Collars and Collaring

[myinnerslut]

I did something of a collaring ceremony for each of my gals. Same thing both times. It was a small, quiet, understated thing that got the point of surrender across to both parties involved. I chose to do a pseudo-ceremony because human beings are creatures of ritual (habit) and symbol, generally, and each of the girls responds to such things well.

It was not a scripted thing, nor was it complex. Simple, a discussion, a particular act, then surrender and acceptance.

and despite the fact that it was small and simple, it was still terrifying.

but i suppose life changing steps like that often are.

 

[sirsemega]

We tried collars but ultimately I purchased celtic necklaces instead. I tried a turian steel one, but couldn't get the right fit. Plus with her work she really has to be pretty conservative. The necklaces are our private collar while everyone comments about how nice the necklaces are, she smiles inwardly knowing the true meaning of the jewelery.

 

[TeachMeSir]

Decidedly not.

Am I getting one for another?
Yes. Just spoke to a leatherman. It's in the works.

And now I wear his collar.

While I had been expecting it to a certain degree, I was still suprised that it was actually offered.

There was no over the top cermony. I am quite a shy and private person and it was something that I appreciate being between just the two of us.

I was simply asked to turn my back & close my eyes. The key was placed in my hand, my fingers wrapped around it. And with a kiss on my neck and the leather wrapped and secured in place I felt grounded in a way I hadn't before. I was told that if I chose not to accept it then I had the key to remove it. Of course I handed his key back to him.

While I wasn't able to wear it constantly, the leather being new and my neck unused to the feel, I always felt it. If I requested that it be removed for comfort then he was the one to do so. Always with a comment, endearment or question asking that I wear it again.

It is a trigger for me. I feel his hands placing it around my neck, his lips brushing against me. Without it I am still his. It is a symbol, not the cause of my surrender, but it certainly refocuses my attention.

The sadest point was when going through airport security and I had to remove it. It was the first time I had removed it myself and it filled me with a longing to be close by him.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2106/2472671894_3ddb13a1fc_m.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3081/2472671854_615a0c27f5_m.jpg

 

[WickedEve]

I have a collar. It's a mean, spiked collar that gets tangled in my hair and pulls. I hate my collar. Our one year anniversary is coming up soon and I hope to get one of these collars. Maybe both.

http://www.bdsmgear.com/merpics/colore.gif

http://www.bdsmgear.com/merpics/cheartchokerblack.jpg

 

[twysted73]

And now I wear his collar.

While I had been expecting it to a certain degree, I was still suprised that it was actually offered.

There was no over the top cermony. I am quite a shy and private person and it was something that I appreciate being between just the two of us.

I was simply asked to turn my back & close my eyes. The key was placed in my hand, my fingers wrapped around it. And with a kiss on my neck and the leather wrapped and secured in place I felt grounded in a way I hadn't before. I was told that if I chose not to accept it then I had the key to remove it. Of course I handed his key back to him.

While I wasn't able to wear it constantly, the leather being new and my neck unused to the feel, I always felt it. If I requested that it be removed for comfort then he was the one to do so. Always with a comment, endearment or question asking that I wear it again.

It is a trigger for me. I feel his hands placing it around my neck, his lips brushing against me. Without it I am still his. It is a symbol, not the cause of my surrender, but it certainly refocuses my attention.

The sadest point was when going through airport security and I had to remove it. It was the first time I had removed it myself and it filled me with a longing to be close by him.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2106/2472671894_3ddb13a1fc_m.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3081/2472671854_615a0c27f5_m.jpg

Warmed my heart and pleased me to read it from your perspective.


Je n'avais jamais cru que je trouve un soumis dans un ami et un amant combiné. Je suis fou de joie j'ai trouvé tous les trois.

 

[Homburg]

and despite the fact that it was small and simple, it was still terrifying.

but i suppose life changing steps like that often are.

That was part of the intent. If you blanch at the first step, you've no need to take the journey.

Luckily for me, you took that step.

 

[madetotakeit]

And now I wear his collar.

Congratulations. I'm very happy for you both.

 

[twysted73]

Congratulations. I'm very happy for you both.

Thank you very much.

 

[faeriefire]

During the days I wear a choker. My watch went wandering off which used to be my grounding point. Without one or the other I feel adrift. In the evenings I take the choker off. Sometimes I wear a leather collar. The black weight about my throat is comforting. It is a reminder and I sleep with my finger through the silver ring in front. For me it is not a matter of belonging to someone else. I am myself and the choker is a symbol of who I am and what I am. It is an acknowledgement. A testament. It feels right about my neck. When I find a pair that suits me I'll switch to leather or rope bracers. But for now the collar I own and that I wear is a marker of my nature and a personal move towards staying centered. Neither the choker or the collar sport a lock. If they ever do the key will be held by another.

