Confessions...

[tigervixen]

Let's see...since I was kind of given permission to start this thread (thanks emptynester), here we go.

Confessions. We all have deep, dark secrets. Maybe you've done something really stupid you (and others) can now laugh at. I know I have. Maybe you just have a really twisted sexual fantasy. Or fantasies. (Me too) Maybe you have a disgusting or embarassing habit. Confession is good for the soul (and it's kind of fun too)

Because I don't want to get in trouble, please follow the forum rules. I'm pretty sure most of us know what those are, but just in case... http://www.literotica.com/support/forum_rules.shtml

I will be adding mine here soon, in one of the comments. I just figured first post should be about the idea.

 

[tigervixen]

My first confession entitled the stupidest thing I have ever done

I was 19 years old, a virgin, living at home with my mom and dad. I was pretty sick, having been diagnosed with a severe mental illness (what that is, I'm not comfortable saying right now, but if I get to know people better here I may feel more comfortable) Needless to say, I needed to take medication on a regular basis, and quite a lot of it.

I'm going to start here by saying that names have not been changed to protect the rampant inbred. I will not, however, be giving last names.

I was into chat rooms then. I met this dude in a chat room. His name was Clay. Being the 19 year old naive virgin (and sick of the virginity) I get it into my mind that I like this person. He seems really nice in the chat room, and really cool in IM...and he lives in Arkansas. I live in Indiana.

Do you see where this is going? After a week? (maybe) of talking to this walking/talking pile of tampon waste, I decide to go meet him. (You'll see, but to his credit, he was one year younger than I was) Keep in mind, I have no drivers license and no way to actually get there. So I basically ask him (online) where the closest city is to him and he says Shreveport Louisiana.

Without telling anyone, family or friends, what I was about to do, I walk to the nearest phone booth, and call a taxi. I proceed to go into the closest town and withdraw $500 from my bank account, and take the taxi all the way to the Indianapolis Greyhound bus station. It costs nearly 150.00 to just get to the bus station. I don't remember how much the bus ticket was. I gave $20 bills to two homeless people. I wasn't concerned about money.

The bus ride itself was, to a small town girl with absolutely no life experience, scary as hell. There was a four hour layover in Memphis where someone whipped out a gun and started threatening someone else. Yeah I was pretty freaked, and did not sleep the entire 24 hours it took to get there.

I got there and had to wait 2 hours for this guy to arrive. We then go to his friends house, when they decide they are hungry. I watch while they are digging up change to go to McDonald's on the dollar menu. I then inform them I'll pay for the meal, and we have a HUGE McDonald's meal.

We go back to his house, where he lives with his mom. She must be gone all night, because as soon as we get there...we have sex. It...was pretty horrible. Now I really don't blame him for being frustrated, because we did end up having sex, but it hurt me so bad and I think, though he was not a virgin...well, he wasn't exactly Don Juan either. No skills. At all. I take blame for some of it too, but he was definitely an asshole to me after that night. As in completely ignoring me the entire time I was there.

I call my friend the next night, my best friend. She asks me if I'm all right 3-4 times before informing me in no uncertain terms that she's going to fucking kill me. I start crying, because I know I've screwed up. She ORDERS me to call my parents. I do, and they are freaking out. I'm crying. They tell me that they are coming down to get me. Do not take the bus, we are coming down there.

That night, Clay sends his friend in there, in the bedroom with me. His friend tries everything he can to get me in bed. Now I had just lost my virginity, I felt like trash anyway, and even though he was really sweet, I did not let him touch me. I wish I had now. That night, he told me a lot about his friend. About how he treated his girlfriends like shit. About how he *was* not single when he fucked me (if you could call it that, I mean...I lost my virginity in the technical sense, but that was basically it). About how into drugs he was. I felt at the time that sleeping with a guy and his friend was really sleazy. That's the one thing that could've ended positively, because he would've been happy to perform oral sex on me and I think we could've had fun if I hadn't been so uptight. But I didn't. Still, though, he was nice to me, and talked to me all night, and if he's out there, I'd like to tell him I wish I'd done something with him, because that was the only positive experience of my entire trip.

