Collars and Collaring

[Chicklet]

this is so, so, so adorable. i hope you don't mind that description.

 

[serijules]

i do have a sort of funny/sad collaring ceremony story to tell tho...fairly recently we were invited over to one of Daddy's "Dom" acquaintance's home for a dinner. nothing formal or fancy, just a simple homecooked meal with friends he says. the other folks in attendance would be 3 more Dominants from their group, and the host's new submissive. well we had dinner, and then afterwards as everyone was preparing to leave (in fact we already had our coats on), he pleads with all of us to stay for just a moment longer. everyone agrees, and he ushers us back into the living room. He calls his sub (who he'd known for all of 2 weeks) to him, tells her to kneel at his feet, and begins reciting what sounds an awful lot like vows. it's immediately apparent that he is conducting some sort of surprise collaring ceremony. unfortunately it was a surprise not just to the guests, but to his sub as well. naturally with everyone there watching uncomfortably, she says yes when he asks her if she will be his property for life.

fast forward 2 months later, and the new "slave" has yet to see her "Master" since the night of the "collaring." He is barely in contact with her, and she informed my Master that the two of them had never engaged in erotic activities of ANY kind, and that due to a severe e.d. issue, most sexual activity would be physically impossible anyway. she's new to the lifestyle but very eager, so she was taken in by this "Dom" who is a big talker (all hot air usually), but honestly never wanted anything more than a casual D/s relationship with this guy. she now considers herself "released," since there has been no contact of any kind for over a month.

this story is a typical example of how the lifestyle tends to be inundated with posers and part-timers who don't have a sincere interest in the lifestyle but for whatever odd reason want to seem as if they do. so they expend a mind-boggling amount of time and energy into building these elaborate fake personas and focus heavily on lots of pomp and circumstance....buying all the "cool" bdsm toys and equipment, frequenting the major local bdsm clubs and munches, sometimes even forming or heading groups themselves, and then this guy took it to the extreme with his "collaring ceremony." then, newbies to the lifestyle meet a Master/slave couple like Daddy and i, who don't own a toy bag, don't go to munches, don't engage in scening and never had a collaring ceremony, and think we're inauthentic. just one of the sad side effects of the near mainstreaming of this life. sorry for the ramble.

Sounds like my first "collaring" years ago with an egomaniac Dom Wannabe. Was a joke, and is embarrassing that I even have it as a memory. Live and learn I guess! I think that's why anything with ceremony makes me uncomfortable now...it just so often has a fake feel about it, like it is being done for the wrong reasons. Not always, but far too often.

 

[UK_Cream]

I've Collared my Kitten. No fuss. No ceremony.

I simply posted the Collar to her and asked her to wear it as soon as UK_Strawberry got it...(we're separated by distance and have yet to meet)...

How I felt when UK_Strawberry told me she was wearing her Collar made me feel....well she knows how it made me feel...

...I think when we meet ....we won't bother with a ceremony...partly because it's too late but mostly because it's very personal to us both

 

[PrimalGirl]

Well Grats to you both, UK Cream and UK_Strawberry! You seem well -suited to one another. I wish you both the best and happiness..

 

[Ebonyfire]

These are from my collaring ceremony with janey, back in January.

Some of the BDSM folk here on Lit attended... *smiles*

https://forum.literotica.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=732906
https://forum.literotica.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=732905
https://forum.literotica.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=732903

I just pulled them out of the SouthEastern US Lit Gathering? thread...

EG, I never saw these before, very nice.

The last slave I had more an ankle bracelet instead of a collar because he worked in a business casual corporate environment, and he just wasn't the neckchain type.

Eb

 

[ecstaticsub]

My collar isn't really a collar, it's a ring. There a long story to it but at this point it is a plain ring I wear constantly between my engagement ring and my wedding band. (I am in a very happy vanilla 20 yr marriage but my Dom is a man I met a couple years ago..also long story. But just FYI my husband supports and encourages me to explore and enjoy this side of me. I keep no secrets from him)

We did have a 2 minute "ceremony", it was more of an exchange of promises than any real ceremony.

 

[wenchhh]

me either geoff, these were great, thanks for sharing!!!

 

[wenchhh]

WOW, wicked good story, thanks for sharing! awww, ain't bdsm love grand??!! (not making fun, just happy that you're happy!)

