Dear Clowns

[IhateClowns]

And a pinch of magic...........go on take a bite

Ok now you have me worried. Do i need to be worried? Why am I worried? Ok ok what to do what to do. Do I trust M or not? Oh God first major decsion of the new year.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I've never written to you before, but you give out such wonderful advice I just had to drop by.

How do I convince all of my new friends here on Lit that, although I find them all wonderfully flattering, that I can't possibly accomodate all of their perverted requests? I'm really not that kind of girl.

Innocently yours,
ella

Dear Ella,

First off welcome to lit. You have to understand that the men of lit are well men. I understand that some of them and by them I mean me have a bit of a naughty side to us. This being an erotic site kind of causes a chemical reaction in both our heads and well because more blood goes to the southern region then the northern we tend to think with it more.

Now my suggestion would be to put up a naughtier Av and even though the profile pic is well LOVELY to say the least maybe you shuld just show all of the bits and pieces. That way the guys can just openly stare and not make more requests.

You see a fully naked av of a beautiful woman such as yourself is like art and should be shared with the world don't you think? Who cares if you have family or a job or anything else that might get you into trouble if you show off the goods. The bottomline is keeping the creeps of lit satisfied.

So take off your clothes put a smile on your face and post new profile and av pics of everything they want to see. As you know once men get what they want they start to ander elsewhere anyway

Thanks for posting on the thread and if you have ANY other questions please do not hesitate to ask

 

[Morrigu]

Ok now you have me worried. Do i need to be worried? Why am I worried? Ok ok what to do what to do. Do I trust M or not? Oh God first major decsion of the new year.

Look at that ass and tell me it's not trustworthy lol like I'd ever knock you out with krispie treats......you are not on my 'should be hit with a rock list'

 

[IhateClowns]

Look at that ass and tell me it's not trustworthy lol like I'd ever knock you out with krispie treats......you are not on my 'should be hit with a rock list'

Oh don't get me wrong..I have looked at that ass a few times...Ok will take a treat. Ok maybe 2. Ok damn it 3 but that is it for this time.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns

I looked for the lap wriggling thread, but couldn't find it so.........*bends down to whisper in your ear* I hope the new year is full to the brim of everything you could wish for'

Hugs from the rock tosser

Hey Morri,

I think that lap you were needing is now available and finally healed properly. Waiting for you when you are ready.

 

[Peaches1990]

Dear Clowns

Do you know anywhere I could get one of those bathroom counter things with huge mirror over fitted cheap, or even free? Just wondering

Peaches xoxo

 

[availableslave2u]

dear clowns,
i never understood the 'if a train left chicago traveling at 54 mph and a train left seattle traveling at 62 mph' thing. why don't they fly? why does the seattle train go faster? why doesn't one train just wait in their city and wait for the other train to get there? why do they have to meet? what will they do when they meet? is this some kind of drug deal going on?

can you shed some light on this for me?

also, thank you so much for your reply to my question about mom having lots of lights on. i laughed so hard. you are so on the money with that one. is it any wonder why i love you?

thanks for everything,
curious about trains but grateful for your insight

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns

Do you know anywhere I could get one of those bathroom counter things with huge mirror over fitted cheap, or even free? Just wondering

Peaches xoxo

Bthroom Counter tops? Is that what you mean? Do you not have counter tops in your bathroom? Where do you put your toothpaste? Soap? Hmmmmm Do you not wash your hands after going to the bathroom or do you just hop in the shower? I am trying to figure out how you cannot have a counter top in your bathroom?

I would go to IKEA. They have everything you could possibly imagine for your house. They are the walmart of do it yourself furniture. There are many used for a good sturdy countertop in the bathroom besides putting toothpaste and soap on it. Just make sure the brackets are supported well otherwise there could be some bruising.

PM me and we can discuss some of the things a good countertop can provide for you, and a friend

 

[Morrigu]

Hey Morri,

I think that lap you were needing is now available and finally healed properly. Waiting for you when you are ready.

Dear Clowns,

Move your hands and prepare to be boarded Just what I needed a nice comfy seat to sit and ponder my thoughts. You're so thoughtful.

Thanking you
Wrigglesome

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
i never understood the 'if a train left chicago traveling at 54 mph and a train left seattle traveling at 62 mph' thing. why don't they fly? why does the seattle train go faster? why doesn't one train just wait in their city and wait for the other train to get there? why do they have to meet? what will they do when they meet? is this some kind of drug deal going on?

can you shed some light on this for me?

also, thank you so much for your reply to my question about mom having lots of lights on. i laughed so hard. you are so on the money with that one. is it any wonder why i love you?

thanks for everything,
curious about trains but grateful for your insight

Dear curious,

Why is it people need to get somewhere so quickly????? Take a deep breath Slavey. Lets stop and smell the homeless fom time to time. Who cares when the trains get there? I don't. Do you honestly? That is how I answered that question on my exams. There isn't a drug deal it is just a way to make you think outside of the box. That is how I look at it. The teacher doesn't want a specific answer. they want a logical one. So I would write out exactly what i thought of the questions asked.

Problem was the scantron is only so big so I had to write really tiny and she couldnt read it so I failed quite a bit. But hey look at me now I am in sales and I drive my own car so fuck the trains. It is a shitty way to travel anyway.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Move your hands and prepare to be boarded Just what I needed a nice comfy seat to sit and ponder my thoughts. You're so thoughtful.

