Dear X:

[MrsDeathlynx]

Dear House,
Stop shitting on us, get your fucking act together. We have enough shit to deal with without you bursting a damn pipe or making the furnace act up. Lighten up, give us a god damn break already...

Me

 

[glynndah]

Dear Whomever;

I'm tired of being sick. All the fun is gone. Can I please feel better soon?

Sincerely,

The good little witch

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Dear G

I miss nurturing and protecting you with my body. I miss having the drive and passion to fight with everything I have, and everything I am, for what matters most. I miss knowing that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I miss loving completely. But mostly, I miss knowing what you would be like tomorrow.

"What ifs" are ok. Today I'm sitting with a heavy beautiful "what if". Let's call tomorrow your "what if" birthday. Happy Birthday, my Baby. I love you.

Your Mommy

 

[bluebell]

Dear Floor,

I know you need vacuuming and a Cinderella-Scrub, but I've been forced to take desperate action. I hereby banish my Guilty Floor Thoughts for the rest of the week (or at least until the weekend).
If they should happen to crop up again, I will immediately begin to contemplate the eternal ramifications of fluffy rainbow pipe-cleaners.

Sincerely,

My feet, hands, and brain. Oh, and my guilty conscience.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Dear Floor,

I know you need vacuuming and a Cinderella-Scrub, but I've been forced to take desperate action. I hereby banish my Guilty Floor Thoughts for the rest of the week (or at least until the weekend).
If they should happen to crop up again, I will immediately begin to contemplate the eternal ramifications of fluffy rainbow pipe-cleaners.

Sincerely,

My feet, hands, and brain. Oh, and my guilty conscience.

Ditto!

 

[SeaCat]

Dear Floor,

I know you need vacuuming and a Cinderella-Scrub, but I've been forced to take desperate action. I hereby banish my Guilty Floor Thoughts for the rest of the week (or at least until the weekend).
If they should happen to crop up again, I will immediately begin to contemplate the eternal ramifications of fluffy rainbow pipe-cleaners.

Sincerely,

My feet, hands, and brain. Oh, and my guilty conscience.

Just name the Fluff Bunnies and allow them to multiply. After a short time they will have grown and multiplied enough that when you sweep them up they will also mop your floor for you.

Cat

 

[MagicaPractica]

Just name the Fluff Bunnies and allow them to multiply. After a short time they will have grown and multiplied enough that when you sweep them up they will also mop your floor for you.

Cat

I'm a little worried they might eat the kittens at my house though.

 

[slyc_willie]

Dear Kimberly;

You are a very sweet little girl. Probably the most well-behaved nine-year-old I have ever met. I can see why your parents are proud of you. Looking into your eyes, I can see a very mature and smart woman just waiting to grow up.

However, once you are, as you said, 'old enough,' I'm very, very sorry, but you probably wouldn't want to marry me.

It was a touching thing to say, though.



Sincerely,
Your 'favoritest' waiter

 

[SeaCat]

I'm a little worried they might eat the kittens at my house though.

Well considering my kittens think a Palmetto Bug is great fun to attack and kill, I don't think I have to worry about it.

Cat

 

[impressive]

Dear K-Y,

I like the warming gel. A lot.

Thx.

~ Imp

 

[Guest]

Dear G

I miss nurturing and protecting you with my body. I miss having the drive and passion to fight with everything I have, and everything I am, for what matters most. I miss knowing that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I miss loving completely. But mostly, I miss knowing what you would be like tomorrow.

"What ifs" are ok. Today I'm sitting with a heavy beautiful "what if". Let's call tomorrow your "what if" birthday. Happy Birthday, my Baby. I love you.

Your Mommy

 

[Guest]

Dear Katyusha

Thank you

Liz

*huggles for ElizebethT*

Dear DL and Mrs. DL

Thank you.. and I wish the best for your bairn.

Liz

 

[Guest]

Dear J,

I have never been as hurt by a 'man' in my life. Sure some of done some damage but to have you sit there and tell me that you now want a paternity test to 'make sure that its yours' is just simply more then my heart can handle. I am so sorry that you don't trust anyone and I am even sorrier that you don't trust me. Your wish simply tells me what you think of me and all of our friends even said "WTF is he calling you a whore/slut/loose women?" I will never forgive you for this pain... the one right now... the one that came to be from your hateful request.

H

 

[Last_Rider]

To the People who come through my check-out line at work:


I really don't care. I might smile, I might nod or make small talk, but I really don't care. I'm sure you're all nice people with interesting stories and good hearts, but really, there are five people in line behind you, I don't care, shut up, and move along.
Further more, the price on the computer is right 98% of the time, and if it's wrong the difference is totally negligible, please don't make me walk around for five minutes validating your idiocy and wasting my time. I assure you, I have better things to do, and I sincerely hope you do as well.