 

[crazy_grrluk]

My own collar

okies finally found this thread...smirks

My collar is a fine 18ct gold figaro chain given to me by my Master for my birthday last year.
Along with the neckchain I also have an anklet made from the same chain.
The original chain was Master's given to him 25 years ago by a dear friend of his.

We had a private ceremony of sorts at christmas when he flew into England from Australia (chuckles our own ceremony of the roses) In which I got 2 silver trinket boxes and had them engraved with our sig vvv along with the date and each box says Master and the other kitten, to put 2 petals from each rose in...along with 2 bits of the stem and the thorns in which our fingers were pricked and blood exchanged. The muslin cloth that binded our hands together is in my own trinket box.

Master also wears my collar...as so to speak. A neckchain also...but with an anchor pendant which was a family heirloom of mine. So where ever he goes he carries a piece of me with him and I stay close to his heart.

*passes round the sick buckets now* lmao

A collar doesnt mean something round your neck...it can be anything at all...as ecstaticsub said...hers is a ring. it can be any trinket...earrings...broach...bracelet anything at all...smiles.

Master also had another suprise for me at christmas..... dead on midnight christmas morning he proposed to me and I accepted. so I now also wear his ring.

Since recieving my collar from Master last year...I have become more settled and more content with myself. I know where I belong. For once I know who I am.


cg

 

[YourCaptor]

I came across this place while surfing, looks pretty cool, thought this to be the place to add it.

You can customize a generic collar here, sounds odd I know, but I can see so many uses for this.

Collar Factory

 

[catalina_francisco]

this story is a typical example of how the lifestyle tends to be inundated with posers and part-timers who don't have a sincere interest in the lifestyle but for whatever odd reason want to seem as if they do. so they expend a mind-boggling amount of time and energy into building these elaborate fake personas and focus heavily on lots of pomp and circumstance....buying all the "cool" bdsm toys and equipment, frequenting the major local bdsm clubs and munches, sometimes even forming or heading groups themselves, and then this guy took it to the extreme with his "collaring ceremony." then, newbies to the lifestyle meet a Master/slave couple like Daddy and i, who don't own a toy bag, don't go to munches, don't engage in scening and never had a collaring ceremony, and think we're inauthentic. just one of the sad side effects of the near mainstreaming of this life. sorry for the ramble.

Unfortunately so true more often than people think. Another part which amazes me is how so many come out of one relationship, in which they had claimed to be in love and totally submissive (or dominant) to the other person, only to within hours/days/ a week or 2 be in another relationship they make the same claims over. Personally even in a vanilla relationship I needed a bit more time to feel love was even the slightest possibility of the day and I could trust that person, in this lifestlye it can be even more difficult to get to the point of feeling love and a commitment is going to work on anything but a superficial 'I've done it!' level. Perhaps it is that I am just not that fond of claiming love or commitment unless it feels like it really is from the depths of my soul, and for me lust does not instantly translate to the same which is what I think many are saying when they say they are in love once again and wearing (or given) yet another collar from/to yet another, hence why it disappears at some point and they move on quickly to the next one. Being alone and sorting out emotions after a relationship can be a very productive and time/emotional saving thing.

Catalina

 

[twysted73]

Do I have one to wear?

Decidedly not.

Am I getting one for another?
Yes. Just spoke to a leatherman. It's in the works.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I have a plain black leather collar with an O ring for when we are in the house without visitors. I have been known to forget to remove it and go answer the front door. It has a plain black leather leash that clips on when Master wants it worn. Both were bought from a pet store with the minimum of expense (no I did not cum in the store) by Master.

I also have a white-gold necklace with a heart shaped padlock engraved with L's initial that I wear outside the house. Both were bought for me by Master.

We were both new to everything when we got together and were D/s in a long distance relationship for nearly a year and he never collared me. It was something we both knew we wanted but were in no rush for. When we moved in together and made the transition to M/s, I got my collar and I gave him a contract of ownership, ceding my rights to him. There was no ceremony but it was very moving and I was walking on air for days. We went into M/s with the same commitment that we would go into marriage with. Marriage remains a goal for us when circumstances and finances permit.