 

[Etoile]

During the days I wear a choker. My watch went wandering off which used to be my grounding point. Without one or the other I feel adrift. In the evenings I take the choker off. Sometimes I wear a leather collar. The black weight about my throat is comforting. It is a reminder and I sleep with my finger through the silver ring in front. For me it is not a matter of belonging to someone else. I am myself and the choker is a symbol of who I am and what I am. It is an acknowledgement. A testament. It feels right about my neck. When I find a pair that suits me I'll switch to leather or rope bracers. But for now the collar I own and that I wear is a marker of my nature and a personal move towards staying centered. Neither the choker or the collar sport a lock. If they ever do the key will be held by another.

Beautiful post.

 

[myinnerslut]

During the days I wear a choker. My watch went wandering off which used to be my grounding point. Without one or the other I feel adrift. In the evenings I take the choker off. Sometimes I wear a leather collar. The black weight about my throat is comforting. It is a reminder and I sleep with my finger through the silver ring in front. For me it is not a matter of belonging to someone else. I am myself and the choker is a symbol of who I am and what I am. It is an acknowledgement. A testament. It feels right about my neck. When I find a pair that suits me I'll switch to leather or rope bracers. But for now the collar I own and that I wear is a marker of my nature and a personal move towards staying centered. Neither the choker or the collar sport a lock. If they ever do the key will be held by another.

you touched on the symbolism aspect of collars well. i used to wear an anklet for that purpose before ever being in a D/s or M/s relationship.

you also touched another another symbol that holds a lot of importance to me in a BDSM way. in some ways almost as much as the collar around my neck. locks and keys. i have always liked using keys to represent the cliche "key to my heart" idea. i also really like using locks and keys in my symbolic representation of myself as a slave. when i submitted to Homburg i gave him an antique key that he now carries on his key ring. the piercing i got for him will eventually sport either his initial or a heart with a keyhole in it, the idea being he is the only one with the key.

 

[Silversonic]

I never ask permission. I know the sub is mine. Sometimes I get a very nice one. Sometimes plain, and they earn a nicer one. If the sub is attached I give her permission to take it on and off so partner does not know.

 

[Etoile]

I never ask permission. I know the sub is mine. Sometimes I get a very nice one. Sometimes plain, and they earn a nicer one. If the sub is attached I give her permission to take it on and off so partner does not know.

You know the sub is yours even if she is married or partnered? Buh?

 

[Her_Corruptor]

During the days I wear a choker. My watch went wandering off which used to be my grounding point. Without one or the other I feel adrift. In the evenings I take the choker off. Sometimes I wear a leather collar. The black weight about my throat is comforting. It is a reminder and I sleep with my finger through the silver ring in front. For me it is not a matter of belonging to someone else. I am myself and the choker is a symbol of who I am and what I am. It is an acknowledgement. A testament. It feels right about my neck. When I find a pair that suits me I'll switch to leather or rope bracers. But for now the collar I own and that I wear is a marker of my nature and a personal move towards staying centered. Neither the choker or the collar sport a lock. If they ever do the key will be held by another.

This is a perfect testimony, fräulein. I know that Nicole has a place holder in which she wears as a symbol of her dedication to her faith and loyalty to herself. It will soon be replaced but until then, I am happy with the reason behind it and pleased she has not compromised this action by allowing another to remove it in all the years I've known her.

 

[Homburg]

You know the sub is yours even if she is married or partnered? Buh?

I thought the same thing.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I never ask permission. I know the sub is mine. Sometimes I get a very nice one. Sometimes plain, and they earn a nicer one. If the sub is attached I give her permission to take it on and off so partner does not know.

Oh me thinks one has either been reading too much porn fiction, or meeting a smarter animal who can pull more wool over his eyes than he is trying to do himself.

Catalina

 

[TeachMeSir]

......

 

[twysted73]

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3043/2478414612_5359b22eaa.jpg?v=0

....Very pleasing image

 

[TenJed69]

His collar is proof of his ownership of me. A symbol of my submission to him.

But, as with Faerie, I also have symbols that indicate my commitment to myself and my submissive nature.

I have mentioned in another thread somewhere that I tether myself to the bed at night. It started the strangest way. I firmly belive that if you are looking for something significant it is sometimes a matter of not looking, of just realizing you have found something you were missing when you find the right thing. (Does this make sense?)

