Comments That Make Your Day

[gordo12]

New comment on Fido:

"I tend to think dogs are little angels sent down to take care of us, so this story makes perfect sense, and was hilarious."

 

[gordo12]

New comment this morning on Cheatify the Bitch:

by XXXXXX 8 hours ago
Very good flash story.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Well, I had a really nice piece of feedback today which compared me to Anais Nin, which I loved, and partly because I do enjoy Anais Nin's writing. It was rather flattering, but the best part was, I had almost the same feedback (mentioning Anais Nin) from another reader about a week ago, and both were referring to the same story. It's made my week, even if I'm not egotistical enough to think I'm as good as Anais Nin.....

 

[KeithD]

After being here for a decade and a half I got my very first venomous personal hate mail through the site feedback system this afternoon. Gee, I can't even begin to guess who it was from from what it said. It was anonymous, of course.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Well, I had a really nice piece of feedback today which compared me to Anais Nin, which I loved, and partly because I do enjoy Anais Nin's writing. It was rather flattering, but the best part was, I had almost the same feedback (mentioning Anais Nin) from another reader about a week ago, and both were referring to the same story. It's made my week, even if I'm not egotistical enough to think I'm as good as Anais Nin.....

High praise indeed! You rock, girl .

 

[ChloeTzang]

High praise indeed! You rock, girl .

Yes, it was really nice, and especially so that I got similar feedback from two different readers in completely different parts of the world within a few days of each other. It was very motivating, and it really gave me the warm fuzzies.

After being here for a decade and a half I got my very first venomous personal hate mail through the site feedback system this afternoon. Gee, I can't even begin to guess who it was from from what it said. It was anonymous, of course.

Yikes! I feel for you. I've had one or two excessively nasty comments on the story comments, but so far no hate mail thru the feedback option. On the other hand, feedback like that is rather more indicative of the person who sent it than the writing abilities of the author, so in many ways, that sort of feedback is much more a self-own by whoever wrote it. Anyhow, here's some Hugs to compensate

 

[KeithD]

Y


Yikes! I feel for you. I've had one or two excessively nasty comments on the story comments, but so far no hate mail thru the feedback option. On the other hand, feedback like that is rather more indicative of the person who sent it than the writing abilities of the author, so in many ways, that sort of feedback is much more a self-own by whoever wrote it. Anyhow, here's some Hugs to compensate

Thanks. The really strange thing is that it's been a decade and a half that I've been doing what the puppy who sent me the hate mail says I've been doing, but yet this was the very first highly personal hate mail I've ever gotten through the site feedback system--from anyone.

Like the cover of your latest book, by the way.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm amused by the colour rant. I'm making him think about colours. One of my characters has tetrachromacy, so she sees a lot more colours than the rest of us. I guess Karen mentioning them got him angry.

He's gonna fucking DIE of neuron overload when I introduce Solresol in a bit... XD

Or do a H.P. Lovecraft homage to the Colour Out of Space, and go on about describing an other worldly color, without every saying what the color even resembled.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Or do a H.P. Lovecraft homage to the Colour Out of Space, and go on about describing an other worldly color, without every saying what the color even resembled.

After that, I'll sic giant albino penguins on him.

That or an army of toilet ducks. Either way, probably fatal.

 

[SimonDoom]

You can switch through two or even three people but more than that it gets tricky.

I don't think there's any limit to how many point-of-view characters you have, so long as you do it right. The usual way is to switch points of view at chapter or section breaks.

But I think head-hopping in erotica sometimes works, as long as it's clear who is thinking. I thought it was clear in Party Wrangler's story. I wrote a mom-son story where I told the scene from the point of view of both of them, and, while I wouldn't do it that way again, it wasn't confusing. The readers seemed OK with it; it's my most popular story.

This is one of those rules that should be filed under "Good advice, most of the time" rather than "Inflexible rule."

 

[Bramblethorn]

Or do a H.P. Lovecraft homage to the Colour Out of Space, and go on about describing an other worldly color, without every saying what the color even resembled.

I liked the way the German adaption "Die Farbe" handled this - the film was entirely in B&W, except for "the colour", which I think was in some sort of creepy purple. Obviously they couldn't actually do a new colour on screen, but it worked for conveying "this is unnatural and unfamiliar".

 

[NoJo]

This is one of those rules that should be filed under "Good advice, most of the time" rather than "Inflexible rule."