My thanks for your consideration,
Rider


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my former Employer, K-Mart:

You are responsible for the single worst 6 month stretch of my existence thus far. I'm sure there's some kind of award for that, and doubtless you'd probably trumpet your success the infinitely small percentage of people who actually find you relevant, so I'm not giving you the award. I'd also like to say to all of my "superiors" there, you are the largest cess pool of filth, the lowest dregs of society, and the most self-serving, narcissistic, short-sighted bunch of scumbags God has seen fit to drop on this planet. If there's any sense of justice in this life or the next, your eternities will be spent with you scrubbing floors and stocking shelves with pompus morons directing you in obviously erroneous work.

sincerely,
Rider

 

[Vermilion]

Dear Teeth,

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.
WTF?
STOPPIT!

x
V

-----------------------------------------

Dear Dentist,

Please call back soon. And when you call back please tell me it's temporary, short-term and will fix itself. No painful treatment, no more money to spend.

x
V

-------------------------------------------

Dear Fiance,

Thank you. Now go to work so I can finish your Valentine's biscuits!

x
V

---------------------------------------------

Dear Literoticans,

Thank you ever so much for voting for me for Valentine's day. It gave me the confidence I needed to take the next big step in my writing 'career' and it means a lot that it came form you guys.

I hope you all have a very happy Valentine's day
x
V

 

[Chantilyvamp]

Dear J,

I have never been as hurt by a 'man' in my life. Sure some of done some damage but to have you sit there and tell me that you now want a paternity test to 'make sure that its yours' is just simply more then my heart can handle. I am so sorry that you don't trust anyone and I am even sorrier that you don't trust me. Your wish simply tells me what you think of me and all of our friends even said "WTF is he calling you a whore/slut/loose women?" I will never forgive you for this pain... the one right now... the one that came to be from your hateful request.

H

*hugs you loads* Right now darlin I'd gladly slap him silly for you!

 

[impressive]

Dear Self,

It's not in there. Look elsewhere or stop looking altogether.

~ Imp

 

[SensualCealy]

Dear Self,

It's not in there. Look elsewhere or stop looking altogether.

~ Imp

If you stop looking you will never know where it was in the first place-right?

Need an extra set of eyes?

Some times it's at the least expected spot...
Good luck with your search
C

 

[SensualCealy]

Dear J,

I have never been as hurt by a 'man' in my life. Sure some of done some damage but to have you sit there and tell me that you now want a paternity test to 'make sure that its yours' is just simply more then my heart can handle. I am so sorry that you don't trust anyone and I am even sorrier that you don't trust me. Your wish simply tells me what you think of me and all of our friends even said "WTF is he calling you a whore/slut/loose women?" I will never forgive you for this pain... the one right now... the one that came to be from your hateful request.

H

He isn't questioning the paternity, he is trying to get away with not having to be responsible for this little one. Tell him you will get a paternity test, but since you KNOW who the father is if he wants it he can pay for it!! Simple as that!!

Other wise, put him on the birth certificate and let the dice fall where they may!!

You know Im here if you need someone!
C

 

[Tarakin]

Dear J,

I have never been as hurt by a 'man' in my life. Sure some of done some damage but to have you sit there and tell me that you now want a paternity test to 'make sure that its yours' is just simply more then my heart can handle. I am so sorry that you don't trust anyone and I am even sorrier that you don't trust me. Your wish simply tells me what you think of me and all of our friends even said "WTF is he calling you a whore/slut/loose women?" I will never forgive you for this pain... the one right now... the one that came to be from your hateful request.

H

* Hugs *

 

[Vermilion]

Dear Dentist,

Thankyou.
I will do that and let's hope I don't have to get in touch until my regular check-up, yes?
x
V

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Dear Snow:

You're beautiful. I do love you, truly I do.

However. I would appreciate a small reprieve until we can get the tractor and snowplow home. The-Impossibly-Long-Gravel-Driveway is just too much for anyone to clear with a shovel and a snowblower, k?

Deal?

 

[Katyusha]

Dear Self,

You fucked up. Figure out what you want so you can make it right once and for all. DON'T fuck up again.

--Me

 

[bluebell]

Just name the Fluff Bunnies and allow them to multiply. After a short time they will have grown and multiplied enough that when you sweep them up they will also mop your floor for you.

Cat

*laugh* I thought you were going to say you could use the Fluff Bunnies to grow cats to mop the floors for you.

----

Dear Magica,

We can form a liberation front for captives of undone housework and the ensuing Guilty Guilty Thoughts.

-----

Al,
(no one at Lit)

I swear to carrots you did that on purpose. You are a shameless scamp, after all. And now Lisa's going to be grinning at me like the Cheshire Cat all night.
Holy kumquats, Batman. *shakes head*

- Me

 

[Tarakin]

Dear Self,

You fucked up. Figure out what you want so you can make it right once and for all. DON'T fuck up again.

--Me

* Hugs *