coyotesmile's long list of questions (sorry!)

[coyotesmile]

Hello everyone. I think I’ll probably be making threads with a lot of questions so I want to thank everyone ahead of time for being patient with me. As suggested by some kind users who I’ve talked to, I’ve been reading here and there about D/s relationships and I’m getting a lot of my questions answered, but a lot are raised too. I don’t want to make a separate thread for each one and clutter up this place so I’m going to try and consolidate my main questions here for input. I hope I don’t make it too confusing!

My first question is how do you go about meeting potential Dom/mes or subs? Offline I mean? I think this site is really nice but I think it’s probably really impractical of me to expect to meet who I’m looking for and who also happens to live relatively close to me

Second question. How far into the public world do you take your D/s relationship? In every day life? Outside the house? Do your friends or family know about your lifestyle?

Here’s a question I’m really curious about, and I hope some subs can give me some input. In every day, professional life I’m a really confident and extroverted girl. I’m ambitious and strong-willed. I’ve gotten turned down on a date before because the guy thought I was too intimidating. But really, in my dreams I could find someone with a strong enough personality who wouldn’t be put off by me and instead could take over and do the leading. Someone with a more dominant attitude than me. I’d like to be submissive and I think I am in relationships, but I get confused and wonder if there are other submissives out there who are not fragile flowers? Or if there are any Dom/mes who would be unhappy to have that trait in a submissive. I keep confusing myself on this point so any input would be really appreciated.

My last question (for now) is mostly for submissives, because I think that’s what I gravitate towards, though maybe I’m a switch. I don’t really know enough yet to tell. Anyway, why do you think you are a sub? I mean, on a psychological level. I’m curious if subs (female ones anyway) have had serious problems with men in their pasts. I’m wondering if that’s the reason I gravitate toward a submissive nature (in relationships). I’ve had so many weak-willed, flaky, ineffectual men (father, serious relationships) fill my life that I crave a dominant personality who I know can take care of me and support me? I want to know how other subs feel about their role and why they choose it.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m really sorry there’s so much and it’s all a little jumbled. I know a lot of what I’m asking is personal but so far everyone seems to be really open and that makes me brave enough to ask all these questions, so thank you.

 

[ecstaticsub]

First question I can't answer--I met my Dom purely by chance on-line when I wasn't even looking for one.

2nd question--My husband knows about my Dom and my sister and that's it. No one else would ever dream I was into this lifestyle. I have to keep it hidden for professional reasons both mine and my husband's.

3rd question--It seems to me that most subs are like yourself (and myself) My husband is active duty military so I have no choice but to be "in charge" over most of our day to day living because he is so rarely home. I am a professional and I am extremely strong-willed. I am also a feminist and male chavinistic attitudes really piss me off. I'm not sure why but maybe it is the willingness to let all that go is what makes submission seem even sweeter? Or maybe it is simply a chance to be able to not have all the responsibility and decision making on my shoulders. All I have to do is obey.

4th question--I have no doubt at all whether I am submissive or not. I'm a dreamer. I have always fantasised wild fantasies while masturbating since I was very young. The ones that really get me off were always ones where I was controlled by someone else. The only time I have thought of being dominant is when I think of training another female sub for my Dom. I can't see myself ever dominating a man.

Hope that helps!

 

[CutieMouse]

Hello everyone. I think I’ll probably be making threads with a lot of questions so I want to thank everyone ahead of time for being patient with me. As suggested by some kind users who I’ve talked to, I’ve been reading here and there about D/s relationships and I’m getting a lot of my questions answered, but a lot are raised too. I don’t want to make a separate thread for each one and clutter up this place so I’m going to try and consolidate my main questions here for input. I hope I don’t make it too confusing!

