Daddy is too busy.. What do you do?

[LittleVixen69]

What should a little girl do?

I had put this in the wrong thread....hope this is the right one now)


OK ... I have a question…… for all the little girls out there….


My Daddy released me because his work schedule changed and he has told me he is too busy to give me the attention I want and need…

It does seem I do need a lot of attention.

It has been a week now…. he wants me to go have fun and keep learning... but I miss him so much….

How did you handle it ? What seemed to help you stop thinking about him all the time?

I keep feeling like it was my fault for wanting him so much…

If you have any advice you can post here or pm me…

thanks
little vixen

 

[sweet_secrets4u]

People have a misconception about grieving. Most people believe you grieve when someone close passes away. But that’s not the case. How did you feel when your first love and you broke up? Ask a woman who has been married for countless years feel when her marriage broke up. They have both experienced the death of their relationship with their significant other. What was once, is never more, and will never be again, and they both grieve.

Because your relationship is online, (forgive me if I am wrong) it is no less important to you as it is for the other examples I mentioned above. You invested your feelings into him, and it is hard not to when there is a connection. What you had with your “Daddy” is no longer there, and you are grieving for what you once had, and don’t now.

There is no quick fix for grieving, it takes time, and there are several cycles all grieving people experience and go through.

 

[YourCaptor]

I'm no little but I'd be pissed.

Probably get over with anger.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I have no advice for you, really. But don't blame yourself for his busy schedule. That's ridiculous.

 

[FurryFury]

Mourn. Accept. Move on. Continue living YOUR life. Find another if you wish. He wasn't the right one.

 

[LittleVixen69]

Thank you all for your comments....

you are right I cant blame my self for his schedule... I guess it is a matter of feeling like.....if I was better he would find a way to make time for me...

I am not mad at him nor will I be angry about it... but would really love to stop feeling so sad about it...

I know to some it sounds ridiculous to be so connected to some one on line... but I was his...... mind body soul and heart..... I don't think the bond can just be broke with just him saying "I release you".....

he spoiled me for so long, giving me so much time and attention and making me feel very special to him.

I also know that...... yes he is busy now but he did not say "this will past" or "we will work on finding time" that is what hurts ....

oK.... that is enough crying to the board....

I know I just need to put my big girl panties on and deal with it... RIGHT??


thanks for all that have pm and posted...

little vixen

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sounds to me like Daddy had no intention of taking this relationship seriously. He used an excuse to end it-- one that unfortunately has far too much currency in this piece of shit economy.

I see this happen a lot. For many men BDSM is a form of sexual dalliance that should be easy to end-- while for the women it's a relationship.

I am truly sorry.

 

[DVS]

Thank you all for your comments....

you are right I cant blame my self for his schedule... I guess it is a matter of feeling like.....if I was better he would find a way to make time for me...

I am not mad at him nor will I be angry about it... but would really love to stop feeling so sad about it...

I know to some it sounds ridiculous to be so connected to some one on line... but I was his...... mind body soul and heart..... I don't think the bond can just be broke with just him saying "I release you".....

he spoiled me for so long, giving me so much time and attention and making me feel very special to him.

I also know that...... yes he is busy now but he did not say "this will past" or "we will work on finding time" that is what hurts ....

oK.... that is enough crying to the board....

I know I just need to put my big girl panties on and deal with it... RIGHT??


thanks for all that have pm and posted...

little vixen

This is your problem. In my opinion, he really didn't try to make it work, after a period of time. Who knows if it was really his schedule or just that he used that as a convenient excuse. It happens more than you might think.

You say you aren't mad at him but why not? I think you are being naive if you think he tried to make it work. I don't want to burst your bubble, but you really need to vent your emotions as anger and anger at him. Also, feeling sad for what you have is OK, but you need to vent some of that sadness at him as anger. Feeling emotion for a loss is normal. But something tells me he's not feeling any emotional loss. Direct some of your emotion towards him as anger and the cause of your pain, and I think you'll get it all out of your system faster. And for experiencing this now, you'll be wiser and better equipped for if and when it happens again. I guess you can thank him for that, at least.

Did I use the word anger enough?

 

[nastyman12a]

I'd say you need to take those panties off baby. and sit on my lap so we can get to know each other.

 

[RedButterflySlut]

Maybe you handle it different from me, but the man my heart is devoted to is similar to your 'daddy.' He rarely makes time for me, and I know I must be very low on his list of priorities.
I had to move six hours away to try to cope with the pain of knowing my affection is one sided.

It's hard to be angry, it feels more like defeat when he wants to walk away. It's easy to blame yourself, and you don't want to bother him. Your brain races with a million ways of how you could have been better, just a little bit more pleasing, maybe there was something you could have done to make yourself a priority.
It's in the nature of of lil' girls to want to rise to any challenge and please the man we care about. It's almost impossible not to. Anger feels too selfish, yelling feels selfish, all you want to do is get his approval again and feel like you're not bad.