Anyway, I'm a bit scatter brained this morning. I had purchased some cuffs when I first discovered my sumbissive nature. Unfortunately they were faluty and so when I was in London I purchased some new ones. Just cheap ones, kind of an "introduction pair". When I got home the company I had bought the original ones from had sent me replacements (which turned out to be faulty also). So, now I had 2 sets. I started thinking that the new set I bought were big enough to go around my ankle, so I tried that out. It seemed to have a very grounding, centering & soothing effect on me. I got into bed one night & just didn't take it off. Then I figured that seeing as I love rope I could tie myself to the bed. Not in a complete restraint of movement way, just in an achoring sense. I had seen a very moving black & white picture like this (wish I could find it again). I loved the feel of this. Like I have said, the cuffs are not quality, but nor are the uncomfortable and the emotions from tethering when getting into bed after a long day were like a relaxation / recognition of my submission trigger. Then I went to Lowes and bought myself some nice rope, as well as some quick realease clasps. (I'd hate to have to be trying to untie myself if the house was on fire! LOL) And so now, most night I tether myself to the bed and I just can't wait for it.

The pressure around my ankle had such a positive effect on my mood that I was looking for something else I could wear during the day that would center me. You may not know it, but I'm a bit of a princess. I love pretty things, and I love "accessories". I also wanted something that was fairly discrete. So, now I have a few options. I can either wear my cuff, untethered during the day around the house or under my jeans. I also have a bracelt that is very "pretty that I removed the clasp from & use a thin black ribbon threaded like a corset to make it big enough for my ankle. And when I am in a more "daity" mood I have a sleection of ribbons, all fairly thin that I can tie around my ankle with a pretty little bow sitting on the outside.

If I am anxious, or wanting to feel that centerdness one of the fist things I do is make sure I have something around my ankle, or perhaps "upgared" to something heavier.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3043/2478414612_5359b22eaa.jpg?v=0

I said in your last post that this is hot, and it is! Just something about it that's so cute and touching and.....subly, is that a word?

 

[YourCaptor]

If I am anxious, or wanting to feel that centerdness one of the fist things I do is make sure I have something around my ankle, or perhaps "upgared" to something heavier.

First off, what is really cute, and your legs are so gorgeous, especially with that tether.

On to business, I would recommend ankle weights for something truly grounding feeling.

 

[YourCaptor]

While looking at stuff for the new pet I thought, why not a pinch collar?

http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii49/YourCaptor/lit/pinch-collar.jpg

 

[TeachMeSir]

.....

 

[Etoile]

Ankle weights don't work the same for me (yes, I have tried!).... I sometimes dive with ankle weights depending on what wetsuit, booties or fins I have that dive. When I tried the weights on all I felt was adrift & a driving need to get wet ... and no, not in that way ... I mean I wanted to get in the water! Just made me feel like I was missing something. Maybe when I want to go diving I'll put on my mask & fins & hop in the bath ...... how not sexy is that image!

Oh I don't know...there are some people who are really into face masks, and some people who are really into wetsuits...you could totally get some people going!

I wish I could do scuba. Maybe someday I will take that class at school...it's really late at night though, 7-10pm on Wednesdays. My only scuba experience is what made me a hard of hearing person, so it's scary, but I want to try it again..it was such a different world under the sea...

 

[YourCaptor]

Ankle weights don't work the same for me (yes, I have tried!).... I sometimes dive with ankle weights depending on what wetsuit, booties or fins I have that dive. When I tried the weights on all I felt was adrift & a driving need to get wet ... and no, not in that way ... I mean I wanted to get in the water! Just made me feel like I was missing something. Maybe when I want to go diving I'll put on my mask & fins & hop in the bath ...... how not sexy is that image!

So thats where you got those legs from. I have never gone diving, I'm more sky oriented then below sea level.

 

[sexycaz22]

Not sure where to post this question, and I didn't want to make a new thread for the small question I had, but since this thread have some relevance to my question, I thought I would post the question in here, and hopes for some point of views!

OK, I have a new sub, who I adore very much. We slip into D/s play very easily, and we also slip out of D/s play easily, to talk about other things. I love the feeling of being with my sub, and just talking to him in generally as well as being with him as a Domme.

Recently, we talked about collars and he wanted me to choose a collar for him. I refused, saying that I was not ready to take that step - after all we only met a few weeks ago! But I told him, that he could choose a collar for play - only and if things got really serious between down the road, then I will consider collaring him properly. For me, collars are very special and significant, and it shows a compete commitment to me and for me to commit to him in a D/s relationship.

However, I am starting to feel that he is mine but I am not too sure if I should give him something to remind this, or should I say that I own him or what? This is where things get confusing for me as a Domme!

(ps. sorry if I have hijacked this thread!)