Dear Clowns

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Since the NFL lockout has ended, I've been obsessed by all the news and watch/read everything I can get my hands on. Here's my problem. My home town team SUCKS. And when I mean SUCKS I mean hind tittie. They are one of two teams who have been to 4 Superbowls and have lost every one. They haven't been to the playoffs in 10 years and they're not getting there this year.

My question is...should I dump my home team and jump on another teams bandwagon? Or suffer with my team that I've followed forever?

Help!

Got to stick with them surely you haven't endured what cub fan has gone through. Unless your last name is Bartman I suggest you stick with your team, but it might not be a bad idea to invest in some brown paper bags. Look what that did for the long time Saints fans.

 

[IhateClowns]

By the way my services are free. I believe in being charitable. I am writing off everyone on here on my taxes. So if you get a call from the IRS or a knock on the door please make sure you tell them I charged each of you 1 million dollars. Thank you.

 

[msmaggie]

By the way my services are free. I believe in being charitable. I am writing off everyone on here on my taxes. So if you get a call from the IRS or a knock on the door please make sure you tell them I charged each of you 1 million dollars. Thank you.

The check's in the mail.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear clowns,
my pussy has been acting very strange lately. she wants to be petted all the time and needs a lot of attention. for some reason she seems to like it on the kitchen table all of a sudden. any suggestions on what to do?
signed,
pussy is in control

 

[IhateClowns]

The check's in the mail.

Thank you. It is very much appreciated. I am tired of eating Top Ramen

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
my pussy has been acting very strange lately. she wants to be petted all the time and needs a lot of attention. for some reason she seems to like it on the kitchen table all of a sudden. any suggestions on what to do?
signed,
pussy is in control

Dear controlled by your own vagina,

Well after learning you like to pump your pussy with thinly sliced cucumbers, I would have to say that you pussy is now pickled. A pickled pussy is a finicky beast. It wants what it wants and there isn't much you can do about it.

Do you hear faint clapping sounds at night? Those are you pussy lips trying to gain your attention. It needs to be fed. Where do you normally eat meals? At a kitchen table right? Pickled pussy is trying to communicate with you. You essentially have your own little shop of horrors going on between your legs right now.

All you had to do was keep the cucumber whole prior to fucking yourself with it. Because you didn't you have turned a relatively calm part of your anatomy into a ravenous salad. If you decide a carrot might be better next time make sure to keep the carrot whole as shaved carrots will cause your clit t turn orange.

No fun.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear clowns,
my pussy has been acting very strange lately. she wants to be petted all the time and needs a lot of attention. for some reason she seems to like it on the kitchen table all of a sudden. any suggestions on what to do?
signed,
pussy is in control

Dear controlled by your own vagina,

Well after learning you like to pump your pussy with thinly sliced cucumbers, I would have to say that you pussy is now pickled. A pickled pussy is a finicky beast. It wants what it wants and there isn't much you can do about it.

Do you hear faint clapping sounds at night? Those are you pussy lips trying to gain your attention. It needs to be fed. Where do you normally eat meals? At a kitchen table right? Pickled pussy is trying to communicate with you. You essentially have your own little shop of horrors going on between your legs right now.

All you had to do was keep the cucumber whole prior to fucking yourself with it. Because you didn't you have turned a relatively calm part of your anatomy into a ravenous salad. If you decide a carrot might be better next time make sure to keep the carrot whole as shaved carrots will cause your clit t turn orange.

No fun.

dear clowns,
my deepest apologies. i meant my cat.
signed,
feline friend

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
my deepest apologies. i meant my cat.
signed,
feline friend

Deep apologetic,

It is sincerely my apology for assuming you have a pickled pussy. Just awful. Who knew you meant your feline friend. The four-legged kind of course. If I had an unruly pussy who was controling me as much as yours does I would say fuck it and treat it aggressively. I would penetrate it with stern words. I would rub it more aggressively and make sure it knew i was in charge. There is nothing worse then an unruly uncooperative pussy.

 

[IhateClowns]

The check's in the mail.

Did you get the correct address?????

 

[availableslave2u]

dear clowns,
do you like cantaloupe?
signed,
just curious

 

[msmaggie]

Did you get the correct address?????

I may have to hand deliver it.

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
do you like cantaloupe?
signed,
just curious

Not big on cantaloupe no. I think ti has more to do with trying to tell if it is ripe or not at the store. Do you shake it? Tap it? Slap it? I am unsure but I watch these folks do rain dances around the produce trying to figure out which is the best.

