Cheating gf/wife

[Missk_2022]

Don't get mad get even. Pack up her stuff and put it on the porch with cab fare to his place

 

[PastMaster]

You

Don't get mad get even. Pack up her stuff and put it on the porch with cab fare to his place

I wouldnt give her cab fare - i made the bitch walk!!

 

[tnhardon]

If a man finds out his gf/wife is unfaithful should he confront the other man or just his gf/wife???

The way I view it, there isn’t any reason to confront the other man. She is the one cheating on you, not him. Also opens up the door for a physical confrontation. Last thing I’d want is to get cheated on and have my ass beat.

 

[Missk_2022]

You

I wouldnt give her cab fare - i made the bitch walk!!

I dont blame you.... but she would get there faster.... hahaha... women like this give good loyal women like me a bad name and ruin good guys that are looking for a good woman....

 

[PastMaster]

I dont blame you.... but she would get there faster.... hahaha... women like this give good loyal women like me a bad name and ruin good guys that are looking for a good woman....

It was certainly many years before I would even contemplate a serious relationship again.
Happily I found a good woman -or at least one that would put up with me - and we are a month away from 25 years married.

So all you guys out there who have been cheated on - Don't lose hope - if a loser like me can find someone - then anyone can

 

[FantasySharer1]

If I found my wife cheating on me with another guy - I would pack up things and file for divorce.

If I found my wife cheating on me with another girl - especially a girl I knew or had some attraction for, I'd let them finish, and then sit her down privately and talk about what I saw, what it means, and whether our marriage still means something to her and how we can let her explore this part of her while we are married. No reason at all to break up a happy home over woman-on-woman action as far as I'm concerned.

If I found my wife cheating on me with her brother, I'd strip, walk in, and help them fuck so I can drink their creampie from her pussy when he finishes inside her. I think sibling-sex is sacred and would never keep them from each other if we are all on the same page that they aren't going to embarrass our family, we'd be safe, and that this hall pass she has from me to have him is limited to him and him alone.

 

[Unblemished]

I think, unsurprisingly, some people on the erotica board are looking at this from an erotica lens, rather than what it means in real life. In most situations cheating is a negative act that breaks the bonds of trust in a relationship and should be looked down on wholeheartedly. Unless it’s your fetish or something, but remember that the people on Lit are not a representative sample of the population and are probably far more likely to be into that than the man on the street.

Open relationships are fine; by definition a non-monogamous relationship that follows the rules set up by the couple is not cheating. But that agreement is what’s important. As for other things, while some people lose their partners through inattentive mess or other failings, it’s ridiculous to presume that as a default. It smacks of victim blaming and post-hoc justifications. If you have issues you need to communicate and work on them, not use them as an excuse to fuck about and blame your partner later. And no, betraying a partners trust generally doesn’t strengthen a marriage, no matter how much someone might claim it ‘fired up their passion’ or whatever.

Now, some people don’t feel safe leaving or opening their relationship for good reason, so I don’t blame them: Cheating on an abusive partner because you don’t dare leave them, say, or experimenting with bisexuality when you have a homophobic partner, for instance, is a different matter. Good for them.

But generally, if you’ve agreed to a monogamous relationship and you violate your partners trust by cheating, you’ve done something very wrong.

(And yeah, confront the partner, not the person they were with, outside of very weird and specific situations that probably occur in Loving Wives and Fetish more often than reality)

 

[FantasySharer1]

I think, unsurprisingly, some people on the erotica board are looking at this from an erotica lens, rather than what it means in real life. In most situations cheating is a negative act that breaks the bonds of trust in a relationship and should be looked down on wholeheartedly. Unless it’s your fetish or something, but remember that the people on Lit are not a representative sample of the population and are probably far more likely to be into that than the man on the street.

Open relationships are fine; by definition a non-monogamous relationship that follows the rules set up by the couple is not cheating. But that agreement is what’s important. As for other things, while some people lose their partners through inattentive mess or other failings, it’s ridiculous to presume that as a default. It smacks of victim blaming and post-hoc justifications. If you have issues you need to communicate and work on them, not use them as an excuse to fuck about and blame your partner later. And no, betraying a partners trust generally doesn’t strengthen a marriage, no matter how much someone might claim it ‘fired up their passion’ or whatever.

Now, some people don’t feel safe leaving or opening their relationship for good reason, so I don’t blame them: Cheating on an abusive partner because you don’t dare leave them, say, or experimenting with bisexuality when you have a homophobic partner, for instance, is a different matter. Good for them.

But generally, if you’ve agreed to a monogamous relationship and you violate your partners trust by cheating, you’ve done something very wrong.

(And yeah, confront the partner, not the person they were with, outside of very weird and specific situations that probably occur in Loving Wives and Fetish more often than reality)

Completely agree.

 

[PastMaster]

If I found my wife cheating on me with another guy - I would pack up things and file for divorce.

