Dear Clowns

[Peaches1990]

Bthroom Counter tops? Is that what you mean? Do you not have counter tops in your bathroom? Where do you put your toothpaste? Soap? Hmmmmm Do you not wash your hands after going to the bathroom or do you just hop in the shower? I am trying to figure out how you cannot have a counter top in your bathroom?

I would go to IKEA. They have everything you could possibly imagine for your house. They are the walmart of do it yourself furniture. There are many used for a good sturdy countertop in the bathroom besides putting toothpaste and soap on it. Just make sure the brackets are supported well otherwise there could be some bruising.

PM me and we can discuss some of the things a good countertop can provide for you, and a friend

Dear Clowns

Toothpaste? Soap? Us Europeans never wash, brush our teeth or shave our bits, didn't you know? I want the counter top for entirely different reasons of course. No need to junk it up with such clutter

Thanks for the advice. I will see if there is a willing sales assistant in Ikea prepared to help me test them out. He of course will need to be European and not wash to overcome the stench from my non washing of course. Swedish, yeah they're filthy

Peaches xoxo

 

[MsTexas]

Dear impatient,

Yes it is time and it will always be time and if God forbid there isn't any time then I promise you I will do my best to make time.

Well it's about time you felt that way ...

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns

Toothpaste? Soap? Us Europeans never wash, brush our teeth or shave our bits, didn't you know? I want the counter top for entirely different reasons of course. No need to junk it up with such clutter

Thanks for the advice. I will see if there is a willing sales assistant in Ikea prepared to help me test them out. He of course will need to be European and not wash to overcome the stench from my non washing of course. Swedish, yeah they're filthy

Peaches xoxo

I figured as much. A lot of the movies that I have seen based on you Euros depict you as unsanitary just like your shows depict us as the TV show Dallas. I get it completely.

To answer your question I am going to need specifics please. I mean specific specifics. What in great detail do you plan on doing on the counters. Now before you start let me put on a little bit of music and some yoga pants.

 

[IhateClowns]

Well it's about time you felt that way ...

I do my best when needed

 

[Sidney_1]

Dear Clownz,

Do you have a favorite bedtime story?

Sleepless Sidney

 

[Sidney_1]

Dear Clownz,

It's okay, I'll probably be halfway to dreamland by the time you reply . . .

Good-night,
Sidney

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clownz,

Do you have a favorite bedtime story?

Sleepless Sidney

Dear Clownz,

It's okay, I'll probably be halfway to dreamland by the time you reply . . .

Good-night,
Sidney

I am sorry I missed this as I am one damn good story teller. I have this doozy of a story that I am dying to tell to someone that needs to fall asleep it is called IHC's Autobiography.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

Dear Clowns,

I can't breathe. What should I do? And please don't tell me you have "something" that will "help" me.

Thank you.

Breathlesss in Michigan

 

[Peaches1990]

Dear Clowns

You were saying?

Thinks I went a little deaf xoxo

 

[BradBigBrain]

I am sorry I missed this as I am one damn good story teller. I have this doozy of a story that I am dying to tell to someone that needs to fall asleep it is called IHC's Autobiography.

I'm sad. You missed my question, too.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I can't breathe. What should I do? And please don't tell me you have "something" that will "help" me.

Thank you.

Breathlesss in Michigan

Dear Breathless,

Hmmmm Miles or Hoke and you got Hoke..You guys got Hoke. He will be a nice replacement for a few years till you figure out who to bring in next.

Good luck

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns

You were saying?

Thinks I went a little deaf xoxo

Was I yelling Peaches? My bad, I am a big boy and have a deep voice. I don't know what the word whisper means. I will tone it down a notch or two

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Any advice for us men who are worried that an unsuccessful VD (Valentines' Day) will lead to an equally unsuccessful Steak and Blow Job Day on March 14th? The pressure is on...you know what I mean...every kiss begins with K and he got it at Jared's...especially during the football playoffs.

Help a brother out,
~ No deep pockets here.

Dear empty pockets,

Fuck Kay and Jareds. Every kiss doesn't begin with K it begins with green or plastic. So what if he got it at Jared's. I haven't seena piece of jewelry that I like on these silly commercials. They are all gaudy in my opinion. So if it takes an open heart necklace for your woman to feel special and give you a kiss I would suggest buying some play-do and molding her one.

get her something simple. Something meaning ful. Doesn't have to cost much or anything at all. If you are expecting a steak and a blow job tell her that you will get her some chicken and a lip lick. When she looks confused tell her that chicken is good for her, full of protein and that you are looking out for her well being. When she seems startled when you rip her jeans off as she walks through the door just tell her to relax it is VD and this is expected. Now be careful of her period, that penny taste isn't for everyone. If she is on her period bring a water bottle. Squirt it, then lick a few seconds after. Squirt it then lick. Repeat those steps until she has either cum or is chaffing.