Pfft! We excel at sorting out confusion! LOL

My first question is how do you go about meeting potential Dom/mes or subs? Offline I mean? I think this site is really nice but I think it’s probably really impractical of me to expect to meet who I’m looking for and who also happens to live relatively close to me

Okie dokie-

A lot of people put personals ads up at Lit's BDSM Personals section, or other sites such as collarme.com, bondage.com, or alt.com. Weed through the asshats/wankers/horney net geeks (HNGs) and Trolls, then get to know the nice ones a bit, and meet for coffee or something. If you're meeting someone off the internet, do the safe thing, and double check their background, get ID/contact information that can be verified prior to meeting, and set up safe calls (phone call from someone who has all the verifying information, and has a code word/question set up to ask you while on the coffee date, so they know if you need to get the hell out of there, or are doing okay).

An alternative to personals ads is finding a local organization to attend- usually in the form of a munch (social gathering in a local restaurant, low key, no kinky stuff... just kinky people having dinner/drinks/conversation). Evil_Geoff should be by at some point with the links for finding your local groups. Lots of local organizations also run lecture series/workshops/etc.

Second question. How far into the public world do you take your D/s relationship? In every day life? Outside the house? Do your friends or family know about your lifestyle?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship right now that would probably be deemed "24/7"... as far as anyone else is concerned, I'm a very attentive Lover. LOL I carry his keys/wallet in my purse, I'm the one who runs into the market for a newspaper so he doesn't have to, I make sure he has a perfectly made cup of coffee any time he wants it, I serve him first at dinner, etc, and I generally do stupid small attentive things for him in public, that most women no longer do. In private, it's the same, just kicked up a few notches... The general public doesn't need to know about our private relationship; close friends will eventually figure it out/be told. (His closest friends haven't totally figured it out yet, but are so freaking jealous already. LOL)

Here’s a question I’m really curious about, and I hope some subs can give me some input. In every day, professional life I’m a really confident and extroverted girl. I’m ambitious and strong-willed. I’ve gotten turned down on a date before because the guy thought I was too intimidating. But really, in my dreams I could find someone with a strong enough personality who wouldn’t be put off by me and instead could take over and do the leading. Someone with a more dominant attitude than me. I’d like to be submissive and I think I am in relationships, but I get confused and wonder if there are other submissives out there who are not fragile flowers? Or if there are any Dom/mes who would be unhappy to have that trait in a submissive. I keep confusing myself on this point so any input would be really appreciated.

This is the falicy of the doormat/spineless submissive. I am in the position I am in, because I am strong, confidant, intelligent, and capable... if I wasn't he wouldn't want me so damned much. I own a small business, I manage all sorts of things, I am a great decision maker, and generally strong minded person - all assets to a D/s relationship (of the sort I seek).

My last question (for now) is mostly for submissives, because I think that’s what I gravitate towards, though maybe I’m a switch. I don’t really know enough yet to tell. Anyway, why do you think you are a sub? I mean, on a psychological level. I’m curious if subs (female ones anyway) have had serious problems with men in their pasts. I’m wondering if that’s the reason I gravitate toward a submissive nature (in relationships). I’ve had so many weak-willed, flaky, ineffectual men (father, serious relationships) fill my life that I crave a dominant personality who I know can take care of me and support me? I want to know how other subs feel about their role and why they choose it.

I dunno... I take care of people... I am really good at taking care of people; I enjoy it immensely. I'm perfectly capable of running the show, but mot comfortable playing a supportive role. After a few phone calls, J's comment about me was something along the lines of how I'm capable of (and kick ass at) carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and have done so most of my life, but that doesn't mean I deserve or need to do so... that's his job.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m really sorry there’s so much and it’s all a little jumbled. I know a lot of what I’m asking is personal but so far everyone seems to be really open and that makes me brave enough to ask all these questions, so thank you.

Keep asking questions and reading... add thoughts to threads as you think them, and you'll start sorting things out.

 

[coyotesmile]

Thanks a lot for the input! I can read all I want but I think I really prefer to talk to other, real people than read the info text book style.

