Cookie's Couch...

[Tequila Sunrise]

Dear Doc . . .

Dear Dr. Cookie,

A friend of mine (we'll call her Mrs. TS) recently had an affair that lasted for six months and culminated in her abandoning her husband of 20 years and their 14 year old daughter for an entire week. Mrs. TS needs to know how she can win back the trust that it took 20 years to build between herself and her spouse. Can you offer any insight into this?

TS

 

[Native Alien]

Hey Doc, would you agree with this ? Is it really me.


You are a Sex Freak!

While your antics haven't landed you in jail...
They have probably landed you in some relationship hot water.
So you like sex... love it in fact. Isn't that how we're built?

You've done it standing, sitting, but never shitting.
And you always have a vibe in your pocket.
You're most likely to be the biggest flirt... not freak.

Advice? Stay away from those who give you guilt trips.
Monogamy is probably not for you. Find some other free spirits.
When the rules are thrown away, the sex will be that much better.

 

[biggbear8]

Hey Doc, would you agree with this ? Is it really me.


You are a Sex Freak!

While your antics haven't landed you in jail...
They have probably landed you in some relationship hot water.
So you like sex... love it in fact. Isn't that how we're built?

You've done it standing, sitting, but never shitting.
And you always have a vibe in your pocket.
You're most likely to be the biggest flirt... not freak.

Advice? Stay away from those who give you guilt trips.
Monogamy is probably not for you. Find some other free spirits.
When the rules are thrown away, the sex will be that much better.

hey native alien i agree with that lol

you are a beautiful lass and a wonderful lady

 

[cookiejar]

Hi Cookie! Don't have any problems and don't need therapy, but thought I would come by and see how you are, being around all these crazy ppl all day!

Hey Toni...sure you don't have a problem or two? I could alwaya ask AA....

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

Hello Cookie!

Just wanted to drop in on the Doc and say hi. I hope your day was fantastic and your night is even better. Any problem patients today?

 

[cookiejar]

durning therpy i start telling jokes give me more voltage

Subject: She said . . . He said
> >>
> >>
> >>He said . . ..
> >> I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to
> >>put in it.
> >> She said . . You wear pants don't you?
> >> **********************
> >> He said . .. .
> >> Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
> >> She said . .
> >> That's a good idea - you stand by the
> >> ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
> >> **********************
> >> He said .. . ..
> >> What have you been doing with all the
> >> grocery money I gave you?
> >> She said . . Turn sideways and
> >> look in the mirror!
> >> ************************
> >> On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My
> >> husband follows me everywhere"
> >> Written just below it . . . "I do not"
> >> ************************
> >> Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring
> >> men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
> >> A. Both of them.
> >> ***************************
> >> Q. How does a man show that he is
> >> planning for the future?
> >> A. He buys two cases of beer.
> >> ******************************
> >> Q. What is the difference between men and
> >> government bonds?
> >> A. The bonds mature.
> >> ********************************
> >> Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
> >> A. So men can remember them.
> >> ********************************
> >> Q. How many men does it take to change a
> >> roll of toilet paper?
> >> A. We don't know; it has never happened.
> >> ********************************
> >> Q. Why is it difficult to find men who
> >> are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
> >> A. They already have boyfriends.
> >> *********************************
> >> Q. What do you call a woman who knows
> >> where her husband is every night?
> >> A. A widow.
> >> ***********************************
> >> Q. Why are married women heavier than
> >> single women?
> >> A. Single women come home, see what's in
> >> the fridge and go to bed.
> >> Married women come home, see what's in
> >> bed and go to the fridge.
> >> **************************************
> >> Q. What is the one thing that all men at
> >> singles bars have in common?
> >> A. They're married.
> >> ************************************
> >> Man says to God:
> >> "God, why did you make woman so
> >> beautiful?"
> >> God says: "So you would love her."
> >> But God," the man says, "why did you make
> >> her so dumb?"
> >> God says: "So she would love you."
>
> enjoy

LOL...ty Bear

 

[cookiejar]

Doctor,doctor
help me please
i feel like a commercial
for almond joy

http://www.pointshop.com/id-1591/ImgUpload/P_267753_282065.jpg

just like the candy
sometimes
i feel like a nut

Actually Oman I have always had the hots for Mr. Peanut...wonder what he has under his shell??


http://www.toymuseum.com/inside/c11/3237037.gif

 

[cookiejar]

thank you for giving me a smile on a sad day hun

Feel free to come here anytime for a laugh LKP...you of course know I'm wackier than my patients...

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Dear Doc . . .

Dear Dr. Cookie,

A friend of mine (we'll call her Mrs. TS) recently had an affair that lasted for six months and culminated in her abandoning her husband of 20 years and their 14 year old daughter for an entire week. Mrs. TS needs to know how she can win back the trust that it took 20 years to build between herself and her spouse. Can you offer any insight into this?

TS

Uh huh...uh huh...I'm listening....uh huh...uh huh....


Ummm TS? What were you saying?...I was too busy noticing how you filled your pants out...

 

[cookiejar]

Hey Doc, would you agree with this ? Is it really me.


You are a Sex Freak!