Thanking you
Wrigglesome

Dear wriggler,

HAND CHECK! They are to my sides and I have a seat cushion so i am adequately prepared for you to spend as much time telling me what you want for Christmas 2011

 

[Mrs.H]

To my dearest Clowns,

Oh do I ever need your help! Ok........ I have this "friend" right? Can we call her Jane?

Ok, well Jane has this MASSIVE crush on this man we'll call John. Following me so far?

It's a huge crush and apparently John is not picking up what Jane is putting down, if you know what I mean.

What should Jane do? She has been pretty blunt about her wanting to be with him.

Should she just let things be and accept only a friendship or.............?

Please advise.

Sincerely Jane......... NO NO I mean...... Janes FRIEND!!

 

[Morrigu]

Dear wriggler,

HAND CHECK! They are to my sides and I have a seat cushion so i am adequately prepared for you to spend as much time telling me what you want for Christmas 2011

Dear CushionProtectedOne

Is there an in-lap movie too?

Yours
AlwaysOnTheNaughtyList

 

[wyshes]

Dear Clown ....

Why are some guys such idiots and think that they own a person after just talking to them for less than a month. Want them to change into something they will never be i.e. a nonflirt ??

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

Dear Clowns- I read this words from a thread- tramp stamp ? what's that ?

 

[IhateClowns]

To my dearest Clowns,

Oh do I ever need your help! Ok........ I have this "friend" right? Can we call her Jane?

Ok, well Jane has this MASSIVE crush on this man we'll call John. Following me so far?

It's a huge crush and apparently John is not picking up what Jane is putting down, if you know what I mean.

What should Jane do? She has been pretty blunt about her wanting to be with him.

Should she just let things be and accept only a friendship or.............?

Please advise.

Sincerely Jane......... NO NO I mean...... Janes FRIEND!!

Dear Jane's "Friend"

Huge crush huh? And he is blind to that? Have you ever tried duct tape? That stuff works on just about everything. If I have a problem at home I just duct tape it. It is an amazing product.

So here is my suggestion. Punce tackle or whatever it is women do on here when they see someone for the first time in a while and duct tape his ass to your favorite chair. Then try water torture until he gives in. Most guys are utterly clueless Mrs. H.

Make sure you do your homework on this guy though as he could be taken already and if so hopefully friendship will suffice. If not then club him over the head and drag him to your cave

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear CushionProtectedOne

Is there an in-lap movie too?

Yours
AlwaysOnTheNaughtyList

Dear always,

I know what list you are on at all times and the three times this past Saturday young lady. Is there an in-lap movie??? Is my company not good eough for you Morri? I need to try "harder" I suppose

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clown ....

Why are some guys such idiots and think that they own a person after just talking to them for less than a month. Want them to change into something they will never be i.e. a nonflirt ??

Wow someone less then 30 posts is already "owned" on this board? Guys work quickly around here. It is like a land rush or something. Guys just running around full mast and just dive dick first into someone and stake their claim.

What is that about. By the way that is a funny image isn't it? Guys diving all
over the place with ahard on trying to mark their territory.

So you waant the guys to change into a non flirt is that it? Did I misread what you meant? If that is the case you might want to go to a different website. Women complain that guys think with only one head and then come to this site and expect them to think wit the other? Hate too tell you that you just joined the male's version of Utopia here. Where else can most of us get a way with thinking with our dick and then just blame it on it being an erotic site?

I would highly suggest you learn to use the iggy button and hope that you get a nice guy soon. There are 3 left I think and they are the ones running around at half mas mumbling to themselves that it is starting to get cold out here.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns- I read this words from a thread- tramp stamp ? what's that ?

A tramp stamp is a lovely tatoo that is on the small of a woman's back. It is called that because the theory is most women who have one there like to take it where the poo comes out. Thus allowing the guy to pull out and shoot his load on the small over her back and use it as target practice.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Clowns,

Any advice for us men who are worried that an unsuccessful VD (Valentines' Day) will lead to an equally unsuccessful Steak and Blow Job Day on March 14th? The pressure is on...you know what I mean...every kiss begins with K and he got it at Jared's...especially during the football playoffs.

Help a brother out,
~ No deep pockets here.

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

A tramp stamp is a lovely tatoo that is on the small of a woman's back. It is called that because the theory is most women who have one there like to take it where the poo comes out. Thus allowing the guy to pull out and shoot his load on the small over her back and use it as target practice.

Ohh Babe that sounds HOT ~ wanna practice ?

 

[Morrigu]

Dear always,

I know what list you are on at all times and the three times this past Saturday young lady. Is there an in-lap movie??? Is my company not good eough for you Morri? I need to try "harder" I suppose

Dear OmnipotentPersonage

Can you tell me what list I'll be on later on tonight? Then at least I'll be prepared and all that.

Well I just thought it was worth asking about the movie..........I would have brought the popcorn.

Yours

LapWarmerUpper

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear OmnipotentPersonage

Can you tell me what list I'll be on later on tonight? Then at least I'll be prepared and all that.

Well I just thought it was worth asking about the movie..........I would have brought the popcorn.

Yours

LapWarmerUpper

Dear lap warmer upper,

You will be on the list you are always on Morri you know that. If there is one thing I dont have to worry about with you is that ink. Because I have only had to write your name down on one side once and just leave it there.

As for popcorn you bring it and I will supply the butter.

 

[MsTexas]

Dear Clowns ...

Is it time yet?

Impatient Litster

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns ...

Is it time yet?

Impatient Litster

Dear impatient,

Yes it is time and it will always be time and if God forbid there isn't any time then I promise you I will do my best to make time.