Coping with ADD and writing/life

[darkride]

Howdy,

In my youth, there were numerous nights when I just sat and wrote til the sun was rising. The words were pouring out of my mind, and I just had to sit there and capture them all, lest they disappear.

Then - well - I blame "life" on getting in the way... Going from being single to not single certainly took away a lot of the 'me' time that I used to spend on writing, and then pulling all nighters started to feel selfish. (Not to mention... I felt very self conscious about the thought of my girlfriend reading what I was writing - I used to just write whatever story came to me, but what if she read something and felt that it was about us, when it was simply fantasy...)

I have not been diagnosed, but have no doubt that I am likely on the Autism spectrum, and probably have ADD at least. (In addition to a bunch of other acronyms, too, but who has the time or money to pay for a diagnosis..) My niece was recently diagnosed as ADHD and also hyperfocus, which her father/my brother says ticks a lot of his boxes too, and absolutely would explain a lot of my life.

So here I am, several months and 9 odd chapters into a story, with 10,000 odd readers hanging out for my next chapter, and - as much as I am enjoying writing it - there's a million other things jumping in the way of me sitting down to write. Some of them are pretty genuine/important (that whole "life" thing), but a lot of it really comes down to - I could write, but I choose other things instead.

At a larger scale - this has without doubt effected my 'career'/adult life, as despite having a tertiary degree with very good marks etc etc - there's always something that stops me finishing things. The screenplay that I wrote at university and totally failed to have the faith to try to find a producer for. The same screenplay that I began adapting into a novel that I could either seek a publisher for, or even self publish - that stalled 6 years ago...

Ahh shit, maybe this is just a pity-me-post (he says, spying a topic in the "Has this already been discussed?" section...) Meh, I don't know. Maybe spending the money on a diagnosis, and gaining some professional assistance in how to keep myself on track would be a good idea after all.

How do you keep yourself on track, if you have one of these acronym soup conditions?

Thanks.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Hi hun,

In an Uber en route to a restaurant. So can’t write much. But I also didn’t want to leave this question unanswered. There are quite a few ND types on here. So hopefully someone will have more time on a Friday night to answer than I do.

Just to say, you’re not alone.



Em

 

[AchtungNight]

I have ADD, bipolar flight of ideas, and autism also. My advice for managing them- good memory, documentation, scheduling, perspective. Reconciliation of your needs and priorities. Coping mechanisms if necessary. And isolating from bad influences. Above all, friends.

 

[RainyDayPen]

I am autistic as well but luckily I'm blessed with decent executive function skills. I found it helpful to set a writing goal every day and only do other stuff like video games when I meet my goal. It also helps that writing is my special interest and I can do it for long spans of time without feeling overworked.

Sometimes when I'm stuck on a section or chapter I realize it's because it's going in a direction that I don't like. If I'm stuck too long it's a signal I must change something about the plot or characterization etc.

My biggest worry is actually all my characters coming off as autistic but so far no one has ever given me that feedback. I think it's easier to express myself in the written word. IRL I am not capable of this kind of clear communication.

 

[darkride]

Thank-you @EmilyMiller, @AchtungNight and @RainyDayPen

Just got out and mowed the lawn. Physical exercise is a good thing. (No, it's not he middle of the night, here.) And so is having people to talk to.

I think being a good writer, you need to be a bit atypical.

Generally I get by in life, but it very much feels like "existing" rather than thriving... especially when I compare myself to my high school cohort of doctors, lawyers, business owners... that's never a fun game.

The chapter I'm writing to write - it hadn't had a lot of pre-thought during the planning stage. I guess that's not helping me. What happens in the next chapter is probably what I want to be writing...

I don't worry about my characters being pegged as Autistic... but I do think to myself that my characters are often - well, the speak with my voice. Not literally but - well most of my characters are middle class, fairly well spoken... they know all of my vocabulary. lol And I think that might make them a bit like cardboard cut outs sometimes...

