Comedy Of Errors

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.

Beating him

 

[Guru]

Officer


Good sir, be patient.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.

 

[Guru]

Officer


Good, now, hold thy tongue.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


Thou whoreson, senseless villain!

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel
your blows.

 

[Guru]

ANTIPHOLUS


Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an
ass.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
ears. I have served him from the hour of my
nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a
beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.

Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtezan, and PINCH

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or
rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
rope's-end.'
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


Wilt thou still talk?

Beating him

 

[Guru]

Courtezan


How say you now? is not your husband mad?

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


His incivility confirms no less.
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand.

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!

 

[Guru]

Courtezan


Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!

 

[Guru]

PINCH


Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.

Striking him

 

[Guru]

PINCH


I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
To yield possession to my holy prayers
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


You minion, you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
And I denied to enter in my house?

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
Where would you had remain'd until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame!
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?