Comedy Of Errors

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


The fellow is distract, and so am I;
And here we wander in illusions:
Some blessed power deliver us from hence!

Enter a Courtezan

 

[Guru]

Courtezan


Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
Is that the chain you promised me to-day?
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE


Master, is this Mistress Satan?
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


It is the devil.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE


Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here
she comes in the habit of a light wench: and thereof
comes that the wenches say 'God damn me;' that's as
much to say 'God make me a light wench.' It is
written, they appear to men like angels of light:
light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn;
ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.

 

[Guru]

Courtezan


Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE


Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat; or bespeak a
long spoon.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


Why, Dromio?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE


Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with
the devil.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping?
Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress:
I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.

 

[Guru]

Courtezan


Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised,
And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE


Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail,
A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
A nut, a cherry-stone;
But she, more covetous, would have a chain.
Master, be wise: an if you give it her,
The devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.

 

[Guru]

Courtezan


I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain:
I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE


'Fly pride,' says the peacock: mistress, that you know.

Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse

 

[Guru]

Courtezan


Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad,
Else would he never so demean himself.
A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
And for the same he promised me a chain:
Both one and other he denies me now.
The reason that I gather he is mad,
Besides this present instance of his rage,
Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner,
Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
On purpose shut the doors against his way.
My way is now to hie home to his house,
And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
He rush'd into my house and took perforce
My ring away. This course I fittest choose;
For forty ducats is too much to lose.

Exit

 

[Guru]

SCENE IV. A street.



Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and the Officer




ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
And will not lightly trust the messenger
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.

Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's-end

Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


But where's the money?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF EPHESUS


To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?