Dear Clowns

[availableslave2u]

dear clowns,
do you think we'll ever live in a world where the reason the chicken crossed the road is not questioned?
fighting for equal rights for chickens

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
do you think we'll ever live in a world where the reason the chicken crossed the road is not questioned?
fighting for equal rights for chickens

As much as i appreciate you and Pamela Anderson's quest to make sure all animals are treated humanely, including said chicken, I just want to eat them. So to answer why the chicken crossed the road for the first time I was so Bubba and heathcliffe could stumble upon the dead chicken that was squashed by a thundering herd of Antelope that was crossing the dirt road.

Bubba then looked at Heathcliff, shrugged his shoulders and stuff the trampled carcass into his knapsack. Later that night when they were ot able to have someone stop when they were trying to hitchhike they pitched their tents and pulled out the chicken.

They didnt think of the eathers and when they put the chicken over the hot flame it burst into flames. Hence flame broiled chicken. Once the removed the chicen and plucked the remaining feathers they were able to enjoy their first non rabbit/squirrel meal. It was deliciou minus the quill puncture wounds they received from the feathers,

So to answer your question the chicken crossed the road so Uncle Sam would have a second job as Co. Sanders and serve all of us Americans some delicious fried chicken.

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
do you think we'll ever live in a world where the reason the chicken crossed the road is not questioned?
fighting for equal rights for chickens

Sorry we keep missing each other. I hope all is well lovely lady.

 

[IhateClowns]

Missed you again on yahoo lovely lady. We will catch up soon. You are the only who has kept this drivel alive. Come back soon

 

[BradBigBrain]

What do you think of that guy who has an Ask Me Anything thread? Do you think he stole thunder away from the Dear Clowns thread?

 

[IhateClowns]

What do you think of that guy who has an Ask Me Anything thread? Do you think he stole thunder away from the Dear Clowns thread?

Not in the least. This thread was and is obsolete. Well before you started yours. Yours is much better than this one. Why? Because it is still going lol. This one got boring quickly. If the lovely and talented AS2U hadn't taken the time to post in it this thread would have died a loooong time ago.

As for the op in the thread that stomped all over this one, he is an ok guy. He is kinda douchey and from what I have listened to is not very good on the radio. I give him a C for effort though. Kind of seems like he was granted a Make A Wish. I hope he gets hugs and special stickers for a job semi well done.

Also I hear he might be the new spokesman for the Micro Penis agenda that has taken over lit. I think this will be huge for his confidence although I have been told he has a face for radio. Hence the Make A Wish foundation granting him the opportunity.

I will have to say that he makes outstanding BBQ sauce and rubs. That I certainly give him a solid B for. So when you add up the grades he is a solid C+ all around fella.

 

[BradBigBrain]

C+???

C fucking plus???

Wait....That means I'm better than a C? C is average, right? I'm a C+!!!

Woot!!! Woot!!!!

BTW - I don't even make it to micropenis. Sorry to disappoint you.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear clowns,
do you know the way to san jose? i left my heart in san francisco. all my exes live in texas. i was born on the bayou. and that colorado rocky mountain high. kansas city here i come. nothing could be finer than to be in carolina in the morning. the devil went down to georgia. goin back to indiana. it's up to you, new york, new york. sweet home chicago.

after all it's a long and winding road.
signed,
catch me if you can

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
do you know the way to san jose? i left my heart in san francisco. all my exes live in texas. i was born on the bayou. and that colorado rocky mountain high. kansas city here i come. nothing could be finer than to be in carolina in the morning. the devil went down to georgia. goin back to indiana. it's up to you, new york, new york. sweet home chicago.

after all it's a long and winding road.
signed,
catch me if you can

You didn't take that left in Albuquerque did you? Sometimes a simple left makes all the difference in the world. Go back and start over. Start in sweet home Alabama.

 

[msmaggie]

Dear Clowns,

I have a dilemma. I recently started seeing a man I knew from grade school. We've had a couple of good dates and one really good kiss. But he told me he has this issue. He can't get intimate until he feels an emotional connection. Now I'm a woman with needs. How would you recommend I get him over this issue and into the sack?

signed

going without.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I have a dilemma. I recently started seeing a man I knew from grade school. We've had a couple of good dates and one really good kiss. But he told me he has this issue. He can't get intimate until he feels an emotional connection. Now I'm a woman with needs. How would you recommend I get him over this issue and into the sack?

signed

going without.

Dear going without,

Robital has always worked for me. Whenever a woman isn't interested in me I just sprinkle some into her milkshake and within an hour or so I am balls deep inside her while she sleeps soundly. Plus it gives me time to get her home before she wakes up. She is sore and a bit confused but as long as I pull out then I am good as far as any DNA incrimination.

If you don't have morals like I do then I would say rent a rather erotic none porn film. Set the mood. Don't go ooverboard. You don't need candles and JayZ to get him in the mood. Just some innocent touching of the arm. A good movie and make sure it is at your place. That way you can loc k the door if he tries to escape.

