Dear Litster... (continued)

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Dating Tips* From Trekka: Blow job is totally first date material. Sure bet for securing a second date.

*follow at your own risk

My last relationship went like this...

First date: coffee hang out, make sure she's cool. Fpund out she was indeed cool. Goodnight make out session.
Second date: Recieved a text the next day: "want to come over and watch a movie?" which turned into a total hump fest. Including oral exchanges on the couch.

We never did butt stuff. She wasn't into it. Which I was okay with.
 
My last relationship went like this...

First date: coffee hang out, make sure she's cool. Fpund out she was indeed cool. Goodnight make out session.
Second date: Recieved a text the next day: "want to come over and watch a movie?" which turned into a total hump fest. Including oral exchanges on the couch.

We never did butt stuff. She wasn't into it. Which I was okay with.

Damn. This sounds so familiar. Mike??
 
My last relationship went like this...

First date: coffee hang out, make sure she's cool. Fpund out she was indeed cool. Goodnight make out session.
Second date: Recieved a text the next day: "want to come over and watch a movie?" which turned into a total hump fest. Including oral exchanges on the couch.

We never did butt stuff. She wasn't into it. Which I was okay with.
Date 3...yup another crazy one ;)

Hey sweet cheeks hope all is well.
 
Dear Listser A,

I hope you're keeping your head above water today. You're missed on the threads, but it's been a rough few days for you. Take your time.


Dear Listser B,

I'm not a Libertarian. Please return my wallet. :D
 
Dear Lit Police Commissioner:

Now that you're the police of the Lit police, please hold a press conference. The Lit police need to know exactly what they can and cannot say on certain threads, including personals, according to you. I'd like an exclusive on this story.

Sincerely,

Investigative journalist for Lit Breaking News
 
Dearest Litster

I am ever so grateful to you for lending me an ear, your strength so that I could rise above and pass it on to someone else who needs it far more than I in this moment. For checking on me even though I know how busy you are. For making me laugh when I wanted to cry. For helping me keep my head above water. For listening, for caring, for letting me confide in you and you in me. I am honored to have such a friend as you.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Litster ❤
 
Dearest Imaginary Friend,

What gives you the right to disappear and then pop into my email like nothing happened?

Go the fuck away. You've already ruined the internet for me. Can't you just disappear for good so I can forget what it was like when I thought I was loved?

Sincerely,
Holding on to my Pride
 
Dear Lit Police Commissioner:

Now that you're the police of the Lit police, please hold a press conference. The Lit police need to know exactly what they can and cannot say on certain threads, including personals, according to you. I'd like an exclusive on this story.

Sincerely,

Investigative journalist for Lit Breaking News

I'd like to attend that press conference...
I am personally mystified...

Thank you Investigative Journalist. I'll be staying tuned.

Confused Litster with a head for consistency
 
Dear E&E Litster,

Thanks for your sunny self.
Love my girls!

Love,
Not so secret boobie looker Litster
 
Dear Litster

Don't send a three paragraph pm asking personal questions and then get a pissy attitude when I tell you I'm not going to answer them. At least I took the time to reply. Send the same questionnaire to a few more people and let me know what you get.

Sincerely
Ain't nobody got time for that
 
To my poet,

You are amazing. I haven't laughed like that in a while. I REALLY needed that.

:kiss:

:heart:,

One who loves your brain (in a nonfoodie sort of way haha ;) )
 
Dear Litsters,

Happy Sunday! Smile. Wiggle. Dance. Jiggle. Enjoy it!

Sincerely,

Amalgapervykentverbs
 
Fool,

Well, get in there! We are posting boobs and water snakes!

Fondly,

Buzzed.

Dear Buzzed,

Now I am picturing breasts with anaconda's crawling all over them. This will haunt me. Thanks for that.

-Sickly
 
Dear Chatty Peeps,

Tomorrow I will bring extra knickers.

Or not wear any.

Signed,
Likes Packages Litster :devil:
 
Dear Litster...

I don't think you have any idea how much you wind me up!

Signed
Off to chill out Litster.
 
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