D/S vs Mormonism

[SubmissiveDove5]

I do not want to make this a thread on religion, nor do I want to offend anyone, but I have been reading a lot about the Mormon religion lately, and a lot of the family life sounds a lot like D/S to an extent.

In the first place, women are expected to be submissive, and the husbands are head of household. In the article I read, the husband actually did beat his wife when she wasn't ovedient. Of course, I realize that that is where it is different from bdsm, but it is similar.

Although Chris does want me to call him Master in the bedroom, which is where D/S comes into play, I'm wondering if I may have mislabeled him? I do know that he is a Mormon, and maybe he is just doing what he believes is expected of him by the church. I don't know. I don't want to upset anyone with this topic, and I know that without personally knowing Chris, you can't give an exact answer. I was just wondering if anyone had any thoughts? Am I right to think this?

 

[Pure]

The topic's been canvassed in a few threads if you search on bdsm and christianity. Yes, traditionalist Christian families, those who do a lot of quoting of St. Paul, have a definite Male-Superior power arrangement. And the wife consensually submits by and large.

That, of course has its erotic possibilities (not fully explicated in most Christian tracts, but mentioned in some autobiographies, and postings) and legal/moral implications: the father may discipline/beat the wife and kids. it is not possible for the husband/father to 'rape' his wife. IOW, her consent is not relevant, after the marriage vow to obey and provide sex for hubby.)

Of course the linkages may not be appreciated by your friend, though he may (without awareness) exploit them to an extent.
It is certainly NOT Mormon doctrine, afaik, that there be any kink at all (well, unless beating counts); hell they won't even drink Coke.
A sorts of 1950s view of life and family life.

 

[WriterDom]

I knew one lady who divorced a Mormon. Her life was hellish. He fucked her up so bad emotionally that she stopped speaking at some point. To anyone. She also said he raped her after the divorce and the church officials didn't want to hear about it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Given my personal experience with a few men from this religion, I would not be going there again, nor entertaining any thoughts of a D/s like connection. Number one issue seems to be consent is not an issue....simply because it is not regarded as a right of women and children.

Add to that the recent programme I saw where women who had escaped...yes escaped, not left....the community, told their stories of incest, being forced to marry relatives and men who were 45 and upward when the girls were 13 and upward, inbredding, the abuse and terror tactics used to keep them in their place and isolated, and the constant fear even years after escape..if you know he is Mormon sd5 and think he might be acting out of religious faith, I would forget all about meeting him or finding him that other sub to fulfil the needs he is sure you can't. Your choice I know, but as you already seem to have plenty of questions concerning this man, this last one would be the last red flag I would need to move on.

Catalina

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

I'm not sure how religious he is. He doesn't seem to be a fundamentalist, although I don't know that unless I ask him. He only attends church once a month, but he does read his bible every night. I have some cousins living in Utah who seem to be quite happy. They very involved in the church from what I hear, but of course, I don't know them well at all, so I could be totally wrong. I remember I did ask Chris once if he beat women. He said he never hit a woman, and all he would do is spank me if I needed it. I don't know, I guess I'm quite the masochist, lol. I just can't seem to let go I guess. Thanks for the advice though Catalina,

 

[Pure]

I remember I did ask Chris once if he beat women. He said he never hit a woman, and all he would do is spank me if I needed it.

Ask him if it's the *right* of a husband to whack a misbehaving wife. Not what he'd _do_.

He sounds like a mildly kinky, mild mormon, if there be such. Suggest keeping him outta Utah. By analogy: A few women who've married Arabs in the US, have found quite a change when the family relocates to Riyadh!!

 

[rosco rathbone]

Weird. I have a lot of books about mormonism on order, strictly for the dominant mastery crossover.

Any recommends?

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Pure

I know what you mean. I saw that Lifetime move, "Not Without My Daughter" with Sally Fields. That was based on a true story. It was unbelievable!

 

[angela146]

Let's clarify a bit. Aren't we talking about DD rather than D/s?

I would certainly see a lot of domestic discipline characteristics in the Mormon view of family life. The whole male HoH and female submission thing and the "right and responsibility" of a husband to spank his wife seem compatible with both Mormonism and DD.

 

[abbey_kyle]

wow. I found a yahoo group that is about DD and the bible a few months ago. I am totally sucked into it. Mainly, the women discuss being spanked by their husbands and how to be obedient. Everything is justified by biblical passages.

I guess what amazes me about this group is this justification that this need to be punished is in the goals of becoming closer to god. While I am not trying to bash anyone's religion here, I do see this as total avoidance of desire by masking it in religion. Some things will never change.

I find it horribly sad that many of these women cannot accept their sexuality freely, only hiding behind the bible in order to relate to it. Breaks my heart. Anyway, the link if anyone is interested:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wivesinsubmisssion/

 

[TittiCat]

My boyfriend was raised by the daughter of mormons. Let me clarify. His Grnadmother and grandfather uncles and cousins are all mormon, my BF and his folks are NOT mormon.

When He came into my life, something about how he carried himself brought out this submission inside me. I went thru an abusive marriage to a crackhead, and never once submitted, I fought my way thru that and survived it. But when I met my BF it felt like I had come home and that I was finally safe.... I serve him in every way. I wouldnt dream of saying no to him in the bedroom, I wouldnt dream of not taking the best care of him I can. He speaks I jump.

