Comment Asshattery

[lovecraft68]

This thread is inspired by another(I think there's two of them, different forums) called PM asshattery where (mostly) women post the shitty PM's they've gotten here. Between that and we have a comments that make your day thread, I thought why not start one to share some of the rudest or dumbest comments we get? Or, and these are the ones that make me roll my eyes, the ones that rant about something that didn't even happen in the story, courtesy of the type of troll who doesn't read it and just thinks they know what you're doing.

This can be seen as a thread to share a laugh at the expense of the commenting cretin, commiserate over them as we all get them. Or even some catharsis in the sense of maybe it bothers you to a degree, but now you have a place to share and laugh about it.

Bonus points if the comment has an actual handle and isn't anon.

Also, name the category. I know LW is going to rep huge here, but the trolls aren't just hanging out in there.

For extra fun you can also "reply" to the comment here.

 

[lovecraft68]

This idea also stemmed from reading through some comments on one of my stories from a couple years ago.


From an LW story Sealing the Deal

by mattenw  on 09/28/2022

As usual, idiots don't die out and this author and his story prove it!


Sorry, Matt. Only the good die young.

 

[femmeappeal]

This idea also stemmed from reading through some comments on one of my stories from a couple years ago.


From an LW story Sealing the Deal

by mattenw  on 09/28/2022

As usual, idiots don't die out and this author and his story prove it!


Sorry, Matt. Only the good die young.

Clearly Matt has never heard of the Darwin Awards.

 

[elizaloo]

I have one!!

Background: most of my stories were written a long time ago - I left during treatment, came back and started writing again. I've added to an old series, and created a few new ones.

This gem came about two years ago on a new series - and I don't quite understand what their point is? Given that it's about a woman who takes up running to distract herself from her ragingly vanilla life, then meets up with a guy (on one of her late-night runs) who helps her explore her sexuality by setting up different situations for her to experience...


by Anonymous user on 06/04/2022

Could have been a 5 - gave it a 3. Would have been better without the blindfold.

 

[StillStunned]

Could have been a 5 - gave it a 3. Would have been better without the blindfold.

Clearly, your anonymous reader wanted to rate you 5 stars, but they were wearing a blindfold and misseed, and instead gave you 3.

 

[mildlyaroused]

"fucking fuck"

- Anonymous (this is them and their critical genius below)

 

[Rob_Royale]

This one is at the top of the heap for me. The poster seems to think that my characters have a life beyond the pages. Not sure if it was sarcasm or ....

by Anonymous user on 06/09/2023
Diana is a little over forty years old! She's still fertile! Why is there no mention of contraception? I am infuriated by such a superficial approach, inattentive to details and disregard for such important, fundamental moments that can change the course of the narrative. For example, the author forgot to mention the prevention of fertilization and Diana, about the author's connivance, without thinking about it, got pregnant. Unknown - from her husband or from Henry? What then? That's how, by an oversight of the author, the life and relationships between the characters, therefore, the whole general plot of this story could radically change. It's a good thing that didn't happen. But next time, please be more careful. Ignoring this kind of thing can lead to the fact that your adored and once obedient characters can get out of control, live their own lives and mock your powerlessness to change anything in their now completely unpredictable fate. Believe me, it hurts, it really hurts...

 

[HeyAll]

I disabled comments for my new stories, except for lesbian, though I may disable comments there as well for upcoming stories. Don't regret it at all. Will continue that practice for the foreseeable future.

 

[onehitwanda]

by Anonymous user on 02/13/2024

Another story that begins so beautifully... And so filthy spoiled. Another sex on the first date... Moreover, the poor girl, who a few minutes ago could not utter a word without nervous hesitation and uncertainty, from some dick climbed to molest a serious respected woman. Simply so. Just because she was drunk and emboldened. It's just "BRILLIANT." And most importantly: dozens of comments "It's wonderful, it's a masterpiece, it makes me feel!". Guys, just go watch porn. Goodbye Wanda, you were good... once.

by Anonymous user on 02/13/2024

Well, after reading the story to the end, I declare: It's very cheap. Why should I empathize with any of the characters if they just didn't have time to make love? Two girls met, fucked on the first date, and then because of the cheap trick "I got it, I don't want to listen to you anymore" they had a fight. They've only known each other for a few days. I have no emotions about this quarrel, I did not get attached to their relationship because THEY DID NOT EXIST. I have no more words. One big disappointment...

