Conversation

[bbwseeking63]

Because I like to talk, I will type some more

Here is some thoughts for you: I introduced a lady friend of mine to the site, she had told me how much she would like to just find women to talk to, just talk, and if something erotic came from it, so be it. So, I showed her the site, helped her set up her profile and showed the basics of it.

I talk to her almost every day, and every day she tells me about the men that message her. All her threads, all her posts, and her profile state she has no interest in talking to men, yet, most messages are from men. Some saying how they can make her forget about women completely.

She thinks not replying at all is wrong so tends to send replies like, "Thank you for the massage, but I prefer to talk to women, as that is what I want, have a good day. Some will actually reply and try to engage. I do not understand this. If a profile, posts and thread starters all clearly state an interest that someone does not fall under, at all, why would they message that person? Do people really thin they are that good? Do they really think they can alter the thoughts and desires of people because they are here?

I just think it is rude and disrespectful. Maybe I come from a different style of upbringing that teaches you to respect people. I don't know. It's just weird to me.

I totally agree with you!!! Respect is very hard to find in general anymore.

 

[destined]

There are great things that can happen when finding a connection online. You can find real friends, people you look forward to hearing from as often as you can, you can learn about life from a completely different culture. You can learn about festivals and holidays you have never heard of. Your day can be brightened by a simple, "How are you?"

Think about a long term conversation, just a talk between you and another that you never plan to meet. You open up with things that you didn't think you would, sharing your world, your thoughts, your fantasies and your past. You worry about them when they are ill or sad, you think of them when you see something and it reminds you of something they said.

Most of the time you have no idea what they look or sound like, but the words continue to flow. You picture them in your head and hear their words as you read them. It can be a connection that is like any other and it is wonderful.

And it all starts with an attempt to communicate. You have no idea if they will respond at all, but you try. You just type some words on a screen and hope that they respond. That's it. Just a short hello or a long one, your choice, your words. t really is quite simple, to try. Of course most conversations will not last, but if there is no attempt then you will not have that long term conversation. So simple, yet so difficult..... But really, so simple to try

Very well stated - You have articulated much better than could I, that has also been my experience. I have just made a couple such on-line connections like this and would welcome another.

 

[rlaflamme]

i have had personal ads with specifics to them... and men ignore them.. because somehow what i want doesnt matter.

its annoying.

And that is how she is feeling, like what she wants doesn't matter. It irritates me.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

maybe the whole personals section is a waste of time here. Has it worked for anybody?

I see the same men bumping the same ads up all the time. Guessing it doesn't work for them

As for the girls, guessing they get 500 responses that are worthless.

 

[rlaflamme]

maybe the whole personals section is a waste of time here. Has it worked for anybody?

I see the same men bumping the same ads up all the time. Guessing it doesn't work for them

As for the girls, guessing they get 500 responses that are worthless.

The personals can get a bit wild and searching through them you will find all sorts of people. I am not sure if I have ever made a connection though scrolling through them, but have met a few people through this thread. Of course this thread in itself has become a conversation

It is difficult to get a decent connection for many reasons. You just have to keep putting yourself out there and hoping a good one happens.

As for the ladies, I am sure they get more messages, and many of them are, well, crap. And I am sure that is a deterrent for some. But many of them are looking for that needle in a haystack as well.

Just keep your hopes up and try to be positive that a connection with happen for you.

 

[rlaflamme]

People come from all walks of life and are facing things that we are unaware of. Many people here come to get away from it all, to just escape for a bit. And many come and go often. It is important that when starting a conversation that you do not put it in your head that "this is the one" hope is good and you should have it, but you cannot determine whether or not you will get a decent conversation with what you see people post on the boards. It is difficult to determine it even after 10 or so exchanges have been made.

Having something besides, "Hey, how are you?" is unlikely to catch an eye for a conversation to start, it gives the other person very little to work with. I try to tell them a little something, usually I let them know what I saw that made me say hello.

I never expect a reply, just hope for one. I guess, it is sort of like fishing. You buy a bunch of words, throw them in the sea of potential people, and hope for a good catch.

 

[Midwest50Guy]

People come from all walks of life and are facing things that we are unaware of. Many people here come to get away from it all, to just escape for a bit. And many come and go often. It is important that when starting a conversation that you do not put it in your head that "this is the one" hope is good and you should have it, but you cannot determine whether or not you will get a decent conversation with what you see people post on the boards. It is difficult to determine it even after 10 or so exchanges have been made.