 

[Bramblethorn]

So here I am, several months and 9 odd chapters into a story, with 10,000 odd readers hanging out for my next chapter, and - as much as I am enjoying writing it - there's a million other things jumping in the way of me sitting down to write. Some of them are pretty genuine/important (that whole "life" thing), but a lot of it really comes down to - I could write, but I choose other things instead.

At a larger scale - this has without doubt effected my 'career'/adult life, as despite having a tertiary degree with very good marks etc etc - there's always something that stops me finishing things. The screenplay that I wrote at university and totally failed to have the faith to try to find a producer for. The same screenplay that I began adapting into a novel that I could either seek a publisher for, or even self publish - that stalled 6 years ago...

Ahh shit, maybe this is just a pity-me-post (he says, spying a topic in the "Has this already been discussed?" section...) Meh, I don't know. Maybe spending the money on a diagnosis, and gaining some professional assistance in how to keep myself on track would be a good idea after all.

There's a lot to be said for and against diagnoses. If you find that the kind of self-help strategies that work for autistic/ADHD people work for you, and if you find that a community where you feel at home, you don't need a doctor's permission to embrace that. The only time I side-eye self-diagnosis is when it's somebody who just got caught being an asshole and needs a handy excuse for it.

For ADHD, some people find medication helpful, and if that's something you want to explore then you will need a diagnosis for that. It can also be handy if you need to ask for accommodations in a workplace/etc. OTOH, having a diagnosis on record can be harmful for some things, and it may be worth thinking through the legal implications of that.

How do you keep yourself on track, if you have one of these acronym soup conditions?

Those "readers hanging out for my next chapter" are a big part of how I managed to finish my two long stories here. I had a rule of writing one chapter ahead of what I posted. That way, I could always tell myself "you've already written the next chapter, it'll feel great when people read and react to it, you don't want to waste all the work you did on that! So let's write the one after that, and then you can release it." Somehow that feels more persuasive than trying to motivate myself with the reaction to something I haven't written yet.

The second of those stories got held up for a year around the middle, and getting back into it was hard; again, if I hadn't had a bunch of readers waiting very politely for me, I probably would've never gotten it together.

Finding yourself a cheer squad of like-minded writers can also be helpful.

I would also say though, that writing can be draining and it's entirely legitimate to take a break when you need your spoons for other things. I lost a close friend last year, and I spent a long time just keeping on top of the things that needed to be done: work, friends, family. Writing fell off the to-do for a while and I don't feel bad about doing that. Now I'm gradually getting back into it.

My biggest worry is actually all my characters coming off as autistic but so far no one has ever given me that feedback. I think it's easier to express myself in the written word. IRL I am not capable of this kind of clear communication.

This is something I used to worry about, too. But then I remembered that plenty of authors have made entire careers writing all their main characters as non-autistic (...white, male, straight, ...) Focussing on stories about autistic/ish people is just as legitimate, and it's an underserved market. And I don't have to tell anybody in this thread that having a bunch of autistic characters doesn't mean they're all the same.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

It seems like everybody and they grand maamie got add/adhd. I get it, though. I also find time to write regardless of what's going on in life... except when depression is kicking my ass. I got two kids, had partners, still found me time. When I was delivering pizzas and driving a taxi, I still had time to write.

 

[AchtungNight]

Patience is a big part of it. And time management, as others have said.

 

[Altissimus]

I think being a good writer, you need to be a bit atypical.

100%. 200% around here.

 

[jsmiam]

On a different track, look at it this way: you mention taking care of some real life obligations instead of writing. We who indulge our “I’m a writer” mindset (or is it fantasy?) and fritter away major parts of our lives writing here for free, maybe it’s the writing that’s the irresponsible time wasting, not the other way around.

So think about patting yourself on the back for making improvements (I’m not saying “problems solved”, just a little progress) in how you prioritize life obligations?

Btw, rest assured, I’m an expert at procrastinating/doing what’s more enjoyable vs what’s more important too. Embrace the “grownup” moments. Let the endorphin rush of actually making a wise prioritization choice once in a while be part of your “self therapication.”