"Another story that begins so beautifully..."
"Well, after reading the story..."

As the author of these two comments, I want to make it clear one last time: Wanda's old stories are the only thing in my life that caused butterflies in my stomach after reading. The way the author describes ordinary actions (casual touches, hugs, glances, walking, body language) is real art, which belongs at exhibitions. The old stories were also sometimes naive, absurd. But they always had relationships in the foreground. Apparently, Wanda is tired of this. She no longer enjoys writing such stories herself. Now she is interested in describing large-scale events, not small ones. This is her right as an author. She does it for free, so no one has the right to demand anything from her (although I would pay for a story in the old style). But new stories, in my opinion, rush things too much. There is no room for romance in them. They don't cause butterflies in the stomach. That's why I felt so hurt. Other people, judging by the assessment, like such changes (in my experience, dirty vulgar stories always collect the highest number of views and ratings, unlike stories focused on relationships). So I just want to speak out one last time and go look for another author.

I mean, I should be happy that I angered someone so much, right?

 

[Publius68]

I've been rolling this magnum opus around in my head, keeping the tab open since it dropped three days ago. It's on an old one-off story, An Accidental Photo Shoot.
I'm not so much sure it is @lovecraft68's idea of asshattery, but it is... extraordinary. And who the fuck does this?
This dude, writing as a woman, posted a whole fucking story in my comments. Too short for 750 words, but still, sort of a story. And has nothing to do with my story other than involving photography.

I responded to a listing for animation models. I had done art and some photography posing so decided to apply. The studio had a walkway all around about two feet off the ground with a rubber mat to walk that was maybe three-feet wide. The photo equipment was in the middle. My first session involved wearing jeans and a bra and walking forward and backward at various paces for two-hours. At the next session I learned I was again going to do the walking only "less encumbered." Translated, that meant my journey today would have me completely nude. I had done other modeling but that had very little movement. We did the same walking procedure as before only they convinced me this was "art" and not to be shy. Following that initial test I was called back to do running, jumping, crawling and some fitness routines, all minus any attire. Finally I was told my work was very good and I would be having a sex scene for my animated character. By this time I was starting to believe I was that character and was familiar with the animation crew. My two hours session that day involved the crew filming me while I proceeded to suck all seven members of the crew off. I was told a Wonder Woman character would not be phased doing such a request for "art." The following week I found a different filming configuration. Cameras had been moved to the walkways and the center area had what looked like a large low trampoline. I was told to get naked and to jump on the trampoline until they had enough footage. I must have bounced on it for what seemed like forever. Standing there hot, sweaty and tired, I was surprised to see a figure dressed as an African native wearing just a loin cloth and body paint approach me. Before I knew what was transpiring he pushed my down on the mat, removed the loin cloth and proceeded fuck me before of the crew.



In a few minutes I felt him cum, followed by the director saying, "That was great, who do we have next?". I looked up to see a guy in a dog suit about to take me.

I fought the urge just now to edit it...

 

[onehitwanda]

I've been rolling this magnum opus around in my head, keeping the tab open since it dropped three days ago. It's on an old one-off story, An Accidental Photo Shoot.
I'm not so much sure it is @lovecraft68's idea of asshattery, but it is... extraordinary. And who the fuck does this?
This dude, writing as a woman, posted a whole fucking story in my comments. Too short for 750 words, but still, sort of a story. And has nothing to do with my story other than involving photography.

I fought the urge just now to edit it...

oh my god.

 

[8letters]

I have a commenter who regularly offers me writing advice. Here is their first comment on one of my stories. The story is currently in the I/T Hall of Fame:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I have to say I like your writing style, though you need to work on going from 1st Person to 3rd person, it gets confusing at times and makes the story telling "Sterile" when you are not being detail oriented [8L: There's no 3rd person in the story]. Going back and forth is the First Deadly Sin in novel writing. If you've never taken a college level Writing Class, I'd suggest you do, even at Community College level IF you find an experienced Prof and not some clown who's just citing from a Text book and only write Tech Manuals.

You do a very good job of building your characters, when you are writing essentially a romance novel, even if it's Autoerotic in whatever genre, try being more "romantic" and "feeling", not so "grey scale". You are not black and white, but be more colorful. Women writer don't have a corner on this.

