Dear Clowns

[IhateClowns]

dear clowns,
do you know where my slippers are?
signed,
cold feet

I have no idea where they are. Why do people where slippers anyway? Just put on some socks. Slippers are just silly. If your feet are cold I have a new suggestion. The Fuggy. It is a blanker theat has pockets to put your feet in. Granted it only comes up to your waist but at least your feet will be cold. Add a snuggy to the top of it and you are guaranteed to stay arm and never get laid again.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns

If I had a big stick I surely wouldn't be one of those "women" aren't their sticks always a little bigger than average? Maybe I've been on the wrong end of a stick

I was poking with my finger, which is nowhere near stick sized. Unless we're talking those Winnie the pooh playing sticks size in which case mine would def win. I'd probably lean too far over the railing and fall in too.

Now I'm confused as to what I was doing here. Now there's a bigger question for you, true "women" troll sized. Why am I here?

Yours
KeepingMySmallStickToMyself

Why are you here? As in on this thread or earth? Either way the answer is the same. To keep me pleased. So far you are doing a wonderful job.

 

[NorthernPA4U]

Dear Clowns:


Apparently the Malawian government is debating a bill that would outlaw farting in public places. (True story)

My questions are these:

(a) How much money do you think an entrepreneur could make funding a project that would develop whatever devices would be made to enforce this law, and (b) do you think I (or any other said entrepreneur) would be liable if it turns out (for example) that the flammability of the gases involved caused the detection equipment to explode?

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns:


Apparently the Malawian government is debating a bill that would outlaw farting in public places. (True story)

My questions are these:

(a) How much money do you think an entrepreneur could make funding a project that would develop whatever devices would be made to enforce this law, and (b) do you think I (or any other said entrepreneur) would be liable if it turns out (for example) that the flammability of the gases involved caused the detection equipment to explode?

I would be sent tho death row if I lived there already. I am unsure if there is a device that can be made but if you could do it I am sure you would make a fortune. Now as far as liability goes from gaseous exits causing device catastrophes I would make them sign a waiver that way you are not only covering their ass but yours as well.

Seriously I fart all the time. I have gotten to the point I don't give a shit if people hear it. I was at dinner the other nigth and had to let one go. We were sitting on wooden benches. Anyway i tried to be sly about it but when it released it was like a machine gun went off. It was so loud a little boy across the aisle from us looked at me and then asked his mommy what was that. They got up and moved tables. That is one of the very few times I have been embarassed in my life. So I probably would have not gotten to eat my dinner and faced a firing squad if I lived there after that one.

 

[Husker1987]

Dear Clowns,

I see you have competition up the page. There is no hatred for makeup wearing entertainers over there, just the furriest love from a huggylicious Macikins.

I guess what I'm asking is if you will price match.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I see you have competition up the page. There is no hatred for makeup wearing entertainers over there, just the furriest love from a huggylicious Macikins.

I guess what I'm asking is if you will price match.

I hadn't answered this thread in a while and realized there were questions on it I hadn't answered. Then I found Mac's new thread and by all means I will leave the answering all up to him. So No coupons, no price matching. I leave the questions and answering up to Mr. Mac. He is smarter then i am anyway and you guys might actually learn something lol

 

[Morrigu]

Why are you here? As in on this thread or earth? Either way the answer is the same. To keep me pleased. So far you are doing a wonderful job.

Dear Clowns

You made me come over all blushy. You do know if you sat still I could please you more. Now just stay there for 5 mins 'k.

Yours

QuitAWriggling

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Clowns,

There is this young man, I'll call him Bryan Lack (not his real name), who has a tendency to flirt with us men on the PG. What should I do?

Thanks,
Straight but not narrow

 

[Rosemaryythyme]

Dear Clowns,
Why did the itsy bitsy spider go up the water spout?

,
Seriously confused litster

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

There is this young man, I'll call him Bryan Lack (not his real name), who has a tendency to flirt with us men on the PG. What should I do?

Thanks,
Straight but not narrow

Yeah this man has become an epidemic here in the PG...He feels because he has a gigantic penis he can just throw it around and shove it in any hole he pleases. I think that you just need to come to terms that you might be gay. There is nothing wrong with it BBB. Just accept who you are and instead of fghting him, just hug him. Bryan Lack is a constant manipulator. If you aren't gay try acting gay and maybe just maybe that will throw off his spidey senses and he will move on to the next guy.

I just went ahead and took it like a man. Cupping his balls while he masturbated doesn't make me gay does it? I had my eyes closed. He got what he needed and now he leaves me alone.

Good luck

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,
Why did the itsy bitsy spider go up the water spout?

,
Seriously confused litster

Dear Confused,

It really is simple. Childrens stories are actually nightmarish horror films told in a sweet voice and drawn with crayons.

Rock a bye baby on a tree top? Really? You want to rock a kid on top of a swaying tree? What the fuck.

Spiders crawling up water spouts and other places? How does that help calm a child down? It doesnt it is the sweet way you tell the horror story that calms them down.