 

[RainyDayPen]

It does help in some ways being atypical. I was forced to observe people in great detail to understand what others understood without a second thought. And all fiction is stylized to some extent, so much dialogue normal to all fictional media would seem awkward in real life.

Anyway, I'm glad you got out OP and felt a little better. I can relate with comparisons to others. The great majority of autistic adults are not employed at all. So much of the working world is social connections and saying the right things to the right people. All the people I know earning six or more figures are highly socially skilled (to the point where they scare me, seeming inauthentic to my eyes.)

And it's normal for your voices to come off a bit like your own background. As long as you're not saying the character grew up dirt poor but somehow they sound perfectly educated and reference aspects of life they wouldn't know.

Anyway, truly comparison is the thief of joy. Especially for people like us. The way I get by is by finding my joy in all the little things in life. Maybe I don't make six figures, but I am very excited about this new tea I've got, a video game I'm playing with my partner, and a book I've been enjoying. It's hard to steal my happiness when I find it just about everywhere.

 

[oneagainst]

Nah, fuck that. Hyperfocus is not a disability it's a superpower. Locking in and doing 4k words a day when AH is littered with authors who talk about getting one story out in 3 months? Bring it.

Also, write about people on the spectrum. The insight you might bring that the world does not conform to A, B and C is absolutely invaluable. We're here to show the other side of the coin after all. We are by definition the path least travelled.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've always been flighty, hard to focus for long, hard to listen to someone for more than a few minutes in a conversation, and jumping from one task to another in work. I work in a circular fashion, start something, move on, move on, come back, repeat, repeat until everything's done. I could for some reason spend hours writing

Until a couple years ago, now its a few paragraphs and what's on You tube, let's check the e-bay store, e-mails etc...My wife sent me to a colleague to be tested and I have 21 of the 25 signs of ADHD and odds are have always had it to some extent, keeping in mind I'm from the generation where it was "daydreaming" and a smack on the head and "pay attention" was the solution.

I can see my focus getting worse, and of course they suggested some medications I could try.

But...

There was an author here that I used to chat with all the time an complained about their ADD getting so bad they were struggling at work and he needed to do something. He went on a medication and next time he e-mailed said he's much better at work and in general, but has found he can no longer write. That for whatever reason the meds helping him in one area seemed to adversely affect his creativity. I've since heard this from a couple of other people, one a writer one an artist.

So...they could be flukes, and no way any person prescribing this will own this as a side effect, and its the reason I won't go on anything.

I've gone back to meditation, something I stopped a few years ago, and have been literally yelling at myself in my head during the course of the day "No, you need to stay on this, no, we don't need to see what's on e-bay you checked five minutes ago...no, you don't have new e-mails etc....and I wrote all that and more down and its taped to the side of my computer.

It's a battle, and one I could get help with, but I don't know that I want to risk the cost. I have an odd mind(fill in your jokes) but its true. For lack of a better term left brain thinker could apply. I come to solutions to problems and go about work and other things in a completely unorthodox way, but it always works. I don't want to mess with my head.

That and my one experience with a low dose sedative to 'take the edge off' caused me to be moody, snappy, and led to a couple of all out fits of rage. They gave me something different, same effect as of course the paradox with most things to 'slow you down' technically speed things up in a way, so...yeah..no to any meds. I've struggled with anger issues my entire life, I don't need to keep trying things and risking a serious incident, especially these days where everyone out there is crazy.

 

[AchtungNight]

I’m the same way as the above regarding medication horror stories I’ve heard for my add. Calm down, focus on what you must do, get it done. That works for me. Other people can take medication if they want it and get a prescription. I’ll remain free of the side effects and hopefully be ok.

I also have a recurring nightmare of something I saw at my police academy training regarding mental illness. A real life person in a straitjacket in an asylum constantly moaning- “I hate this place! Nothing works here! The medications… don’t work!”