The next morning I have to hide because Clay's mom is home. Did I tell you "home" is a really shitty trailer in a seedy trailer park? I'm not against trailer parks, but wow. This place should've been condemmed. The other friend I made there was his mom's cat, and I saw him kick the poor, starving dear. I wish I'd stolen her. She was a very sweet, orange kitty.

At this point I'm starting to feel the lack of medication. That's right, I left Indiana with no clothes but the ones I was wearing, NO medicine, and not even a purse. All of my money was in my right front pocket. I ask Clay then to please take me to the hospital. I'm not going to cry rape (no matter how awful the experience was, it was not rape) I just need to get my psych meds. This douche proceeds to drop me off in the middle of a town I have never, ever been in and points in a direction. "Go that way," he says and drives off. I'm stunned.

I go to the hospital, get medicine, and I'm stuck somewhere knowing nothing about anything. I actually approach this large built man and ask him to take me to the police station. He asked me "Why you wanna go there? Why not come home with me?" I yell "FUCK YOU" at the top of my lungs and just take off running.

I call my aunt at this time using a phone booth and she tells me to get into a motel room now. Mom and Dad are there somewhere looking for me. So I walk a mile to the closest hotel I can find. A real craphole. I wouldn't want an animal to have to stay overnight there. The pool was brown with green stuff growing in it. I pay my $20 for the room and call my aunt again, using a phone card I bought from a convenience store.

Eventually, they get ahold of Mom and Dad and they come to the room, along with the police. I start crying and hugging EVERYBODY. Mom, Dad, the nice lady police officer. I was asked questions, and the main one was "was I raped?" No, I wasn't. I think it was a miracle to this day that I survived the experience. Especially when I yelled "FUCK YOU" to a huge, well built guy with sex totally on his mind. I'm amazed that nothing serious happened during the layover in Memphis where that angry person pulled out his gun. There are probably 2-3 times here where I could've really gotten myself in serious trouble.

Lesson learned. I take responsibility for what I did wrong, but also admit that it was a horrible experience. For my first time, I needed someone who cared about me enough to want it to be a pleasant experience for me. Instead, I was another notch in some asshole's bedpost. I don't have bad feelings for him now or anything, but he was a douche. And I'll always remember that.

 

[alaskabibear]

Hang in there kitten

tigervixen, That is such a bummer of a way for a guy to treat a girl who was willing to give him her love.
I'm really sorry that that happened to you and hope that your current 4yr relationship is everything that you had hoped for. If it doesn't work out, just know this (from an old guy married to the love of his life for over 30 years), love is worth the pain of finding it - and your Mr. Wonderful (and Ms. Wonderful too) is out there looking just for you.

 

[Noor]

Wow Tigervixen, you were pretty brave! Although the trip wasn't a very good idea, you did use common sense to survive. I am sorry that idiot was your first time.

Not sure I am ready for any confessions quite yet though sometimes I wish had the bravery to just hop a plane, rent a car ...

 

[vodkaseven]

Tigervixen, thanks to you, I am following your brave lead and posting and getting involved. Now I will have to think of my own confession....hmmmm

 

[tigervixen]

tigervixen, That is such a bummer of a way for a guy to treat a girl who was willing to give him her love.
I'm really sorry that that happened to you and hope that your current 4yr relationship is everything that you had hoped for. If it doesn't work out, just know this (from an old guy married to the love of his life for over 30 years), love is worth the pain of finding it - and your Mr. Wonderful (and Ms. Wonderful too) is out there looking just for you.

My current guy is a dream. I'm still crazy in love with him and at this point, I think I always will be. At least I can look back on it and laugh. I kind of wish I could go back in time and kick my 19 y/o self in the teeth, but what can you do? Thanks!

 

[tigervixen]

Tigervixen, thanks to you, I am following your brave lead and posting and getting involved. Now I will have to think of my own confession....hmmmm

I can't wait! I know I'm not the only "brave" one out there. Hell I"ve probably got a few more tucked away somewhere...but I'm going to take my turn again later...(when I've gotten more sleep and when someone else has posted)

 

[Cathleen]

Welcome to Lit., tigervixen and I'm glad emptynester brought you to us. Also welcome out of 'lurkdom' vodkaseven.

