Coming Out

[lucky-E-leven]

I no more chose to be gay than to have brown hair and green eyes. Does that make it genetic? I don't use that as my reasoning, but that's how it worked for me and seems a standard story with all my lezbean friends. I don't know anything about being hard-wired, though I think we are certainly predisposed to certain things. That said, it's really not about choosing to be gay. That would imply the lifestyle was come by easily, and I can tell you from experience that just ain't the case.

I did the 'societal norm' thing for a good long time, and while it looked good from the outside, it was as broken as can be on the inside. Now, lying down next to the woman of my dreams every night, all is right with my world. If it rubs people wrong or doesn't mesh with their paradigms, it's hardly my problem. My jeans/genes are right where they're supposed to be.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

opening scene:
large shower stall...mom sitting on bath stool and me standing in shower washing mom.

"so..." says i.
"so..." says she.
"well, you know how i thought i might be bi?" askes i
"yes?" says she.
"well, im not." states me.
"ok." says she.
"i'm a lezbean." sayeth me.
silence
long silence
hands cover face
she looks like shes crying
...
looks up at me and laughingly...
"I've always wanted a lezbean daughter."

have yet to have a negative reaction to my being HAPPY.

my sister just hates that im happy.

This is, by far, my favorite coming out story of all time.

 

[Liar]

Enlighten me then. Is it spiritual? I already covered the genetic part. Please, I'm not trolling here. I'm curious. I personally think it is all a choice whether a concious one or not.

It's like anything else when it comes to preferrence.

I don't like olives. But I love garlic. That's not a conscious choice on my behalf.

What is an unconscious choice? Who chooses? The little gnome in the back of my head?

 

[sophia jane]

My jeans/genes are right where they're supposed to be.

Hopefully, in a pile on the floor.

 

[Liar]

This is, by far, my favorite coming out story of all time.

It's a kickass one.

I kinda like this one.

Me: "Grandma? This is my girlfriend, Karin."
Karin: "Hello, maam."
Grandma: "Girlfriend? Last time I looked...weren't you a, whiatsitcalled, homosexual?"
Me: "I guess so."
Grandma: "And you are not a boy in girl clothes, dear?"
Karin: "No, maam."
Grandma: "No, you don't look the part. Oh well. Coffee?"
Karin & Me: "Yes, please."
Grandma: "Mrs Ledin next door has a transvestite nurse, you know. Lovely girl. Or boy."

I dig my family.

 

[Belegon]

My first experience with a friend coming out was so powerful that I have never since thought there was any "choice" involved. He so very much wanted to be straight. Hey, I went to a Catholic all-boy high school...and this is 25 years ago, and believe me, things are much better now in that world for gays. Can you imagine being gay at an all-boy high school before "faggot" became thought of as hate-speech? He did NOT "want" to be gay...

Because I refused to give up our friendship, I went through some hassle with it too...and at one point even thought about whether I was myself...my first serious grirlfriend broke me of that notion though. My confusion had more to do with accepting his sexuality then it did with mine.

Senoior year, I even had a rival tell the girl I eventually took to the senior prom that I was gay so she would not go out with me. I'll tell the story sometime.

ending point: You will never, ever convince me that a person "chooses" their orientation. They only choose whether or not to live a lie.

 

[Guest]

It's a kickass one.

I kinda like this one.

Me: "Grandma? This is my girlfriend, Karin."
Karin: "Hello, maam."
Grandma: "Girlfriend? Last time I looked...weren't you a, whiatsitcalled, homosexual?"
Me: "I guess so."
Grandma: "And you are not a boy in girl clothes, dear?"
Karin: "No, maam."
Grandma: "No, you don't look the part. Oh well. Coffee?"
Karin & Me: "Yes, please."
Grandma: "Mrs Ledin next door has a transvestite nurse, you know. Lovely girl. Or boy."

I dig my family.

very cool.
i dig your family too
and mine.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Hopefully, in a pile on the floor.

If I'm lucky.

And last I checked...

 

[Nirvanadragones]

I was inspired by Vella's beautiful dialogue... Here is mine. Picture this... Cape town, South Africa, 1991. I am 15 going on 16 and very much in love.

Me: Dad, I want you to meet Tasneem. She's my girlfriend.
Dad: (shakes her hand showing no emotion on his face except for a fairly pleasant smile ) Pleased to meet you Tasneem.
Her: Please to meet you too.

Later... much later...

Dad: I want you to know that whatever makes you happy is what I want for you in life. Just checking though... are you sure?
Me: Sure about what? That I don't have a problem with her age difference? (she was 11 years older than me) Or that we are fine with the difference in religion? (she was muslem) Or that she's gay?
Dad: Does any of those things matter to you?
Me: Yes all of them, because it makes her who she is.