While your antics haven't landed you in jail...
They have probably landed you in some relationship hot water.
So you like sex... love it in fact. Isn't that how we're built?

You've done it standing, sitting, but never shitting.
And you always have a vibe in your pocket.
You're most likely to be the biggest flirt... not freak.

Advice? Stay away from those who give you guilt trips.
Monogamy is probably not for you. Find some other free spirits.
When the rules are thrown away, the sex will be that much better.

NA...actually this is pretty tame for you...you better retake the test and no lying!!

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Hello Cookie!

Just wanted to drop in on the Doc and say hi. I hope your day was fantastic and your night is even better. Any problem patients today?

Hi NC...my nights are usually better

I hypnotized the lot and they worshipped cookie all day...

http://www.agr.state.ne.us/photos/nayi02/photo5.jpg

 

[omahaman2]

Actually Oman I have always had the hots for Mr. Peanut...wonder what he has under his shell??


http://www.toymuseum.com/inside/c11/3237037.gif

here's a pic of his um um um

http://www.usda.gov/oc/photo/b95c6486.jpg

 

[cookiejar]

here's a pic of his um um um

http://www.usda.gov/oc/photo/b95c6486.jpg

Hell Oman they look unsalted!!

Oh well I will have to spice them up myself...

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

Re: Re: Hello Cookie!

Hi NC...my nights are usually better

I hypnotized the lot and they worshipped cookie all day...

http://www.agr.state.ne.us/photos/nayi02/photo5.jpg

thanks for my limerick. I responded with one of my own. Check it out. I did just edit it to make is sound better.

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Re: Re: Hello Cookie!

thanks for my limerick. I responded with one of my own. Check it out. I did just edit it to make is sound better.

I read it and thinking up a suitable retort...

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello Cookie!

I read it and thinking up a suitable retort...

You started it! I just retaliated

 

[Native Alien]

Okay Doc, does this sound more like me?

You are a Circus Freak!

Sex standing on your head? Check!
Prison sex fantasies? Check!
Triple penetration? Check!

You've done more stuff than Dr. Ruth has heard of!
A peaceful Saturday involves installing a sex swing...
Or recovering from last night's flogging section.

Advice? Well, you don't need any in the kink department.
But I'd say, slow down, let your partner take the lead.
You might be surprised how it feels to be the one with your legs in the air.

 

[Tequila Sunrise]

Re: Re: Dear Doc . . .

Uh huh...uh huh...I'm listening....uh huh...uh huh....


Ummm TS? What were you saying?...I was too busy noticing how you filled your pants out...

Gee thanks, Doc. How are ya today, cutie pie? You're kinda cute, too. Hope all is well.

This guy walks into psychiatrist's office and says, "I had awful dreams last night. First, I dreamed I was a teepee, then I dreamed I was wigwam."

The shrink says, "Take a valium. You're just too tense."

TS

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

thank you

for the limericks doc. you are way to witty for me!

I will come up with a retort soon!

 

[cookiejar]

http://www.smiliegenerator.de/s17/smilies-38067.png

 

[cookiejar]

Okay Doc, does this sound more like me?

You are a Circus Freak!

Sex standing on your head? Check!
Prison sex fantasies? Check!
Triple penetration? Check!

You've done more stuff than Dr. Ruth has heard of!
A peaceful Saturday involves installing a sex swing...
Or recovering from last night's flogging section.

Advice? Well, you don't need any in the kink department.
But I'd say, slow down, let your partner take the lead.
You might be surprised how it feels to be the one with your legs in the air.

Now that is the NA we all know and love...

BTW...I saw the trapeze in your bedroom...nice

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Re: Re: Dear Doc . . .

Gee thanks, Doc. How are ya today, cutie pie? You're kinda cute, too. Hope all is well.

This guy walks into psychiatrist's office and says, "I had awful dreams last night. First, I dreamed I was a teepee, then I dreamed I was wigwam."

The shrink says, "Take a valium. You're just too tense."

TS

TS, Bear and NC walk out of Cookie's hospital hoping to escape.

TS says, "If there's a high fence, we'll dig under it!"

Bear says, "If there's a low fence, we'll jump over it!"

NC says, "Well, we're out of luck, boys--There is no fence," so instead they just went back to their rooms.


http://www.darwinfish.com/images/i%20see%20dumb%20people%20large.jpg

 

[cookiejar]

Dr. Cookie, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. STUDDOG," the doctor says to one of her patients, "I see by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you're released?"

STUD thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately."

Dr. Cookie nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities."

STUD replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot."

 

[Native Alien]

Dang and I thought that I had that trapeze safe from anyone else's eyes.

Good morning ya'll.

 

[cookiejar]

Slick was quite adamant. He insisted to the surgeon that he wanted to be castrated. The surgeon pointed out that this was a drastic step for a young man to take and strongly urged him to reconsider his request.

"No," said Slick, "I have thought long and hard about it, I have read all there is about it and my mind is made up. I must have the operation."

The operation was duly carried out and when he had recovered from the anaesthetic and was back in the ward he got to talking to the other patients.

"And what are you in here for?" he asked the fellow in the next bed.

"To be circumcised."

"DAMN, THAT was the word I meant !"