collarme.com

[jasonlf]

Um ok Jason, we get that, but how is showing you a photo any different than saying "Oh, I'm a tall, slim, and blonde"? I could take a photo of my sister and send it to you and you wouldn't know the difference.

All you are achieving is scaring away people that don't want to talk to someone shallow enough to demand photos straight up, which is how you come across with that request. *shrugs*

I spent years talking to a guy online that I became very close to who right before we were to meet, confessed he was actually a she. So I very much understand the "fake people" fear, but my point is, you are not going to avoid it with your methods.

Hrm.

I shall take that into consideration. I can see how someone could think me as being shallow...

 

[TaintedB]

Hi Jason,

On your profile, I thought the text was fine. I read the critique and I didn't have the same response that Princess(?) did. Different submissives respond differently to that kind of phrasing. Yeah, I'd correct the spelling error though. Lots of people are picky about that.

I have two suggestions: sex up the text a little--make it a little more erotic or maybe add a paragraph about what turns you on the most.

Suggestion two: if you can, put up a photo of you in more casual clothing doing something you love. The suit is a little intimidating, at least to me. Maybe other subs would feel differently though.

 

[DVS]

This is all very interesting...the last day of posting, I mean. It should tell all of us something we all should already know. We are all different. We are all individuals. So, in saying that, there is no perfect way to create a profile.

I struggled over what I needed to say, when my first messages got no replays. If nothing else, I thought sure I would get mostly "thanks, but no thanks" messages, but I didn't get anything. Sure, that turned my head into a thought machine, but I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. What was it that seemed to be turning prospectives off?

The answer? Nothing I could find. Actually, this came after asking more than one friend to check out my profile. Each person had something to change, but rarely was it the same as someone else. No, I don't have a photo, and one suggested that was my problem. One suggested I needed to be less personal in the profile, and leave that until later. One suggested I do this and another suggested that. Some even said my profile looked fine, as it was.

There is no perfect profile. Sure, you can hash it out, and take advice and redo this and change that, but when you get finished with it, is that really still YOUR profile? Is it a representative listing of what you are, and what you are in search of, or is it representative of what you think you should put to get the most responses?

Because we are all different, changing something could actually turn some away who would otherwise be attracted to a profile. Some things that others are attracted to turn off some people. That's a fact of life that we can't change. And, re-inventing your profile could possibly change who it then attracts and even though you could maybe end up meeting more possible partners, ultimately none of them would be a good match to the real you. So, what have you accomplished?

I hope you can tell that I've thought this out a little. You take a movie star or maybe a TV star. They have people they pay to make them seem a certain way to the public. These people are actually paid to "create" the star image that the public will most likely find attractive.

They are paid to know what works in any situation and what will be seen as wholesome when they want wholesome and sexy when they want sexy and cute when they want cute. But, we rarely ever meet a TV or movie star in person so these creations are rarely found out to be fakes.

Attorneys do the same thing, when they represent you in court. You hire them to know what to say, what to do, and they even tell you how you should look in court to put the best image possible out there for the judge and jury to see. They are your spokesman to the press and your tutor for when you're on the witness stand. They actually go over most possible scenarios so you are prepared in any event that could come up.

And, again, we rarely see the real person in these court trials, except what the attorneys want us to see. The best attorneys will control everything so nothing can go wrong. Only if the other side is somehow smarter or maybe has that edge your side doesn't have will the real person come out. If you have a "dream team" defense, you can literally get away with murder.

Have you ever looked for a job? Ever created a resume? Today, especially, the job market is getting tougher and tougher. Employers are looking for the perfect match who will fit their needs for the least amount of effort, and ultimately, the smallest salary.

So, that resume has to shine. It has to put your accomplishments out there for the employers to see and it has to catch their eye and not let go. Above that, some even go to the point of hiring head hunters and employment agencies to push that resume to the edge, in hopes of getting you one of the choice interviews.

Some say almost lie on the resume, but not quite. Some say leave certain parts out and beef others up. Some say only include your good points and nothing more. But, when it comes down to it, you still have to sit in that interview and you still have to answer the employer's questions. All the shiny resume and velvet talking head hunters do is get you in the door. You can still ruin your chances by saying something stupid in the interview.

The movie and TV star? Their created image is secure unless they tarnish it up with some drunk driving arrest or maybe they beat their wife. The court case? It all depends on the attorney and how the judge and jury perceive his creation of you. Once that verdict is decided, nothing else matters.

But, when looking for that perfect job? Everything done in your behalf is just going to get you in the door, but if you don't spend the effort, you might not even get close. Still, it's only that interview where only you can seal or kill your chances.

Your profile on a sex meat market web site? You can glitz it all up, and put in pictures of you that are photoshopped to perfection. You can doll it all up and tweak it until you think it's just right. But, is it you? Does it represent you as the person you are?

A profile is only a starting point. Sure, it's intended to give a pretty good idea of what you like and what you are looking for. But, because it's only a set of words on a page, the individual that's you doesn't come through like it will if and when you meet that possible partner.