 

[IhateClowns]

I may have to hand deliver it.

Lovely. I need to start limbering up then.

 

[msmaggie]

Lovely. I need to start limbering up then.

 

[IhateClowns]

If I didn't hit reply and saw that thing was a cat roar I would have been thinking that was an e-vite from your pussy .......cat

 

[msmaggie]

If I didn't hit reply and saw that thing was a cat roar I would have been thinking that was an e-vite from your pussy .......cat

Call it whatever you want....

 

[availableslave2u]

Not big on cantaloupe no. I think ti has more to do with trying to tell if it is ripe or not at the store. Do you shake it? Tap it? Slap it? I am unsure but I watch these folks do rain dances around the produce trying to figure out which is the best.

well, i think the produce people frown upon you taking your 'member' out of your pants to shake, tap and/or slap. I'm not sure what any of that will do to help you find a ripe melon.

 

[IhateClowns]

Call it whatever you want....

Oh I will now worries there

 

[IhateClowns]

well, i think the produce people frown upon you taking your 'member' out of your pants to shake, tap and/or slap. I'm not sure what any of that will do to help you find a ripe melon.

Really? Have you tried finding the ripest fruit using your who ha? Try it. Where a sun dress no panties and head to the produce section. Drop it piece of fruit on the floor If you squat and can pick it up without using your hands then it is ripe for the picking. Just be careful of the watermelon. Pic up one of those and go past an AC vent and you are liable to start whistling.

 

[availableslave2u]

Really? Have you tried finding the ripest fruit using your who ha? Try it. Where a sun dress no panties and head to the produce section. Drop it piece of fruit on the floor If you squat and can pick it up without using your hands then it is ripe for the picking. Just be careful of the watermelon. Pic up one of those and go past an AC vent and you are liable to start whistling.

we should go to the store together. first of all, both of us being so 'freakishly' tall will make heads spin, not to mention our stunning good looks. we go to the produce section and you pull out your woo-hoo and start thumping the melons. when you think you found one that's ripe, hand it to me. i'll squat and pick it up. then we'll decide not to take it, LOL. i wonder if any of the 'little people' will buy it after we put it back.

we could walk around the store getting stuff off the top shelf for people. then have some fun by putting extra items in people's carts or taking items out. i personally like taking stuff out. if some asshole leaves their cart in the middle of the aisle, i take an item out while i'm waiting to get by. i love imagining them at home, cooking a meal and they can't find the canned mushrooms. 'i know i bought them'. no, you know you put them in the cart....big difference!

see you later thumper

 

[IhateClowns]

we should go to the store together. first of all, both of us being so 'freakishly' tall will make heads spin, not to mention our stunning good looks. we go to the produce section and you pull out your woo-hoo and start thumping the melons. when you think you found one that's ripe, hand it to me. i'll squat and pick it up. then we'll decide not to take it, LOL. i wonder if any of the 'little people' will buy it after we put it back.

we could walk around the store getting stuff off the top shelf for people. then have some fun by putting extra items in people's carts or taking items out. i personally like taking stuff out. if some asshole leaves their cart in the middle of the aisle, i take an item out while i'm waiting to get by. i love imagining them at home, cooking a meal and they can't find the canned mushrooms. 'i know i bought them'. no, you know you put them in the cart....big difference!

see you later thumper

Lol. Sounds like a plan lovely woman. I think we would make in intimidating duo but we need to be careful of bruising the fruit.

 

[Daizie]

Dear Clowns,


Where'd the onesie pic go? Just wonderin'.

Sincerely,
AV-ator

PS-I'm a big fan of the backwards baseball cap one, too.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,


Where'd the onesie pic go? Just wonderin'.

Sincerely,
AV-ator

PS-I'm a big fan of the backwards baseball cap one, too.

Well thank you

As for the onesie pic I only pull it out on special occassions or when I am really bored. As for the baseball cap one there ya go

 

[LusterMunky]

Dear Clowns,

I have a multitude of issues in my life right now, as opposed to when I just had a multitude of girls.

So my questions is: should I consult Dear Clowns?

~ puzzled Munky

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I have a multitude of issues in my life right now, as opposed to when I just had a multitude of girls.

So my questions is: should I consult Dear Clowns?

~ puzzled Munky

Are they not one in the same? Do your issues stem from your multitude of girls? As for Dear Clowns if a question is asked he will answer. As for your multitude of issues I would certainly ask them one at a time.