Anyway, I’m a little relieved that my personality isn’t seemingly as much as a hang up as I thought it would be. I am the way I am because I have to be in order to get through life. I got stuck with a lot of responsibility and I do my best to take care of it. I’ve been concerned that submissive and ‘I can take on the world’ didn’t really equate…

 

[Chicklet]

But really, in my dreams I could find someone with a strong enough personality who wouldn’t be put off by me and instead could take over and do the leading. Someone with a more dominant attitude than me. I’d like to be submissive and I think I am in relationships, but I get confused and wonder if there are other submissives out there who are not fragile flowers? Or if there are any Dom/mes who would be unhappy to have that trait in a submissive.

The thing to keep in mind, in my opinion, is that just because someone's kinky doesn't mean they're going to be your perfect match.

Sure, some people are going to be put off by an assertive submissive. Those people aren't going to be your ideal mate. Some people are going to be turned on by your dominant nature outside of the bedroom, and even once you've got those pegged THEY might not be your ideal mate.

I classify myself as my name a lot, instead of any labels. People ask "are you this? this? that?" I say "I'm a Chicklet" except I say my name instead. The people that understand are the ones willing to accept me and all my weird personality traits, and they're the perfect match of the moment for me

Anyway, why do you think you are a sub? I mean, on a psychological level.

For me, submission and bottoming simply turns me on. I'm a masochist, I love pain. On a psychological level I can't even say... I've had ravishment/kidnapping/rape/bondage/torture fantasies since I was a child, and as far as I know absolutely no history of those things that might make me swing that way. The men in my life have been as varied as anything. My father was a strong figure in my life, but my mother was too. I've had boyfriends who were submissive, and dominant. I've had experiences with all sorts of people in my adult life.

I'm a terrible nurturer, I'm not a naturally passive person, I don't feel a strong desire to please my partners. But I like concentrating my efforts on someone, and doing things that my selfish nature doesn't agree with for someone, with the knowledge that although I'm not really enjoying it, it's a submissive act. That turns me on.

Weird? aren't we all = )

 

[kristiiam]

First, let me say hello to everyone, this is my first post. I have been a reader for a while now, but never felt compelled to post until now.

My first question is how do you go about meeting potential Dom/mes or subs? Offline I mean? I think this site is really nice but I think it’s probably really impractical of me to expect to meet who I’m looking for and who also happens to live relatively close to me

Quite by accident, I met another sub that I have become great friends with. We have discussed this very question over and over again. At the beginning of the year, we decided to start attending munches, because like you we really thought it impractical to try to find somebody on the internet. So imagine my surprise when I actually met a wonderful Dom on another site.

Second question. How far into the public world do you take your D/s relationship? In every day life? Outside the house? Do your friends or family know about your lifestyle?

I am not a public type person, my submission is known only by those who I share it with. I do defer to him on decision making, will get up and refill his coffee cup, etc. .. but I live in the south, from a small town, it seems like normal things I'm doing for him. Not just no but HELL NO .. my family does not know about this lifestyle. They would not understand in any way and would try to have Him put away for a long time for the marks he leaves on me .. if they didn't kill him first.

Here’s a question I’m really curious about, and I hope some subs can give me some input. In every day, professional life I’m a really confident and extroverted girl. I’m ambitious and strong-willed. I’ve gotten turned down on a date before because the guy thought I was too intimidating. But really, in my dreams I could find someone with a strong enough personality who wouldn’t be put off by me and instead could take over and do the leading. Someone with a more dominant attitude than me. I’d like to be submissive and I think I am in relationships, but I get confused and wonder if there are other submissives out there who are not fragile flowers? Or if there are any Dom/mes who would be unhappy to have that trait in a submissive. I keep confusing myself on this point so any input would be really appreciated.