I'll give some thought about some confessions, I know there are some for sure.

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

Confession

Back in my college days, I had a really sweet girlfriend. She was a good girl and wouldn't have sex with me until way later in our relationship. We would play and do "some things", but at this point in our dating, it was pretty much clothes on. We hadn't seen each other naked at this point. Well, she and I were having a few drinks one night and we decided that we both had too much to drink to get her home, so she agreed to stay with me that night. We both slept in my bed, but I slept in my boxers and she slept in one of my t-shirts and a pair of panties.

During the middle of the night, I awoke just as I began having a wet dream (I hadn't had any sex for some time). The instant I realized what was going on I grabbed my penis just as it was getting ready to shoot the first spurt (I thought to myself "GREAT! I caught it in time")... I jumped out of bed and while holding my penis to keep it from shooting, ran across the room toward the bathroom. I was pulling down my boxers as I rounded the corner to get into the bathroom so I could hopefully let it all go in the toilet. Needless to say the convulsions of cumming made me a little less than coordinated.

Well it was really dark and I didn't see my girlfriend's shoes on the floor when I came around the corner. I tripped on the shoes and in order to "catch myself" I let go of my penis which instantly began shooting cum all over the place (me, my boxers, my hardwood floors, etc.). All I could think of as I fell to the floor was "I was cumming and going at the same time". That got me to laughing and as I fell, I continued to uncontrollably laugh throughout the rest of the situation.

Step back 10 seconds...My girlfriend evidently heard/felt me jump out of the bed and it startled her. During my clamoring and running toward the bathroom she awoke and flipped on the light at just about the very second I fell. Needless to say she saw me in all my glory with my shooting hardon penis sticking out of the top of my boxers as I tried to gather myself and get up off the floor. At first she didn't know what to think, but she immediately started giggling. She was like "are you ok"? and I said "Yes" as I laughed my way into the bathroom to clean up.

My g/f was like "what the hell happened" and between uncontrollable bouts of laughter, I explained it to her. When she really realized what had taken place, we both laughed until our sides hurt over the experience. It was embarrassing as all hell, but actually ended up being a decent ice-breaker over being naked in front of one another. At one point, she coyly mentioned that I had a nice package and that made me feel a lot better.

After it was all over with, I told her that I'd already written the book on most embarrassing moments and from that point further, neither one of us had anything that could happen that would equal that experience in terms of embarrassment. Once we got through snickering about it, we went back to bed went to sleep.

 

[vodkaseven]

Thank you Cathleen for the welcome. I look forward to reading more of your romantic stories, as well as making my own comments on the message boards and contributing my own Literotica stories.

 

[bitterandtwisted80]

Let's see...since I was kind of given permission to start this thread (thanks emptynester), here we go.

Confessions. We all have deep, dark secrets. Maybe you've done something really stupid you (and others) can now laugh at. I know I have. Maybe you just have a really twisted sexual fantasy. Or fantasies. (Me too) Maybe you have a disgusting or embarassing habit. Confession is good for the soul (and it's kind of fun too)

Because I don't want to get in trouble, please follow the forum rules. I'm pretty sure most of us know what those are, but just in case... http://www.literotica.com/support/forum_rules.shtml

I will be adding mine here soon, in one of the comments. I just figured first post should be about the idea.

Well I've been a member/author on Literotica for awhile, but I never even realized these forums existed lol. Guess that clues you into how astute my observational powers are...