Also, Stop "running on your paragraphs"!! ANY change in thought MEANS A NEW PARAGRAPH!! So many "writers" on this cite write like that never paid attention in their English classes after 3rd grade. Sign up for a paid only Grammar/Spell checker, the one built into later versions of MS Word is impressive and makes a good alternative to a living PROFESSIONAL Editor. [8L: I've used both Word's grammar checker and Grammarly on this story]

Lastly, I personally think this particular story deserves another chapter, you left too much hanging. How do they broach their romantic relationship to their aged and likely conservative parents, you hint (built that in several exchanges in the story) that Nora wants to get pregnant, have at least one child, how do these two intelligent professionals solve that issue (marriage I assume and a pregnancy)? If Nora is this clever Lawyer, and not the typical scum bag, it would be fascinating to read her solutions. This is your fantasy writing, dream and research what they can do in Florida or somewhere else. (not that brother/sister marriage and pregnancy is a lot of the hick areas of Florida.

I like the dominant Female and supportive mate Male story line, (I don't mean a Bitchy Mean woman over a meek male either), it's far too over-looked in the writing of Novella's, whether sexual or not. I would encourage you to continue this in some of your stories.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
It cracked me up that the commenter tries to come across as so much more knowledgeable about writing than me but makes errors in almost every sentence.

 

[elizaloo]

This one is at the top of the heap for me. The poster seems to think that my characters have a life beyond the pages. Not sure if it was sarcasm or ....

by Anonymous user on 06/09/2023
Diana is a little over forty years old! She's still fertile! Why is there no mention of contraception? I am infuriated by such a superficial approach, inattentive to details and disregard for such important, fundamental moments that can change the course of the narrative. For example, the author forgot to mention the prevention of fertilization and Diana, about the author's connivance, without thinking about it, got pregnant. Unknown - from her husband or from Henry? What then? That's how, by an oversight of the author, the life and relationships between the characters, therefore, the whole general plot of this story could radically change. It's a good thing that didn't happen. But next time, please be more careful. Ignoring this kind of thing can lead to the fact that your adored and once obedient characters can get out of control, live their own lives and mock your powerlessness to change anything in their now completely unpredictable fate. Believe me, it hurts, it really hurts...

I read this as a totally tongue-in-cheek comment....but this is how I would comment on a similar story if I were in the right frame of mind....I can be kind of a smart-ass if the mood strikes me.

The key comments What then?
adored and once obedient characters can get out of control, live their own lives etc.

Def mocking, but I think in a 'funny' way.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I mean, I should be happy that I angered someone so much, right?

I don't do commissions but I would be sorely tempted to call them on that "I would pay".

 

[Rob_Royale]

I read this as a totally tongue-in-cheek comment....but this is how I would comment on a similar story if I were in the right frame of mind....I can be kind of a smart-ass if the mood strikes me.

The key comments What then?
adored and once obedient characters can get out of control, live their own lives etc.

Def mocking, but I think in a 'funny' way.

Well, they have a back belt in sarcasm then, because it just came off as crazy to me. You're probably right though.

 

[Djmac1031]

I've shared this before, but it's still one of my best:

Story: My Sister's Skincare
Plot summary: Sister convinces Brother to cum on her face to help cure her acne problem. They're locked down during Covid and she has no other options.

Absolutely ridiculous scenario, intentionally so.

So there was this comment, short and to the point:

by muskyboy on 12/02/2021
Unrealistically reluctant brother

Followed later by this one:

by redpoppies on 12/10/2021
I agree with muskyboy. Where did his anti-incest feelings come from? He's not a Boy Scout. We don't read of him going to church, or that his dad and/or mom were uptight conservatives, or his uncle molested him, or whatever. So all his protestations seem formulaic and perfunctory. So find another way to heighten the tension in the story, or provide sufficient evidence to support your character's position.

Two readers who both had a problem, not with the ridiculous premise, nope.

No, their problem was that Brother was hesitant to jerk off on his Sister's face at all.

Because apparently for these guys, wanting to fuck your sister is NORMAL and should be the DEFAULT POSITION.

 

[Djmac1031]

My second favorite.

Story: My Daughter, The Nudist
Plot summary: Dad must come to grips with his dark desires when his Daughter suddenly decides to take up a Nudist lifestyle around him.

Spoiler alert: Dad doesn't fuck her. Never lays a finger on her in fact.

I wrestled with this story for a long time because I knew readers might expect them to actually fuck in the end.

Most readers got what I was going for.