I have an extremely dominant personality. I love to debate (aka argue), I like to see how far I can push. I like to win and seem very confident. The ongoing saying was that I needed to find a Dom with a more dominant personality than mine. When I met Him, he thought I was downright hilarious. He even commented that he was sure I scared most 'Doms' .. which actually is true. We have discussed this and he doesn't mind that I like to argue and push as long as I don't step over the (imaginary) line. I say all this to just say that there are Doms out there who understand us extroverted, strong-willed submissives. You are far from alone in this catagory, in fact there are more of us than I would have ever imagined. Not everyone wants a doormat.

My last question (for now) is mostly for submissives, because I think that’s what I gravitate towards, though maybe I’m a switch. I don’t really know enough yet to tell. Anyway, why do you think you are a sub? I mean, on a psychological level. I’m curious if subs (female ones anyway) have had serious problems with men in their pasts. I’m wondering if that’s the reason I gravitate toward a submissive nature (in relationships). I’ve had so many weak-willed, flaky, ineffectual men (father, serious relationships) fill my life that I crave a dominant personality who I know can take care of me and support me? I want to know how other subs fee about their role and why they choose it.

I grew up around very dominant men .. my father and two brothers. They were always very protective towards me and I crave that in my partner. Men who are weak do absolutely nothing for me.

 

[denalirayne]

hmmm . . . well, here's my 2 cents worth:

1 - i have no clue where to meet doms (male or female) as i didn't look for one. i found my partner & she happened to "click" as the "other half of me" in all ways. lucky for us both.

2 - we don't classify our lifestyle as d/s (not b/c it isn't, simply b/c we despise labels of any kind) and since we rarely have to make our private life known to the general public, we are saved the need to respond to such invasive questions. however, we are also not ones to play power-trip games in public for simple amusement. in order to keep our lifestyle free from speculation we limit our heavy role playing to our private space (even if that private space is located in a public environment) for our own safety & protection mostly. After all, we are both female so it would bring us unnecessary attention to air our roles in public. i am sure the notion of having a male Dom begin to whip his sub with a cat 'o nine tails at the dinner table of a local restaurant is equally as unimaginable. At least, the restaurants I've patronized so far, but there's always a first time.

3 - My wife would be the first person to tell you that I am the last thing from a "fragile flower" she can imagine - - and that's one of the primary reasons she is attracted to me. If I were a meek, mild door mat she would have nothing to do with me. After all, who wants to dominate a door mat? She LOVES my powerful, vibrant energy - - it gives her more to play with when I hand all that power over to her to use as she sees fit for our sessions. Not to get all scientific or anything, but I think the best illustration of the power of Newton's 3rd law of motion (every action has an equal and opposite reaction) is in a powerful sub (like myself) giving my energy to my partner and witnessing it come back to me with equal force, harnessed and channeled in the way only my wife, my lover can do for me.

4 - I think I may be one of the few who can honestly say that I have NEVER experienced any abuse (sexual, emotional, physical) of any kind in my life. I also dated men until my early 20's; I never realized being with a woman in a relationship was possible until after I graduated from college and left home. When I was first with a woman something in me just "clicked" and I thought, "Oh! so THIS is what I've been missing for so long!" Being with a woman just felt right.

The same can be said for my being a sub in my relationship. I never was with any of the men I dated - - there was too much at stake for me to "release" myself completely to him. It never felt safe enough to do so (again, I don't know why since I never had a reason to feel unsafe). With my first girlfriend, she simply didn't have enough "top" energy to suit me. She was the classic "butch in the streets, femme in the sheets" kind of lesbian. It was disappointing, really.

When I met my wife neither of us greeted each other with, "Hi, my name is ________ and I'm a sub/dom/whatever" - - we just kind of fell into those roles naturally & comfortably as we grew in our relationship. I adore subbing to her (and ONLY her!) b/c I love the pleasure it brings her to dominate me sexually. Ever the creative top, she gives that energy and power back to me in many delicious and sensational ways. It's a win-win for both of us.

