Coming Out

[chunkybu77]

Hi all, im still relatively firmly in the closet, and i just came out to my ex gf and were still close friends, shes fine with it and nothings changed. But i feel i should come out to my best friend however hes straight and sort of homophobic. Hes said before that if any of our friends were gay he think it was weird at first but hed be ok with it. Advice anyone?? maybe stories of how u came out will help thanks

 

[DerelictionOfSanity]

My straight best friend was actually the first person I came out to. It's often easier to come out to a friend than to parents/family. In fact, it was a full two years after I told him that I finally did come out to my folks and the rest of my friends. In fact, I actually came out to my friends on facebook. It worked well for me, because I didn't feel comfortable making some big announcement about it, as if it made me a different person or something like that. Those of my friends who had questions asked them and the rest just sort of shrugged, went "whatever." and went back to life as usual.

It's a difficult thing to do and I've often felt that it's grossly unfair that gay people have to got through it, whereas no straight person has to explicitly state that they like the opposite sex.

On the whole though, I was very lucky about coming out. Most people don't care, some of my friends were quite supportive (one has been a little too supportive, in terms of trying to hook me up with the whole gay universe), my mother worried for me and my dad, who I thought would completely freak out, just wanted to be sure that I hadn't been having unsafe sex. He does avoid clicking on my interent bookmarks now, just in case.

 

[bi_asian_guy]

*****

 

[gaymm]

Have you considered that maybe he wasn't talking about any of your friends in general but about *you* specifically?

On occasion when someone in my life has expressed some level of homophobia I've used the opportunity to mention that I am bi. I enjoy showing semi-homophobes that they've been close to someone who is something they thought was not good, to try to make them see that their hangup is what's wrong. (I wouldn't do that to someone who is a raving homophobe since I care about my safety, but then again I tend not to hang out with those types anyhow). It's generally worked out very well; it has opened some eyes. I've usually had a sense of how the person would react; once I backed off when it was clear the homophobia was too strong, and I decided to end the friendship.

+1, I felt this way too. He may already have a strong idea, and just is trying to get you to tell him.

 

[blklthrjkt]

I've been out of the closet for years, but when I first came out to my straight friends and business associates it was a tough decision. I finally decided that hiding wasn't worth the effort any more and gradually let the info out.

Still had all my friends, and found more than a few of them were ready to talk about it. A couple even confided in me that they were gay as well.

 

[Nimbikarana]

I can't advise you because i'm still closeted, but I wish you the best of luck.

 

[chunkybu77]

I dame out to him a week ago now, he was absolutely fine with it. it changed absolutely nothing. from what ive heard im pretty lucky. i can be me

 

[bi_asian_guy]

*****