Cheating gf/wife

[OlderFitterWiser]

If a man finds out his gf/wife is unfaithful should he confront the other man or just his gf/wife???

In a perfect society, we could all have sex with each other, all mind the children, share the wealth, and leave jealousy behind.

 

[Lifestyle66]

In a perfect society, we could all have sex with each other, all mind the children, share the wealth, and leave jealousy behind.

Such a perfect society would require all people to be identical and perfect to work. Otherwise, if everyone is allowed their free choices, the sexiest would be kept far too busy, and the least attractive would be shunned and left to watch the kids.

 

[gtnlynn]

When my gf/future wife was in college, she was free to date others until we became engaged. She was not free to have sex, but I discovered after we were married that she had regularly been fucked by some of her dates. I met most of them and suspected sex was occurring, but I did not know for sure until she told me years later. It was too late to get angry at her, and I could not blame the guys for fucking the sexiest girl on campus. In fact, since she had shown that sex could be just a physical activity for her, I gave her permission to have sex with others. One condition was that she had to tell me all about it so that she was not sneaking around or cheating like before.

 

[gbhl44]

my catholic wife had been faithful for most of our marriage. she was a virgin when we got married and, until about 4 years or so ago, i believe that she had never even seen or touched another man's cock.

A few years back, i started to experience sexual performance issues at the same time that my wife's sex drive started to increase dramatically. my wife told me that she needed counseling to cope with the situation and started going to the our parish priest for counseling. she ended up sleeping with the priest behind my back for about 6 months or so. this was also the time that she was studying for her masters in theology, and i assume that younger guys were hitting on her at her classes.

My wife is very involved with our local catholic church and our diocese. She is on the parish's board of trustees and various diocese committees, she gets involved with different church ministries, she teaches religious education to teenagers and the like. She also started a Bible study group.

The guy she is fucking now is a younger stay at home husband in her Bible study group. she has been bending over for him for over 3 years now.

she has no idea that i know about either of her affairs. But I jerk off constantly thinking about her cheating on me. i have no intention of confronting her.

 

[easyoff]

When I found out my wife was cheating with one of our close friends, I set it up so we could turn it into a threesome.

 

[saintcero]

My wife cheated. She will admit to a blowjob but says they didn’t fuck. My wife said the guy could not get an erection and that was why she blew him. Heard from the guys wife that he couldn’t get an erection either. However, there are some awkward silences when I ask for details of what they did together that make me wonder. Could be my mind playing tricks on me or could be the whole story has not been told about them fucking.

 

[LeeKee]

I've learned through two marriages that you can't change other people. They are who they are, and you can only change yourself.

My first wife and I had kids together. Then I realized how selfish she was. I would come home from work to find her ignoring the young kids, while she played video games. When the kids were older, she got a job and would come home late, leaving me to fix dinner for our family after I came home from work. When the kids were teenagers, I tried calling her to set up dinner dates at the end of my workdays, and she would often stand me up, letting me sit in a restaurant waiting for her. And on weekends, she'd disappear for hours, returning with the excuse she was out "running errands."

So, after decades of marriage, when the kids were grown, their anchor between us was gone. I realized that I could never change my wife's behaviors of leaving me alone, ... so I changed mine, and I started going out to find companionship.

I had no evidence my wife "cheated" on me. But the emotional distance she imposed between us and the effect on my life was the same. When she realized I was out having fun with others, she insisted on a divorce. When I agreed, she then changed her mind. We tried counseling, and she said she'd try to change. But after those years of emotional distance, I realized she wouldn't really change, and I didn't want her to be forced to change! So, I didn't change my mind about the divorce. No other woman took me from my first wife. My first wife discarded me with her selfish indifference.


My current wife has a saying: "We all make choices!" And if she ever cheats on me, that will be her choice, not the other guy's. I won't try to change her to reconsider respecting me and our marriage. And I won't blame the other guy for my wife's choice! I'll change the only thing I have control over: my own mind!

IMO, Another guy might try pursuing your wife, but she makes the choice to ignore you and/or to let the other guy into her life! And if she made those choices once, she'll do it again.

I made the choice to stop trying to change my first wife, and just try to make better choices in my life by finding those who recognize ME for who I am.

Thanks for sharing your story. Sounds familiar and in a lot of ways is like what I’m going through. Like you said, if she is disconnected from me, she has let someone else in her life. Changed her hair, eye brows, dresses different. Then act like it my imagination that she has made changes. The emotional distance is the biggest sign. She is constantly on her phone and hides it from sight, reflex at this point, even if she doesn’t have to. I’ve called her out on several occasions only to get blank stare back, like a POW adhering to the code of conduct. We have kids and once they are “no longer out anchor” I guarantee she will ditch me. But by then I may beat her to it. How f’ing selfish to drag me along knowing she has nothing for me anymore, except financial stability, while she gets to pursue whatever/whoever else on my time and dime.

 

[Buffalogurl]

Welp my story is very similar to several examples above. You know something is amiss you just can't put your finger on it. Little things, body language is off, the way she feels when you hug her, ect.... (disclaimer, I wasn't the best husband nor was I the worst).... what set it for me, I hadn't had sex in about 3 weeks so I prepared a very nice meal, decent wine and all the trimmings.... later in the evening after all of that including a movie with a little cuddling, foreplay, we get to bed, so I go down on her I get busy and I get a mouth full of someone else's semen... the shit that flashs in your mind in a heart beat is unbelievable......(husbands you know exactly what I speaking about) as it became I kept my head and stopped giving oral slid my hammer in her and finished a lot more physical than normal, didn't show what I discovered, went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out.....
The betrayal is heart rending.
All of that stated, this advice goes to the unfaithful.... have the tits or balls just to twist off........

 

[Greytruck]

I felt like twice my wife might be having an affair.
did I confront her? Nope! Didn’t feel I should nor want too.
I had three affairs on her. So I figu after 39 years together we are even

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

Over the last couple of months my wife and I have really opened up about our past loves. We’ve known about each others serious loves to varying degrees but all of a sudden she wanted to know some specific details, so it’s been fun going back in the way-back machine and relaying some juicy details!

It came up in conversation yesterday about how I was really surprised she didn’t cheat on me when we first were married, as I was deployed for over three years of our first five yrs of marriage and my current job keeps me on the road for close to 180 days a year. She agreed it was a Herculean effort on her part. A couple or three coworkers came up who I knew openly flirted with her.

One guy she admitted, had he not been so straight and loyal to his wife, and had given her the nod, she’d have gone for it.

 

[CoyoteHoward]

Thanks for sharing your story. Sounds familiar and in a lot of ways is like what I’m going through. Like you said, if she is disconnected from me, she has let someone else in her life. Changed her hair, eye brows, dresses different. Then act like it my imagination that she has made changes. The emotional distance is the biggest sign. She is constantly on her phone and hides it from sight, reflex at this point, even if she doesn’t have to. I’ve called her out on several occasions only to get blank stare back, like a POW adhering to the code of conduct. We have kids and once they are “no longer out anchor” I guarantee she will ditch me. But by then I may beat her to it. How f’ing selfish to drag me along knowing she has nothing for me anymore, except financial stability, while she gets to pursue whatever/whoever else on my time and dime.

Get a post-nuptual agreement done.

Protect yourself.