If I found my wife cheating on me with another girl - especially a girl I knew or had some attraction for, I'd let them finish, and then sit her down privately and talk about what I saw, what it means, and whether our marriage still means something to her and how we can let her explore this part of her while we are married. No reason at all to break up a happy home over woman-on-woman action as far as I'm concerned.

If I found my wife cheating on me with her brother, I'd strip, walk in, and help them fuck so I can drink their creampie from her pussy when he finishes inside her. I think sibling-sex is sacred and would never keep them from each other if we are all on the same page that they aren't going to embarrass our family, we'd be safe, and that this hall pass she has from me to have him is limited to him and him alone.

So her cheating is ok as long as it feeds your fantasy too?

 

[Missk_2022]

I like my kinks but cheating is cheating . No fantasy will take the hurt away knowing that my partner or perspective partner is sharing intimacy with another woman. It would break my heart. I dont even talk to 2 people that could be someone I am interested 8n at the same time. No flirting nothing. There is a line

 

[NC_Coastal]

I tend to listen to those who have cheated or have been cheated on for advice about it. I'm in the latter group, and I can tell you it's a devastating betrayal that no one ever recovers from. You might be able to forgive, but you will never forget. And trust, maybe the strongest bond married couples have, never heals. If you decide to stay together, it's a leap of faith at best. Cheating is a real-life sin, not a fantasy fetish. The two have nothing in common, and you simply can't know that unless you've cheated or have been cheated on.

 

[FantasySharer1]

So her cheating is ok as long as it feeds your fantasy too?

Correct. I would be the aggrieved party so the parameters of what counts as cheating would be up to me.

It would go the other way too.

 

[PastMaster]

I tend to listen to those who have cheated or have been cheated on for advice about it. I'm in the latter group, and I can tell you it's a devastating betrayal that no one ever recovers from. You might be able to forgive, but you will never forget. And trust, maybe the strongest bond married couples have, never heals. If you decide to stay together, it's a leap of faith at best. Cheating is a real-life sin, not a fantasy fetish. The two have nothing in common, and you simply can't know that unless you've cheated or have been cheated on.

Amen to that.
What you think you will feel when you find out she has been cheating on you, is no where near the actuality of it.

 

[Pairaclities]

Correct. I would be the aggrieved party so the parameters of what counts as cheating would be up to me.

It would go the other way too.

Well, just my opinion based on what you have written in the 2 posts is indicating a very shallow POV and in return, the same applies to personality. Your relationships will only work with someone equally shallow.

 

[FantasySharer1]

Well, just my opinion based on what you have written in the 2 posts is indicating a very shallow POV and in return, the same applies to personality. Your relationships will only work with someone equally shallow.

The weight you ascribe to a random man's post on Literotica is telling of the size of your own world, and your own mind. Most of us come here to masturbate and fantasize.

If this means that much to you, it's time to seek help friend.

 

[Pairaclities]

I might also suggest the same.

 

[K0fcali]

The way I view it, there isn’t any reason to confront the other man. She is the one cheating on you, not him. Also opens up the door for a physical confrontation. Last thing I’d want is to get cheated on and have my ass beat.

Haha true. I wouldnt say anything to the other guy because its not up to him what she does with her pussy.

 

[K0fcali]

I dont blame you.... but she would get there faster.... hahaha... women like this give good loyal women like me a bad name and ruin good guys that are looking for a good woman....

I think women are the cause of and solution to this problem. They control all access to sex. I would never make a good woman suffer for the actions of the deceptive ones. Actually i would treat the loyal women like the treasures they are.

 

[K0fcali]

I like my kinks but cheating is cheating . No fantasy will take the hurt away knowing that my partner or perspective partner is sharing intimacy with another woman. It would break my heart. I dont even talk to 2 people that could be someone I am interested 8n at the same time. No flirting nothing. There is a line

What are your kinks? Will you marry me??

 

[CoyoteHoward]

So, this is super painful for me still.

And it's a long story.

However, here goes.

My wife, Kay, and I met in high school. I loved her from minute 1. We've been together since junior year.

I went into the army after a failed year at college, it wasn't what I wanted and my parents pressured me into it. The military allowed me to have what I wanted: a family, a trade, and medical for my type 1 diabetic wife.

I enlist, she gets pregnant after I get back from basic, we get married. Our son is born, I deploy, she goes home and gets in a year of school.

On a Friday we IM, we did daily, and I go to bed. On Sunday I get a hold of her mother(we're close) and she hasn't heard from Kay since Thursday. This is unusual. We get ahold of a local aunt, who discovers Kay unconscious and our 18 month old surviving out of the refridgerator. I get red crossed home for 2 weeks. Doctors say another hour we'd of lost her. She says she was trying y ration her insulin until she could see a Tricare doctor on her way to her parents in another couple weeks. After Iraq we leave our first duty station for Hawaii.

