"Come to Bed" with WickedEve!

[tigerjen]

"Hey, you wanna come to bed?"
I know what he means when this is said. "

A line from a new poem by WickedEve.....creator of
"About My Panties", "Wet Pet", "Sex Hole", "Quickie
Quartet", and "Sensual Sentences'!

In this newbie, the writer focuses on a common situation;
the woman having sex with her man but in her mind, is
fantasizing about another man....oohhhhhh........ I don't
want to give away too much so I'll give you all the link:

"Come to Bed"
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=30802

TJ

 

[alice]

I can identify

Wicked Eve--

Feelin' the pain here. It sucks being with somebody who doesn't have a clue. Your girl is hurting big time. Like how you showed it.

Alice

 

[WickedEve]

Like how you showed it.

Alice, Thanks!

I think I'll pour out my heart, and soul, and sexual frustrations more often. I'm sure other women can relate to some of the stuff I deal with.

WE

 

[garyblue]

Hi Wicked,

Good imagery. I can definitely place myself in this scene, as either party. I wonder, though, if I missed something. Was our protagonist neutral, merely enduring? Was she resentful? Was there any transference?

As it is, your verse reminds of Haiku, which I see as sterile, leaving emotional issues for the reader to format for himself. Which I did. Our Eve made it almost too easy to remember when a being-together went on too long. The sadness for the departed connection. Does he know that Spring and Summer have passed? Does he have that niggling fear that something has gone awry? The greater sadness in this work lies with the partner. She has a new infatuation. He has nothing. Her rejection is like a knife that has cut out his heart. The heart still beats but love is dead.

He takes my body, impales what he can find,
but he can't enter this fantasy or penetrate my mind.

If there is a gripe (normally I wouldn't give a rat's ass about a poem, but this one drags you in), it is that the words don't flow. I keep wanting the words to `fall trippingly from the tongue.' The technical aspects of wordsmithing I shall leave to daughter, UmP, and other masters of the art. I have nothing.

This is a beautifully sad work.

g

 

[WickedEve]

If there is a gripe (normally I wouldn't give a rat's ass about a poem, but this one drags you in), it is that the words don't flow. I keep wanting the words to `fall trippingly from the tongue.'

garyblue, you make me wish I would have put more effort into this poem. It was another quickly written piece. The words and the scene just popped into my mind.

The greater sadness in this work lies with the partner. She has a new infatuation. He has nothing. Her rejection is like a knife that has cut out his heart. The heart still beats but love is dead.
"He takes my body, impales what he can find,
but he can't enter this fantasy or penetrate my mind."

I never stopped to think about the different ways this poem could be interpreted.
There is no rejection by Her. She is dissatisfied but continues to please Him. Her fantasies and... other things... help her deal with a love life that's less than what she Needs.

WE

 

[daughter]

How we interpret things

WE--

Nothing the reader nor critic says is gold. It's just our opinion. I didn't interpret the poem the way gary did. I'm not saying his is right or wrong.

We each bring our own experiences to the screen. Experiences influence how we see things. My interpretation mirrors your explanation. I suspect plenty of women identified with this piece. It was not incomplete for me. This was not light and simple like Jen suggested. The wife, was in a relationship too long, but for reasons(I don't think she needed to explain) she has remained. The fantasy was escape and it wasn't for enjoyment. It was a coping mechanism to get her through the sex.

We all write things in bursts of inspiration. Over time, we usually are less inclined to share them impulsively. Whenever we share them, it's too our advantage at least to be sure what it means to us. That way, when others comment we can intelligently speak to its meaning.

If others see differently, that isn't reason to panic. Take in the feedback and decide if you think it is valid. You can decide that and not counter by the way. Often we have an intent. We accomplish that. That doesn't mean the poem won't have additional meaning and depth we had not intended.

Relax, friend. You write beautifully. Many of us are secretly jealous.

Peace,

daughter

 

[WickedEve]

Hi daughter

Actually, I was pleased to know that this poem can be interpreted the way garyblue interpreted it. This way, more readers can relate to it.
I wasn't sure how much I should explain the poem, so I kept it brief. I'm not very good at critiquing or talking about my own work... yet.

By the way, I hope many are secretly jealous! Dying of envy! Reading my poetry and pulling their hair out! LOL (maniacal laughter!)

WE

 

[daughter]

no dispute

WE--

Let me reiterate, I did not discount gary's interpretation. I said our experiences color our perceptions. I suggested you have an idea about what it is you want to say. Being open to different views in a good thing.


Who's great at critiquing? LOL We're opinionated. That's the only given. We get better by doing it. It ain't gonna happen by osmosis. If you write it and someone asks you about it, have a little confidence that you can speak about it.

Peace,

daughter

 

[Unmasked Poet]

This bed is getting crowded!

Wicked, I'd love to comment but I'm waiting for this to reach the #1 spot.

U.P.

 

[WickedEve]

If you write it and someone asks you about it, have a little confidence that you can speak about it.

I will work on this.
I did have a lot to say about the poem, but I wasn't sure how much to say, how much to explain. I have a tendency to tell more than what's required. lol

U.P. I look forward (I think... lol) to your comments... if it hits #1.

If the bed gets too crowed, I'm moving to the sofa.

WE

 

[tigerjen]

Re: This bed is getting crowded!

Wicked, I'd love to comment but I'm waiting for this
to reach the #1 spot.
.

Make room over here!! "Come to Bed" is within
striking distance of #1!

*"Peter Gunn" Theme song playing*

 

[tigerjen]

As of 12/3/01 6:30pm EST......

"Come to Bed" is #1! In fact, "Sensual Sentences" and
"Fleshy Flower" follow close behind! W.E.......way to go!

TJ