collarme.com

[graceanne]

I'm sorry, but I must disagree. I see what Betticus is talking about, and quite clearly. I've also experienced the no return message thing. At last count, it was well over 40 messages with no replys.

No, I'm not one of those weirdos, and no, I'm not a sphyco. I read profiles and answer the ones that I think I have a match with. Granted, after 30 no replies, I have gotten much less excited about the intital message that I send. After all, why spend too much time on something that probably won't even get read?

Sure, there are sicko men out there, and I'm sure women get tons of messages from them that they end up deleting, because they don't fit what they are looking for. Sure, I know I'm fighting to be heard above these sickos and I know it's quickly becoming a losing battle. Trust me, I've been at this before. I'm not new to this. But, I know it's only getting worse, if I can't get any replys from the messages I've sent.

No, I"m not going to let anyone critic my messages. I'm an adult male and I know how to talk to someone of the opposite sex. I've done it enough times. But, I've tried different tactics to get someone's attention, and nothing seems to work.

Yes, I did get a couple to reply, but that was on alt.com. I payed a pretty penny there and all I got was a few women who lied on their profile. One of them is also on collarme and I've kind of struck up a conversation with her. I wanted to understand what triggered her to reply.

She said she agreed with me that she was too quick to judge me, but she didn't offer to give me another chance. She also said she gave the most persistant men the most credibility. What she meant by that I guess, is someone who sent enough messages that caught her eye, she would eventually respond to them. I call that the princess attitude, folks. And, she's got it bad.

Another I met on alt gave me her Yahoo ID. Every so often she sends me a very short, rather cryptic message. they usually don't mean much on their own, and I wonder why she is even sending them. One time she wrote "long time no hear." I didn't understand this because we had been chatting on Yahoo, then she said she had a phone call. She then typed "BRB."

OK, as the time went by, I knew she wasn't coming back. So, why did she send me a message that said "long time no hear"? Just a sicko broad? Another message she sent said she had moved. I sent one back asking if she was going to tell me where she moved to. It's been about a month. I'm still waiting for her to reply. LOL, no, I"m not really waiting.

I'm not dumb. I am wondering though, if some of these women are just so domb or maybe so dense that they truly have no idea what they want and reject or ignore every one who sends them messages.

Back to the first woman...she seems to be communicating with me quite freely, now. Maybe she thinks we are friends. I did send a little short story to her. She quickly wrote back asking where I lived. LOL, I thought sure I had her attention, then.

But, we only chated on Yahoo for about two minutes before she disconnected. I had no time to ask her any questions and she only asked me a few. Nothing of any substance was said by either of us. Nothing any normal person could use to decide yes or no to anything, vanilla, kinky, or anything else.

She dropped me just like the other woman did, and gave me no reason why she did. Does that sound like something a sane and caring woman should do to someone she DIDN'T consider to be a sicko? Or did she consider me to be a sicko, then, and that's why she treated me so rudely? And, if I was such a sicko, why is sne communicating so freely with me, now? She has even given me her real name. Ah, but still no offers to reconsider my status. LOL.

And, if she did consider me to be a sicko, how did she know? How can someone tell these things in such a short and uneventful first meeting? If women are judging other men the same way I seem to be judged, this isn't working for others besides me.

Now, if I had a good picture to send, that might catch their eye. Then, I'd have to sometime down the road mention that I'm not that guy. But, maybe going for the physical lure first is one possible way to get a reply. But when the profile mentions certain "things" and I fit into those "things", I expect at least a quick message saying "thanks, but no thanks."

And, my profile is not hateful. I don't have women sending me messages asking me to piss on them or make them eat shit or something. In fact, I don't get anyone sending me initial messages, either.

Hey, folks. I know I'm not the problem. I know I've never had a problem communicating with sane, caring people who are looking for the same thing as I am. In fact, that usually makes it easier, if the person is looking for you, just as you are looking for them. Well, that's not working in this case.