 

[Bandit58]

I have a collar, but we didn't have a collaring ceremony, we had a wedding instead

 

[Etoile]

I came across this place while surfing, looks pretty cool, thought this to be the place to add it.

You can customize a generic collar here, sounds odd I know, but I can see so many uses for this.

Collar Factory

OMG, I just created a pink leather collar with baby pink faux fur lining and black hardware with a D-ring in front. And it's only $28 + shipping! I wish I needed a collar, hahaha.

 

[intothewoods]

Unfortunately so true more often than people think. Another part which amazes me is how so many come out of one relationship, in which they had claimed to be in love and totally submissive (or dominant) to the other person, only to within hours/days/ a week or 2 be in another relationship they make the same claims over. Personally even in a vanilla relationship I needed a bit more time to feel love was even the slightest possibility of the day and I could trust that person, in this lifestlye it can be even more difficult to get to the point of feeling love and a commitment is going to work on anything but a superficial 'I've done it!' level. Perhaps it is that I am just not that fond of claiming love or commitment unless it feels like it really is from the depths of my soul, and for me lust does not instantly translate to the same which is what I think many are saying when they say they are in love once again and wearing (or given) yet another collar from/to yet another, hence why it disappears at some point and they move on quickly to the next one. Being alone and sorting out emotions after a relationship can be a very productive and time/emotional saving thing.
Catalina

Agreed. When it comes down to it for me, many choices made by people in the lifestyle are choices I would not make. I would love to meet others with whom I could relate on a deeper level on some of these issues, but at the end of the day, I am coming to accept that it ain't going to happen, and the public or group aspects of the kinky lifestyle are not going to be a big part of my life.

To bring it back to the topic at hand, I love the look and the symbolism of a collar, but the idea of wearing one around other people makes me feel funny. While I still don't look at s&m activities as particularly intimate (I could do that kind of play at a party with no problem), I do feel protective and private about D/s. I would feel comfortable wearing one as part of our private "play," but Mister Man has no interest in them. So no collar for me.

 

[Netzach]

Collars tend to be pretty utilitarian scene objects or "going out" accessories here.

H's is meaningful, red lined leather, but not a daily accoutrement. No one really has the kind of life professionally that can support the sudden appearance of jewelry, except me. Putting a collar on any of them definitely grounds them and changes the "space" in a way, so I love them. I'm attentive to symbols - the collar I use with my lover I switch with is the first I bought and specifically bought because it's very large and very adjustable and can be used on either one of us - we've gone through periods of actively switching and long stretches of him simply bottoming to me, so that's helpful. M's collars are shiny and glittery and girly and look good with rubber clothing in silver and black, his fetishwear of usual choice. H has a simple leather working collar, and a cute little red and black necklace, slightly trashy, but pretty, that I bought "Cindy" his dressed alter ego.

 

[Laura0605]

Years ago, with my first experience with a Dominant male, I felt like it was perfect and I adored him....I would have done anything for him. The more serious we became the more we talked about collaring and our feelings on it. Of course, I hoped he would collar me as I knew nothing would make me feel better than to be owned by him. We even went shopping and picked out this gorgeous diamond necklace that he wanted to use as a 'collar' during vanilla times. He tells me that he wants to take me away for the weekend and that we are going to have a very special time, which of course makes me think "wow...maybe this is it!" We arrive separately at the hotel (I had been out of town on business). He ushers me into this suite that has an attached bedroom, telling me how much he missed me, how happy he is to see me, blah, blah, blah. Then, he opens the door to the attached bedroom and introduces me to Cammie....this girl that he had recently met online. I knew that he was chatting with her but I had no idea they had met nor did I realize HE WAS BRINGING HER WITH US! She was gorgeous, much younger than I and exhibited a bit of hostililty right from the start to me. He pushes us both into the bedroom, tells me to 'seduce her' and leaves the hotel stating he will return in 3 hours. I was shocked....and believe me, no amount of seducing would have melt the ice around this girl toward me (not that I really tried). It was uncomfortable and awkward. When he returns and nothing physical has happened (in fact few words were shared), he tells me I have failed my test. He ties me to a chair, sets up a video camera and moves Cammie to the bed where he proceeds to make love to her (in a way i had never seen him be with me), tells her he loves her and then PRESENTS HER WITH THE COLLAR WE HAD PICKED OUT! I was beside myself and promptly left the hotel as soon as I could. He begged and begged me to come back later but....it was something I could never get past. Fast forward two years later and I met the Couple that I am now collared to. It's been 4 years since I met them, and I have been collared for a little over 3. It is as perfect as I could have ever imagined. The 'ceremony' was unexpected, private and very sweet. I have a leather collar that I wear in private but also three beautiful necklaces that I can wear in public. (I have been given a new necklace at each anniversary. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing because I might have never found what I have now.