Often I have wondered if being raised around so many mormons might have rubbed off on him, and made him more "Dominant" simply as he is male.

Truth is, he is NOT mormon in any way - religion had nothing to do with it in this case, although, my subservience towards him has certainly won over his grandparents... they think I am wonderful!

Cat

 

[angela146]

Take heart, Abbey, there are some women going the other way.

Take a look at www.takeninhand.com as an example of the inverse.

Many of the women writing at that site are embracing their sexuality through submission (although there are a few who are motivated by religion).

 

[Pure]

Abbey said

Mainly, the women discuss being spanked by their husbands and how to be obedient. Everything is justified by biblical passages.

I guess what amazes me about this group is this justification that this need to be punished is in the goals of becoming closer to god.

Do you have something against being spanked as a way of getting closer to God?

Seems as likely a way--and quicker-- as 40 days and nights in the desert with no food and minimal water.

 

[Pure]

Taken in hand is indeed an interesting site, and i note they reject DD, DS, SM, TPE and BDSM labels.

One point I liked was that the dominant person *takes* what he wants; that's a submissive who's conquered, not offering herself as jello.

On the down side, like some BDSM sites, they are unable to imagine a relation other than when the dominant party is male, and the submitting party, female.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Just to get a little back on topic, I know Chris isn't very religious. I'm just wondering if some of his ways are more Mormon ways than bdsm. He doesn't refer to God at all actually. I guess maybe I'm confusing things, but that seems to be my middle name, lol.

 

[FungiUg]

Hmmm. Having suffered through an extremis of religion in my childhood, I can assure you that Mormons aren't the only people who hide systemic abuse under the name of religion.

Personally, I think if you are going to practice D/s or DD, then do it straight. Don't try and hide it and call it something else.

Any system that says that people MUST be one way or another gets my back up. Consensual behaivour is one thing, being forced into it is another.

 

[angela146]

Any system that says that people MUST be one way or another ...

I believe that is the short definition of "religion".

 

[FungiUg]

I believe that is the short definition of "religion".

Er... no. Don't agree with you on that one. Some religions do that, true.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

I was born a catholic, but we never practiced it, so I've kind of denounced catholicism and labeled myself as spiritual. With that said, I will convert to almost any religion my husband may want me to convert to as long as it's Christian I guess. Chris doesn't seem to care which religion I am at the moment. I know that might change if we marry, which I hope will happen, but I don't know if it ever will.

Another thing that gets me is that Chris wanted me to start telling him I loved him the first time we spoke on the phone. I have no problem with that because even though I don't think I am in love with him at this point, I do feel extremely emotionally attached to him. I know that he does care for me, which is acceptable to me at this point. I'm wondering if the "I love you thing" is a d/s issue or a Mormon issue or neither? Who knows, maybe he's already made up his mind that I'm the one he's going to marry! Yeah right! In your dreams SubmissiveDove, lol.

 

[Vixandra]

I'm with Fungi on that one.
Not all faiths are as closeminded as many would have Christianity be.

But, there's a good reason I'm Pagan- I can't believe anything that says "Mr. X" is going to hell because he doesn't belive as I believe.
But that's another thread.

SD5- have you tried asking him if his desire for your submission comes from his beliefs?

 

[FungiUg]

But, there's a good reason I'm Pagan- I can't believe anything that says "Mr. X" is going to hell because he doesn't belive as I believe.

You mean it's not that any public holiday is an excuse for an orgy?

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Nope, can't say I have yet. That would be a good way to find out though. I'm not being sarcastic with you, I'm being sarcastic with mysef. I often do that because sometimes I have no idea what to do about something, and it's so simple, lol. I will ask him when we speak again...if we speak again...

 

[FungiUg]

Sometimes the horses mouth just can't be beat! (Unlike a good ass, which should be beaten often...)

 

[modernman]

Given my personal experience with a few men from this religion, I would not be going there again, nor entertaining any thoughts of a D/s like connection. Number one issue seems to be consent is not an issue....simply because it is not regarded as a right of women and children.

Add to that the recent programme I saw where women who had escaped...yes escaped, not left....the community, told their stories of incest, being forced to marry relatives and men who were 45 and upward when the girls were 13 and upward, inbredding, the abuse and terror tactics used to keep them in their place and isolated, and the constant fear even years after escape..if you know he is Mormon sd5 and think he might be acting out of religious faith, I would forget all about meeting him or finding him that other sub to fulfil the needs he is sure you can't. Your choice I know, but as you already seem to have plenty of questions concerning this man, this last one would be the last red flag I would need to move on.

Catalina

with all due respect, you are very misinformed about the Mormon religion. You are confusing the LDS church with groups that have no affiliation with the Mormon religion whatsoever. 45 year olds don't marry 13 year olds in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. plain and simple. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are a liar

 

[modernman]

i happened across this topic quite by accident but thought I would respond. Alot of you have some very interesting misconceptions about the LDS religion. First, let it be known that any man that hits a woman in the LDS church is immediately stripped of any church calling and is almost always grounds for excommunication. There aren't any coverups etc. It is dealt with very strongly and quickly. All you have to do is read the church policies and listen to what church authorities say about women and their special place on earth. Please do some careful research from the actual church itself about what it believes and what it doesn't believe.