I don't know about an "embarrassing" moment, but I remember one situation I got myself into last summer that was an absolutely horrible experience. I had been fishing on the Internet for good prospects, had been through a couple of boyfriends, and once again found myself single. There was this older guy (50 to my 26), who had kept on and on about coming to see me since he only lived a couple of hours away. Though he made it understood that he only wanted a sugar baby to give him some love occasionally, and be faithful when he wasn't there. So I thought, "what the hell??". Anyway, he came down and my sister dropped me off at the meeting spot, (a public restaurant), and we had lunch, I was decidedly uncomfortable from the get-go, being used to guys closer to my age, (the oldest I've ever slept with was 35), I found myself NOT attracted to him at all. As I was working this through in my head, he took it upon himself to buy me a carton of my favorite brand of cigarettes and a whole bunch of my fave soft drink, and kept trying to buy me stuff in every store we went to.
The guy was seedy looking, I knew he obviously had money and lots of it, but you couldn't tell by looking at him. He looked like a bum, (no offense to bums, just not my preference in a sex partner). At any rate, he somehow talked me into going to the hotel with him and I was so nervous, wondering what I was gonna do...
He started off by absolutely worshipping my body with hands and mouth, I felt so bad I had to keep my eyes closed the whole time and imagine Vin Diesel. I felt bad for him and guilty for getting into this when I knew I wouldn't be able to do it again. I let him do whatever he wanted to me, and did whatever he wanted me to. Figured I was "paying him back", not being very well versed in the "sugar daddy" rules. I kept my eyes closed the WHOLE time, cuz when I opened them, I immediately got turned off. I felt like a hooker.
Also to my disadvantage, he had popped some Cialis before we started so he went for almost 5 hours, came several times and no matter what I did, his erection WOULD NOT GO DOWN!! I have the blessing of being able to have multiples upon multiples, and as long as I closed my eyes it was awesome, I came until I quite literally passed out about the fourth time we had sex. Finally it was time for me to go and I said a little prayer that it was finally over. And he had also given me a lot of crap because I made him use condoms... And before he left to go back home he gave me $30. I'm still ashamed to this day, I felt like a whore, I felt used and cheap as all get out. In fact I've NEVER told anyone about what happened that day, I still have lots of shame when I think about it, but none of you will tell right?? I couldn't walk right for a week either, man I can't believe I just told that story lol... A true confession I guess...

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

Aww...bittertwisted...

That's too bad. You shouldn't let it bother you though. We've all done stuff we're not proud of. I myself have had many, many times where I did stuff that I knew was stupid, or degrading, or any number of other things.

Let it go and chock it up to learning some important lessons. Nothing permanent or lasting came of it, so in retrospect, there are really no lasting consequences other than how much you've punished yourself over the years.

Take my advice. You have my permission to let it all go! That isn't you and it won't ever be you again.


Jack

 

[aimouse]

A few years ago I was having sex with 4 women at the same time. (Only actually in bed with one at a time.) And 3 of the knew all about it.
I had the best sex I've ever had - pretty much anything was on offer - but I did feel very guilty, especially in respof the one person who didn't know.

 

[big hank]

stuff that i did

Long ago in a far away place I used to have sex with one girlfriend (who was so much better than me) then go to another girls house and have her suck me off. The second girl just loved to give blow jobs. We never had screwed so I thought it was sorta o.k. . I never left the second girls house without feeling bad. I was an ass. I hate that. Both girls deserved (and eventually got) much better men in there lives.

 

[bitterandtwisted80]

Aww...bittertwisted...

That's too bad. You shouldn't let it bother you though. We've all done stuff we're not proud of. I myself have had many, many times where I did stuff that I knew was stupid, or degrading, or any number of other things.

Let it go and chock it up to learning some important lessons. Nothing permanent or lasting came of it, so in retrospect, there are really no lasting consequences other than how much you've punished yourself over the years.

Take my advice. You have my permission to let it all go! That isn't you and it won't ever be you again.


Jack

Thanks Jack, it is still a very shaming incident in my memory. But I've done my best to learn from it and avoid situations like that.

 

[smotherman]

Confessions are good for the soul. Okay I confess! I love mean, cruel, vicious Dominant Women. (Sorry couldn't resist) LOL

 

[shyrebel]

One night I had two sister sleep over at my parents house, they were a few years apart. One of them slept with me and the other slept in the extra bedroom. I started messing around with the sister that slept with me but she wouldn't have sex with me so I waited till she fell asleep and went to the extra bedroom. I messed around with the other sister for a while but she wouldn't have sex with me either so there I was truck out twice in one night, I'm such a loser. lol

 

[Duralast]

I've had sex with a drunk 18 year old virgin.

