Child Protective Services

[lisalove]

There was recently a thread about spanking and many of those who responded described what sounds like abuse.

Would anyone have preferred to have been apprehended by Child Protective Services and placed in foster care?

Do they (CPS) go too far sometimes?

 

[RisiaSkye]

I was placed in foster care.

It was no improvement--if anything, it was worse.

 

[penguindance]

 

[lisalove]

The trauma they cause children by removing them from their families is often far worse than what's going on at home. Parents who hit their kids can learn a better way.

I've also heard of cases where innocent families were torn apart by these 'witch hunters'.

Obviously, there are valid cases where removal is necessary. Sadly, many kids are the victims of malicious, degrading, serious, life-threatening abuse and that is absolutely intolerable.

How old were you Risia when you were taken and were you ever re-united with your family?

 

[matl]

Big Brother

My parents did not make a habit of hitting me, but, I tried to never cross the line that would cause them to do so. There was one time I really remember I was caught with no exceptions, doing the wrong thing and I payed for it by being knocked across the room. I deserved it, but in this day and age, living in a country that has the highest number of lawyers per capita, if I was the parent doing what my father did to a 15 year old who knew more than his father, there is a good chance I'd be in jail. Having a child today is difficult enough as is without having to worry about some sorry ass neighbor that does not believe in "touching" a child as far as correction goes, calling authorities about it. Yes, if they go to far. There are definite abuse cases that need to be taken care of, but if my child does something that deserves corporal punishment, it is my choice to decide. If, I cross the line and it becomes abuse, throw me in jail, but, where do you draw the line of abuse? I applaud the parent I see swatting a young childs behind or giving a quick pop to the back of the head in a store when they are acting like brats and throwing temper tantrums. I deplore parents that whip their children to the point of leaving welts across their backs, blackening their eyes, breaking their bones or anything else that bad. Punishment in my mind is one thing, but beating is something completely different. So, to answer your question, yes CPS goes to far.

 

[lilminx]

As a teacher, I am mandated by law to report any abuse I see to CPS. I use my judgement, but Ihave already had to call for two of my students this year. Both cases were more for neglect than for abuse, and neither child was taken away. A worker assigned to the case worked with the parents involved. Once child is actually doing his homework sometimes now, and he is cleaner than he used to be. The other child- well, things haven't improved any in her home...

 

[penguindance]

 

[RisiaSkye]

How old were you Risia when you were taken and were you ever re-united with your family?

I was 8 the last time I was taken out of my family. My mother had recently overdosed, and I had been left in the care of my four year old sister while mom's health and mental state deteriorated, largely due to a doctor who told her her physical problems were mental and gave her drugs rather than practice real medicine. I performed CPR on her until the ambulance (which I called) came; her heart stopped in transit.

Then, when she got out of the hospital, the state--which never gave a damn about what was going on in our house before, although they knew, because the police were out often--decided we needed to be removed. Before being placed with a family, we were strip searched in a room full of men, ostensibly to check for bruises, though I don't recall there being much attention to anything but our nudity. The family with whom we were placed (after I threw a fit and wouldn't let go of my sister, who they wanted to place seperately and possibly put up for adoption) worked us like dogs and allowed their older male children to treat us however they wished.

I went back home some time later, though I no longer remember how long it was. Something less than a full school year, I know that much. And despite the fact that the abuse in our house got worse rather than better, they never came back to take us out again.

Then again, whenever they smelled trouble, my parents tended to pick up and move. So, after the last round with CPS, we generally moved 2-3 times a year.

CPS may have its "heart" in the right place. But its "brain" is far from fully functional.

 

[marksgirl]

All I have to say about this is JUST TRY AND TAKE MY KIDS AWAY MOTHERFUCKERS! My folks have more money than the angency, we will just see who fucking wins! Damm it I have been a great mother just as my mother was to me, we will team together and CRUSH the BASTARDS. On a lighter note....I've never done anything to attrack their attention, my kids are spoiled and that is why I had them.

 

[MissTaken]

Well, on the defensive as I used to be one of those "witch hunters":

Too often CPS can't do anything more than slap a parent on the hand when something more stringent needs to change.

Secondly, you never hear about the cases where CPS does the right thing. The cases making the paper or the gossip ring in town are the cases where there are questions. Of the 1200 reports recieved per year in my very rural county, only one per year makes the paper. That is the case someone fucked up.

But, talk to an elementary school teacher and they will tell you, "I called CPS and they couldn't do anything." The "witch hunters" are bound by law. They don't remove children based upon their own judgement. They dont' wake up in the morning and say, "Who's family can I destroy today?"