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I've always been flighty, hard to focus for long, hard to listen to someone for more than a few minutes in a conversation, and jumping from one task to another in work. I work in a circular fashion, start something, move on, move on, come back, repeat, repeat until everything's done. I could for some reason spend hours writing

Until a couple years ago, now its a few paragraphs and what's on You tube, let's check the e-bay store, e-mails etc...My wife sent me to a colleague to be tested and I have 21 of the 25 signs of ADHD and odds are have always had it to some extent, keeping in mind I'm from the generation where it was "daydreaming" and a smack on the head and "pay attention" was the solution.

I can see my focus getting worse, and of course they suggested some medications I could try.

But...

There was an author here that I used to chat with all the time an complained about their ADD getting so bad they were struggling at work and he needed to do something. He went on a medication and next time he e-mailed said he's much better at work and in general, but has found he can no longer write. That for whatever reason the meds helping him in one area seemed to adversely affect his creativity. I've since heard this from a couple of other people, one a writer one an artist.

So...they could be flukes, and no way any person prescribing this will own this as a side effect, and its the reason I won't go on anything.

I've gone back to meditation, something I stopped a few years ago, and have been literally yelling at myself in my head during the course of the day "No, you need to stay on this, no, we don't need to see what's on e-bay you checked five minutes ago...no, you don't have new e-mails etc....and I wrote all that and more down and its taped to the side of my computer.

It's a battle, and one I could get help with, but I don't know that I want to risk the cost. I have an odd mind(fill in your jokes) but its true. For lack of a better term left brain thinker could apply. I come to solutions to problems and go about work and other things in a completely unorthodox way, but it always works. I don't want to mess with my head.

That and my one experience with a low dose sedative to 'take the edge off' caused me to be moody, snappy, and led to a couple of all out fits of rage. They gave me something different, same effect as of course the paradox with most things to 'slow you down' technically speed things up in a way, so...yeah..no to any meds. I've struggled with anger issues my entire life, I don't need to keep trying things and risking a serious incident, especially these days where everyone out there is crazy.

I was on meds in middle school and they put me to sleep. Plus I had to the office to get it. Now that I think about it; I think I was the only student that did, or it felt that way. I was already an outcast before some how the students found out about it.

 

[lovecraft68]

I was on meds in middle school and they put me to sleep. Plus I had to the office to get it. Now that I think about it; I think I was the only student that did, or it felt that way. I was already an outcast before some how the students found out about it.

It was rare for any kid to be on meds back years ago, I mean even allergies, no one really had them. Now...I can just imagine the pharmacy they have in the Nurse's office with all the meds doctors and parents are putting their kids on.

I was also an outcast. When you set a desk on fire in third grade that stays with you for a long time.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I don't publish stories in chapter format. If I'm doing a series that each chapter adds to the story, I try to have them all done before I start. If it reads like a novella, and I publish it whole and complete. The series I have are either not tightly connected, or I find each chapter as I get inspired to write it. Mr. Lucky isn't whole or complete, but each part is stand-alone and doesn't require you to have read the other parts. That said, their only two parts so far, though two other parts are outlined. I don't know that I have AADD, but suspect I might.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

It was rare for any kid to be on meds back years ago, I mean even allergies, no one really had them. Now...I can just imagine the pharmacy they have in the Nurse's office with all the meds doctors and parents are putting their kids on.

I was also an outcast. When you set a desk on fire in third grade that stays with you for a long time.

I don't make a habit of giving out my age online, to save judgement, but I'm 35 and middle school wasn't that long ago. I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and some of my outcast nature was purposely my fault, the rest was unintentional. Other than the one friend I had, I only kinda got along with some of the white girls, depending, like how I liked Backstreet Boys and N*Sync.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I don't publish stories in chapter format. If I'm doing a series that each chapter adds to the story, I try to have them all done before I start. If it reads like a novella, and I publish it whole and complete. The series I have are either not tightly connected, or I find each chapter as I get inspired to write it. Mr. Lucky isn't whole or complete, but each part is stand-alone and doesn't require you to have read the other parts. That said, their only two parts so far, though two other parts are outlined. I don't know that I have AADD, but suspect I might.

