Dear Neci,

[neci]

post your questions here. i will answer when i have the time. i fucking love write in questions, so ask away. all your issues and problems.

 

[spacekowboy]

Dearest neci,

Why you never show me your luscious knockers on the interwebs anymore?

Warmest regards,
spacepervboy.

Ps. Holla at ya boy sometime.Its been a minute. (titties optional, truly)

 

[Brains_N_Boobs]

Dear neci,

Please show us some Ball-Love!

 

[girlsmiley]

Neci. I ventured out to the garden today. I haven’t really felt like gardening lately, but weeds depress me.

Found a fully-grown redback bitch spider on a shit leaf on my sliverbeet. Fully grown. She was a big bitch. So I called my usually gung-ho cat “insect killer”, and he wouldn’t have a bar of her. The pussy.

My boy will attack rats and mice and birds and cockroaches and flies and beetles, but he wasn’t there for me for this spider. Coward!

I’m sick of my cats not having my back when I need them. I spend a million dollars on them a year and when I need their help they fucking ignore me.

Also, my neighbour with his fucking power tools. Mate, do your power tools but sound proof the cunt if you’re gonna power tool at 9pm. Had to bang on his garage and tell him to shut the fuck up, the flop.

What’s going on in the world? Do people not care anymore? I’m sick of these cunts. My cats are smart and the don’t fuck with poisonous spiders, but my neighbour? Cunt mows his lawns at 8pm on a Sunday and wants to cut logs at 9pm.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

How's your Stude???

 

[FataMorgana]

Dear Neville (neci on autocorrect)

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

Love Fats (Fata on autopilot) ((autocorrect on autocorrect))

Ps. I'm high on Jaffa Cakes

Pps. I still think of you when I see my conifers at night. Cunt. (autocorrect never corrects this word which is comforting)

 

[raindancer]

Dear Neci,
Would you be opposed to sweaty humping after digging in the dirt for hours? Asking for a friend.

 

[spacekowboy]

Sweet Jesus... I'll be in my bunk.

 

[FataMorgana]

Sweet Jesus... I'll be in my bunk.

What if the three of us mash our vulvas together as a February treat for you?

We'd sound like we were wrestling squids.

 

[stickygirl]

What if the three of us mash our vulvas together as a February treat for you?

We'd sound like we were wrestling squids.

There's always some fucker brings an axe to a squid wrestling party

 

[FataMorgana]

There's always some fucker brings an axe to a squid wrestling party

None of those bastards at this party. No squelching will be compromised.*


* I just made a squelching noise (with me gob not me minge) and Pip shot off the settee. Bet that ginger fuck has gone for an axe.

 

[thør]

This fantasy is taking a turn.......

 

[FataMorgana]

I love how our Sticky Wicket has given it a violent edge.

 

[spacekowboy]

What if the three of us mash our vulvas together as a February treat for you?

We'd sound like we were wrestling squids.

This could be just the thing to ease my depression.

 

[spacekowboy]

And if that doesn't work, bring an axe.

 

[neci]

It’s all my favorite people!

 

[neci]

Dearest neci,

Why you never show me your luscious knockers on the interwebs anymore?

Warmest regards,
spacepervboy.

Ps. Holla at ya boy sometime.Its been a minute. (titties optional, truly)

dearest spacekowboy,

the tits have retired. new meds lowered the exhibitionist drive. be grateful for when you had them. nothing good lasts forever in the cold february rain.

holla!

neci

 

[neci]

Neci. I ventured out to the garden today. I haven’t really felt like gardening lately, but weeds depress me.

Found a fully-grown redback bitch spider on a shit leaf on my sliverbeet. Fully grown. She was a big bitch. So I called my usually gung-ho cat “insect killer”, and he wouldn’t have a bar of her. The pussy.

My boy will attack rats and mice and birds and cockroaches and flies and beetles, but he wasn’t there for me for this spider. Coward!

I’m sick of my cats not having my back when I need them. I spend a million dollars on them a year and when I need their help they fucking ignore me.

Also, my neighbour with his fucking power tools. Mate, do your power tools but sound proof the cunt if you’re gonna power tool at 9pm. Had to bang on his garage and tell him to shut the fuck up, the flop.

What’s going on in the world? Do people not care anymore? I’m sick of these cunts. My cats are smart and the don’t fuck with poisonous spiders, but my neighbour? Cunt mows his lawns at 8pm on a Sunday and wants to cut logs at 9pm.

dear smiley,

burn the spider and the cunts. the cats is smart, oh so smart. never fuck with a redback spider. state side we call them black widows. they are the worst of the worst. i would recommend getting a pack of guinea hens. they will fuck some spiders up, protect your property, and can be turned loose on your neighbors when he is being a cunt. highly territorial bastards, but they will love you if you are the momma. also, have you considered putting sugar in the lawnmower? maybe some high powered flood lights you can shine in his windows at 5am.

revenge is a dish best served early,

neci

 

[neci]

Dear Neville (neci on autocorrect)

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

Love Fats (Fata on autopilot) ((autocorrect on autocorrect))

Ps. I'm high on Jaffa Cakes

Pps. I still think of you when I see my conifers at night. Cunt. (autocorrect never corrects this word which is comforting)

dear data,

i would most definitely hold it against you, as long as you smash your jaffa cakes into me and smear that chocolate lay jam all over my nethers. say hi to your conifers for me. i am planting trees hopefully this spring, but no conifers. they are related to the cedar, and cedar fucks up my allergies.

lets do tea,

neci

 

[neci]

Dear Neci,
Would you be opposed to sweaty humping after digging in the dirt for hours? Asking for a friend.

dear rainy,
how about i take you down to the river, and we go for a dip? i am all for sweaty, dirty humping, as long as we stay hydrated.
love,
neci

 

[neci]

There's always some fucker brings an axe to a squid wrestling party

i bet he’s out there after 9pm with that axe. fucker.

 

[spacekowboy]

dearest spacekowboy,

the tits have retired. new meds lowered the exhibitionist drive. be grateful for when you had them. nothing good lasts forever in the cold february rain.

holla!

neci

Dear neci,

Allow me to apologize for seeming ungrateful. Quite the opposite is the truth of the matter. What I intended as silliness obviously backfired.
Feel free to chastise me further in private if you feel it necessary.

 

[islandman]

Dear neci -

Your avatar looks like a tongue about to lick a cunt.

More a statement than a question.

 

[Not Normal]

Dear Neci,

It's nice to see you and I hope you're well. What have you been cooking lately?

 

[neci]

Dear neci,

Allow me to apologize for seeming ungrateful. Quite the opposite is the truth of the matter. What I intended as silliness obviously backfired.
Feel free to chastise me further in private if you feel it necessary.

dear spaceballs,

no harm, no foul. i prefer public humiliation. bend over and spread your legs wide.

always,

neci