Jack and Jill are both playing wheel chair basketball in the special olympics because they cant keep their footing on a hill.

Bottom line is don't read childrens stories to your kid. Read them poss by a couple of PG'ers. That will put them to sleep in no time.

 

[msmaggie]

Dear Clowns,

Is it really true that everything is bigger in Texas?

signed

Considering the vacation package deal

 

[BradBigBrain]

Yeah this man has become an epidemic here in the PG...He feels because he has a gigantic penis he can just throw it around and shove it in any hole he pleases. I think that you just need to come to terms that you might be gay. There is nothing wrong with it BBB. Just accept who you are and instead of fghting him, just hug him. Bryan Lack is a constant manipulator. If you aren't gay try acting gay and maybe just maybe that will throw off his spidey senses and he will move on to the next guy.

I just went ahead and took it like a man. Cupping his balls while he masturbated doesn't make me gay does it? I had my eyes closed. He got what he needed and now he leaves me alone.

Good luck

Um...I'd like to hug him, but I am so afraid of what it will do to me. I'd feel like a hot young thing at a HS dance. And I am who I am. And I don't know if letting Bryan Lack manipulate me would be such a good thing.

Are you sure it's a good thing?

 

[Honey123]

Dear Clowns,

I sprained my big toe while doing backward lunges.

Now what?

Signed...

Honey

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

Is it really true that everything is bigger in Texas?

signed

Considering the vacation package deal

Everything is better and in a lot of parts better in Texas. So please go visit your travel agent and get your ass down to Texas so you can experience the grandest state in the nation. Just realize that it is SO BIG you might go home a little sore

 

[IhateClowns]

Um...I'd like to hug him, but I am so afraid of what it will do to me. I'd feel like a hot young thing at a HS dance. And I am who I am. And I don't know if letting Bryan Lack manipulate me would be such a good thing.

Are you sure it's a good thing?

I am not sure what a hot young thang at the HS dance feels like. I just know that he will continue his ways until he has you bent over and begging for your happy place.

I am not saying you need to always let him manipulate you, I am just saying once. He just wants a taste. Give him a little taste and then he will move on. The cost of the therapy sessions is well worth it.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I sprained my big toe while doing backward lunges.

Now what?

Signed...

Honey

STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER!!!!!

Who are you? Never seen you around here before

Sprained you big toe? Doing backward lunges? Leave it to you G to go the extra mile and decide forward lunges just aren't good enough for you. Why is that? Forward lunges are good enough for everyone else. They provide a good workout and at least you can see where you are going. Then again you have the nicest ass on lit so I can understand why you might wanna go backwards every now and then. Don't be a stranger pretty lady. You bring joy here everytime you show your pretty head around.

 

[Aquagal]

I suppose since you don't like clowns you never have spunk that looks like this?

http://pics.kuvaton.com/kuvei/clown_rainbow_blowjob.jpg

 

[IhateClowns]

I suppose since you don't like clowns you never have spunk that looks like this?

http://pics.kuvaton.com/kuvei/clown_rainbow_blowjob.jpg

Is that a question or a statement? Whatever it is I have never understood why a woman would allow a guy to cum on her face. How is that hot for her? I like the idea od marking a woman but really is pancake batter all over your skin hot for a woman? Whenever it splashes on my belly I feel like nasty then walk to the bathroom like I stepped in shit. On my tip toes slowly as not to get it on anything else.

 

[Aquagal]

Is that a question or a statement? Whatever it is I have never understood why a woman would allow a guy to cum on her face. How is that hot for her? I like the idea od marking a woman but really is pancake batter all over your skin hot for a woman? Whenever it splashes on my belly I feel like nasty then walk to the bathroom like I stepped in shit. On my tip toes slowly as not to get it on anything else.

My mistake for posting on the wrong Clowns thread. It was a statement.

 

[IhateClowns]

My mistake for posting on the wrong Clowns thread. It was a statement.

I was thinking you were asking me to cum on your face. I was getting all prepared. Kept squeezing the base at the last possible second so there would be a nice big load for you. Now I suppose I will just aim for my belly button again and do the tip toe walk of shame.

 

[Honey123]

STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER!!!!!

Who are you? Never seen you around here before

Sprained you big toe? Doing backward lunges? Leave it to you G to go the extra mile and decide forward lunges just aren't good enough for you. Why is that? Forward lunges are good enough for everyone else. They provide a good workout and at least you can see where you are going. Then again you have the nicest ass on lit so I can understand why you might wanna go backwards every now and then. Don't be a stranger pretty lady. You bring joy here everytime you show your pretty head around.

 

[IhateClowns]

Oh my I just got kisses from Honey. I am now jealous of myself. Sheesh

 

[Honey123]

Oh my I just got kisses from Honey. I am now jealous of myself. Sheesh

how about some hugs as well?

 

[IhateClowns]

how about some hugs as well?

One of the best Dear Clowns questions ever

Dear Hugger,

Ummmmm yes please.