cutting

[seXieleXie]

i'm going to bed now because i'm emotionally and physically exhausted. i'm going to leave this thread for you all and hopefully come back to it in the morning.


did you ever engage in cutting or other forms of self injury? why? how old were you? have you stopped? if so, how and why did you stop? did you have anyone who helped you? is there anything anyone could have done for you to make you stop?


for those of you who know/knew cutters... what do you do? how do you try to help, if you do at all? does it work?




i'd appreciate anyone's input. i won't be here to tend the thread, but i will be back to it later.

 

[Cherry]

Lexie, there was a thread in the BDSM forum about cutting. I think it was the girl who was involved with JenJo (can't remember her name now) ... but the thread discussed it extensively.

 

[InnocentAngel81]

did you ever engage in cutting or other forms of self injury? why? how old were you? have you stopped? if so, how and why did you stop? did you have anyone who helped you? is there anything anyone could have done for you to make you stop?


for those of you who know/knew cutters... what do you do? how do you try to help, if you do at all? does it work?




i'd appreciate anyone's input. i won't be here to tend the thread, but i will be back to it later.

I was 20

Stopped last march

I stopped because i was tired of people always watching me

I feel there is nothing anyone can do to keep me from starting over

 

[AzureAngel]

It's a difficult topic to speak to. I've never been the person doing the cutting, but I have known a few people in my past. All that I've really found I can do, and I'm not even sure how much good it has done, was be there as best I can for that person. To support them in their life and provide positive feedback that many people aren't receiving.

I've never been able to speak directly to the issue of cutting with any of them - because it isn't something I wholly understand. Hard for me to touch on it directly without fear that I'll speak from ignorance.

 

[kotori]

Never known anyone who has (or rather known that they have). Did you see the film Secretary yet? The female character in that was a cutter, but she gave it up for love, to become a submissive. I guess the analogy is that she needed more physical stimuli than the "average" person to feel anything.

 

[seXieleXie]

kotori: i don't want to encourage this 14 year old cutter to take up a BDSM relationship.

 

[Olivianna]

A good friend of mine cuts himself - or at least DID, when I was around him more often in college. His arms are covered in scars. Some days, when he'd be wearing long sleeves, his recent cuts would suddenly come into view for a brief moment - it was weird. I never brought it up. We were close, but some things we just never discussed (he was also anorexic and although brilliant, dealt with a slew of other neurosis).
I, back in my raucous college years, engaged in some amateur cutting on one particular night when I was very down in the dumps and feeling sort of "out of my body." As I recall, the impetus for me was just the fact that I could. In a rather disturbing way, I guess, it was a life-affirming act. Like - oh, there - there is my blood. It also allowed me to feel something real and intensely during a moment when I felt plainly numb. You know, in some cultures, cutting is a cathartic experience that is incorporated into rituals. Anyway, I haven't done it since - I wasn't very good at it.

 

[lickerish]

Just so you know, there is a Blurty journal community made by cutters, for cutters. Might provide some insight.

 

[Olivianna]

14 year old cutter

Ah. Are you a friend of him/her? If he/she trusts you, I would confront him/her in a comfortable sort of manner. Other people notice these things too, but just never say anything because they don't know what to say, or just assume it would be too awkward to bring up. Troubled teenagers are perpetually at risk of slipping through the cracks, so to speak. That you (or a parent/ sibling. peer) would reach out and show that you are willing to cross boundaries to attempt to "enter" their world could really make a difference. Anyway, I'm talking out of my ass. Maybe read up on cutting to get a better perspective.

 

[S.Daedalus]

Odd...

Very weird...

I've not done it..but oddly enough had the desire to a lot lately!

Don't know why and I know it won't solve anything. But to feel something; Anything other then the feelings you’re having in the moments before the cut, it could be such a release!

- stephen

 

[kotori]

kotori: i don't want to encourage this 14 year old cutter to take up a BDSM relationship.

I didn't realize there was an actual person behind your hypothetical sounding question. I didn't mean to offer it as a "solution," just that in the film they drew some kind of analogy. Olivianna put it better than I did.

 

[SilvaTungDevil]

Try looking into Borderline Personality Disorder. It's more of an emotional intensity disorder than an actual organic mental illness, but they all run together. There has been some real advances in the treatment, through therapy, of the emotional disorders. I've seen many former cutters snap out of it with few relapses. It's really common. One thing you probably don't want to do is add fuel to the fire. Be as supportive and honest as possible with this situation.

 

[S.Daedalus]

Can I just interject, into this serious thread.

SlivaTungDevil...your AV is soooo good..

good pickens for sure!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Lex, cutting isn't like a lot of other things. Intervention seems like it would be necessary, but you really shouldn't. Just be there for him/her. Offer a listening ear without preaching.

It's very hard to do something like that because everyone will tell you that you need to stop doing it because you're hurting yourself. Common sense, right? People cut for tons of reasons and they can't just stop cutting anymore than depressed people can just buck up and be happy. It takes time and healing of whatever the demons are.

Give them an ear when they're upset, so they have an outlet for whatever emotions drive them cut before they cut. An ear that they can trust to listen and understand rather than preach and lecture.