 

[msmaggie]

Dear going without,

Robital has always worked for me. Whenever a woman isn't interested in me I just sprinkle some into her milkshake and within an hour or so I am balls deep inside her while she sleeps soundly. Plus it gives me time to get her home before she wakes up. She is sore and a bit confused but as long as I pull out then I am good as far as any DNA incrimination.

If you don't have morals like I do then I would say rent a rather erotic none porn film. Set the mood. Don't go ooverboard. You don't need candles and JayZ to get him in the mood. Just some innocent touching of the arm. A good movie and make sure it is at your place. That way you can loc k the door if he tries to escape.

Thank you wise one. But how much do I need? He's a tall man, 6' 3". And how long does it take to work? I'd never be able to drag him in the house if he crashes too soon.

 

[IhateClowns]

Thank you wise one. But how much do I need? He's a tall man, 6' 3". And how long does it take to work? I'd never be able to drag him in the house if he crashes too soon.

Just one will work fine. When he is snoring you will know. My suggestion is to ride him while wearing Bose noise cancelling head phones. Nothing dulls an orgasm faster than snoring. Or so I have been told

 

[IhateClowns]

Just one will work fine. When he is snoring you will know. My suggestion is to ride him while wearing Bose noise cancelling head phones. Nothing dulls an orgasm faster than snoring. Or so I have been told

By the way let me know if this actually works so i can suggest it to my lady friends

 

[MrWhisper]

Dear clown,

I am under the impression that many clowns go into politics nowadays. Why is that? Circus business is that bad?

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear clown,

I am under the impression that many clowns go into politics nowadays. Why is that? Circus business is that bad?

There are more illusions going on in politics than in the circus. Plus just like any other college the tuition at clown college is astronomical. The cost of stretchy balloons and white out has sky rocketed. So not only is there tuition increases bu the school supply cost is ridiculous.

It is cheaper to run for office now. Just go around an ask for donations. I walk around asking money for causes I have no association with. It allows me to put gas in my car each day.

So yes clowns have left one 3 ring circus to join a left or right ring instead. Either way both jobs are made up of elephants and asses. Might as well have people donate their hard earned money and time for you to promise the world and deliver nothing instead.

 

[MrWhisper]

There are more illusions going on in politics than in the circus. Plus just like any other college the tuition at clown college is astronomical. The cost of stretchy balloons and white out has sky rocketed. So not only is there tuition increases bu the school supply cost is ridiculous.

It is cheaper to run for office now. Just go around an ask for donations. I walk around asking money for causes I have no association with. It allows me to put gas in my car each day.

So yes clowns have left one 3 ring circus to join a left or right ring instead. Either way both jobs are made up of elephants and asses. Might as well have people donate their hard earned money and time for you to promise the world and deliver nothing instead.

Ahhhh... that is so enlightening, thank you, Clown

But then, why don't they wear this typical red nose clowns are known for? Are they ashamed? I'm asking this cause I think I'd feel less uncomfortable to laugh when the promise promise promise...

 

[Jett_73]

Dear Clowns,

I've run out of ideas for my next AV. What would you suggest?

Jett-lagged

 

[Aquagal]

Dear Clowns,

I've run out of ideas for my next AV. What would you suggest?

Jett-lagged

A picture of you

 

[Jett_73]

A picture of you

Unusual. Not much of an Alvin Stardust fan myself but, OK ...

 

[IhateClowns]

Ahhhh... that is so enlightening, thank you, Clown

But then, why don't they wear this typical red nose clowns are known for? Are they ashamed? I'm asking this cause I think I'd feel less uncomfortable to laugh when the promise promise promise...

Clowns are ashamed of themselves. Do you actually see a happy clown anymore? They migh smile but inside they are hurting and filled with guilt. Clowns are loners. You can usually find them sitting on park benches watching children ride teeter totters.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I've run out of ideas for my next AV. What would you suggest?

Jett-lagged

Dear Jett,

I understand the AV dilemma. All the good ones are taken. I am resorting to water wings myself. I am just waiting for the film to get developed to see which are the best ones.

For you I suggest one of just 6pk abs. Those are the best and most successful AVs. Women love the 6pk abs and even I they aren't yours, women here will think they are yours. Lit women are gullible. How else has Ravi survived for so long?

 

[IhateClowns]

A picture of you

Like those are your tits.

 

[Jett_73]

Dear Jett,

I understand the AV dilemma. All the good ones are taken. I am resorting to water wings myself. I am just waiting for the film to get developed to see which are the best ones.

For you I suggest one of just 6pk abs. Those are the best and most successful AVs. Women love the 6pk abs and even I they aren't yours, women here will think they are yours. Lit women are gullible. How else has Ravi survived for so long?

Thank you, oh guru.

Wise words indeed.

I shall now search for a suitable ... ahem, take a picture of my taut, muscled torso to create the perfect abs-AV.

 

[IhateClowns]

Thank you, oh guru.

Wise words indeed.

I shall now search for a suitable ... ahem, take a picture of my taut, muscled torso to create the perfect abs-AV.

That is the perfect AV. It shows how much in shape you are. That you are active and live a clean lifestyle. I have NO doubt that is a picture of you. I am sure your inbox is inundated with women throwing their vaginas at you. Keep doing those crunches man.