Except this guy. He really, like really, wanted them to fuck.

by Screenplayer on 06/27/2023
Idiotic. What the heck is the matter with Phil (aka you?) She's not a child, and he wouldnt be "exploiting" her, for gods sake. In fact she's far less of a child than he is - she could have taught him so much about intimacy. Theres so much more to mature sex - physical bonding - than Phil denied to them both, with much permanent damage and estrangement, because of his/your thoroughly fatuous (fat-headed) attachment to childish Sunday school mumbo jumbo, and archaic Augustinian control mechanisms. And yet he/you embraced prostitution, and the amorality of all that tawdry, scripted deception and secrecy.
Life is so short, with so few chances of experiencing something special, without a harmful downside.
You've saddened my whole day.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've shared this before, but it's still one of my best:

Story: My Sister's Skincare
Plot summary: Sister convinces Brother to cum on her face to help cure her acne problem. They're locked down during Covid and she has no other options.

Absolutely ridiculous scenario, intentionally so.

So there was this comment, short and to the point:



Followed later by this one:



Two readers who both had a problem, not without the ridiculous premise, nope.

No, their problem was that Brother was hesitant to jerk off on his Sister's face at all.

Because apparently for these guys, wanting to fuck your sister is NORMAL and should be the DEFAULT POSITION.

Its not so much in terms of a brother fucking his sister, this crowd is everywhere. Those guys are from the "every character that doesn't put it to the bitch is a simp, cuck, fag"

Really wish they'd seal off the Loving wives cat box to keep all the turds in there.

 

[NoTalentHack]

Its not so much in terms of a brother fucking his sister, this crowd is everywhere. Those guys are from the "every character that doesn't put it to the bitch is a simp, cuck, fag"

Really wish they'd seal off the Loving wives cat box to keep all the turds in there.

Ah, but you'd still be out in the wider world.

 

[Djmac1031]

Its not so much in terms of a brother fucking his sister, this crowd is everywhere. Those guys are from the "every character that doesn't put it to the bitch is a simp, cuck, fag"

Really wish they'd seal off the Loving wives cat box to keep all the turds in there.

The funny part is, in my story, Brother offers maybe the most feeble attempts at NOT going along with Sister's request.

His willpower to resist temptation lasts maybe 5 minutes, tops.

 

[lovecraft68]

Ah, but you'd still be out in the wider world.

Um, yeah, that was kind of the point, outside the cat box.

 

[lovecraft68]

The funny part is, in my story, Brother offers maybe the most feeble attempts at NOT going along with Sister's request.

His willpower to resist temptation lasts maybe 5 minutes, tops.

And that, pal, is 4:59 too long!

 

[LilyWaters]

I didn't clearly specify whether the two women in my story had bushes or not, he assumed they didn't, and he did NOT like it:

"Rated it a 4, but a description of abundant pussy hair (like there should have been- always be) would have gotten you a firm 5! dont leave out the pussy hair, it causes your readers to think it is shaved stubbled up nonsense that is not just irritating to the skin of your lover, but repulsive to look at (the appearance of a plucked chicken's "ass" with feather quills - stubble, once again "sickening"!!!!) with the "nasty" pimples growing in it. Get serious with your writing and loose the disgusting razor burn (hairless) suggestion in your show don't tell shit!"

Yeah, come on Lily, the smut that I am consuming for free does not fit my very specific predilection, GET SERIOUS WITH YOUR WRITING

 

[Lovecraft_Lore]

If I don't at least one negative comment I feel like I am not doing a good job.

The one I wrote a few years back for April fools had 1.5 stars for a long while. The plot twist was the guy was getting his dick sucked by a frat boy in drag, not a coed at all.

 

[karina_jayde]

I didn't clearly specify whether the two women in my story had bushes or not, he assumed they didn't, and he did NOT like it:

"Rated it a 4, but a description of abundant pussy hair (like there should have been- always be) would have gotten you a firm 5! dont leave out the pussy hair, it causes your readers to think it is shaved stubbled up nonsense that is not just irritating to the skin of your lover, but repulsive to look at (the appearance of a plucked chicken's "ass" with feather quills - stubble, once again "sickening"!!!!) with the "nasty" pimples growing in it. Get serious with your writing and loose the disgusting razor burn (hairless) suggestion in your show don't tell shit!"

Yeah, come on Lily, the smut that I am consuming for free does not fit my very specific predilection, GET SERIOUS WITH YOUR WRITING

Lol, I've seen that commenter pop up on a few other stories (none of my own). Seems to just go berserk in the comments if a character's pubes arent described to his liking.