Having something besides, "Hey, how are you?" is unlikely to catch an eye for a conversation to start, it gives the other person very little to work with. I try to tell them a little something, usually I let them know what I saw that made me say hello.

I never expect a reply, just hope for one. I guess, it is sort of like fishing. You buy a bunch of words, throw them in the sea of potential people, and hope for a good catch.

you nailed it. it is a crapshoot. It is hard to get a first reply, and even harder to keep them interested. So much bullcrap and game playing goes on here also. just makes you shake your head sometimes.

 

[rlaflamme]

you nailed it. it is a crapshoot. It is hard to get a first reply, and even harder to keep them interested. So much bullcrap and game playing goes on here also. just makes you shake your head sometimes.

It is difficult to know what people are looking for and what they are thinking. It is just a guess and a hope. Connections can be made, can be found. There are many people who come here, check it out for a month or two then leave. It is a revolving door for so many. You just keep trying to make that connection you are looking for and try to keep your head up.

 

[Froya]

It is difficult to know what people are looking for and what they are thinking. It is just a guess and a hope. Connections can be made, can be found. There are many people who come here, check it out for a month or two then leave. It is a revolving door for so many. You just keep trying to make that connection you are looking for and try to keep your head up.

It's very much like walking into a room. Not everyone will want to talk. Maybe the best you'll get is some small talk on any given day. Every time you approach someone, in person or online, you're taking a chance. It's just easier to take more chances more quickly in a place like this, so yes, the unsuccessful attempts will add up. But, if you don't try, your chances to make a connection are even lower.

 

[rlaflamme]

It's very much like walking into a room. Not everyone will want to talk. Maybe the best you'll get is some small talk on any given day. Every time you approach someone, in person or online, you're taking a chance. It's just easier to take more chances more quickly in a place like this, so yes, the unsuccessful attempts will add up. But, if you don't try, your chances to make a connection are even lower.

Very true. I wonder if it is easier here though, no face expressions to hold you back, no body language to make it look like they are unapproachable, no gathering of people around that person to make you feel uncomfortable. Just words, just a bit of typing and the attempt is made.

 

[rlaflamme]

I had a short conversation with a young lady today and found out some things that I thought I would share here.

She told me one of the "turn offs" of her communicating here is she gets PMs from people that get very personal very fast. Things like age and gender are pretty simple and not very intrusive, but things like where exactly they live and if they are willing to travel to hook up are. Also asking what type of sex they are into, or telling them that you would make them hunger for you is probably not a good idea.

Another irritation is unwelcomed persistence. If you get a reply of "No thanks" it means no thanks, leave them be.

That is all from me for now, have a great day

 

[Froya]

That happens, not infrequently. Some people seem to think that because they're here just to get off and go, that others are, too. And, to them, women on an erotica site might as well have a flashing neon sign above their heads that says "Open for business."

I have, on occasion, had the first or second PM ask me what I'm into. The idea, I guess, is that it's all anonymous, so I should be wanting and willing to tell anyone anything.

Luckily, this sort of thing has been a very small percentage of the interactions I've had here. I imagine the women that draw more attention than I do see quite a bit more of it.

When you call them on it, they either stop responding, or they'll write back that they're just so horny they can't help themselves, as if being horny is an acceptable excuse for such shitty behavior. "Cant blame a guy for trying, right?" I can, and I do.

 

[The_gladiator]

That happens, not infrequently. Some people seem to think that because they're here just to get off and go, that others are, too. And, to them, women on an erotica site might as well have a flashing neon sign above their heads that says "Open for business."

I have, on occasion, had the first or second PM ask me what I'm into. The idea, I guess, is that it's all anonymous, so I should be wanting and willing to tell anyone anything.

Luckily, this sort of thing has been a very small percentage of the interactions I've had here. I imagine the women that draw more attention than I do see quite a bit more of it.

When you call them on it, they either stop responding, or they'll write back that they're just so horny they can't help themselves, as if being horny is an acceptable excuse for such shitty behavior. "Cant blame a guy for trying, right?" I can, and I do.

I hate that as an excuse for poor behavior. It’s like men blaming women for wearing sexy clothes feels like blaming the victim. Not saying all women on lit are victims but just that’s how that comes across.

Respect seems to be key I’ve found. Some people are willing to get very sexual very quickly, but some aren’t, you can test the waters, but respect the response that you get.

