Cliques...

[DVS]

duplicate post removed, apologies

OH, MY GOD! A virgin librarian. How sexy is that?

And, I hate to say it, but you're pretty "clicky" yourself. Double posting is a result of an itchy clicker finger. The only remedy is lots and lots of kinky sex. The sooner you start, the better your chances of a cure.










Why are you still reading this?
Get to it! Your finger is depending on you!

 

[midwestyankee]

I'll second DVS here and then raise him a tad. In my view, cliques are not only elitist and stuck up but they are intentionally exclusive. While I've certainly observed groups of bdsm posters who hand together I've never quite felt that they were intentionally excluding others.

When I first started lurking and posting in this forum many of my posts went unnoticed (or at least they went without comment). This still happens from time to time. Does this mean that I'm not a part of the "in crowd" here? Maybe, but I doubt if it's intentional on anyone's part. More likely, it's just a natural tendency to chat the most with one's acquaintances and wait for new members to establish their personalities through posting and commenting.

 

[BDSM=Librarian]

OH, MY GOD! A virgin librarian. How sexy is that?

And, I hate to say it, but you're pretty "clicky" yourself. Double posting is a result of an itchy clicker finger. The only remedy is lots and lots of kinky sex. The sooner you start, the better your chances of a cure.










Why are you still reading this?
Get to it! Your finger is depending on you!

: chuckles :

Providing I don't need to super glue my back to a wall again in the name of self preservation Mr DVS it's all good.

I just the way the domly folk seem to have this innate intuition/ability to mess with me when I'm still not fully awake. Did that skill come with the decoder ring : smiles :

 

[DeservingBitch]

I just the way the domly folk seem to have this innate intuition/ability to mess with me when I'm still not fully awake. Did that skill come with the decoder ring : smiles :

Whoa there -- what decoder ring? I didn't get mine. WTF?

 

[WriterDom]

No more than most forums are.

 

[graceanne]

Whoa there -- what decoder ring? I didn't get mine. WTF?

DVS hogs them all.

 

[DeservingBitch]

DVS hogs them all.

DVS, I want my decoder ring. Now.

 

[WriterDom]

I'm a little tired of my crop sig. Time for a change.

 

[serijules]

I come and go on my opinion in this, so I voted other.

I think the calendar is a poor example of cliquishness though. I have yet to see a post there that I don't think deserves to be there. I get mentioned in the calendar often, yet I've only been mentioned once that I know of in the "who do you admire/crush on/etc" threads that pop up often. I attribute that to the fact that I am a zero-fluff poster and only post when I seriously have something productive to add to a topic. It certainly doesn't mean I'm well known or popular, just that the time and thought I put into posts gets noticed. Everyone gets noticed for different things...some for their fun and fluffyness, some for their hotness and pictures, some for their horrible signatures lol. You can't have it all.

There are a few people here that I have never respected and very likely never will. I find them bitchy, egotistical and very nasty. For some reason I'll never understand, those same people seem to be very well liked by the board in general. That also is not a clique....I consider it a poor judge of character, but not a clique lol. My disliking those people and never interacting with them has not seemingly affected my relations with anyone else on this board, which is something I feel is a defining trait of a clique.

There are times the fluff threads and friendships are intimidating, but it's all just a matter of personality types and how they mesh. It's hard enough for me to keep track of the people here, even the ones that have posted daily for the years I've been here. New people take a long time to get to the point where I really recognize them. The board just isn't that big of a part of my life, so it takes a heck of a long time for me to form any sort of relations with someone. I try to keep that perspective in mind when I feel claims of cliquishness forming in my own head regarding others here.

 

[graceanne]

I come and go on my opinion in this, so I voted other.

I think the calendar is a poor example of cliquishness though. I have yet to see a post there that I don't think deserves to be there. I get mentioned in the calendar often, yet I've only been mentioned once that I know of in the "who do you admire/crush on/etc" threads that pop up often. I attribute that to the fact that I am a zero-fluff poster and only post when I seriously have something productive to add to a topic. It certainly doesn't mean I'm well known or popular, just that the time and thought I put into posts gets noticed. Everyone gets noticed for different things...some for their fun and fluffyness, some for their hotness and pictures, some for their horrible signatures lol. You can't have it all.

This was pretty much my point earlier. I mostly post fluff. I occasionally don't, but since that's only occasionally I know not to expect to see my name a lot in the library. This does not bother me, if it did I'd post less fluff. The other issue is that more than half of my non-fluff threads are not bdsm related. They're hugs and understanding words and advice about non-bdsm serious stuff.

Add to that - if you want to see someone else's name in the library - ADD THEM. Or stop feeling sorry for yourself, cause you know what? This is a community. For the library to have everyone in the community's thoughts then everyone in the community needs to add to it. Not just the people 'in' the 'clique'.

 

[Shankara20]

: chuckles :

Did that skill come with the decoder ring : smiles :

reminder - do not tell her any of our secrets,
no matter what alt she uses.....

 

[Shankara20]

Whoa there -- what decoder ring? I didn't get mine. WTF?

just hang on till you are part of the "in crowd" here, they send it to you in an email....

 

[graceanne]

just hang on till you are part of the "in crowd" here, they send it to you in an email....

Hey! No telling secrets!

That's it - you're outta the in crowd now.

 

[Shankara20]

Hey! No telling secrets!

That's it - you're outta the in crowd now.

been there - done that...

once I start showing off my panties again I'll be back in the "cool kids" group....