So, I don't go for the need to make your profile sound so hateful. Sure, you might be getting lots of messages from sickos, but does the hateful profile even put a dent in them? I doubt it. I tend to agree with Betticus that some form of grading system would be helpful, but I also agree it would soon degrade into only a vendetta thing.

Just like some voters on Literotica, in the past. They had methods of voting a "1" for some stories to lower their status and vote a five for their story and get others to do the same. I haven't noticed it lately, but it was done quite often, about a year ago.

People will be people. They will do what they will, and at the expense of others, if need be. The princess girls waiting for their special prince can just go on and wait. By the time they figure out he ain't coming, how many also rans will have come and gone? No 100% match? How many 75% matches have been rudely ignored, because that 100% could be the very next message?

I know some women get gobs of sicko mail. Personally, I see that as their problem, and not mine. In the last paragraph I said people will be people. Well, up to now, all I've seen reply to me are what I see as wannabes. What are they wanting to be? People, maybe?


Damn typos!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Their loss. And they are wannabes if they over look you.

 

[SweetDommes]

My profile there is one of the more blank ones. I'm just not seeking anything. I'm just hanging out, reading and enjoying the company. As a Domme I suppose I don't receive abusive or rude private messages, unlike what I fear my more submissive sisters endure at times. While I do get a fair amount of subs or switches who PM to introduce themselves, most have not been obnoxious or overly persistent.

You've been lucky then ... we have gotten a few of the abusive/rude messages - amazingly enough from "Doms" as well as "subs" (using the terms loosely - I'm still wondering why Doms are looking at our profile ... )

Most of them, though, are stupid form letters, one liners (or worse, one "word"ers), or damn near unreadable from the combination of netspeak, poor grammar and attrocious spelling. I almost always send a reply back to them, ranging from polite to cold (but never nasty) and have been flamed more than once after sending a reply (what happened to all those guys bitching that they never get replies and they would be happy with a "thanks but no thanks" ? )

 

[DVS]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Their loss. And they are wannabes if they over look you.

LOL, I've said it before and will say it again, too. Thanks for your continued support.

 

[graceanne]

LOL, I've said it before and will say it again, too. Thanks for your continued support.

Well, frankly, I don't get it. If I was single and looking and all that, I'd sooooo be interested. I think people are just stupid.

 

[DVS]

... (what happened to all those guys bitching that they never get replies and they would be happy with a "thanks but no thanks" ? )

Here I am, but I'm not looking for a Domme. Maybe those guys are not Doms but wannabe subs, and you are giving them a cheap thrill by politely scolding them with your reply.

 

[SweetDommes]

But I do reply which apparently is far more than many do ... and you are far from the only one who bitches about sending out message after message and getting no replies.

 

[DVS]

Well, frankly, I don't get it. If I was single and looking and all that, I'd sooooo be interested. I think people are just stupid.

Well, that's kind of what I think, too. Not that I'm such a wonderful catch, but I do have my good points. I have all my teeth, most of my hair, I'm tall and not over weight, and I can carry my side of a reasonably intelligent conversation.

And as for the kinky parts, I could go on and on about my abilities, but it would only make you blush.

 

[SweetDommes]

And as for the kinky parts, I could go on and on about my abilities, but it would only make you blush.

Us??? Here at Lit???????? BLUSH!?!?!?!?! *falls out of chair laughing*

 

[graceanne]

Well, that's kind of what I think, too. Not that I'm such a wonderful catch, but I do have my good points. I have all my teeth, most of my hair, I'm tall and not over weight, and I can carry my side of a reasonably intelligent conversation.

And as for the kinky parts, I could go on and on about my abilities, but it would only make you blush.

But we like to blush!

.

.

.

What's a blush?

 

[voyergirl]

Some guy got mad at me because I refused to refer to him as Sir or send him pictures of myself in stockings.

i believe this guy sent me emails there too.... in fact i have gotten a few idiots that fit this stereotype.

sad

 

[graceanne]

i believe this guy sent me emails there too.... in fact i have gotten a few idiots that fit this stereotype.

sad

I think we all have.