She thinks of us as english muffins - - her "nooks" fit perfectly into my "crannies" - both in our sexual preferences & kinks (ie I LOVE being the "little girl" in fantasies & she LOVES being the "older man," a symbiotic yin-yang if you will) & in our daily lives (ie I happen to enjoy being the stereo-typical "housewife" (cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc) & she enjoys being a "husband" (ie fixing things in the house, garage, projects, etc)).

Interestingly enough, neither of us think of ourselves as being lesbians - - I still think of myself as a straight girly-girl & she thinks of herself as a boy w/ a girl's body. . . and that works for us.

I think once you find your english muffin, any labels, roles, stereo-types or images you had for yourself will cease to matter & you will finally begin to simply "be" with your partner, whomever that may be.

I wish you success and happiness on your journey & your search.

 

[Bandit58]

1) I met my Dom (now Husband) Gil_T2 here on Lit in 2002. This is my first D/s relationship and I wasn't looking for one at the time

2) In public I would say we are just like any other loving couple. I wear a collar (the one in my av) - though it looks just like a normal piece of jewellery. Our friends all know we are D/s, although most of them really don't know what it involves apart from kinky sex As for my family, they all live back in New Zealand and have no clue (and it's staying that way).

3) I am not really a confident person. I'm shy and prefer to stay in the background. However that's not to say I couldn't survive on my own if I had to, or that I'm not strong in coping with life. My Husband has chronic health issues and I am His carer - I have to be strong when He isn't feeling well it would not do for me to fall to pieces when He needs me.

I left a 23 year emotionally abusive marriage over 5 years ago. I lived on my own for nearly two years and coped quite well for someone who went straight from her parents' house to her husband's. Considering my self esteem was non existent at the beginning of that, I think I did quite well

4) I've always been a giver. Probably too much so at times.....referring to that first marriage I am happy when I have a strong caring (caring being the operative word) authority figure in my life. I love to make the person/people I love happy. Plus I love to be submissive in the bedroom.....

 

[BiBunny]

1.) I met my Master on CollarMe. I am, however, convinced that we were the only two sane people within a hundred miles of one another. There are bunches of idiots to weed through there. Another way to meet folks would be to get involved in your local BDSM community.

2.) We're a very laid-back couple. We're not involved in a 24/7 M/s relationship, but it does extend outside the bedroom. Our closest friends know we're kinky, and our families have probably accidentally discovered more about us than they wanted to know, LOL. Other than that, it's nobody's business. We don't go out of our way to hide who we are, but we don't broadcast it, either.

3.) I've been told on numerous occasions that I'm intimidating. I figure that anyone who's intimidated by me isn't someone I want to become involved with, anyway. I'm fairly quiet, but that's just a personality trait. It doesn't have anything to do with my being a mostly-submissive switch. I'm one of the strongest, most independent people I know. B. wouldn't want me any other way, either. Most Doms don't want someone they have to babysit.

4.) I don't think there's really all this deep-seated psychology behind kink that a lot of people want you to think there is. I had the most normal, boring childhood you can imagine, and I still turned out like this. I'm definitely not looking for a father figure in my life because my own father is a wonderful man who's always been there for me. If anything, I expect a man who'll treat me as well as Daddy does. *Shrug* Submitting to B. just feels natural to me. I've never been able to really submit to anyone else, but our personalities go together so well that I submit without really even thinking about it. I don't know how I can explain it better than that.

 

[pandoravampire]

My first question is how do you go about meeting potential Dom/mes or subs? Offline I mean? I think this site is really nice but I think it’s probably really impractical of me to expect to meet who I’m looking for and who also happens to live relatively close to me
you join in your local community, by attending its clubs and munches.

Second question. How far into the public world do you take your D/s relationship? In every day life? Outside the house? Do your friends or family know about your lifestyle?
You begin with bedroom only, and allow it to leak outside, for as much as you both need. Its one of those questions that you need to see how compatable your dynamic is to outside life. Its hard to be 24/7 to a date isnt it!

