that is housing 5 children, 9 adults and a tiny dog?

I don't mind the little boy with the "flipper" hand, he helped open my car door and shut it for me like a little gentleman. He can stay, but he has to live with the couple across the street who are out with the leaf blower and power washer as soon as a leaf touches their driveway.

Thank you,
Jez

 

[Life_Noir]

BiBunny

It was actually an excellent suggestion.

I have seen a skunk that likes to hang out in their yard at night. I can do some research, see what skunks like to snack on, leave a trail to their basement windows which they leave open all night. That could be interesting. I could tolerate the smell better than them. It would be a nice vacation with them gone for even a few days.

If another shopping cart shows up I may have to take action...

Of course...far be it from me to suggest anything antisocial.. Or Vengful..
But "skunk scent" is available from a variety of commercial enterprises that cater to deer hunters... As are some other, less palatable, scents..

Hmmm I don't remember the actual chemical that causes that smell...Try Googling... Lessee... Heyduke... as a name.. "His" books are *grin* Interesting and useful.

 

[JupitersGirl]

Dear Mr. Sandman,

Why is it that when I don't want or need to be sleepy -- like in the early- to mid-afternoon hours -- you're always around tempting me to slip under the covers and snooze for an hour or two, but when I *do* want/need to go to sleep, around midnight (my time), you're off at the bars watching sports and copping feels on the cute waitress? Sheesh, man, either do your job right -- it's NOT that freakin' hard! -- or get a real job and turn this one over to someone who *will!*

Sincerely,

A tired but decidedly not sleepy Sir Winston, who can't even get to sleep tonight with the help of bourbon, vicodin *and* melatonin!

Boy, do I feel for ya!

I have just started this cycle and it's exhausting and makes me feel like I have sand underneath my eyelids. Mr. Sandman needs to go back to school for a refresher course.

Haven't tried the medication yet, but melatonin is on my shopping list for after work today .... IF I can stay awake then. Grrrr ....

 

[Life_Noir]

Of course...far be it from me to suggest anything antisocial.. Or Vengful..
But "skunk scent" is available from a variety of commercial enterprises that cater to deer hunters... As are some other, less palatable, scents..

Hmmm I don't remember the actual chemical that causes that smell...Try Googling... Lessee... Heyduke... as a name.. "His" books are *grin* Interesting and useful.

butyl mercaptan

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

Dear X:

I miss you so much. More than you can imagine.

Ivy

 

[Blkhearted_Rube]

Dear X,

My first day on Lit and I run into you (or you find me). How can I say this but "wow"? I hope the conversation continues.

Rube

 

[northwoods_sub]

Dear X,
Please stay out of my dreams. I gave myself to you with all that I had and you just walked away so why do you have to come to me in my dreams? It isn't fair.
After years of friendship I finally gave you what you had desired and it didn't mean anything to you. It hurt so much..... I just want to move on and not have to think of you but somehow you end up in my dreams and it is lovely there, we are happy there. Just leave me to my life please as I know I have left you to yours.
Next month we will see each other again and I want to show you that I don't need or want you anymore so just stay away til then so that I can be strong when that day comes.
Please?

 

[Jezebel77]

butyl mercaptan

Ah, yes. That brings back wonderful memories of organic chemistry lab.