dear laurel

[Fata Morgana]

Dear Laurel

This broke my heart:

For a Dying Tomcat Who’s Relinquished His Former Hissing and Predatory Nature

I remember the long orange carp you once scooped
from the neighbor’s pond, bounding beyond
her swung broom, across summer lawns

to lay the fish on my stoop. Thanks
for that. I’m not one to whom offerings
often get made. You let me feel

how Christ might when I kneel,
weeping in the dark
over the usual maladies: love and its lack.

Only in tears do I speak
directly to him and with such
conviction. And only once you grew frail

did you finally slacken into me,
dozing against my ribs like a child.
You gave up the predatory flinch

that snapped the necks of so many
birds and slow-moving rodents.
Now your once powerful jaw

is malformed by black malignancies.
It hurts to eat. So you surrender in the way
I pray for: Lord, before my own death,

let me learn from this animal’s deep release
into my arms. Let me cease to fear
the embrace that seeks to still me.

Mary Karr

 

[RobDownSouth]

Dear Laurel,

Any tan lines yet?

Respectfully,
BurnedDownSouth

 

[glynndah]

Dear Laurel,

Now that I've opened up this reply, I can't think of anything to say. Please edit this and insert something terribly witty. If you could make it a bit suggestive that would be even better. Maybe with a picture...

Sincerely,

the "This place really needs a girlie font" good little witch.

 

[islandman]

Dear Laurel,

Fata's crush on me is getting to be a bit much. In an attempt to drive her off once and for all, I shall only be nice to her henceforth.


Yours in reverse psychology,

I-man

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Laurel,

I have yet to see Brokeback Mountain, though I want to. Is it really wonderful as the press it got?

Birding generally means looking at them, but if being naked in the woods with me makes you hungry, we can roast them and eat them, too.

Love and lust,

P

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear islandman,

There are two beds in this hotel room, so we don't have to spoon. I'll move the gear disaster off the other bed if you like. However, it's shitty out there, so I'm not actually birding, I'm just lying on my ass watching cop dramas on TV and eating Cheetos.

Like,

P

PS It's not that I mind hiking in the rain; I kinda like it. It's that the data doesn't count if it's raining at the time of the observation. Field biology tries hard to be a hard science.

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Perg,

I like Cheetos, but haven't had any in years.

Sad and Hungry,
Lorilei

 

[Mischka]

Dear Perg,

Don't tell me that! I'm hoping to annoy him.

As for what you should do - take islandman out with you and enjoy a nice non-homosexual bit of male bonding. Unless you find you're into each other - in which case, go for it. "Hike gay" is like "prison gay" - it doesn't count.

Love,

Laurel

Dear Laurel,

Except that if this glorious bit of "hike gay" does occur, a story needs to be written up, stat. I've been fanning myself over the LGBT "first blow job" thread. I want more fuel for my fire.

Incendiarily yours,

M

Dear Lovetoread,

I have never been to a Lit-together. I have met Xander, Dixon Carter Lee, Uncle Bill, Dillinger, Problem Child, TN_Vixen, Pyper, and RisiaSkye, but I met them all separately.

Love,

Laurel

Dearest Kitty Mama, part deaux, with PS to LTR,

Impressive list; I want to meet all of them! (PC: RIP, sigh.) I went to the Lit-together in Austin, so many years ago. GravyRug and Radiohead were in attendance, as were many others who no longer post (and several whose names have faded from memory, I confess). I've also met Modest Mouse, Never, InternationalFunBoy, Dr. OliverKlozoff. And I brought lavender to Lit. My, thinking about it, I've met more than I realized.

I'm up for another Lit-together, in Texas. It would be amusing to see the brash blustery political types tone it down and act all civil in person.

Cheers,

M

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Lori,

First, I want you to know, seriously, that you are one of my very favorite online peeps. You're gentle, generous, decent in interactions, never an asshole, and generally sweet and loveable. And you're a lot smarter than you play. I know this.

Second, Cheetos are widely available. Please buy yourself a bag of them and post pics of your orange fingers and tongue. And tits, please post pics of your tits so I can objectify you and completely belie my aforementioned nice guy nonsense.

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Lori,

First, I want you to know, seriously, that you are one of my very favorite online peeps. You're gentle, generous, decent in interactions, never an asshole, and generally sweet and loveable. And you're a lot smarter than you play. I know this.

Second, Cheetos are widely available. Please buy yourself a bag of them and post pics of your orange fingers and tongue. And tits, please post pics of your tits so I can objectify you and completely belie my aforementioned nice guy nonsense.

Dear Perg,

You take that back! I am so an asshole. Just ask julybaby or vatass.

Also, since I am a modern self-reliant woman, I went to the store and bought some Cheetos. Which is a good thing, since we just had a bigass thunderboomer and the power's out, so I might not get any dinner.

Love,
Orange Fingertips

p.s. Thank you. :lips:

 

[Peregrinator]

So, no tits, huh?

 

[Lorilei]

So, no tits, huh?

Eh. I posted some in the tits thread. Can't do it from my tablet.

 

[lovetoread]

Dear Laurel,

I'm officially on vacation. Please send someone to sex me up.

Love,
LTR

 

[Disgustipated]

Dear Lori,

Please get a bag of flaming hot Cheetos mix. You will thank me.

Luk

 

[Peregrinator]

Orange fingers and tongue!

 

[Peregrinator]

Fuck that flaming hot stuff. Useless, unsubtle application of capsaicin is pointless.

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Kyle,

This thread was down there with the irrelevant ones.

Like,

Perg

 

[glynndah]

Dear Kyle,

This thread was down there with the irrelevant ones.

Like,

Perg

Dear Perg,

The GB has irrelevant threads? Who knew?

Sincerely,

the ever-amazed good little witch.

 

[Laurel]

Dear Fata,

That broke mine, too.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Rob,

Not in my future.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear glynndah,

[witty response]



Love,

Laurel

*

Dear islandman,

Good try! Let me know if it works for you. I've been trying the direct approach and she's been coy.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Perg,

It was alright. If it were switched to a heterosexual couple with everything else the same, it would be rather drawn out and dull romance movie.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Mischka,

I agree on the story. Hopefully we'll get the goods post-"hike".

Love,

Laurel

P.S. Your list is impressive as well! (If that sound like a come-on, it's only because it is.)

*

Dear lovetoread,

On my way.

Love,

Laurel

 

[Debbie]

Dear Laurel,

I read this

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/blogs/four-legs-good/8850674/Whats-on-a-cats-mind

and smiled.

Love Debbie

P.S My spoilt cat is being a brat.
It's my own fault and I except that.
Can you have a word with him about not walking all over me when I'm sleeping?

Thanks.

 

[blackleggings]

Dear Laurel,

Please take me to a Prometheia festival. We can wear togas together.

Yours with cute gold sandals,
blackleggings

 

[islandman]

Dear Laurel and other women,

Please remember that when you ask the men in your lives to jump out of bed bleary-eyed to take care of something, you take into account a certain part of the male anatomy that has a mind of its own for about 10-20 minutes.

This is especially relevant for when you have guests in the house.


Yours in inadvertently flashing others ,

islandman

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Laurel,

Then never mind. A chick flick about gay men is still a chick flick.

Love,

P

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Kyle, GB ladies and queer men,

Stop mentally picturing islandman's morning wood.

Love,

P

 

[lovetoread]

Dear Laurel,

I now have Imans morning wood in my thoughts. Please help.

Also,I slept till 9:30, yippee for me.

Happy Saturday to All!

Love,
LTR