 

[DVS]

Us??? Here at Lit???????? BLUSH!?!?!?!?! *falls out of chair laughing*

I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Doms and Dommes are not suppose to have bruises. But, subs consider them trophys.

 

[DVS]

I think we all have.

Sorry, not me.

 

[SweetDommes]

I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Doms and Dommes are not suppose to have bruises. But, subs consider them trophys.

Depends on if said Dom/me is also a masochist. I currently have matching bruises - one on the top of each boob (I did not get them willingly, but didn't mind getting them either).

 

[Lilith]

I'm guilty of not replying. If I get a form letter, or someone who appears to be so needy that I don't want him/her to in anyway misconstrue my politeness for attention, or just attitude, I usually do not reply at all. No sense continuing something I never intended to begin. But someone who speaks to me, makes a comment that shows they may be someone I'd care to get to know, they will usually get a reply. With the ratio of female Dommes to male subs there, it would be impossible to reply to all.

 

[MastrJ]

I can understand why some of the women on Collarme have become so defensive. I've heard from female subs I know in the area about the sorts of messages they get. I try very hard to make sure the emails I send out are not 'one-liners'. Although as time has gone on, I've begun using a sort of form letter because I was getting tired of saying mostly the same thing and never getting a response back. Now, what I send out isn't a complete form letter. I take the basic letter and tailor it to each woman. I try and make sure that I include something specific from their profile to show that I've actually read it, and I make sure that it is polite. The few women that have actually responded with a 'thanks but no' have received back a simple "Thank you" from me, and that's it. I find it all very frustrating, but I can understand why it has developed.

My best experience on the site was actually in receiving a 'thank but no' email back from a girl. She wrote back thanking me for sending her one of the most polite messages she had received, but we were too far apart geographically for her to consider me. Even though I didn't get the response I would have liked to, at least getting something like this let me know that what I'm doing isn't contributing to making the women get all defensive.

 

[SweetDommes]

With the ratio of female Dommes to male subs there, it would be impossible to reply to all.

Um, no offense here, but I do it, so it's obviously not impossible. I do not reply a second time, but they all get a first reply. If they send a second message after they've been told we aren't interested, then that is their problem for wasting their own time and I feel no obligation to continue being polite, but a first message always gets replied to.

 

[Lilith]

Um, no offense here, but I do it, so it's obviously not impossible. I do not reply a second time, but they all get a first reply. If they send a second message after they've been told we aren't interested, then that is their problem for wasting their own time and I feel no obligation to continue being polite, but a first message always gets replied to.

No offense taken.... you make a good point. I choose who I reply to and who I don't.

 

[timberwolf05]

Dvs!

i'm with you on this. i have had my own let downs, and after reading your post here, i realize my own hate-profile needs to be redone. i am guilty of letting-them-get-to-me. and i feel very foolish right now. i must thank you.

and i hope your future gets brighter.

i was just emailed back, just the last 24 hrs, by what seems to be a wonderful Lady, with everything i have dreamed about, and never could find in a Domme reply letter. i am feeling much better now, about the whole process of this all. She is becoming a dream-come-true for me.
i will not go into the little things here, but i am finding some things in Her yahoo messenger offline return replys that have me on the edge of my seat. and i have ''an'' email i just got from Her last night, that is blowing my mind.

i wish You good luck. i may have, possibly found, a fine Domme i can actually start to like and bond-with.


thank you.

the wolf may become a mere puppy in Her hands.
let's hope....mmmmm

 

[DVS]

i'm with you on this. i have had my own let downs, and after reading your post here, i realize my own hate-profile needs to be redone. i am guilty of letting-them-get-to-me. and i feel very foolish right now. i must thank you.

Well, you know the daily blogs that some people tend to add to their profiles, where they rant and complain about everything that makes them unhappy? I'm not the saint of self control. I've thought about adding a few things there, myself. I think about it, but that's it. I'm still on the fence about going further. I guess I"m waiting for something worth complaining about.

and i hope your future gets brighter. ...