Here’s a question I’m really curious about, and I hope some subs can give me some input. In every day, professional life I’m a really confident and extroverted girl. I’m ambitious and strong-willed. I’ve gotten turned down on a date before because the guy thought I was too intimidating. But really, in my dreams I could find someone with a strong enough personality who wouldn’t be put off by me and instead could take over and do the leading. Someone with a more dominant attitude than me. I’d like to be submissive and I think I am in relationships, but I get confused and wonder if there are other submissives out there who are not fragile flowers? Or if there are any Dom/mes who would be unhappy to have that trait in a submissive. I keep confusing myself on this point so any input would be really appreciated.
you have to have the strength to submit to anothers will, which means controlling yourself. With much assistance from the Dom/me. But its a learning curve, and you will grow in your ability to shut the fcuk up, and do as your told with a smile accross your face. And if your work hard enough, because this is what is right for you, AND your lucky enough to meet someone who is good for you, then you'll get there. If not, dont assume its all your fault. But examne honestly why you dont submit, and discuss any difficulties with your dominant at the time. Work on it together. Rare is the dominant that is 'my way or highway' thank god. Unfortunately, its not rare, for kinky people to identify themselves as a dominant, who could not dominate a paper bag. Hey ho, that the beauty of the written worrd for you. Its harder to fake in real life. That's for sure.

My last question (for now) is mostly for submissives, because I think that’s what I gravitate towards, though maybe I’m a switch. I don’t really know enough yet to tell. Anyway, why do you think you are a sub? I mean, on a psychological level. I’m curious if subs (female ones anyway) have had serious problems with men in their pasts. I’m wondering if that’s the reason I gravitate toward a submissive nature (in relationships). I’ve had so many weak-willed, flaky, ineffectual men (father, serious relationships) fill my life that I crave a dominant personality who I know can take care of me and support me? I want to know how other subs feel about their role and why they choose it.
I have in the past, been a submissive. Until my experience and knowledge of D/s and my own needs, was sufficient to be secure in my original suspicion, that in fact, im a switch. That is a top, and for one special person, can sub for time agreed periods. But switches arent popular with non switches. They are often viewed as confused, or sitting on the fence. And there is no shortage of dominants who will tell you that you are not a switch, but a sub that has not met the right master yet. At which point, i usually vacate their breathing space, and save myself a boring conversation with a tosser.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m really sorry there’s so much and it’s all a little jumbled. I know a lot of what I’m asking is personal but so far everyone seems to be really open and that makes me brave enough to ask all these questions, so thank you.[/QUOTE]

pandoravampire

 

[sexycaz22]

My first question is how do you go about meeting potential Dom/mes or subs? Offline I mean? I think this site is really nice but I think it’s probably really impractical of me to expect to meet who I’m looking for and who also happens to live relatively close to me

Like you, I am kinda new to the BDSM lifestyle and is also looking for a Dom. For me, I have signed up with different BDSM dating/personal ad sites, as such as CollarMe, Informed Consent and of course the BDSM Personal Ads on this site! But I am also considering going to a munch as such (I am sure Evil_Geoff will come along and give you a list of your local BDSM groups/local munches)

Second question. How far into the public world do you take your D/s relationship? In every day life? Outside the house? Do your friends or family know about your lifestyle?

For me, if I DO enter a D/s relationship, I think I would like to begin in the bedroom and then gradually moving outside of the bedroom and into the rest of the house. I am not sure if I would want to have a D/s dynamic in the everyday life but then I don't have a Dom so I don't know.

As for my family and friends, NOBODY does not know about my submissive side or my interest in the BDSM lifestyle, although I am seriously considering telling one of my very closet friends, but I am not rushing my time. I don't think I would want my family to know, as I think they will not understand? But then I could not really say, this is just my thoughts.