I have a series of novels I have been working on, that are kinda like you describe. Each one revolves around different characters, take place in different years, has cameos from some other characters from other books. Except for one of them that's an alternate universe. What ties them together is they take place in the same city. I decided I was going to take some of them and make them novellas or shorter.

 

[lovecraft68]

I don't make a habit of giving out my age online, to save judgement, but I'm 35 and middle school wasn't that long ago. I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and some of my outcast nature was purposely my fault, the rest was unintentional. Other than the one friend I had, I only kinda got along with some of the white girls, depending, like how I liked Backstreet Boys and N*Sync.

I have twenty years on you so we're talking 70's for me for grammar school and early to mid 80's for middle/high school. Somewhat different than your time, vastly different from today.

I was an outcast because I was a foster kid so got made fun of a lot, then when I started playing sports and was good, some of them tried to be my friend and I told them fuck you then, fuck you now.

Over the years I had a very small handful of friends and they were real friends and I treated them that way. The rest could live or die for all I cared

To this day I feel that way.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've always been flighty, hard to focus for long, hard to listen to someone for more than a few minutes in a conversation, and jumping from one task to another in work. I work in a circular fashion, start something, move on, move on, come back, repeat, repeat until everything's done. I could for some reason spend hours writing

Until a couple years ago, now its a few paragraphs and what's on You tube, let's check the e-bay store, e-mails etc...My wife sent me to a colleague to be tested and I have 21 of the 25 signs of ADHD and odds are have always had it to some extent, keeping in mind I'm from the generation where it was "daydreaming" and a smack on the head and "pay attention" was the solution.

I can see my focus getting worse, and of course they suggested some medications I could try.

But...

There was an author here that I used to chat with all the time an complained about their ADD getting so bad they were struggling at work and he needed to do something. He went on a medication and next time he e-mailed said he's much better at work and in general, but has found he can no longer write. That for whatever reason the meds helping him in one area seemed to adversely affect his creativity. I've since heard this from a couple of other people, one a writer one an artist.

So...they could be flukes, and no way any person prescribing this will own this as a side effect, and its the reason I won't go on anything.

Different people have different experiences with ADHD meds. I've heard from some people who had the same experience you did, and I know other creatives who take them and keep on creating. But if it's not working out, if the positives don't outweigh the negatives, you can stop taking them.

I've gone back to meditation, something I stopped a few years ago, and have been literally yelling at myself in my head during the course of the day "No, you need to stay on this, no, we don't need to see what's on e-bay you checked five minutes ago...no, you don't have new e-mails etc....and I wrote all that and more down and its taped to the side of my computer.

It's a battle, and one I could get help with, but I don't know that I want to risk the cost. I have an odd mind(fill in your jokes) but its true. For lack of a better term left brain thinker could apply. I come to solutions to problems and go about work and other things in a completely unorthodox way, but it always works. I don't want to mess with my head.

I think that's a pretty common feeling for people with ADHD, partly because a lot of the things that work for "normal" people just don't work for us, so we're used to distrusting other people's solutions. I've always been very wary of drugs because it took a long time to get myself to some kind of functional balance point and I didn't want to risk that.

That and my one experience with a low dose sedative to 'take the edge off' caused me to be moody, snappy, and led to a couple of all out fits of rage. They gave me something different, same effect as of course the paradox with most things to 'slow you down' technically speed things up in a way, so...yeah..no to any meds.

That paradoxical effect seems to happen a lot with ADHD. When I was a kid I hurt myself and the doctors gave me a "sedative", and a few minutes later I was bouncing off the walls. I don't drink much because alcohol is more likely to make me feel edgy than relaxed.

Some of the common meds for ADHD are based on amphetamine. For most people it's a stimulant, for ADHD it often helps people settle down and focus.