Granted, as with any occupation, there are a certain number of incompetent workers, but by and large, their heart is with the children and it is sometimes better to err on the side of children's safety.


Thirdly, spanking is not abuse. You can strike your child with a brick and unless you leave a mark, it is not abuse.

 

[penguindance]

 

[Sillyman]

They are certainly biased at least. Efficiency is not the hallmark of any government agency, and that holds true with CPS as well as many others.

 

[huskie]

There was recently a thread about spanking and many of those who responded described what sounds like abuse.

Would anyone have preferred to have been apprehended by Child Protective Services and placed in foster care?

Do they (CPS) go too far sometimes?

I did not respond to that thread just because I didn't want nor do I believe I was abused...... However, I did get my butt kicked on a regular if not daily basis. Yet I know I deserved it
The beatings stopped around 10 yr old. They just gave up I guess??
My kids get spankings to, but not as much as I did. Not that my parents were bad, I'm just a wiser parent than they were and can find other means to correct them.
No. I would not have wanted CPS to come and get me then.

 

[lisalove]

Oh fuck...I had no intention of revealing this, but I feel compelled, especially after reading Risia's honesty.

When my baby was 6 months old, I brought him to the hospital because he had a bluish mark on his face (which being the paranoid mother I am, thought was either a severe allergic reaction or meningitis). My husband and I were immediately accused of abuse and despite the fact that he was thriving, chubby, obviously well-cared for, my nursing baby was ripped away from us.

I cannot even begin to describe what this did to me. Suffice it to say, I was almost psychotic with grief. We did not harm our baby.

We did get him back a month later, through the courts, but I was so filled with rage at their incompetence.

It was later determined he had a bleeding disorder (similar to hemophilia). I have fought as high as I can go and they arrogantly refuse to admit their error. What they put us through was nothing short of a nightmare.

When our precious child was 21 months old I was blessed with twins, which I believe to the core of my being was a gift from God to help heal from this trauma.

I do not trust their judgement. It is my firm belief that they either go too far or do not do enough.

prettylilstranger...our children are spoiled with so much love & grace, yet it happened to us. No one is immune.

 

[MissTaken]

No one is immune.

While my children were not removed, I was reported and investigated once a couple of years ago.

It broke my heart, threw me into a depression and made me want to hold them close.

I felt demeaned and berated and, if I may add, at the time, I was Director of a Children's Services Agency.

Teh report was unfounded, but that doesn't take away from the memories of the pain the report caused.

Yes, you hvae to watch your step. Anyone can make up a story and no one is immune.

 

[lilminx]

By the way, I just want to add that I don't think CPS always errs against the parents. Sometimes they don't do enough, in my opinion. I mentioned before that nothing has been done with the second child I had to call about. This child has been absent at least 40 times this year, with no medical or even parental notes. She often smells, and her breath reeks. Her father picks her up from school, and there have been occasions where he has reeked of alcohol.

She has told me stories about her parents drinking beer and fighting. She also ends up getting her own dinner because her parents "fall asleep after they drink beer and fight". When asked what her dinner normally is, she told me it's cereal, popcorn, or bananas, and that she gets it herself.

Her parents have left her home alone as well, because her parents work different shifts.

This child is six years old and knows way too much about these things, yet she is so innocent in other ways. She thinks that the way she grows up is "normal".

I am afraid that one time her parents are going to go off on a week-long bender, and there is going to be nothing in the house for her to eat.

When I called CPS about her, they went to the house, I filled out a form on her, and then that was it. I haven't heard about any follow-up. This child has now been out of school for 9 days straight, and I can't get in touch with the parents. Sad.

 

[Sillyman]

Of course, most parents think they are doing the right thing, even when they are abusive. Talk to most parents who really were callous saditic fucks, and they won't think they have done a thing wrong, or that what they did was just an isolated incident brought on by bad circumstances. It's a tough call.

I went through several scares about being taken away from my parents. My father was severly depressed and that meant that most of the time the house was a wreck and we had to feed ourselves and generally go unsupervised. This didn't mean my father didn't love us or never did anything mind you. We went to the library, we went to church, and we had many trips to the park. He taught us to swim. The illness took to much of a toll for him to keep up with day to day stuff, and we were just litle kids.

 

[Ishmael]

There was recently a thread about spanking and many of those who responded described what sounds like abuse.

Would anyone have preferred to have been apprehended by Child Protective Services and placed in foster care?

Do they (CPS) go too far sometimes?

Corporal punishment is a far cry from abuse. That is NOT to say that some children are not abused, only to say that a swat on the ass from time to time does NOT constitute abuse.

I find it strange indeed that the very people that rail against the 'heel and brimstone' ministers telling them that they are going to 'hell' and that decry that it's none of their business. Are the self same people that are calling CPS on their neighbors because an unruly child got a swat on the ass.

