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The fun and eroticism is surely doing things together, pleasing one another.
Learning what it is that each other enjoys and sharing. Learning ( more important) what is not enjoyed and avoiding.
Don’t hide your bad days
LDRs are, after all, just relationships. Don’t impose on yourself the need to always come off as happy and put together. I’ve had calls where I’ve done little more than cry while my Dom listens and attempts to just be there for me. When another person can’t read your body language you need to make a greater effort to communicate what your feeling. Tell them if you feel sad, or frustrated, or angry. If you know that you’ll have trouble with this I’ve heard some people establish emojis or code-words ahead of time that they can use to communicate a mood when they can’t find the words.
Cut yourself some slack
Some days will be difficult. You’ll miss connecting because of busy schedules or bad luck. It’s easy to feel neglected and unimportant, but try to keep perspective. Remember and appreciate the effort that your partner puts into your relationship and try to cut them, and yourself, some slack.
two things:
not hiding
and
cutting yourself and your partner slack.
to me these are of critical importance in making a relationship work.
If you are not telling/ sharing what you are feeling, what is going on in your life, what is being triggered for you etc, there is no way for your partner to know - they may be your Dom/ Top/ Daddy - but they can't read your mind.
and... at least for me... I find that I am pretty hard on myself. I want to do things *right* not screw up. please him. be a good girl. etc etc. And I know that most Doms/ Daddys are pretty hard on themselves too. They have high standards for themselves and they beat themselves up pretty hard if they screw up too.
anyone else have any thoughts or perspectives on these things?
The Daddy role has always had a strong pull for me, or something similar. I like the idea of control, but I'm not into the idea of pain or non consent.
I'm not sure that I fit the profile here, but I like the idea of being dominant and protective, but satisfying myself alone would be unfulfilling. Thanks for letting me share this.
The Daddy role has always had a strong pull for me, or something similar. I like the idea of control, but I'm not into the idea of pain or non consent.
I'm not sure that I fit the profile here, but I like the idea of being dominant and protective, but satisfying myself alone would be unfulfilling. Thanks for letting me share this.
Just came across this for those trying to figure out their relationship across virtual space...
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/85/28/ce/8528ced8279bd2502984cf122f1910d7.jpg
Wow ... I'd struggle with all but one, maybe two. "Feel Obedient ... Keep in line ... skype"
Just not in my wheel house.
That is what makes us all so very different.
I adore routines - because my brain functions that way, and having someone to hold me accountable gives me pride.
Skype is a camera, and they give me anxiety - so no go, even with someone important.
Keep in line ... rings more of Slave than Submissive. It bothers me.
Knowing that I am sleeping and eating ... that is a huge support, because I struggle with both.
Knowing my vocabulary (and its subsets) WinnerWinner, Chicken Dinner!!!
Just came across this for those trying to figure out their relationship across virtual space...
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/85/28/ce/8528ced8279bd2502984cf122f1910d7.jpg
Wow ... I'd struggle with all but one, maybe two. "Feel Obedient ... Keep in line ... skype"
Just not in my wheel house.
That is what makes us all so very different.
I adore routines - because my brain functions that way, and having someone to hold me accountable gives me pride.
Skype is a camera, and they give me anxiety - so no go, even with someone important.
Keep in line ... rings more of Slave than Submissive. It bothers me.
Knowing that I am sleeping and eating ... that is a huge support, because I struggle with both.
Knowing my vocabulary (and its subsets) WinnerWinner, Chicken Dinner!!!
I agree with you that the wording is a bit too about control, but one can also define it with their own terms. As you say, you like someone to hold you accountable - that could certainly fall into one side of the "keep her in line" spectrum - less about control and punishment, more about making sure you/she is fulfilling her needs for herself.
I often see these ideas of what makes a good Daddy or babygirl, or any kind of list for a relationship, as part of a spectrum rather than fixed rules. Each of us have different needs and different kinds of relationships that there is certainly no one model/label/list fits all. As well, each relationship changes over time or even in moments one has different needs - at times perhaps being kept in line is necessary but at other times she needs just support and suggestions. Ultimately, it is about being flexible which means being able to "read" one another which is so difficult in a long-distance relationship, which is why some sets of rules and fixed practices may be helpful, at least at the outset when you are still exploring one another and your relationship...
Yep, the vocabulary we use makes a world of difference, doesn't it?
I'm already such an earnest pleaser that to be told i was disobedient or needed to be kept in line would have crushed my spirit. I was fortunatee to have had a partner who understood that intuitively, and we focused instead on being responsible, productive, developing a sense of accomplishment, and confidence in my abilities.
He knew that language would tear me down, and he wanted to build me up.![]()
Peas in a pod Honey
Words matter so much
Peas in a pod Honey
Words matter so much
I agree with you that the wording is a bit too about control, but one can also define it with their own terms. As you say, you like someone to hold you accountable - that could certainly fall into one side of the "keep her in line" spectrum - less about control and punishment, more about making sure you/she is fulfilling her needs for herself.
I often see these ideas of what makes a good Daddy or babygirl, or any kind of list for a relationship, as part of a spectrum rather than fixed rules. Each of us have different needs and different kinds of relationships that there is certainly no one model/label/list fits all. As well, each relationship changes over time or even in moments one has different needs - at times perhaps being kept in line is necessary but at other times she needs just support and suggestions. Ultimately, it is about being flexible which means being able to "read" one another which is so difficult in a long-distance relationship, which is why some sets of rules and fixed practices may be helpful, at least at the outset when you are still exploring one another and your relationship...
Please spread the kindness and look after and check in on one another!
Make sure you drink lots of fluids. Tea, juice, and most importantly, water!
That thing you’re nervous about? You CAN do it!
Always remember:
~ Self Care/Love & NOT Self Harm/Hate
For those who need a helpful reminder:
- Make sure you are drinking plenty of water.
- Make sure you’re eating and making healthy choices.
- Make sure you’re taking your medicine(s).
- Make sure you’re keeping your body clean.
- Make sure you’re keeping a tidy living space.
- Make sure you’re taking frequent breaks.
- Make sure you’re remembering to pay your bills.
- Make sure you’re brushing your teeth.
Remember: You are worth it and not alone.
Those with cars: Make sure to check your tire pressure and fluids!
Have a great day!