(Sad to say, none of the meds I've tried do much for me, as far as I can tell. Maybe a small benefit but nowhere near the success some of my friends have had with it.)

 

[SeraphNocturne]

ADHD here. I plot out stories extensively to help keep myself on track, and that works pretty well until I have multiple ideas coming at me. In my experience I also don't do too well trying to write more than one thing at a time, it's easier for me to get things done if I focus on one story and then move on to the next in line. Helpful hints for maintaining focus? Write everything out. Giving myself to-do lists and trying to adhere to them in specific time frames manages some of the easy distraction... and lastly, coffee is my go to for boosting focus. That doesn't always work, honestly sometimes caffeine does the absolute opposite thing, especially if I'm well rested. I get relaxed and maybe even sleepy. But if I'm operating on my usual sleep deprivation, coffee is a decent boost and helps me to focus.

 

[darkride]

Was doubting starting this post, but I'm glad I did now.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Howdy,

In my youth, there were numerous nights when I just sat and wrote til the sun was rising. The words were pouring out of my mind, and I just had to sit there and capture them all, lest they disappear.

Then - well - I blame "life" on getting in the way... Going from being single to not single certainly took away a lot of the 'me' time that I used to spend on writing, and then pulling all nighters started to feel selfish. (Not to mention... I felt very self conscious about the thought of my girlfriend reading what I was writing - I used to just write whatever story came to me, but what if she read something and felt that it was about us, when it was simply fantasy...)

I have not been diagnosed, but have no doubt that I am likely on the Autism spectrum, and probably have ADD at least. (In addition to a bunch of other acronyms, too, but who has the time or money to pay for a diagnosis..) My niece was recently diagnosed as ADHD and also hyperfocus, which her father/my brother says ticks a lot of his boxes too, and absolutely would explain a lot of my life.

So here I am, several months and 9 odd chapters into a story, with 10,000 odd readers hanging out for my next chapter, and - as much as I am enjoying writing it - there's a million other things jumping in the way of me sitting down to write. Some of them are pretty genuine/important (that whole "life" thing), but a lot of it really comes down to - I could write, but I choose other things instead.

At a larger scale - this has without doubt effected my 'career'/adult life, as despite having a tertiary degree with very good marks etc etc - there's always something that stops me finishing things. The screenplay that I wrote at university and totally failed to have the faith to try to find a producer for. The same screenplay that I began adapting into a novel that I could either seek a publisher for, or even self publish - that stalled 6 years ago...

Ahh shit, maybe this is just a pity-me-post (he says, spying a topic in the "Has this already been discussed?" section...) Meh, I don't know. Maybe spending the money on a diagnosis, and gaining some professional assistance in how to keep myself on track would be a good idea after all.

How do you keep yourself on track, if you have one of these acronym soup conditions?

Thanks.

Feels like a long time since I first replied to this. Truth be told, I worry about taking about this area. Acronym soup is right. The way people’s brains work is highly variable. We talk about a spectrum, but that is too linear. It’s not one axis, it’s many. And different people can be located in different places with the same acronym allocated.

I’ve learned that though certain sets of symptoms get tagged with certain labels, two people who ostensibly share a diagnosis may have quite different experiences. Equally, the demarcation lines are blurry. Some behaviors are part of different syndromes, or related to something else entirely .

My other concern is that my experience is a pretty lightweight one, especially compared to others mentioned here. I’ve never been specifically medicated for autism. I have had medication for anxiety and for depression. Some of these drugs are also used in conjunction with “treating” (mitigating?) elements of autism, or related problems. My anxiety and depression were mostly trauma response, but perhaps exacerbated by underlying issues. It’s really tough to disentangle these things.

I’ve never really regarded myself as creative. I’m science girl. My writing is sometimes clinical, even when dealing with emotions. Given I’ve only had meds sporadically, and that I don’t really see myself as creative, it’s hard to talk about the impact. I guess there hasn’t been one.