 

[pellso27]

I like to watch animals fuck girls

 

[pellso27]

One night I had two sister sleep over at my parents house, they were a few years apart. One of them slept with me and the other slept in the extra bedroom. I started messing around with the sister that slept with me but she wouldn't have sex with me so I waited till she fell asleep and went to the extra bedroom. I messed around with the other sister for a while but she wouldn't have sex with me either so there I was truck out twice in one night, I'm such a loser. lol

you should have just........well never mind but at least you gave it a try!

 

[pellso27]

Well I've been a member/author on Literotica for awhile, but I never even realized these forums existed lol. Guess that clues you into how astute my observational powers are...

I don't know about an "embarrassing" moment, but I remember one situation I got myself into last summer that was an absolutely horrible experience. I had been fishing on the Internet for good prospects, had been through a couple of boyfriends, and once again found myself single. There was this older guy (50 to my 26), who had kept on and on about coming to see me since he only lived a couple of hours away. Though he made it understood that he only wanted a sugar baby to give him some love occasionally, and be faithful when he wasn't there. So I thought, "what the hell??". Anyway, he came down and my sister dropped me off at the meeting spot, (a public restaurant), and we had lunch, I was decidedly uncomfortable from the get-go, being used to guys closer to my age, (the oldest I've ever slept with was 35), I found myself NOT attracted to him at all. As I was working this through in my head, he took it upon himself to buy me a carton of my favorite brand of cigarettes and a whole bunch of my fave soft drink, and kept trying to buy me stuff in every store we went to.
The guy was seedy looking, I knew he obviously had money and lots of it, but you couldn't tell by looking at him. He looked like a bum, (no offense to bums, just not my preference in a sex partner). At any rate, he somehow talked me into going to the hotel with him and I was so nervous, wondering what I was gonna do...
He started off by absolutely worshipping my body with hands and mouth, I felt so bad I had to keep my eyes closed the whole time and imagine Vin Diesel. I felt bad for him and guilty for getting into this when I knew I wouldn't be able to do it again. I let him do whatever he wanted to me, and did whatever he wanted me to. Figured I was "paying him back", not being very well versed in the "sugar daddy" rules. I kept my eyes closed the WHOLE time, cuz when I opened them, I immediately got turned off. I felt like a hooker.
Also to my disadvantage, he had popped some Cialis before we started so he went for almost 5 hours, came several times and no matter what I did, his erection WOULD NOT GO DOWN!! I have the blessing of being able to have multiples upon multiples, and as long as I closed my eyes it was awesome, I came until I quite literally passed out about the fourth time we had sex. Finally it was time for me to go and I said a little prayer that it was finally over. And he had also given me a lot of crap because I made him use condoms... And before he left to go back home he gave me $30. I'm still ashamed to this day, I felt like a whore, I felt used and cheap as all get out. In fact I've NEVER told anyone about what happened that day, I still have lots of shame when I think about it, but none of you will tell right?? I couldn't walk right for a week either, man I can't believe I just told that story lol... A true confession I guess...

want to do it again! If so I am here honey

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

Bump for this thread. I just love confessions...please do continue ladies and gentlemen.
Jack

 

[wordofvirtue]

OK, here goes ..... I swear this is true. I have never EVER told anyone about this, even hubby.

Several years ago I hooked up with a guy I met in a medical fetish chat room on IRC. Let's just say the picture on his profile was a few years old and he hadn't aged particularly well. Nevertheless, I had already driven a couple of hours to get there and I figured what the hell -- I didn't have to fuck him and his backside was no worse looking than his face. I was wearing white lingerie under a lab coat and dusted off my nursing cap that no one wears after graduation anyway. He was totally blown away. I think if I had just stood there and made him jerk off and then left he'd have been more than happy. But he got the whole nine yards: probably 3 gallons of warm water run through his backside by the time the night was done, a good fisting, and to top it all off (and what he most fantasized about) a big shot of saline in each butt cheek. I made a big show of getting all the equipment ready, had several pairs of the long veterinary gloves (great visual effect!), even a glass thermometer with real mercury in it (which you can't buy anymore). He was a very happy camper. I was none the worse for wear. In retrospect, I should have charged him.

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

Hahahahahahaha...awesome!