My natural contrariness makes me try to provide counter-examples to creative writing rules.

"Head-hopping" was used to comedic effect in Annie Hall in Diane Keaton and Woody Allen's dialog on the rooftop.

 

[SimonDoom]

I just got this one for my new story Teddy Bear:

"best story I have ever read on Literotica!"

 

[ElectricBlue]

I just got this one for my new story Teddy Bear:

"best story I have ever read on Literotica!"

Can't be. I've had that comment half a dozen times. Could be a different guy, I guess .

I'd better go take a look, see what bizarre idea you've come up with this time.

Also, shameless self promotion hijack, did you see the cameo I gave you in my noir thing?

 

[SimonDoom]

Can't be. I've had that comment half a dozen times. Could be a different guy, I guess .

I'd better go take a look, see what bizarre idea you've come up with this time.

Also, shameless self promotion hijack, did you see the cameo I gave you in my noir thing?

I'm on my way to see it right now!

 

[NotWise]

I found this in my mailbox just before I had to get ready for work:

I have been reading literotica since early 2001, on my giant yellow Nextel phone. Over 20 years now. Today is the day I decided to make an account to find a way to follow your stories. I read your story Watch Me! first. The title and short descriptions of your stories are HORRIBLE. I'm laughing and smiling because they are that bad. Your stories are some of the best things I have ever read on here. 20 years of internet erotica. Thousands of stories. Thank you and I hope this receives you well.

There's no accounting for tastes, but it totally made my day -- especially since I got such a laugh out of it. I'm going to have to ask how to fix my titles and short descriptions.

 

[ElectricBlue]

There's no accounting for tastes, but it totally made my day -- especially since I got such a laugh out of it. I'm going to have to ask how to fix my titles and short descriptions.

Engage Simon as your title consultant.

 

[NotWise]

Engage Simon as your title consultant.

Or 8letters, but I don't think either of them wants to read my stuff closely enough to give an opinion.

 

[SimonDoom]

Or 8letters, but I don't think either of them wants to read my stuff closely enough to give an opinion.

Not so. I'd be happy to. You've been doing this long enough, however, that I'm not sure how useful my input would be. And right now I'm very busy with, among other things, getting my Halloween story done. So it's not something I can do right away.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I found this in my mailbox just before I had to get ready for work:



There's no accounting for tastes, but it totally made my day -- especially since I got such a laugh out of it. I'm going to have to ask how to fix my titles and short descriptions.

I would pay money to somebody to write my blurbs. Not a lot of money, but maybe a couple of bucks? It's one of the things that just stumps me every time, and then six months later I look over my stories list and think "shit, what an awful blurb".

 

[SimonDoom]

Or 8letters, but I don't think either of them wants to read my stuff closely enough to give an opinion.

I just scanned your story list and focused on the titles and taglines.

I don't think they're as bad as your commenter suggested. "Watch me!" seems like a perfectly legitimate title. Something I like about it is that it's in the command form, and there may be an element of suggestion that persuades the potential reader to click on it. That story has done very well, both in terms of views and its high score, so that grumpy reader may just be an outlier.

I like "Rachel needs more from her mom than a few good pics." Why? Because the potential reader wants to know what the "more" is. One can guess, more or less, but it creates a mystery the reader wants to solve.

A few thoughts on your taglines generally:

1. I think taglines where possible should be in a sentence form. They're more interesting with a verb.

2. Where possible, the tagline should be sexy. It should be suggestive of something and titillating.

3. I don't think it serves any purpose to use names in a tagline. The potential reader doesn't know whom you are talking about and doesn't care. Use "brother" and "sister", not "Jim" and "Kerrie." Or for example, rather than "Clint's wife Amy becomes Ryan's responsibility," make it "Wife becomes responsibility of husband's best friend." The names add nothing. With that last title, if possible add a sexy adjective in front of "wife." I didn't read the story so I don't know what adjective would apply. Both you and Bramblethorn, who weighed in, use names a lot. Change "Pixie and her neighbor's boy in hot times by the pool" to "Lusty MILF gets hot with neighbor boy by the pool." Ditch the name and add a verb.

4. Before choosing a tagline, consult the list of popular tags for that category. If you can choose words from the tag list, do so. These are popular, searched-for words in that category.