There are women here on the board that were truly abused. Sexually abused. Fucked by their father. But CPS never intervened. They are still living with the scars of their abuse. I would bet dollars to doughnuts that they would trade what they went through for a swat on the behind any day of the week.

Ishmael

 

[Mona Lisa]

Last week my in-laws in North Carolina recieved a visit from CPS. They figured it was because of a complaint about some inappropriate punishments my stepson said his mom's "friend" was administering. WRONG. Apparently, about a month ago CPS in Florida received an anonymous tip that my father-in-law had tied my stepson up with ribbon and touched him inappropriately, and had to investigate. It didn't matter that my stepson was at home in Florida when he was allegedly tied up and fondled by my father-in-law,who was in North Carolina at the time. I suppose that after they managed to lose a kid for 15 months before they noticed, Florida felt they had to cover their asses. Fortunately, North Carolina, not facing the same scrutiny at the moment, was able to use a little COMMON SENSE and dismissed the report.

Of course that didn't help my father-in-law sleep for the week it took them to dismiss the report. Right now he's planning on finding out who "anonymous" is so he can take his or her ass to court.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Witch Hunter

Yep yep yep, thats me.

Most of the time if you can't get in touch with the parents, neither can we. We call, we go to the house, we camp out on the doorstep, we leave notes, we send letters, we do everything we can to try and get in touch with the family but if they believe they have messed up, they are not coming to the door.

As for bias, I don't see it but then I can only speak for my office. When an issue is brought to our attention, we do not see race, color, creed, nationality or religion, we see a child or adult that someone feels is being harmed and proceed from there.

Dawn

 

[Guest]

As a social worker, I hope to educate and inform so that we're nort considered "witchunters". That saddens me. Once CPS is contacted, it's a given that an investigation and intake interview must be done. That's policy made by head honchos, not CPS workers. Of course, in every type of service, business, whatever there are bad apples. And, unfortunately, due to lack of money, and few people that want to work long hours, for no money, and little respect- in the past Social Services agencies have been forced to hire unqualified persons. The average social worker or CPS worker does not want to take a child away, unless there is no other method of treatment for said problem. Abuse and neglect are hard to define. We are all subjective thinkers.

 

[Bigdog]

I have had experiences with CPS from the position of accused as well as the accuser. Neither situation turned out for the worse. In fact, my daughter's friend is now living with an older sister and not getting the crap beat out of her by her mom any more.

I would venture to say that the quality of care from CPS varies wildly accross the country. Frankly, as little as they get paid and as much as they are overburdened with cases, I am amazed any cases turn out the way they should. The people on this thread that chimed in about working for CPS can probably attest to that. As for some workers being overzealous assholes, show me any government agency that doesn't have that problem.

 

[morninggirl5]

I worked closely with the CPS workers when i was a juvenile probation officer. Every worker i came into contact with had one goal -- do what was best for the child. There were many cases where all of us knew there was abuse, but without proof their hands were tied.

I have been a required reporter in my state for the past 11 years. I've reported several cases during that time and more often than not the child has remained in the horrible situation i reported.

I was accused of abuse by a parent in a former school. I didn't touch the child, but went through months of worry that i would no longer be able to teach. I understand how angry those false accusations can make you. The system doesn't work perfectly, but it's definitely better than several years ago.

 

[mcveigh]

my wifes's parents are foster parents in florida. they have about 13 kids in their house right now, 6 of them they have adopted.
Yes that's more than allowed by law but the case workers keep bringing more over.

Last week a 3 yr old girl in their care, climbed up on the glass coffee table and fell through making several large cuts on her back, one required 15 stitches. Poor thing, I like her a lot in situations like the this the parents are supposed to be notified. in this case they weren't then the mom found out and was furious (I don't blame her, finding out a week later your baby went to the hospital) she called the cops. so the police opened up a case just the other day, go out there like nazi's acting if my in-law's were child abusers ( no way they are, I think the should be toughter with them). all because a case worker didn't do her job. some things need to change in florida.

 

[YogiBare]

I've never worked in CPS, but have worked with them on a number of cases when I was a child and family psychotherapist. They are good-hearted people who work in exceptionally bad circumstances. They are required by law to check out complaints that they receive, no matter how unfounded. As a required reporter, the law does not allow me to use judgement when I hear an allegation of abuse or neglect. I must report them all, or are subject to criminal charges and the loss of my professional license. The CPS workers are frequently verbally abused, threatened, and physically attacked. One of my colleagues worked for CPS and a co-worker was shot while carrying out a court order. My hat is off to them.