....sexual spiritual truths...
To those at Lit who honestly share their hearts, passions, humor, and lust:
Thank-you courageous ones at Lit for sharing your hearts, your passions, your humor, and your lust.
Sincerely,
Kat
PS. If I am off the deep end here, I pray I am put in the D/s room when I am sent to hell…
lol
To those at Lit who honestly share their hearts, passions, humor, and lust:
I have been having difficulty resolving the spiritual aspects of who I am and these new intense feelings of desire, of submission, of passion, and of raw lust. Your postings and threads helped me gain the courage to listen and hear my Father's voice in an area, that until very recently, would have been obscene for me.
It is not my intention to offend, sound arrogant, or be "preachy" in what I have written below. These are simply my sexual spiritual truths I have discovered so far. I do not believe my dilemma is unique to me. So I post, hoping that it may help another have courage to seek his or her own truths in the spiritual realm, be it with God, Mother Earth, Gods, Goddesses, or a Higher Power.
God has met my needs and desires in many ways over the past 20 years. Not miraculously, but generally through a process that has been both enlightening and satisfying to me. But in this newly awakened area of submission, it did not seem possible. Yet, if He was real and if His character remained true, He would meet the needs and desires I have. It’s just the way He is with me. So now, in the wake of these new raw desires to submit and intense sexual needs, what was I going to do? Masturbate with Jesus?
I took the risk and asked Him...then listened...and watched for the bolt of lightening that would surely strike me dead for even considering it.
To my amazement, I was not a pile of charred ashes. So, I calmed myself and listened for His voice. Slowly, I became aware that I had been focusing on the lust and the sexual acts of submission, rather than the mental and emotional aspects surrounding them. I was aware of these, just not focusing on them.
I like being in the presence of Jesus, of my Father, of my God, feeling safe, loved and yet feeling His omnipotent, terrifying power...His presence.
I like that He gives me free will to choose the steps I take, and yet somehow pulls me back if I wander to far from Him.
I know what it is to feel my Savior's hand upon my cheek, wiping away my tears.
I know what it is like to have Him walking beside me through the valley of the shadow of death.
I know what it is like to feel his joy for me as I realized I was precious and amazing and created for a purpose.
I know the strength He gives me to be true to myself.
I know what it is to stand in the face of my enemy and feel Him rising up within me, giving me courage to stand firm and not cower or run away from one that is intent on destroying me.
I know I have felt Him carry me when I have been to weary to walk.
I know that He will never turn His face from me in shame or disgust.
I know that He is in my heart, my mind, and my soul forever.
I know that when I gave Him my will and every part of me, not out of fear, but out of willingness to serve Him, that He cherishes and honors me for it.
I know His discipline leaves me desiring Him more and trusting Him greater.
I submit to Him...His wisdom...His power....His discipline. These are the things my passion encompasses. The relationship and sexual acts with a man, a Dom, some day will be walking out the passion I have for my Master. No different then walking in the truth of my relationship with Christ, honoring Him and becoming what He created me to be every day of my life. I can not separate myself from the love of Christ. This I desire to have with my Dom...
I believe that my recent awakening of sub feelings has taken my relationship with Christ to a deeper, more intimate level. I trust Him now with my sexuality...my passions...and yes even my lust. I am no longer afraid that the desire for a Dom will override my relationship with Christ, it will only enhance it...and teach me how to respect, trust, submit, and possibly love a man in the inherent way I was intended. It has also given me a starting place to know the character of a man that can dominate me with respect and honor for who I am.
It is not my intention to offend, sound arrogant, or be "preachy" in what I have written below. These are simply my sexual spiritual truths I have discovered so far. I do not believe my dilemma is unique to me. So I post, hoping that it may help another have courage to seek his or her own truths in the spiritual realm, be it with God, Mother Earth, Gods, Goddesses, or a Higher Power.
God has met my needs and desires in many ways over the past 20 years. Not miraculously, but generally through a process that has been both enlightening and satisfying to me. But in this newly awakened area of submission, it did not seem possible. Yet, if He was real and if His character remained true, He would meet the needs and desires I have. It’s just the way He is with me. So now, in the wake of these new raw desires to submit and intense sexual needs, what was I going to do? Masturbate with Jesus?
I took the risk and asked Him...then listened...and watched for the bolt of lightening that would surely strike me dead for even considering it.
To my amazement, I was not a pile of charred ashes. So, I calmed myself and listened for His voice. Slowly, I became aware that I had been focusing on the lust and the sexual acts of submission, rather than the mental and emotional aspects surrounding them. I was aware of these, just not focusing on them.
I like being in the presence of Jesus, of my Father, of my God, feeling safe, loved and yet feeling His omnipotent, terrifying power...His presence.
I like that He gives me free will to choose the steps I take, and yet somehow pulls me back if I wander to far from Him.
I know what it is to feel my Savior's hand upon my cheek, wiping away my tears.
I know what it is like to have Him walking beside me through the valley of the shadow of death.
I know what it is like to feel his joy for me as I realized I was precious and amazing and created for a purpose.
I know the strength He gives me to be true to myself.
I know what it is to stand in the face of my enemy and feel Him rising up within me, giving me courage to stand firm and not cower or run away from one that is intent on destroying me.
I know I have felt Him carry me when I have been to weary to walk.
I know that He will never turn His face from me in shame or disgust.
I know that He is in my heart, my mind, and my soul forever.
I know that when I gave Him my will and every part of me, not out of fear, but out of willingness to serve Him, that He cherishes and honors me for it.
I know His discipline leaves me desiring Him more and trusting Him greater.
I submit to Him...His wisdom...His power....His discipline. These are the things my passion encompasses. The relationship and sexual acts with a man, a Dom, some day will be walking out the passion I have for my Master. No different then walking in the truth of my relationship with Christ, honoring Him and becoming what He created me to be every day of my life. I can not separate myself from the love of Christ. This I desire to have with my Dom...
I believe that my recent awakening of sub feelings has taken my relationship with Christ to a deeper, more intimate level. I trust Him now with my sexuality...my passions...and yes even my lust. I am no longer afraid that the desire for a Dom will override my relationship with Christ, it will only enhance it...and teach me how to respect, trust, submit, and possibly love a man in the inherent way I was intended. It has also given me a starting place to know the character of a man that can dominate me with respect and honor for who I am.
Thank-you courageous ones at Lit for sharing your hearts, your passions, your humor, and your lust.
Sincerely,
Kat
PS. If I am off the deep end here, I pray I am put in the D/s room when I am sent to hell…
lol