And tomorrow, trot on into the campus counseling service center and speak with a counselor about cutting and how to best be a supportive friend to one. And get a second opinion.

 

[Shadowann2]

I started doing this when I was 12 years old. I haven't done it in years but I have been tempted to. The best way that I can explain it is that if I have physical pain to concentrate on, the internal pain is more bearable. I have to have a balance between the internal pain and the external pain.

 

[Captain Howdy]

there are many reasons for cutting.

i was just young&dumb , an wanted to see how much pain i could take. we also use to do " smilies" with lighters. i still have one from 12/13 years ago. that was the last time i did anything like that. now i get tattooed an pierced an enjoy it a hella lot better.

 

[ohiobbw]

did you ever engage in cutting or other forms of self injury? why? how old were you? have you stopped? if so, how and why did you stop? did you have anyone who helped you? is there anything anyone could have done for you to make you stop?


for those of you who know/knew cutters... what do you do? how do you try to help, if you do at all? does it work?

I used to cut myself all of the time. I started when I was in 8th grade, I was about 14 I guess. I did it because things were bad and cutting my the emotional pain something I could physically deal with. 8th grade was when it was the worst. I eventually stopped doing it so much, but I started doing other things (mostly stealing instead). I started again about 2 years ago after all of my friends abandoned me and I had a bad relationship.
The last time I did it, I decided just to kill myself. This was last spring, I had everything ready and planned but when I when to slit my wrists I couldn't. I instead wrote a list of things I wanted to do before I die.
Now I'm back to myself, I have friends again (I think) and things are better. However when I was feeling down a few weeks ago I didn't even thing to cut, I got a tattoo instead. After I got it I realized how similar the (good) pain of a tattoo was to how I felt after cutting.

So basically I just got over it myself. No one else helped me and I may end up cutting myself again, who knows.

 

[curious2c]

hmmm...not on the subject directly at hand...but in some eastern cultures there is a cutting or even blood letting involved in some sex and sexual things. It is done by a practiced and trained person. I guess that when done properly it enhances the orgasm for the cuttee. I have not gotten all the info on it but I will keep trying. Hard to get reliable facts on it though.

 

[seXieleXie]

so i'm just supposed to kick back while my sister mutilates herself and hope she outgrows it before she kills herself? is that the general consensus of this thread?

 

[Guest]

Try looking into Borderline Personality Disorder. It's more of an emotional intensity disorder than an actual organic mental illness, but they all run together. There has been some real advances in the treatment, through therapy, of the emotional disorders. I've seen many former cutters snap out of it with few relapses. It's really common. One thing you probably don't want to do is add fuel to the fire. Be as supportive and honest as possible with this situation.

Yep.


And Wellbitrin SR seems to be the best medication for it, although the impact of meds on a Borderline is less than for other mental illnesses.

 

[Guest]

so i'm just supposed to kick back while my sister mutilates herself and hope she outgrows it before she kills herself? is that the general consensus of this thread?

Not at all, but your impact will be minimal. Does she have a therapist? A Psychiatrist? If not, help her to get help but be forewarned, it will be a long process.

Cutting is a coping mechanism used for a number of reasons, and basically it needs to be "unlearned" along with teaching new ways to deal with issues while depression is alleviated.

 

[Hairgrip]

feel free to pm me. i have a strong background in dealing with cutting etc. not a cutter myself, more of a dealer as it were. am off to bed now but will be checking back on line in about 15/20hours.
Hx



http://www.selfharm.org.uk/ ***Self harm site aimed at young people, it is a
National Children's Bureau site
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/BCSW/ ***The Bristol Crisis Service for women
site - they have a phone line
http://www.selfinjury.freeserve.co.uk/ ***A 'bodys under seige' website
http://www.gtonline.net/community/mindinfo/selfharm.htm ***good listings of
other resources
http://www.self-harm.co.uk/resources.html ***resources
http://www.angelfire.com/or/kharreshome/ *** a personal site of high quality
- written by an adult who has a self-harming background
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/html/content/selfharm.cfm ***basic details
http://cebmh.warne.ox.ac.uk/ ...*** hopefully this is the right site for the
national electronic library for mental health

 

[Guest]

Nice post, HG.

 

[seXieleXie]

thank you hairgrip, storm, and everyone else. obviously this subject is close to my heart and i'm not being very objective. i'm sorry if i'm being ungrateful or flippant.


she did it before, back when i still lived at home. we talked about it, and i started making an effort to be more available to her. it seemed like that helped, like she could come to me when she was upset rather than internalizing it all.
a few nights ago she told me she was doing it again. i told my parents, and they are going to find her a therapist. however, now she isn't speaking to me at all and she blocked me from her AIM list.

i just want her to be healthy. i can't see that cutting is an acceptable coping mechanism, i just can't.

 

[Shadowann2]

I agree that it's not an acceptable coping mechanism. One thing I have learned by talking to people about this is that you really have to be a cutter to understand why people do it. If you never had the desire to cut yourself to deal with pain, you probbly never truely will. I have 7 tattoos and I got all of them when I was depressed. I never thought of it as an alternative to cutting, but it certainly makes sense!

I wish you the best of luck with your sister. I'm sure she will forgive you and come around. Just do what you can to let her know you are there for her, no matter what.