I moved in with her a few days later. We were exclusively together for 4 beautiful years. And after that polyamorously involved for another 6 years.

 

[Liar]

A little something, from a few years ano. A conversation with a "friend" that I maybe wouldn't call hobophobic, but at least homo-queasy.

Him: "Dude, doesn't it bother you that a gay guy hits on you?"
Me: "No, what would bother me would be if it was a straight guy."
Him: "Huh?"

long, long pause

Him: "Oh. Good point."



Not the sharpest tool in the shed, that guy.

 

[Guest]

A little something, from a few years ano. A conversation with a "friend" that I maybe wouldn't call hobophobic,

your friend was afraid of homeless people???


im just givin ya flack.


i love that story.

 

[Liar]

your friend was afraid of homeless people???

Bwah!

Yeah, probably that too.

 

[minsue]

your friend was afraid of homeless people???


im just givin ya flack.


i love that story.

 

[Guest]

lets hold hands and skip down the beach, laughing and having the time of our lives.


or we can just sit still, smoke a ciggie and poke fun at all the jealous peoples

its your choice this time.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

I actually don't believe that sexual orientation is entirely genetic, but have reason to believe that some people have genetic traits that make them predisposed towards hetero/bi/homo-sexual orientation. I've recently moved towards the school of thought that biological rather than genetic factors lead to orientation hard-wiring. I certainly believe that you are hard-wired from birth. If it was indeed a choice, then "sexual therapy" or "orientation therapy" or whatever they're calling it wouldn't have such a universally dismal failure rate (99%).

My 2 cents.

Back to the show.

 

[minsue]

lets hold hands and skip down the beach, laughing and having the time of our lives.


or we can just sit still, smoke a ciggie and poke fun at all the jealous peoples

its your choice this time.

I don't have the lung capacity for laughing or skipping right now. Let's smoke.

 

[Guest]

I actually don't believe that sexual orientation is entirely genetic, but have reason to believe that some people have genetic traits that make them predisposed towards hetero/bi/homo-sexual orientation. I've recently moved towards the school of thought that biological rather than genetic factors lead to orientation hard-wiring. I certainly believe that you are hard-wired from birth. If it was indeed a choice, then "sexual therapy" or "orientation therapy" or whatever they're calling it wouldn't have such a universally dismal failure rate (99%).

My 2 cents.

Back to the show.

you make me dizzy
but i applaud your sentiments
now, lemme pluck you.

 

[Guest]

I don't have the lung capacity for laughing or skipping right now. Let's smoke.

its a date.
meet me on the corner of someday and soon...we'll grab a green bench, smoke until the air clogs and the french actually feel threatened by our tobacco profundity.

 

[minsue]

I actually don't believe that sexual orientation is entirely genetic, but have reason to believe that some people have genetic traits that make them predisposed towards hetero/bi/homo-sexual orientation. I've recently moved towards the school of thought that biological rather than genetic factors lead to orientation hard-wiring. I certainly believe that you are hard-wired from birth. If it was indeed a choice, then "sexual therapy" or "orientation therapy" or whatever they're calling it wouldn't have such a universally dismal failure rate (99%).

My 2 cents.

Back to the show.

What's the diff between biological factors and genetic? (on cold medicine here, people. Have patience with me.)

 

[minsue]

its a date.
meet me on the corner of someday and soon...we'll grab a green bench, smoke until the air clogs and the french actually feel threatened by our tobacco profundity.

I you

 

[AppleBiter]

This thread is so gay.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Can I just take this opportunity to threadjack and say, "I love my wife. She clacks me up."

 

[sophia jane]

Can I just take this opportunity to threadjack and say, "I love my wife. She clacks me up."

No, no threadjacks allowed! (I love your wife too, but not the same as you. I don't think I've ever loved anyone the way y'all love each other. Which is sad, but at least you've given me a goal in life).

How's that for a threadjack?

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

My 2 cents: I did not choose to be gay. In fact, for years all I would admit to was bisexuality. I guess I tried so hard to appear almost normal that inside I almost believed it. My mother being as accepting as she was meant that I never really had to explain my choices. Since her death 2 years ago, I have involved myself more in GLBT events/scenes and recently, became able to admit to myself that men do not work for me on a sexual level.

Do I think it was genetic? Possibly, since I can not recall ever really wanting a guy; I wanted the children he could give me..or the normalacy of being seen as straight...not really the guy as a person.

 

[Evil Alpaca]

What's the diff between biological factors and genetic? (on cold medicine here, people. Have patience with me.)

Genetic factors been directly related to or tied to DNA.

Biological factors are a lot more broad. The fetus, at different stages of pregnancy, are bombarded with a number of hormones and other chemical/biological agents that shape physical (including the brain) development. Certain types of stressors invoked certain chemical releases, etc.