I look at my profile as just a way to break the ice. I tell what I want and some aspects of my personality that I think might be considered beneficial to someone looking for an honest, trusting, educated and skilled Dom. I can only speculate what will catch that person's eye, when reading it. I can only hope what I say will make them want to contact me and go that next step.

But, it all boils down to that next step. Sure, if the profile isn't glitzy enough, that next step might not ever happen, but if that profile is descriptive, and honest and it tells who you really are, if and when you do finally meet that possible match, your chances are a lot better it will go the way you want it to.

Nobody has beefed you up, and nobody has created something you can't follow through with. Nobody has tweaked or spackeled or photoshopped or stretched the truth.

DISCLAIMER: This is not intended to be used as a template for writing a collarme profile. If mine is any example of what should be included to catch the eye of a submissive woman and make her swoon with lusty delight and leave her light headed and wet between the legs just from reading about me, why haven't I received any replies to my messages?

Just like I said in the opening paragraph... there is no perfect way to create a profile.

 

[Kajira Callista]

well damn...i cant perv on you all if i dont know what name you are using over there.









hi DVS

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Hey KC

perv me, please??

MoonHuntress

 

[DVS]

well damn...i cant perv on you all if i dont know what name you are using over there.









hi DVS

That's me. Hi, KC. My fingers hurt from typing that long assed thing up there.

 

[Kajira Callista]

That's me. Hi, KC. My fingers hurt from typing that long assed thing up there.

aww they will be ok, you just need someplace wet n warm to stick em.

 

[DVS]

aww they will be ok, you just need someplace wet n warm to stick em.

Who cares about my fingers! I've got something else that needs to be someplace wet and warm.

And, I hope the affect I have on it will make it quiver and shake and when I start moving in and out it will start to gasp and whimper and ...well you get the idea.


Wanna play a game I cal "make it hard and stick it somewhere"?

 

[Kajira Callista]

Who cares about my fingers! I've got something else that needs to be someplace wet and warm.

And, I hope the affect I have on it will make it quiver and shake and when I start moving in and out it will start to gasp and whimper and ...well you get the idea.


Wanna play a game I cal "make it hard and stick it somewhere"?

will it be painful?

 

[DVS]

will it be painful?

Only when I want it to be.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Only when I want it to be.

of course.

 

[sincerely_helene]

well damn...i cant perv on you all if i dont know what name you are using over there.

SummerSkye

 

[TaintedB]

Welp, I caved and am all set up at collarme now (mostly just cause I wanted to see all the pics from the other threads you folks were posting.)

I have to admit, my profile falls under the "less than submissive" seeming category Betticus speaks of, though a lot of that is just my dry Canadian humour.

I don't know if it is normal to recieve a hundred messages within the first 24 hours, but now that I'm more established things seem to be slowing down a bit which is good because I was having a difficult time keeping up.

Jason: I read your profile, and thought it made you seem very approachable. Nice work, and nice choice in photos. Hard to resist a man in a suit.

Could anyone enlighten me as to why my itty bitty pic is showing up as huge? I made a point to resizing it. Also, is there a way to "hide" myself from people seeing when I'm there and whether or not I have read their messages? I feel like I'm being spied on and have been called out on a couple of occasions for not responding right away.

You can't help the little picture going big. Collarme does that to all pics. It will look a normal size, however, when someone first pulls up your profile from a search list. They have to click on the smaller version of trhe pic to see the big version and the "full profile" (the interests list).

I don't think you can hide there when you're reading your mail. You show up at the top of the lists (most recent people go to the top) each time you step out of your mailbox. People who bug you because you don't respond in x amount of minutes are so rude. If you want to be on just to look at other profiles, my suggestion remains: make a profile so unattractive that nobody will want to go near it and use that as your "browsing" profile. Unfortunately, you can't read your mail that way.

If you want fewer respondents on collarme, take down the photo. A lot of people search only on subs with photos, and you won't catch their attention if you don't have one up. You'll still get replies, just not as many.

You like guys in suits? They intimidate me!

 

[sincerely_helene]

You like guys in suits? They intimidate me!

Me too; that's why I like them.

Thanks for the tips. Things are finally slowing down. From what I have been told, it's pretty normal for all new females to be pounced on for the first few days.

 

[SweetDommes]

Hi Jason,
I have two suggestions: sex up the text a little--make it a little more erotic or maybe add a paragraph about what turns you on the most.

I don't know how submissives read something like that, but as a Switch - profiles that have a list of turn-ons and/or favorite scenes is a huge turn OFF.

Maybe it's just because I'm more Domme oriented in general, but ... yeah - I am not so sure about how that would come across. To me it just screams "HNG looking to get off".

 

[graceanne]

Wanna play a game I cal "make it hard and stick it somewhere"?

Well, that can't be too difficult.

 

[TaintedB]

I don't know how submissives read something like that, but as a Switch - profiles that have a list of turn-ons and/or favorite scenes is a huge turn OFF.

Maybe it's just because I'm more Domme oriented in general, but ... yeah - I am not so sure about how that would come across. To me it just screams "HNG looking to get off".