 

[alwaysaway]

It makes things uncomfortable very quickly. Thank goodness the good ones outweigh the bad by FAR

 

[rlaflamme]

I wonder how long a conversation has to last before it is considered a good conversation. I have had conversations that lasted throughout a day and never heard back from the person after, but I considered it a good conversation. And I have had conversations that continue to grow and they are good. So does a good, one time conversation get the label of "good" and a long term conversation get the label of "great"?

 

[Froya]

I wonder how long a conversation has to last before it is considered a good conversation. I have had conversations that lasted throughout a day and never heard back from the person after, but I considered it a good conversation. And I have had conversations that continue to grow and they are good. So does a good, one time conversation get the label of "good" and a long term conversation get the label of "great"?

I think this is a an "eye of the beholder" situation. There's no time requirement for a good vs great conversation, it's just the way you feel about it.

Not long ago, I had a great, fun conversation with someone that was just right for that day. We haven't talked since, because he hasn't been on, and I don't know that we ever will.. or that if we did, it would be as good, as easy, as fun, etc. Who knows? But, I still remember it as a great conversation. It lifted my spirits and left me feeling satisfied with the time I spent sending messages back and forth. (And, no, I don't mean that kind of satisfied lol)

I've also had long-standing conversations that are not particularly deep, but very pleasant, with people I enjoy chatting with a bit, but I'd never categorize those as great conversations.

 

[The_gladiator]

I think there are times I exchange pleasantries with someone that I’m not even sure qualifies as conversation... does the exchange have to be deep enough to really qualify as a conversation, or is it length... very subjective I’d think.

 

[Froya]

I think there are times I exchange pleasantries with someone that I’m not even sure qualifies as conversation... does the exchange have to be deep enough to really qualify as a conversation, or is it length... very subjective I’d think.

I think most things that involve human relationships are subjective, aren't they?

 

[rlaflamme]

I have been quiet for a bit, but I found something new to mention....

What is it with men pretending to be women? I mean, I understand men typically don't get as much attention here, but really? Do they think it is cool to talk to someone pretending to be the opposite sex and then when found out running away?

I think anyone that does that should be called out on a forum, like, "She is a he" or "She is a he" and just start listing them as you find them.

Maybe it is just me, but I think it is weird and kind of rude.

 

[rlaflamme]

Just passing the time seems to be a big thing here on Literotica, with periods of decent banter, hijinks and information. It seems that many people are just visiting and leaving, as is expected in this cyber world. So, if you are looking for a conversation, how long do you think it will las? And if you are just passing through and a decent conversation hits you, would that make you stay?

I wonder if people just run out of things to say, or just don't know what to say. Does the conversation turn in a direction that they don't know what to do with it so they stop? Does a question pop up that they are not sure about so they avoid it by not replying at all instead of asking the other person to elaborate or to move on as it is a difficult one for them to answer.

A conversation has become such a difficult thing for people, almost like they don't know how to move it forward or to begin one. With lives getting busier and time moving faster have we forgotten about the basics?

Just some random thoughts. Carry on Lit

 

[Thefutilityofbeing]

I had a short conversation with a young lady today and found out some things that I thought I would share here.

She told me one of the "turn offs" of her communicating here is she gets PMs from people that get very personal very fast. Things like age and gender are pretty simple and not very intrusive, but things like where exactly they live and if they are willing to travel to hook up are. Also asking what type of sex they are into, or telling them that you would make them hunger for you is probably not a good idea.

Another irritation is unwelcomed persistence. If you get a reply of "No thanks" it means no thanks, leave them be.

That is all from me for now, have a great day

I’m only new here, but I suspect that there are many people who pass through bored with porn and just want some quick and dirty cybersex so they assume that’s what everyone else is here for. It seems like women can’t even have the most most vanilla of social media accounts without getting unsolicited dick pics and aggressive propositions. I can only imagine how much worse it must be on a discussion board with such a heavy leaninng towards sexual subject matter.

If I’m being totally honest, I think a great deal of men are highly immature and remain that way until the day they die, haha. Regardless of the forum, what makes anyone think that they can just jump right into sex? Do these dudes walk up to girls in bars and jump straight from “what’s your sign?” To “what’s your favourite position?” Or maybe they just walk up and whip it out thinking that they actually have the nicest dick in town, as if it’s any different than anyone else’s, and that she’ll just drop to her knees on the spot like he’s walking around with a glowing green rod of kryptonite between his legs, hahahah.