 

[graceanne]

been there - done that...

once I start showing off my panties again I'll be back in the "cool kids" group....

BRIBERY!

 

[Shankara20]

BRIBERY!

now I feel like a trashy little self-centered slut willing to do whatever it takes to win approval from the "in-crowd" to the point of using my sexuality as an attention grabber

 

[Safra]

I voted "other" because, yeah, I suppose there are cliques here, but I certainly have found myself welcomed and treated with respect as a newbie. As far as I can tell there's a hell of a lot more cliquishness on the other boards here than I've encountered in the BDSM area.

I find this place to be exceptionally orderly and polite, especially by comparison to the other forums.

bj

I second that strongly!

I did a yes vote, but I also feel the need to state that I have never really felt unvalued when posting in a thread.
Even if no one has commented on my post, I am fairly certain that it has at least been read by most if not all of the people who have also posted, and most importantly by the OP if it is a "advice requested" type of post.

I do know what you mean though Hottie Mama, but I guess that it does indeed take time for anyone to become familiar enough to the "regulars" that your posts get noticed and commented upon... we all sometimes need to feel that "I am not invisiible"


I think that some of the stuff that "feels cliquey" is really just friends supporting each other.
One thing I will state with certainty is that I feel more comfortable voicing my opinions and conversing with the family that is LIT than on any other online forum.

**Doles out lurves to ALL in Lit** :caning:

And I second this too!

I'm still a newbie myself, as well on the forum as to the whole BDSM-"thing", and I feel safe here, most of the time welcome, sometimes ignored and even liked...
There are some who seem to be not very amiable (to me!) but - *shrugs* - thats like in real life...
There are some whose opinions may be scary to me (and who are maybe the same as the above mentioned) but - *shrugs* - even that is normal...

Over all, I learned so incredibly much just by lurking, reading and maybe finally asking - I am just thankful!

Plus, I love to have fun and I have a lot in here!

You are gorgeous, folks! Supposedly even the scary ones...

Blowing a to everyone who wants one!

 

[graceanne]

now I feel like a trashy little self-centered slut willing to do whatever it takes to win approval from the "in-crowd" to the point of using my sexuality as an attention grabber

Great. Now I feel bad.

*hugs and smooches*

 

[Shankara20]

Great. Now I feel bad.

*hugs and smooches*

please feel better -
truth be told I like feeling "like a trashy little self-centered slut willing to do whatever it takes to win approval from the "in-crowd" to the point of using my sexuality as an attention grabber"

 

[Caitlynne]

I voted yes, but I think it has toned down a lot, in recent years. When I first got here, this was very cliquish.

See I agree here. I arrived in 2002, and I thought it was next to impossible to get into a conversation then it appeared to be so cliquich. Maybe it was perceptual on my part, and I tend to be shy, so that also might account for my perception. In any event I answered "Yes", but then all groups are by their definition a clique. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

 

[graceanne]

please feel better -
truth be told I like feeling "like a trashy little self-centered slut willing to do whatever it takes to win approval from the "in-crowd" to the point of using my sexuality as an attention grabber"

I wondered. LOL

 

[Caitlynne]

truth be told I like feeling "like a trashy little self-centered slut willing to do whatever it takes to win approval from the "in-crowd" to the point of using my sexuality as an attention grabber"

Oh damn, that is the best response I've read in years.

 

[rida]

now I feel like a trashy little self-centered slut willing to do whatever it takes to win approval from the "in-crowd" to the point of using my sexuality as an attention grabber

I thought THAT was the way to go !!!
Are you telling me that I've got it all wrong ??? Or that I just posted my pics on the wrong board ???
bummer ... but now I understand why I'm out ... *pout*

As for the cliques/no cliques ... it is life (vote: others).
Someone we like, someone we don't. Someone's words resonate, someone's words makes us cringe and someone else's just don't even register. Someone's personality is bubbly & outgoing and people will be drawn to them, someone else's is more subdue and shy and won't get noticed. And someone just live in the wrong time-zone for fluffy banter/friendship building interactions.

ETA: yes ... I'm trying to get in the in-crowd ... but than it won't be in anymore
To paraphrase Groucho Marx: "I would never want to belong to a club that would accept me as a member "

 

[FurryFury]

No

I'll second DVS here and then raise him a tad. In my view, cliques are not only elitist and stuck up but they are intentionally exclusive. While I've certainly observed groups of bdsm posters who hand together I've never quite felt that they were intentionally excluding others.

When I first started lurking and posting in this forum many of my posts went unnoticed (or at least they went without comment). This still happens from time to time. Does this mean that I'm not a part of the "in crowd" here? Maybe, but I doubt if it's intentional on anyone's part. More likely, it's just a natural tendency to chat the most with one's acquaintances and wait for new members to establish their personalities through posting and commenting.

That's what I think too. When I was new I was virtually ignored and when I wasn't I sometimes felt attacked. I think it takes a while before people are comfortable with newbies.

I try to be friendly to all but I don't always take the time to chat (I rarely chat in fact) or comment on each post.

The calendar has had posts put on it by many, many people. I don't see it as a good example of cliquishness at all.

There are people on here I consider friends. I don't spend time chatting with them. I rarely PM either.

I've never felt a part of any clique any where, nor have I sought to.

 

[DVS]

reminder - do not tell her any of our secrets,
no matter what alt she uses.....

So, how did she know about the decoder rings? Did she bribe you with a pair of her frilly panties?


No need to answer. I'd know that look anywhere.