cym, oh sexpert, you. Come hither, lass.

[bluntforcemama]

I was skimming your post about MS and his confidence, bad-boy demeanor, etc., and the fact that you are both teachers. Interesting, I must admit. So what is it with teachers? Do we all have unusual sex lives? We can't show our faces often, if at all on here, because of moral clauses, but I wonder if people view teachers that are on this site as pedophiles. I know it has to be in the back of everyone's minds. I'm not a pedophile, the very thought of it makes me nauseous, but I do love kids, just not THAT way. Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself...

So I can be pretty scathing in my comments to adults (not kids, mind you, they're too tender-hearted and pure), and I know that I take control of situations, and what-not in my normal "vanilla" life, but I find myself more and more attracted to a mildly submissive life at night. So what gives? MS is in control all the time, so why are some of us just the opposite in bed than we are in daily routines? Maybe MS would like to respond as well.

 

[sexy-girl]

i'd be interested to hear the teachers part response ... lisa was a teachers assistant for a year ... although she never mentioned she was gay i wonder what would of happened if they found out

 

[Calamity Jane]

Not cym, and not a teacher... but I am finding that the more control i have to take over every aspect of my life... being a mom, working two jobs, being a housewife, trying to keep everyone happy and sane... the more I want to lost control in bed. i want the decisions taken away from me because I have to make them all day everyday and deal with others not liking them.

does that make sense?

teachers have to be in control day after day after day even when they don't want to be, or aren't emotionally equipped to be. i can see wanting to let someone else make the decisions for you.

 

[cymbidia]

Hey Myst, MS and i are about as far from being pedophiles as any two people can be. I go to extraordinary lenths to not cast apersions on anyone's kinks; i just don't do what i don't like. However i draw the line at sex with children.

It's wrong.

It's never right.

It's not okay.

People who force children into sexual situations should be castrated and then imprisioned forever.

I make no exceptions for anyone in this regard.

However, fantasies are fantasies. Playing with the idea of such sexuality is not wrong. Doing it is wrong. Looking at drawings of it is not wrong. Taking pics of someone doing it is wrong. Looking at actual pics of someone doing it makes me sick - but i don't know if just loking at the pics is wrong or not and i'm not going to argue it.

So, all this to protest, immediately and strenuously, that the teachers here at Lit (and there are quite a few of us) are pedophiles. We are not. We are just what you are: sexual people. No more. No less.

You're right about this though, Myst: no one here will ever see my face, or MS', on any sexually oriented board or site on the web. Teachers still have morals clauses in our contracts and we could be fired should our principal or district parents or members of the school board see us in a place like this and then push the issue. It's not worth the risk to us, collectively.

Whew!
Had to get that off my chest.

Now off to think about the rest of what you said, darlin'.

 

[bluntforcemama]

I agree with you completely on the pedophile issue. Now let's hear your wisdom.

 

[MissTaken]

As a social worker pursuing her Master's in Teaching, I can only support the comments made regarding remaining faceless. I, too, work in a field and geographical area wherein I would fired for real life sexual exploits as well as my time on the BB. Discretion is key. However, our sexuality is a part of our persona and to many of us, it is not to be denied.

Regarding pedophiles, teachers who are in tune with their sensuality and sexuality are not pedophiles. They are teachers.

I, too, hate people who sexually abuse children whether they be pedophiles or sexual offenders. I spent ten years investigating child abuse and neglect and am still shaken, at times, by the impact of sexual abuse on a child's health and development.

While I don't mean to offend anyone on the board who prefers children, rot in hell.

I realize the question wasn't for me, but interrupted with my two cents as it is an issue in which I have a strong belief system.

 

[lilminx]

teachers have to be in control day after day after day even when they don't want to be, or aren't emotionally equipped to be. i can see wanting to let someone else make the decisions for you.

For me, you hit the nail right on the head, Pagancowgirl. I like giving up control in the bedroom because I have to be a control freak during the day. The funny thing is, I've only been this way recently. Up until then, I was alternately dominant and submissive. I find now that the more difficulty and stress I have at my job and in my home and financial life, the more I want someone to have the upper hand and to dominate me (not just dominate) in the bedroom.

Sorry, Myst and Cym for interrupting your thread, but sexy-girl said she'd be interested in the teacher's response. Hope you two don't mind too much.

 

[Rubyfruit]

...but I wonder if people view teachers that are on this site as pedophiles. I know it has to be in the back of everyone's minds...

I obviously can't speak for everybody, but the thought never entered my mind. I can't imagine anybody making such a leap simply because you are a sexual being.

Ruby

 

[seXieleXie]

i don't think of the teachers on the board as pedophiles at all... and like ruby i cannot imagine making the leap that "so-and-so works with kids and so-and-so likes sex therefore so-and-so likes sex with kids."

about the submissive thing... i feel similarly to others who've posted. i have to control every other aspect of my life or it will all go to shit, in the bedroom i like to just Let Go. however, i don't know if i would be such a control freak out of the bedroom if i thought my life could still be managable that way.

plus, i love to please nothing turns me on more than doing exactly what my partner wants. yum

 

[cymbidia]

So I can be pretty scathing in my comments to adults (not kids, mind you, they're too tender-hearted and pure), and I know that I take control of situations, and what-not in my normal "vanilla" life, but I find myself more and more attracted to a mildly submissive life at night. So what gives? MS is in control all the time, so why are some of us just the opposite in bed than we are in daily routines? Maybe MS would like to respond as well.

I'm definitely in charge in my daily life too, Myst, whether it be in a classroom, during interactions with my own two kids, while discussing the incorrect medical billing on the phone with the insurance company, etc. I'm no doormat.

However, i'm also a lifestyle BDSM submissive. It is expressed with MS, and only with MS. For all intents and purposes, to him, with him, for him, by him, i am essentially an owned person. Threaded throughout all our interactions, sexual or not, in public or private, is an awareness of my submission to him and his Dominance of me. Our expression of the D/s within us to each other is a mutual giving of ourselves, two halves that meet and fit like puzzle pieces, a living entity apart for each of us individually that connects us no matter where either of us is, who we are with, or what we are doing.

MS controls me but it doesn't mean that he never needs my support or concern. It doesn't mean he’s never depressed or unsure. It means that his sexuality and mine complete each other but he's still a man like any other (okay, NOT like any other cuz he's better than any other - but i concede that it might be just in my eyes) and is sometimes as frail as any of us.

For me, then, my submission to MS is not just and only a thing of the bedroom. It’s part of the fabric of our lives and is necessary to both of us for that real relaxation and complete feeling one gets only within the embrace of a real and safe and utterly necessary relationship.

I am submissive in the same way that I am a woman or I have blue eyes. It’s just part of who I am. I came to that knowledge early in my sexual life; others come to it later. It doesn’t matter, however, when anyone in particular learns they like, say, asparagus, only that after they know, they have it as often as need it to appease the asparagus hunger.

So it with any new facets of anyone’s sexuality. Whether your submission is in direct proportion to the stresses of keeping control in your daily life or if it flows from another source altogether, it’s still a hunger and need that you must find a way to appease.

Or so it seems to me.


P.S. And I don’t thing Myst ever had any intention of closing this thread to anyone’s thoughts and perspectives, either. She just knows it makes me go all weird over here on my side of the monitor to have my nick in a thread title.

 

[bluntforcemama]

*snickers* You know you love to have your name in threads! Besides, you're the most knowledgable person in the area that I want to talk to because you always make sense out of things that are sometimes confusing. Even BDSM. *muah* Thanks for your input, cym.

And thanks to everyone else who shared their thoughts with me. All are appreciated.