Cliques...

[DVS]

just hang on till you are part of the "in crowd" here, they send it to you in an email....

Yeah, it's really flat. It's a picture, even. You print it then cut it out, on the dotted line. Then you put it in a cup of tap water and microwave for 30 seconds at 50% power. Then, you let it set for...oh, why am I telling you this? It comes with instructions.

Oh, and notice he said "in crowd"? We don't have cliques here. We have crowds. You meet a much better class of people in crowds.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Yeah, it's really flat. It's a picture, even. You print it then cut it out, on the dotted line. Then you put it in a cup of tap water and microwave for 30 seconds at 50% power. Then, you let it set for...oh, why am I telling you this? It comes with instructions.

Oh, and notice he said "in crowd"? We don't have cliques here. We have crowds. You meet a much better class of people in crowds.

Meh - I got it, and it's really not worth all the noise about it.

I think I'm too cool for you guys.

 

[Mazuri]

I don't think there are malicious cliques, but more groups of folks who are more comfortable with those in their group *shrugs* that's life. New folks to the forums, like me, simply do not have the knowledge of the forum dynamics and personalities to instantly integrate. It takes time. I'm mostly a lurker/reader...with little to no experience, there's little I can contribute to the many interesting threads here and most of what I would ask can be found with a bit of work and a search. I enjoy reading...the in-jokes are funny (the ones I get anyway lol), even if I don't participate

 

[DVS]

See I agree here. I arrived in 2002, and I thought it was next to impossible to get into a conversation then it appeared to be so cliquich. Maybe it was perceptual on my part, and I tend to be shy, so that also might account for my perception. In any event I answered "Yes", but then all groups are by their definition a clique. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

I also joined in 2002. And I do think there were cliques, and I could give you names. But, that wouldn't be nice.

But, I also agree that for the most part, a lot of what looked like a clique or a pecking order of sorts was just people wrapped up in their conversations. They didn't even look at the posts of people they didn't know. People still do that now, and there's nothing wrong with it. The Cafe is a socal forum. They are socializing. They just scan the thread for a post from someone they know. That can easily make someone think their posts are being ignored. It sure made it seem like I was an outcast.

I started in the Author's Hangout, when I first joined. There's nothing wrong with them over there either, but they did the same thing. Repetitive posting is key, I think. The more people see your posts, the more you become a regular. Well, that and the decoder ring.

And there was one time, early on, when my dry sense of humor got me noticed, but not in a good way. I really thought there was a clique then, and I wasn't a member.

 

[snowy ciara]

I'll second DVS here and then raise him a tad. In my view, cliques are not only elitist and stuck up but they are intentionally exclusive. While I've certainly observed groups of bdsm posters who hand together I've never quite felt that they were intentionally excluding others.

Thirded and raised again with an "other" vote. Yes, we have groups of people who gravitate towards each other. I don't really see it as a high schoolish clique sort of thing because my experience with those is that people get intentionally excluded in a hurtful manner. I also don't see that the TotD Calendars are cliquified. Many of the people who nominate posts go out of their way to look for unusual posts. For example, several of us went back into the archives or looked for posts from some of our rarer visitors.

Looking at lit as a whole, we are definately NOT as rudely exclusive as some of the other boards.

 

[DVS]

Meh - I got it, and it's really not worth all the noise about it.

I think I'm too cool for you guys.

You know...you could be a member sooner, if you play your cards right. There's only two letters difference between servingBitch and DeservingBitch. Think about it.

 

[serijules]

This was pretty much my point earlier. I mostly post fluff. I occasionally don't, but since that's only occasionally I know not to expect to see my name a lot in the library. This does not bother me, if it did I'd post less fluff. The other issue is that more than half of my non-fluff threads are not bdsm related. They're hugs and understanding words and advice about non-bdsm serious stuff.

Add to that - if you want to see someone else's name in the library - ADD THEM. Or stop feeling sorry for yourself, cause you know what? This is a community. For the library to have everyone in the community's thoughts then everyone in the community needs to add to it. Not just the people 'in' the 'clique'.

I think when fluffy people post serious stuff and vice versa, it's just such a shock that by the time we all close our jaws, the convo has moved on already and we are positive we just dreamed it.

 

[DeservingBitch]

You know...you could be a member sooner, if you play your cards right. There's only two letters difference between servingBitch and DeservingBitch. Think about it.

Haha!

When I came up with that screen-name, I thought that people would throw that one at me all the time. But to my surprise, after 3 years of using this screen-name on various boards, you're the first person to ever bring it up.

Bitch seems to be what people go for, especially when trying to insult me. Sigh. The lack of creativity is killing me.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yeah, it's really flat. It's a picture, even. You print it then cut it out, on the dotted line. Then you put it in a cup of tap water and microwave for 30 seconds at 50% power. Then, you let it set for...oh, why am I telling you this? It comes with instructions.

Oh, and notice he said "in crowd"? We don't have cliques here. We have crowds. You meet a much better class of people in crowds.

And from what I can tell, it really sucks as a cock ring.