If what I said is true, all I can recommend is a pint of ice cream and a movie. Do your best to accept that some relationships are just a temporary meeting of two ships in the night, and you're going to be okay. Your ship might have a hole, but you can mend it and keep on floating.

Or, to quote Dora from Finding Nemo: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'd say you need to take those panties off baby. and sit on my lap so we can get to know each other.

That is adorable

Speaking seriously though, this woman is pretty clear that she doesn't want to be abandoned again.

Please do her and yourself a favor, make it clear whether this is long term or short.

(Little Vixen, my opinion is that some short term fun with a few different daddies wouldn't hurt you at all-- when you are ready)

 

[LittleVixen69]

I do appreciate all the support and advice everyone has shared …

It does help reading them…

One thing I feel I must say…
I did not do this post to make my Daddy look bad or that he did not care about me…

He was very good to me and still checks on me…. he just feels that …

I guess that he can’t give me what I need any more… some of that is my fault… I am to needy and do to work on that…

Maybe I should not have posted this for everyone to read…..

There is a reason people write their feelings in private journal…. lol

Well it’s done now…
My only intentions were to get some advice on how others have moved on….

RedButterflySlut…. you really do know how I feel…you described it to the tee…
Oh already did the ice-cream and movie… and I love Dory…

Stella… thanks for your support... I always enjoy reading your point of view…
I am not a short term type of person… I only know of one way to commit and that is with all of me …..

Right or wrong that’s just me…

DVS - I don’t have it in me to be mad at him… he has been there for me and has said he has given me what he could but can’t any more.. I do want him to be honest with me … even if it hurts….



thanks again everyone
little vixen

 

[RedButterflySlut]

Vixen, make it clear to him that you want to handle being more independent, and you'll work towards it.. Sometimes miscommunication happen, it's possible that your daddy is uncertain of his place with you or how much you can handle.
There a few things that could be going on here- he could be trying to back off gracefully, but from what you've said he could need a bit of reassurance from you that you can deal with a bit less attention. I believe the world would be a better place if people expressed how much they appreciate each other more often. (I'm secretly REALLY LAME.)

But if things are done between you two, I'm sorry. I'm glad that you ate the ice cream, and watched a movie. It helps, doesn't it? I always watch Strictly Sexual when I'm having relationship issues that revolve around a D/s situation.
For me, when the person I care about doesn't talk to me it's like I'm spiraling out of control and the entire world is a kaleidoscopic, but all the colors are grey.
I think the best way to get over it is to look at the situation as analytically as possible, and accept it for what it is.

 

[Loverskitten]

Call me Cynical Sally (actually I'd love to have that as a copyrighted alt) but I'm gunna guess, you met your "online Daddy" here and wanted him to read this.
Hey I could be wrong (I don't play online which is what this is) but... Anyway, here's my advice (and I've told myself the same thing with a few guys) HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU. (or he's spending time with his wife)
online "Daddies" are a dime a dozen here, get another. That's my advice. (not getting into that argument again)
At least you didn't take it to real life where, after it ends, every guy who wears his cologne puts you in a sub space haze, that's fun.

 

[LittleVixen69]

Call me Cynical Sally (actually I'd love to have that as a copyrighted alt) but I'm gunna guess, you met your "online Daddy" here and wanted him to read this.
Hey I could be wrong (I don't play online which is what this is) but... Anyway, here's my advice (and I've told myself the same thing with a few guys) HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU. (or he's spending time with his wife)
online "Daddies" are a dime a dozen here, get another. That's my advice. (not getting into that argument again)
At least you didn't take it to real life where, after it ends, every guy who wears his cologne puts you in a sub space haze, that's fun.

Yes you are right..... I need to watch that movie again...
"He just not that into you"
if some one wants to spend time with you they will find a way...

I know I must move on its just easier said than done.....
But I am working on it...

thanks
little vixen

 

[Himself128]

I do appreciate all the support and advice everyone has shared …

It does help reading them…

One thing I feel I must say…
I did not do this post to make my Daddy look bad or that he did not care about me…

He was very good to me and still checks on me…. he just feels that …

I guess that he can’t give me what I need any more… some of that is my fault… I am to needy and do to work on that…

Maybe I should not have posted this for everyone to read…..

There is a reason people write their feelings in private journal…. lol

Well it’s done now…
My only intentions were to get some advice on how others have moved on….

RedButterflySlut…. you really do know how I feel…you described it to the tee…
Oh already did the ice-cream and movie… and I love Dory…

Stella… thanks for your support... I always enjoy reading your point of view…
I am not a short term type of person… I only know of one way to commit and that is with all of me …..