Thanks.

 

[Summer_Jasmine]

This whole thread is making me want to check out collarme... Alt was disappointing, AFF sucked.

I guess now that I am single I have a little more flexibility in what type of a Dom I can look for...

 

[DVS]

This whole thread is making me want to check out collarme... Alt was disappointing, AFF sucked.

I guess now that I am single I have a little more flexibility in what type of a Dom I can look for...

Alt just sucked up my cash. At least collarme is free, so when I get no reply I don't have to worry about the money I've lost. LOL.

 

[TaintedB]

I have a collarme and an alt.com profile. I got them cause i have friends who have accounts there, and they wanted my opinion on their profiles. I keep it so that next time i have a friend get an account I won't have to get a new profile. My profile specifically states that's why I have a profile and that I'm not looking. I still get about 5 comments, winks, etc. a week. And a lot of them are things like "When you want to find your real master, pm me." and "PM me, slut.". I just ignore those assholes. If they're that stupid, they aren't worth my time or attention.

I guess it might be incriminating to answer this, but I'm curious so I'll try asking. Has anybody here, just for a lark of course, tried sending out 500 "PM me slut!" messages on alt.com or collarmeat or one of the other services. I wonder if anyone would respond positively. I have a dorky male profile on collarme--the one I made to keep people from emailing me, and so far I am batting .10000 --I guess I could try this experiment but then I would get a lot of emails, nasty ones too I imagine, and it would take awhile before they stopped. :/ Nah, I'll let someone more curious than I run this experiment.

 

[TaintedB]

Whew, lots to respond to! You have had very bad luck I think.

Do you ever do specific searches, like for women with the word "anal" in their profiles? Any luck with that?

I am not sure what you disagree about. I was saying a voting system turn into a really evil hating anti-popularity contest thing. I've seen this happen on a number forums that have the "popularity" or "karma" feature enabled for individuals. People decide they hate you for the pettiest reasons, and there's not need to be an out and out psycho to quickly get a really bad Karma, all you have to do is answer a rude person intelligently. :/

While I do see a lot of hate and bitching on profiles, male and female, I also see, mostly on the femsub profiles, a different sort of thing: rules. No this, no that, no the other thing. That's the sort of thing I think is defensive, and normally you put up a "no this" thing when people keep writing you asking for "this" and you are just not into it. An example: many times the young women will write in big bold letters: my profile says I want someone age-compatible with me. That means nobody over 40! That's because even though they state the age of the man they want to meet, all these dirty old men who crave young flesh are writing them. Nothing wrong with being a dirty old man craving young flesh. Everything wrong with being a boor and writing those who clearly want to date guys their own age. A young woman will get hundreds of emails from these guys, telling her all about how their age and experience makes them better for her than the age group she chooses to date. It's pretty disrespectful of her stated limits and preferences, I think.

I do agree that some sub women go overboard in laying down the rules. (And they make their type too large too. : / ) It kind of hurts them because it counteracts the submissive appeal. I also think though that these women, if sub, although very defensive, are also some of the easiest to get to know. They're just insecure and freaked by all the people who want weird things from them. A charming, friendly email will often disarm the rulemakers.

I've seen some male doms with a ton 'o rules too. I've often wondered what would happen if I pretended to be someone who broke all their rules (actually, I wouldn't have to pretend that much, I don't fit into the normal bdsm mold, lol) but then offered them hot steamy sex in imaginative terms? Would they still hold fast to their rules that say I am unclean, lol?

Ok, back to reading your long message, typos and all.

I'm sorry, but I must disagree. Damn typos!!

 

[h_i_s]

And they make their type too large too. : / )

Worse than too small/too large text .... it's annoying to stumble upon yet another profile with red background-royal blue text ... or any other color combination that makes it not only harsh on the eyes .... but impossible to read unless 'selecting all' to highlight the text just to make it viewable. i like pretty colors but it makes no sense how some will take the time to write a profile and then mangle the entire effort by making it impossible for others to read it.