 

[TenJed69]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o180/onesilentfeather/owned.jpg

That is exactly what I'm looking for! Where did you get it from? Does it lock?

 

[Etoile]

Years ago, with my first experience with a Dominant male, I felt like it was perfect and I adored him....I would have done anything for him. The more serious we became the more we talked about collaring and our feelings on it. Of course, I hoped he would collar me as I knew nothing would make me feel better than to be owned by him. We even went shopping and picked out this gorgeous diamond necklace that he wanted to use as a 'collar' during vanilla times. He tells me that he wants to take me away for the weekend and that we are going to have a very special time, which of course makes me think "wow...maybe this is it!" We arrive separately at the hotel (I had been out of town on business). He ushers me into this suite that has an attached bedroom, telling me how much he missed me, how happy he is to see me, blah, blah, blah. Then, he opens the door to the attached bedroom and introduces me to Cammie....this girl that he had recently met online. I knew that he was chatting with her but I had no idea they had met nor did I realize HE WAS BRINGING HER WITH US! She was gorgeous, much younger than I and exhibited a bit of hostililty right from the start to me. He pushes us both into the bedroom, tells me to 'seduce her' and leaves the hotel stating he will return in 3 hours. I was shocked....and believe me, no amount of seducing would have melt the ice around this girl toward me (not that I really tried). It was uncomfortable and awkward. When he returns and nothing physical has happened (in fact few words were shared), he tells me I have failed my test. He ties me to a chair, sets up a video camera and moves Cammie to the bed where he proceeds to make love to her (in a way i had never seen him be with me), tells her he loves her and then PRESENTS HER WITH THE COLLAR WE HAD PICKED OUT! I was beside myself and promptly left the hotel as soon as I could. He begged and begged me to come back later but....it was something I could never get past. Fast forward two years later and I met the Couple that I am now collared to. It's been 4 years since I met them, and I have been collared for a little over 3. It is as perfect as I could have ever imagined. The 'ceremony' was unexpected, private and very sweet. I have a leather collar that I wear in private but also three beautiful necklaces that I can wear in public. (I have been given a new necklace at each anniversary. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing because I might have never found what I have now.

Holy shit! That is the worst thing I've ever heard. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I would characterize it as major psychological rape...that is unspeakably awful and cruel. I'm glad you are happy with the place you're in now, but what a horrible thing to go through. I would have been screaming absolute bloody murder if that was me.

 

[myinnerslut]

the collar homburg made for me

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=27045346&postcount=1465

 

[Laura0605]

Well, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right? Although, I did think thoughts of killing him!

 

[intothewoods]

I wore a collar to the last play party I went to, as a condition of attending the party alone. Mister Man picked it out at Pet Smart. It's pink with a few o-rings and these little doggie bone charms.

The tag says Mister Man's Pet. He chose "pet" because the idea of the collar for the party was somewhat playful, and I'm not his property. I really wanted it to say, "if found, please return to Mister Man," but he didn't like that one. I was just happy to have graduated from the old dog collar I borrowed last time that said "fully vaccinated"!

The rule for the party was no contact with genitals, mine or anyone else's. I don't really need a collar to keep to that, but it was kind of a nice added dynamic to being there.

 

[Homburg]

I did something of a collaring ceremony for each of my gals. Same thing both times. It was a small, quiet, understated thing that got the point of surrender across to both parties involved. I chose to do a pseudo-ceremony because human beings are creatures of ritual (habit) and symbol, generally, and each of the girls responds to such things well.

It was not a scripted thing, nor was it complex. Simple, a discussion, a particular act, then surrender and acceptance.

 

[kellygurl]

I have a "dog" collar that my gf and I play with, I'm sure she got it at the pet store ...

but it does change my mood when its on