5. As I indicate re Watch Me! I think it's helpful if your tagline posits a mystery that the reader will want to find the answer to. For instance, my story Late Night On The Loveseat With Mom has the tagline "Mom and son get under the blanket, and, well . . ." The ellipsis helps lead the potential reader to the story to find out what happens after the ellipsis. I'm convinced that my title and tagline helped make that story as popular as it's been.

6. After you choose it, give it a few minutes, go back to it, stare at it, and ask "Would I be titillated by this tagline enough to want to read the story? Does my tagline make my story stand out in an appealing way?"

7. If you are still stuck, ask yourself what is the sexiest, or if it's not sexy what is the most interesting, part of the story. Focus on that in the tagline. Don't ask questions like, what do they spend most of their time doing? The reader wants to know what's sexy about the story, or at least interesting. Excitement prevails over descriptiveness.

8. It's ESPECIALLY important to have a sexy tagline if you don't have a sexy title. Some authors see the title as part of the art of the story. I don't, but I understand that view. But the sole purpose of the tagline is to get eyeballs on the story. It's promotional, pure and simple. Forget art. Forget being accurate. Tease and titillate and acquire eyeballs.

 

[KeithD]

I
3. I don't think it serves any purpose to use names in a tagline. The potential reader doesn't know whom you are talking about and doesn't care. .

I have whole series of stories/books based on a character name: Sam Winterberry, Clint Folsom, Hardesty, Kavanaugh. I've started using them as taglines on Literotica stories and this certainly helps me find stories in those separate series even if it might not help someone else--but it would help them if they wanted to follow the themed series these characters link

 

[Bramblethorn]

2. Where possible, the tagline should be sexy. It should be suggestive of something and titillating.

I think this depends on the story you're trying to market. My stories almost always have sex in them, and hopefully it's sexy sex, but a reader who shows up looking for stroke material will probably be disappointed. Of mine, "Counting to Eleven" is probably the one with the most titillating tagline; it's the one with the highest views, and also one of the lowest scoring, and I suspect that's partly because I was too effective at enticing the wrong viewers.

I'd suggest that the tagline should sell the story on what the author thinks its strengths are, whether that's sex or something else. (But don't expect to find great examples of this in my own taglines.)

3. I don't think it serves any purpose to use names in a tagline. The potential reader doesn't know whom you are talking about and doesn't care. Use "brother" and "sister", not "Jim" and "Kerrie." Or for example, rather than "Clint's wife Amy becomes Ryan's responsibility," make it "Wife becomes responsibility of husband's best friend." The names add nothing. With that last title, if possible add a sexy adjective in front of "wife." I didn't read the story so I don't know what adjective would apply. Both you and Bramblethorn, who weighed in, use names a lot.

For recurring characters, name recognition can be useful.

For first chapters/stand-alones... well, "Sarah" isn't very informative, but it conveys slightly more information than "woman" and it doesn't take any more characters.

I think using "brother" and "sister" is good advice for stories in I/T where it helps readers find their fetish, but in other places it can be confusing and may cause readers to mistake stories for I/T when it isn't. Similarly when I see "wife" in a tagline it usually suggests cheating or swinging, and if I'm not looking for those topics I'd be less likely to click on "wife" than "Jane" or whatever.

 

[NotWise]

My stories almost always have sex in them, and hopefully it's sexy sex, but a reader who shows up looking for stroke material will probably be disappointed. Of mine, "Counting to Eleven" is probably the one with the most titillating tagline; it's the one with the highest views, and also one of the lowest scoring, and I suspect that's partly because I was too effective at enticing the wrong viewers.

This is one of my concerns when I name stories. I think most of my stories are disappointing for stroke readers, and that's why the early voters usually score them low. I don't want to exaggerate that effect by giving the stories stroke-y titles and short descriptions, but maybe I should.

I think the closest I've come to a stroke title was "Sex Under Studio Lights" with the short description "Artistic Aunt Deb is My Gateway to Mom." The first score I saw for the story was the lowest score I saw. The score has gone up slowly ever since, and with little help from sweeps.

There are scenes with sexual tension fairly early in the story, but the promised studio lights don't appear until page 3 of 5, and the Mom/son scenes start after that. I think most stroke readers bail out and/or vote low under those conditions.

"Watch Me!" has a similar pattern, but more help from the contest sweeps. Among commenters, the length and focus of that story were controversial.

 

[desecration]

I would pay money to somebody to write my blurbs. Not a lot of money, but maybe a couple of bucks?

Wasn't this what Fiverr was supposed to be for?