Conspiracy Theories

[Ambrosious]

Post 'em here.

My current is that the Weather Channel and Supermarkets are in cahoots. I think that Supermarkets are giving kickbacks for predictions of snow. At least here in the south, if the weatherman says "Frost" or any thing close to it, there is a run on milk and bread the likes you have never seen.

It makes me want to yell out in the markets "Folks! You live in ATLANTA! It will be 55 degrees tomorrow!"

What are your favorite conspiracies. How about that one involving Laurel, Manu, and new scripts?

 

[Ksss]

Hmmmm don't know Laurel and Manu that well...but I think you are right on the weatherchannel and the supermarket thing! Here in the north (NY state) when the words snow or blizzard are mentioned the stores are packed. People buy cart load after cart load of every imaginable thing, except for the things they really should buy, like batteries for flashlights, some sort of alternative heating source, cooking source. Don't these people realize that if they lose their electricity ANYTHING WHICH NEEDS TO BE COOKED WILL GO BAD!!!! (oops sorry for shouting). It's okay if you have a gas stove, but get a grip, are you going to store your food outside so it doesn't go bad (hope there are no wild animals or dogs or cats around, cause they will be feasting good!)???? People around here act as if they aren't gonna get out for months! It's hysterical! I should have been a meteorologist, it's the only job I know where you can lie and still get paid! (sorry if anyone who reads this works in weather!) I especially like the forecasts we get here, "The weatherman says you have a 50% of precipitation, look out the damn window idiot, there is already three feet of snow on the ground! Duh! hehehehehe Sorry just needed to vent!

 

[Darowyn]

We had bad flooding here last month, and the river Severn is rising again now with heavy rain forecast for the weekend.
But I was in the supermarket during the last floods, and one family was loading up with stocks of bottled water,"in case the water goes off"
However these people live in West Malvern which is 200 feet above the flood plain and famous for the beautiful springs of pure water which flow there.
Talk about panic buying!
I think that these conspiracy theories are all put about by the psychologists to keep themselves in the psychosis and neurosis business.

 

[Mustang Sally]

I came up with a great one just yesterday!

Ok, the invention of call display by phone companies has ruined such innocent fun for kids as prank calls - in effect, aiding the corruption of our youth. So the kids go hang out in the mall, maybe vandalize a few tombstones, and smoke some cigarettes.

AHA! The phone company is in cahoots with the tobacco industry. This is BIG! Man, I'd tell the president, but you don't have one! Then again, even if you did, he'd be in on it too!

 

[April]

Nope. Sorry, Mustang Sally. I'm not buying that one. All it takes is 3 extra buttons to push, and you have anonymous prank calling again. Lazy kids. Geesh! LOL

 

[Mustang Sally]

April

Maybe your phone company's different, but mine charges a fee whenever you use that feature AND it comes up on the phone bill. Can you say "busted!" LOL

Aww, c'mon, I thought it was a good one. Good for a laugh, anyways... hehe

 

[Juliangel]

The Fashion Industry

It is a conspiracy all by itself. Why do women need to buy new wardrobes every season???

 

[Mackdaddy_74]

Mustang Sally

I liked it. http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/blackeye/lol.gif

 

[Mustang Sally]

Thanks Mac.
I came up with it ALL BY MYSELF! LOL

 

[pandora]

I thought we still had a president....it's the next one we can't figure out.....back to the courts again..god that's really getting to be old news

 

[Ambrosious]

Weddings

Now if that ain't a conspiracy, what is. Got to get all gussied up and put a shine on the shoes. For what? 10 minutes. Now don't get me wrong, I loved our wedding, done outside beside a pond, with the moms in law crying like a baby, but weddings are a huge female conspiracy. It is the first hoop we are trained to jump through.

Got to go to Boston this weekend for a wedding, my wife's uncle is getting married. She is all excited, thinking about what the bride will wear, blah, blah, blah. Men just don't get excited over weddings. "Hey George! DO you think he'll wear a BLACK tux?!"

Jerry Seinfeld made a good point about weddings, can't remember what it was though, but it was good. I did like his take on the best man, if he is the best man, why is she marrying the other guy?

Oh, well, I'll just make the best of it, it is just another hoop.

 

[Temptress_1960]

Martin Luther King

When my son was 6, he came home from school and told me what he had learned about Martin Luther King.

Apparently, he was confused... OR WAS HE?

According to him, MLK was killed by angry bus drivers, who lost their jobs because people weren't sitting down in the buses.

What do YOU think?

He may have something there.

 

[April]

Re: April

Maybe your phone company's different, but mine charges a fee whenever you use that feature AND it comes up on the phone bill. Can you say "busted!" LOL

Aww, c'mon, I thought it was a good one. Good for a laugh, anyways... hehe

DOH!!

Didn't think of that. Okay. That's a good conspiracy, then.

 

[*Eve*]

Valentine's Day is a conspiracy created by Hallmark and Russell Stovers.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Reality is a conspiracy concocted by people who are too insecure to live in the cyberworld. I'm moving in here, forget reality, it sux.

 

[Ezzy]

Well...

It's hysterical! I should have been a meteorologist, it's the only job I know where you can lie and still get paid! (sorry if anyone who reads this works in weather!)

Don’t you know any attorneys or tax accountants, realtors, political candidates, doctors? Etc. Etc.



EZ http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

Sorry I'm in a cynical mood today.

[Edited by Ezzy on 12-08-2000 at 08:36 AM]

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Anyone here ever read "Foucault's Pendulum"? Absolutely the grrandest conspiracy theory of all time.

 

[Merelan]

Enjoying it...
I love that one. I bet even Martin would have too. According to his friends, he had a sense of humour. and who knows, it might just well be true.

 

[JadedHeart]

Re: Weddings

Now if that ain't a conspiracy, what is. Got to get all gussied up and put a shine on the shoes. For what? 10 minutes. weddings are a huge female conspiracy. It is the first hoop we are trained to jump through.

Okay, now we know that Ambrosious isn't Catholic, because a 10 minute Catholic wedding would be a miracle. And if that was the first hoop you had to jump through you're a very lucky man!