The point is that if you wouldn’t do it in the street face to face then it’s no more acceptable on the internet. Just have some respect and if all you’re looking for is to get your rocks off then do everyone a favour and stick to stories or porn.

 

[rlaflamme]

I’m only new here, but I suspect that there are many people who pass through bored with porn and just want some quick and dirty cybersex so they assume that’s what everyone else is here for. It seems like women can’t even have the most most vanilla of social media accounts without getting unsolicited dick pics and aggressive propositions. I can only imagine how much worse it must be on a discussion board with such a heavy leaninng towards sexual subject matter.

If I’m being totally honest, I think a great deal of men are highly immature and remain that way until the day they die, haha. Regardless of the forum, what makes anyone think that they can just jump right into sex? Do these dudes walk up to girls in bars and jump straight from “what’s your sign?” To “what’s your favourite position?” Or maybe they just walk up and whip it out thinking that they actually have the nicest dick in town, as if it’s any different than anyone else’s, and that she’ll just drop to her knees on the spot like he’s walking around with a glowing green rod of kryptonite between his legs, hahahah.

The point is that if you wouldn’t do it in the street face to face then it’s no more acceptable on the internet. Just have some respect and if all you’re looking for is to get your rocks off then do everyone a favour and stick to stories or porn.

That is an awesome point! And I think that is were the trouble comes, people think because it is here in cyberland they can say what they want and get the reaction they want. No cares, no worries. It isn't like they are going to see them at work tomorrow. So the care of offending or being disrespectful doesn't apply to them, it's sad.

 

[Thefutilityofbeing]

That is an awesome point! And I think that is were the trouble comes, people think because it is here in cyberland they can say what they want and get the reaction they want. No cares, no worries. It isn't like they are going to see them at work tomorrow. So the care of offending or being disrespectful doesn't apply to them, it's sad.

It’s really sad man. Like we’re breeding an entire generation of narcissistic sociopaths with zero social skills. And it makes everything that much more difficult for those of us that are decent people, now there’s an entire new set of walls for us to break down before we can even start to make connections with people.

 

[rlaflamme]

It’s really sad man. Like we’re breeding an entire generation of narcissistic sociopaths with zero social skills. And it makes everything that much more difficult for those of us that are decent people, now there’s an entire new set of walls for us to break down before we can even start to make connections with people.

Sometimes I wonder if they realize how bad it is to do what they do, like, is it in their heads that this is an erotic site so it is expected and hoped for to get dick pics or messages of wanted sex right off the bat, or at all? Or do they really think they are so good and wonderful that they can get and do what they want.

There are walls that we have to break to get a good connection here, and there is no question that those type of message senders make it far more difficult. And I am not under the illusion that it is only men that send disturbing messages right off, but let's call a spade a spade, it is most likely to be men lol.

I just wish there was a way to convince people to be polite and respectful. Let people know there are decent people here that are not just looking to get their rocks off. We will keep fighting the good fight

 

[Thefutilityofbeing]

Sometimes I wonder if they realize how bad it is to do what they do, like, is it in their heads that this is an erotic site so it is expected and hoped for to get dick pics or messages of wanted sex right off the bat, or at all? Or do they really think they are so good and wonderful that they can get and do what they want.

There are walls that we have to break to get a good connection here, and there is no question that those type of message senders make it far more difficult. And I am not under the illusion that it is only men that send disturbing messages right off, but let's call a spade a spade, it is most likely to be men lol.

I just wish there was a way to convince people to be polite and respectful. Let people know there are decent people here that are not just looking to get their rocks off. We will keep fighting the good fight

Haha, yeah I’m sure it’s mostly men. But, men or women, I feel embarrassed for those people. It’s sad and I’m sure that they are lonely in life.

I worked briefly at a restaurant once and quit because I hated the front of house manager so much. Everytime I would say anything she’d make it sexual. And she had a template she’d use. I worked in the kitchen as a cook but when I had downtime I’d be asked to do various other things. So just as an example, my boss might ask me to scrape some dishes and get them to the dish pit and she would shout from the back ground “He can scrape my dishes any day” hahahaha. She was so gross.

No one is that good or that attractive that they can just completely sidestep general human decency and respect. Maybe we need like a wall of shame or something for fly by nighters that are offensive out of the gates.