I agree, _lists_ are as unsexy as they get. I never look at the interest lists on collarme, they are very boring. Nor do I read profiles that are comprised of lists past the second or third item. I think though that you are writing from the dominant female attitude which attracts a huge number of boring HNGs. Sub females attract the dom eqivelent, of course, but from my perspective it's a little bit different.

I yawn with boredom when I read one of those practical, SSC profiles which are all about reassuring the submissive or stating their hard limits (sometimes the two seem the same) and have zero in them about their erotic desires. Ditto on the ones that are all about their outside interests, non-sexual things we'd do, etc., and nothing about what they like in bed. As a fairly normal (i think), hot-blooded submissive, I love (to the point of worshipping) dominant desire, especially when expressed intelligently and eloquently, and if someone were on a personals site and yet not expressing H (horniness) I would have to wonder how in the world they'd be able to handle a highly-sexed woman.

For a lot of us, all kinky people are not the same: not only are there are huge differences in what they will do or not do but there even larger differences in their attitudes toward kinky relationships. Two doms can say they like the same thing on their profiles but one will phrase it in such a way as to get one instantly excited where another will sound like he or she is recounting their last trip to the laundromat. There are ways to express a favorite scene or interest or sexual perspective that are not dumb-sounding or hackneyed or overdone. Those kinds of profiles stand out, at least for me. Because of the vast difference in sexual attitudes out there among bdsm people, it's important, at least for some submissives, to get an idea of what that attitude is, which means reading what they have to say (or not say) about sex, before we are willing to take a chance with them.

It's quite clear to me now from reading all those profiles that there are dozens of motivations for people being on collarme. Some are there to show off, lol. Some looking for friends and information only. A great many say they are looking for long-term committed relationships. For the latter group, it would make sense that the non-sexual aspects to a profile might be as important or in some cases more important as the sexual ones. But a significant minority are simply there to have sexual fun, with NSA (no strings attached--thanks to whoever defined that one for me in another thread!) For people with good sexual encounters and not much else in mind, the sexual interest expressed on a profile is pretty important.

As a submissive, I want something in a profile to make me feel really hot, like "oh boy, HERE's an intriguingly erotic person!" I guess what you put on your profile though, as DVS said in so many words, depends a lot of which sort of fish you want to catch. Some dominants clearly want to attract newer or more fearful subs, as their profiles are full of reassurance and promises of safety. There are probably a lot of submissives out there who could care less about sexual swoon factor and just want emotional swoon factor. Plenty of collarme doms appeal to that as well. Maybe what works best with most people is a well-balanced profile: something with sex, romance, and non-sexual stuff in it? Hmm, I don't know, I read a lot like that but those often have a feel of trying to cover too many bases about them, like they're playing a numbers game, not expressing who they are or what they want, and that is a turn off.

So we're back to DVS's point: write a profile or email that you think would appeal to the sort of person, dom or sub, that you find most attractive. If such people contact you or respond positively to your emails, you're on track. If they don't but a different sort contacts you regularly, you clearly need to reword your approach, lol.

 

[DVS]

Me too; that's why I like them.

Thanks for the tips. Things are finally slowing down. From what I have been told, it's pretty normal for all new females to be pounced on for the first few days.

I would enjoy pouncing on you...and I wouldn't stop after the first few days, either.

 

[DVS]

Well, that can't be too difficult.

OK, OK, I got it!

 

[jasonlf]

Hi Jason,

On your profile, I thought the text was fine. I read the critique and I didn't have the same response that Princess(?) did. Different submissives respond differently to that kind of phrasing. Yeah, I'd correct the spelling error though. Lots of people are picky about that.

I have two suggestions: sex up the text a little--make it a little more erotic or maybe add a paragraph about what turns you on the most.

Suggestion two: if you can, put up a photo of you in more casual clothing doing something you love. The suit is a little intimidating, at least to me. Maybe other subs would feel differently though.

1) I don't want to sex up the text. I don't want just a sexual encounter, I want someone to connect with , have a bond, etc, with sex stuff to come later.

2) Meh, I was thinking about using a pic of me playing my bass, but honestly, I LOVE how intimidating I look it that photo, it's like I'm looking down on everyone.

 

[jasonlf]

SummerSkye

I tried to perve on you, but I couldn't pull it up

 

[jasonlf]

Me too; that's why I like them.

Hehe

/me takes note

 

[sincerely_helene]

I would enjoy pouncing on you...and I wouldn't stop after the first few days, either.

Wow... you sure you can last that long?

 

[sincerely_helene]

I couldn't pull it up

Boy, did I read that wrong at first.
I just made an update yesterday, so it may still be pending. Don't worry; you're not missing much. I didn't include a lot of detail, and the photo is all fuzzy from collarme trying to blow it up.

 

[DVS]

Boy, did I read that wrong at first.
I just made an update yesterday, so it may still be pending...

That's one thing I don't like about collarme. When you update your profile (at least when I do) it takes so friggin' long to be up, again. I'm talkin' DAYS!

Oh, and speaking of days, yes I can last that long. I take my time and pace myself. And as long as my plumbing doesn't clog because of it, watch out, on about the 4th day! I'd say "old faithful" but you might get the wrong impression.