Here’s a question I’m really curious about, and I hope some subs can give me some input. In every day, professional life I’m a really confident and extroverted girl. I’m ambitious and strong-willed. I’ve gotten turned down on a date before because the guy thought I was too intimidating. But really, in my dreams I could find someone with a strong enough personality who wouldn’t be put off by me and instead could take over and do the leading. Someone with a more dominant attitude than me. I’d like to be submissive and I think I am in relationships, but I get confused and wonder if there are other submissive out there who are not fragile flowers? Or if there are any Dom/mes who would be unhappy to have that trait in a submissive. I keep confusing myself on this point so any input would be really appreciated.

Whenever I meet a new person, I become shy and stay in my shell, and I do not say much about myself, but then this is usually in groups. When it comes to an one to one basis, it is slightly different, as long as the other person is leading. I think I am a follower in my social circle, as I am not, in generally, good at making decisions, and prefer to follow others, but lately, I have gone outside the usual group and spread my wings, and trying to meet other new people. But, still, I am shy! Despite my shyness, I do say what is on my mind, occasionally and I am very independent, so sometimes I do bottle things up or do not ask for help. In my working life, I am a tutor, teaching sign language so I do lead a lot in my working life. I enjoy teaching and I enjoy working with other tutors, and sometimes I find myself leading the team meetings, giving ideas and suggestions on how to improve teaching materials etc. So I guess I do have two personalities, in the social life, I am a little shy girl who is independent but does not ask for help and in the working life, I am more a leader, an idea person and not so shy! Strange eh?

My last question (for now) is mostly for submissives, because I think that’s what I gravitate towards, though maybe I’m a switch. I don’t really know enough yet to tell. Anyway, why do you think you are a sub? I mean, on a psychological level. I’m curious if subs (female ones anyway) have had serious problems with men in their pasts. I’m wondering if that’s the reason I gravitate toward a submissive nature (in relationships). I’ve had so many weak-willed, flaky, ineffectual men (father, serious relationships) fill my life that I crave a dominant personality who I know can take care of me and support me? I want to know how other subs feel about their role and why they choose it.

This one is really a hard question. I tried to answer this question in my online blog. However, I do think that the submissive side inside me is a naturally one and I think I were born with it. It comes out naturally as I like to please other people, I have a strong desire to do things what I am told to do, and as far as I remember, my mother used to give me a list of tasks and although I complained (quite a lot) I still did the list and almost every-time, at the end of doing the tasks, I felt satisfied, knowing that my mother would come home and see that I have done the tasks (as such as shopping, housework etc) and I will see her happy. So I guess the desire I have comes from doing the tasks for my mother. If you want to read more about what being a submissive means to me, see the link in my sig.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m really sorry there’s so much and it’s all a little jumbled. I know a lot of what I’m asking is personal but so far everyone seems to be really open and that makes me brave enough to ask all these questions, so thank you.

I have enjoyed answering the questions, and if anything, when answering the questions, it does make me think about myself, seeing how I answer and then I have a little insight into my personality. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I do look forward to answering some more of your questions, if you do have any. Thank you!

Caz

 

[coyotesmile]

Wow, thanks a lot for the great, thought out responses. I did find a list of community links on a different thread and was able to get in contact with a group in my area. I'm going to a casual meet at a restaurant next month. I'm a little nervous about it especially since I apparently will be the youngest person there. But I'm excited at the same time

Here's another question. The first time you met a group of people face to face what was it like?

 

[CutieMouse]

Here's another question. The first time you met a group of people face to face what was it like?

It was like walking into a restaurant full of people. LOL I made a point of telling the greeters I'd not attended a munch before, so they were nice enough to hand me off to someone who was really good about introducing me around/helping steer conversation (and tell me who to avoid talking to). I hung out, had a diet coke, chit chatted for 45 minutes, and went home.

One of the first ever things I did was attend a weekend conference on BDSM - perfectly boring (compared to what you might imagine), given that I was there to take classes, and I'm about as aloof a person (in large crowds) as one can get. LOL