Right or wrong that’s just me…

DVS - I don’t have it in me to be mad at him… he has been there for me and has said he has given me what he could but can’t any more.. I do want him to be honest with me … even if it hurts….



thanks again everyone
little vixen

Don't worry about making him look bad or good. Leave him to define who he is and now for you to define who you may become. Its OK to get into the sadness for a few days and then start to focus on other things.

I am sorry for your the pain you have to feel Little V and wish you well.

 

[Azalea]

post deleted by writer

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Drink, exercise like a demon, throw stuff, talk it out with friends, hit yourself on the head with a ball peen hammer repeatedly, and start a thread like this one (see? You're on the right track!).

You'll find a new daddy that values you, though it seems impossible now.

You'll be fine. Just not this week, or this month, or maybe even this year. The right now simply sucks.

 

[Miles Long]

How long were you two an item?

 

[kiwi_submissive]

My advice (and yes I have done this in the past) is to pull on your big girl pants, stop blaming yourself, cut off contact as hard as that is because ultimatly it just draws out the inevitable and does not give you closure.

Put on some AC/DC and dance and headbang and scream your way around a a room. Soppy break up music I find is way to depressing.

I also find bungee jumping, white water rafting, car racing and sky diving helps but if they are too extreme then go to a golf driving range, buy some golf balls and just hit the shit out of them (pretending each ball is his head helps).

Without knowing your circumstances he may find that his schedule has changed and he can't give you the time that YOU need, how would you feel if you had talked to him frequently and now he can only give you an hour a week of his time? Would you still be happy with him then?

 

[LittleVixen69]

Himself128 --- I just didn’t want him judge….. people do what they have too…. he was never mean about this to me...

It was my naive thinking that when he asked me to summit, I thought it meant that he would never leave me… I am a very loyal person… If I give that much of myself it is for life….. Guess I need to grow up and not take online so serious….

That part is hard for me, my friends are my friends, just because I write and talk to them doesn’t make them mean any less of a friend than the ones I have face to face… I’m a real person here and I like to get to know real people… I even feel I share more and open myself more when writing, than talking.
(I know everyone has their view about online relationships …. so this is just mine…)

DeepGreenEyes------ LOL …..right track well I think I am going to have to pass on some of the things you suggested but thank you… I don’t think I will be much better this month but I refuse to let it go on a year… He will always have a place in my heart, I think your first is just like that. Right?

Miles_Long---- Since Sept 2011… but we had contact every day, sometimes hours, sometimes a few emails….. but every day… I was very spoiled… I know this now….

Kiwi_submissive--- You are right about cutting off the contact…..but it is so hard… I have been doing better; it has been less and very short… He is down to just saying good night to me now with an email…. so I don’t think contact will last much longer…. No I would not be happy with just an hour a week…. I know I’m needy and can be a brat…. But I need and want more attention than that.


Thank you all… it has helped hearing everyone’s views

little vixen

 

[Himself128]

Sounds like you have gotten good advice and I am sure you will sift through it and decides what works for you. There aren't the same social ground rules for online relationships, in part due to the anonymous nature of the beast. Hence when someone wants to bail out there is little social consequence to the one who leaves.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

 

[jaaybird]

Please see my pm to you......

 

[Edith_UK]

Sorry you're hurting

Listen, this is just my view, but I think you need to have a better opinion of yourself. Just stick your chin in the air and go 'I'm fucking ace and it's your loss *shrug*'.

When your going on about being too needy. What are you needy for? Time, emotional support, compliments, feeling needed yourself? Sometimes being needy is born of insecurity, then you get in this vicious cycle of feeling wobbly-seeking reassurance-that diminishing your confidence- feeling even more wobbly.

So try just thinking: I'm fuckin stunning/funny/kind/sexy/articulate and it's YOUR LOSS mister.

Then fuck the ice cream and girly movies, go and get roaring pissed with your mates n have a laugh.

Edie x

 

[His_pet_slut]

Sorry you're hurting

Listen, this is just my view, but I think you need to have a better opinion of yourself. Just stick your chin in the air and go 'I'm fucking ace and it's your loss *shrug*'.

When your going on about being too needy. What are you needy for? Time, emotional support, compliments, feeling needed yourself? Sometimes being needy is born of insecurity, then you get in this vicious cycle of feeling wobbly-seeking reassurance-that diminishing your confidence- feeling even more wobbly.

So try just thinking: I'm fuckin stunning/funny/kind/sexy/articulate and it's YOUR LOSS mister.

Then fuck the ice cream and girly movies, go and get roaring pissed with your mates n have a laugh.

Edie x

Perfect, love! Absolutely perfect. I know exactly who I would call on for a damn, he broke up with me date.