 

[EmpressFi]

I answered yes.. because I do think there are cliques. For the most part, they're just harmless collections of friends who share a common interest or have met in person and share a bond. While I dont think they're "malicious", heaven help you if you disagree with one member or appear to clash with one because then they all dump on you.

 

[graceanne]

I think when fluffy people post serious stuff and vice versa, it's just such a shock that by the time we all close our jaws, the convo has moved on already and we are positive we just dreamed it.

LOL Could be. To tell the truth I think they aren't expecting it so they scan over my posts. I mean, we're in a serious thread and their's two posts mine and . . . CM's (for instance). You're expecting CM to say something smart, so you'll go directly to her thread.

The other issue, actually, is times zones. I'm in the furthest back (now that we don't have any hawaiians). Lots of times I've had something smart to say, but the thread was started at a time that I was sleeping (or eating or whatever) and by the time I see it someone else who I agree with has already stated my opinion. I don't post then, cause then it just looks like I'm copying and/or kissing ass.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i voted "other" simply because i do believe there are "cliques" on the board and sometimes yes i do feel like my point is not valid in a thread where the 'cliquish' ones have posted, but it doesn't happen often so it really doesn't bother me. i mean i've seen it many times where an argument gets started in a thread and if it's between a very "old" poster and a newer poster most people jump in on the side of the "older" one but i think that would happen in any community..

*shrugs* i say what i have to say, if it's not liked by some..i seriously don't care.

 

[HottieMama]

I answered yes.. because I do think there are cliques. For the most part, they're just harmless collections of friends who share a common interest or have met in person and share a bond. While I dont think they're "malicious", heaven help you if you disagree with one member or appear to clash with one because then they all dump on you.

AMEN.... This is essentially what i was getting at.

TO ME...It seems like lately if you aren't kissing the right ass around here, there isn't a place for you.

 

[midwestyankee]

AMEN.... This is essentially what i was getting at.

TO ME...It seems like lately if you aren't kissing the right ass around here, there isn't a place for you.

That explains everything. I thought we were supposed to spank the right ass.

 

[BiBunny]

This thread seriously needs this link. Flame Warriors. Do you recognize yourself or others? I do.

 

[satindesire]

I'm too cute to care if I fit in or not.

 

[Chicklet]

I'm too cute to care if I fit in or not.

LOL!

YESSSSSSS

 

[Bi_Kitty]

I voted yes!

 

[satindesire]

LOL!

YESSSSSSS

Aw.

 

[midwestyankee]

This thread seriously needs this link. Flame Warriors. Do you recognize yourself or others? I do.

Agreed. This was hysterically funny. Thanks for sharing.

 

[BiBunny]

Agreed. This was hysterically funny. Thanks for sharing.

*Snort*

You're welcome.

 

[serijules]

The other issue, actually, is times zones. I'm in the furthest back (now that we don't have any hawaiians). Lots of times I've had something smart to say, but the thread was started at a time that I was sleeping (or eating or whatever) and by the time I see it someone else who I agree with has already stated my opinion. I don't post then, cause then it just looks like I'm copying and/or kissing ass.

I always worry about looking that way cuz frankly, I just don't have time enough to read every reply in a thread. I usually go in with the feeling of hey, someone asked a question, I'm going to answer it....and not worry about what has already been said or not said. Everyone puts their own flavour on a topic anyhow, even if it's a repetition of what's already been said. That's how *I* see it, but I'm unsure if that's how others do. So that is one topic I sometimes feel a bit self conscious about. But then again, I'm one of those people that truly doesn't mind a topic being discussed over and over and over again as each time, something new comes about and I like stumbling across those little treasures.

However, it's either I post my way or not at all, cuz by the time I get here, most threads are already a few pages into it and I don't have the time or the brainpower to read it all. Sometimes I skim...sometimes I just skip it all, post my two cents + inflation, and go back later to read myself repeating something someone else has already.

Oh well.

 

[Kierae]

This board isn't any different than our society in general and it reflects just that. Cliques exist everywhere and always have been. And just like in real life, if you "attack" one of the people in said clique, you normally will see the others corral around and protect their own.

We, as individuals have the choice of participating or not. Picking your battles wisely is always a good thing.

 

[intothewoods]

I voted yes, because it's obvious there are posters here who are friends, circles of friends, etc. But I don't know who the "in crowd" is. Who are they?

I hope no one here silences themselves because they don't want to deal with another poster. If that's the case, we should be having a discussion about forum behavior.

I hate mob mentality, and can think of a whole number of people (who aren't friends or in a clique, btw) around here who overreact when discussions get heated, take things way too personally and stomp all over threads with their ranting and raving. Stop doing this, people. Breathe and use your words. What else can be said?

 

[Chicklet]

I hate mob mentality, and can think of a whole number of people (who aren't friends or in a clique, btw) around here who overreact when discussions get heated, take things way too personally and stomp all over threads with their ranting and raving. Stop doing this, people. Breathe and use your words. What else can be said?

shrug, i wouldn't even go that far.

do what you want, people i have the power to laugh at you all.