After one or the other has occured. Tell her you love her. Give her a Hallmark Card with some free hug coupons and watch her eyes well up from the sincere gesture. There is no better gift then that of a hand written coupon for free shit like, hugs, or no cleaning day. They love that shit. Almost as much as a CD you make of the songs that emind you of her. Such a sweet touch. You do these things and you can throat fuck her while eating a steak in one months time.

Good luck

 

[IhateClowns]

I'm sad. You missed my question, too.

My fault. Please see above.

 

[goodgurlgetsbad]

Dear Clowns,
Did you get the toilet joke ?

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,
Did you get the toilet joke ?

Dear sender,

Received it during my meeting and it made the meeting better thank you

 

[Morrigu]

Dear Clowns

Please could I have a doozy explanation for the way the duvet seems determind to turn every night into a wrestling match?

Yours

CameOutOnTop

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns

Please could I have a doozy explanation for the way the duvet seems determind to turn every night into a wrestling match?

Yours

CameOutOnTop

Dear cumming?

A doozy explanation? Oh you mean a doozy of an explanation. Hmmm Not sure if I can come up with one. We have a duvet at home but I hardly get wrapped up in it because my wife seems to enjoy keeping nice and toasty while I get into a feel position and pray my feet will stay warm under the sheet.

I am not sure where the rule was set that I get to sleep with hardly anything covering me while she gets to be entombed. Because of this dilemma I take a piss 2 times a night because my testicles decide it is warmer to hide in my bladder thus making it feel full all of the time.

When i take the covers back it is a matter of minutes before you covertly steals them back. I think she just waits for me to go into a heavy sleep and once that happens a plane could crash outside my window and I wouldnt hear anything. Funny loud unruly noises don't wak me but I testicles playing hide and see will wake me every time.

So unfortunately all I can say is be grateful that you get to have the duvet covering you in any capacity. There are those out their that look don't get that option.

 

[Morrigu]

Dear cumming?

A doozy explanation? Oh you mean a doozy of an explanation. Hmmm Not sure if I can come up with one. We have a duvet at home but I hardly get wrapped up in it because my wife seems to enjoy keeping nice and toasty while I get into a feel position and pray my feet will stay warm under the sheet.

I am not sure where the rule was set that I get to sleep with hardly anything covering me while she gets to be entombed. Because of this dilemma I take a piss 2 times a night because my testicles decide it is warmer to hide in my bladder thus making it feel full all of the time.

When i take the covers back it is a matter of minutes before you covertly steals them back. I think she just waits for me to go into a heavy sleep and once that happens a plane could crash outside my window and I wouldnt hear anything. Funny loud unruly noises don't wak me but I testicles playing hide and see will wake me every time.

So unfortunately all I can say is be grateful that you get to have the duvet covering you in any capacity. There are those out their that look don't get that option.

Dear NakedInTheNight

I am very grateful I only get to wrestle with the duvet and not someone else for the duvet.

Thank you for making me see my duvet dilemma in a whole new light

Yours
SnuggledUp

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear Clowns,

Your alt doesn't wanna be my Valentine this year, do you think you can have a few words with him and get him to see sense?

Your sobbing silent tears heart-broken Litzbiatch.

 

[janeyl]

Dear Clowns,

People keep passing me over...I feel invisible

Should I get my tits out again?

 

[Honey123]

Dear Clowns..

If there were two ships that past in the night...who do you think they'd be?


Signed,

The Santa Honey Maria

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

Dear Clowns,

People keep passing me over...I feel invisible

Should I get my tits out again?

YEAH!! (Oops, I'm not Clowns )

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Your alt doesn't wanna be my Valentine this year, do you think you can have a few words with him and get him to see sense?

Your sobbing silent tears heart-broken Litzbiatch.

My alt huh. I will have to have a chat with him although he seems to be a pretty nice fella. Did you say or do anything like shooting him in the ass with an arrow to upset him?

I will have a chat and let you know what he says. Right now he is bent over in front of a mirror trying to wash out the ink

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

People keep passing me over...I feel invisible

Should I get my tits out again?

I am never going to tell you no to get out your tits. You could say Dear Clowns, my cat just got run over by a car, should I get out my tits and the answer is alwasy going to be yes pretty please with a nipple on top.