I don’t know what influence ASD has had on my writing. On my life? I don’t think I ever crossed into being hypersexual. But maybe my libido is pretty high. Maybe I’m more open to trying stuff. Or dissociating it from consequences. Maybe I want to connect better with people to compensate.

When I was in science, it was hard to come across people who weren’t at least a bit like me. I know it’s a stereotype, but there is some truth to it. My work now is details focused, which fits me. But I also manage a team, which is obviously about more than my technical ability. I think I do OK. I have to try hard. Then I’ve never had any lack of empathy (that word is misused in an ASD context IMO) and I generally function well.

Again I didn’t start doing it from an ASD perspective, but I’ve found CBT helps me in general. Particularly with being anxious and dealing with criticism. I know it doesn’t work for everyone.

So - my experience is pretty mild, and I feel a bit of a fraud even going on about it.

But there you are.

FWIW, I had my Eden Baker character “come out” as autistic recently and had another supporting character in the same story also on the spectrum. That’s the first time I have been explicit about anything in my writing. But it’s not a major plot point. In fact, I probably drew the guy a bit stereotypically TBH. Eden is closer to my own experience.

Em

 

[stickygirl]

Feels like a long time since I first replied to this. Truth be told, I worry about taking about this area. Acronym soup is right. The way people’s brains work is highly variable. We talk about a spectrum, but that is too linear. It’s not one axis, it’s many. And different people can be located in different places with the same acronym allocated.

I’ve learned that though certain sets of symptoms get tagged with certain labels, two people who ostensibly share a diagnosis may have quite different experiences. Equally, the demarcation lines are blurry. Some behaviors are part of different syndromes, or related to something else entirely .

My other concern is that my experience is a pretty lightweight one, especially compared to others mentioned here. I’ve never been specifically medicated for autism. I have had medication for anxiety and for depression. Some of these drugs are also used in conjunction with “treating” (mitigating?) elements of autism, or related problems. My anxiety and depression were mostly trauma response, but perhaps exacerbated by underlying issues. It’s really tough to disentangle these things.

I’ve never really regarded myself as creative. I’m science girl. My writing is sometimes clinical, even when dealing with emotions. Given I’ve only had meds sporadically, and that I don’t really see myself as creative, it’s hard to talk about the impact. I guess there hasn’t been one.


Em

Treating a symptom and not a cause is all too common with medical practices who are under resourced, under time constraints or unaware of the fire in the room as they open a window to let out the smoke. AFAIK you can't medicate for ASD, but they can be a sticky-plaster to get you through a problem with which you're struggling. Clearly unless you tackle the cause, you'll continue to struggle and needs the meds. ( Just for fun, people who are ASD often react differently to medication, but they'll give you something to relieve the side-effects .... )

Who is the best person to find the cause? Often you, but despite having the brain the size of a planet we all need an outside perspective: it can be a chance remark, something we read or see online or by speaking to a decent counsellor. Even the diagnosis is helpful: initially prompting you to recatalogue every memory, but then hopefully learning to forgive yourself and your short-comings. No, dammit, you are not invincible... and that's okay.

So when I hear 'I'm only a little bit autistic so ....' a bell rings in my head . It's not the degree of severity by itself, but the effect it has on your life. An alcoholic may function fine 90% of the time, then they drop down dead from organ failure. You may function fine for most of the time, but when things go wrong it's catastrophic... and that's not good.

I'm kinda jealous of people that stim, because when I see someone do it, I know just how they feel. My little-bit-of-autism won't fucking let me do that. I've long since learned to look at people's eyes but forget the toll it takes on me to do it. When people hug me they're hugging anxiety into me.

I've written my autism into my characters, not to be preachy, but to make them fallible and real. I admit there is a therapeutic value in putting it down on paper ( for me anyway ). If nothing else, I think writing about an autistic character normalises it for NT folks. Same for any mental health issue - if you don't speak about it, no one gets the chance to learn... which is kinda selfish

That'll be $1.50
I am not a counsellor and any opinions expressed here are purely fantasy and mostly BS