Now I'm not perfect. I've lost my temper, putting my fist through a bedroom door at one point. I play video games. I'm a spender.

This all boiled over and she took our son back to our home state and lived with her sister who was at college.

She informs me she'd like money for a car, apartment and food. I decline the apartment. I want us to work. I want her to come back. I'm not paying her to stay away and keep us apart when they have a home in Hawaii.

Eventually she comes back, everything is fine.

We move to our last duty station, Texas. With about 12 months left, she takes our 9 year old home for the summer to be around family, gets offered a job with only stay-at-home-mom experience, and we decide to treat yhe remaining 9 months til I get out like a deployment. We'll have a home to already be in, she'll have a job while I transition out, our boy can get friends and roots down finally. Family is close. We'll have support for our next chapter.

With about 3 weeks left, she tells me I'm not welcome in their apartment when I get back. This is a blow to me. I thought everything was fine. I mend, I plead, I come home after getting out and she allows me to live with them. The proximity softens her, things go back to normal.

She takes sudden trips to see her friend Andi, a girl friend from college. Bout 1 every month. I notice her smiling at her phone a lot and texting, but conveniently hiding it from me.

We buy a house, I get a full time job, life seems great.

As we're christening our new fire pit with family and friends, I have her phone a take the opportunity to look at her messages.

Andi and her apparently love each other. Have for a while, I get several minutes and my wife wants her phone. I confront her immediately, she grabs her phone/I give it up to her.

I'm told it's just texting, she's sorry, she's sorry, she's sorry. She promptly deletes all of everything.

About 2 years later, I sneak her phone again. Nothing to report.

Except in the deleted files, where there are screenshots of text conversations with her and Andi where Andi asks Kay about "why can't it just be sex then?"

Kay: "I'm not discussing my personal life."

Andi: "So hooking up is okay to talk about?"

Kay: "Sure."

Andi: "So when can you come down again?"

I also find pictures of Kay and a man I've never seen before, clothed and selfies, but one of tgem is her sitting on the floor of a bedroom I don't know with our dog there.

I send some of these deleted pictures to myself and go to work.

I immediately confront her when I get off or work. Yes, her and Andi have had sex. She doesn't want to anymore. Yes, Andi is blackmailing her by threatening to tell me directly.

I let that sit for a few hours.

I ask about the man.

Okay, so Andi is really Max, whom she's known since her diabetic camp days. They reconnected while she was home during our tour in Hawaii. They first had sex then.

This picked back up after she came home during that summer.

I don't know why, but I blame myself, I tell her I understand but want marriage counseling. She promises she'll do anything. We never see a counselor. About 1 year later we have a baby girl.

She confesses in labor, in the parking lot of the hospital that she never went to the doctor after the confirming appointment. So that's why there's no ultrasound or anything. It's why I could never make any of her appointments, she lied about having them.

Her blood pressure is so high they won't let her be on her feet again once she's checked in. They say she could pass out at any moment. Daisy is born and a heart defect is found. We're told it has nothing to do with her lack of being seen. Daisy and I get flown 5 hours away to tge regional children's hospital for heart surgery. Kay follows two days later after she's released.

I have no evidence of any more indiscretion. But it eats away at me. I go to a therapist, he says after about 5 months that until we have marriage counseling, there's nothing more he can do for me.

Kay promises she will, but my ultimatum of 1 Jan 2022 has obviously come and gone.

All that is to say that a wronged partner should confront the betrayer. But I feel the 3rd party, who PROBABLY knows they're a 3rd party, is more evil.

They're knowingly participating. And if that 3rd party is another man? Yo, fuck that dude. I would out him til his dying day as a man with zero code, morals, or honor.

Max knowingly helped my wife cheat. He KNEW what he was doing. Kay isn't innocent by any means, but Max could've declined. He didn't.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

I knew a guy once. He pulled 16 years of a 40-year bit for killing his wife's side guy with a knife. Cut him up pretty good, as I recall. He said the judge asked him why he didn't kill her, and he said that he told the judge that her daughter needed her momma, and that's how he only got 40 years.


I think I would just have blown town and left all three of them.

 

[LeeKee]

You started off so well. However you shoulda confronted the real man responsible for your wife's infidelity...yourself!!!

We are responsible for our own actions whether you believe that or not.

 

[LeeKee]

So, this is super painful for me still.

And it's a long story.

However, here goes.

My wife, Kay, and I met in high school. I loved her from minute 1. We've been together since junior year.

I went into the army after a failed year at college, it wasn't what I wanted and my parents pressured me into it. The military allowed me to have what I wanted: a family, a trade, and medical for my type 1 diabetic wife.

I enlist, she gets pregnant after I get back from basic, we get married. Our son is born, I deploy, she goes home and gets in a year of school.

On a Friday we IM, we did daily, and I go to bed. On Sunday I get a hold of her mother(we're close) and she hasn't heard from Kay since Thursday. This is unusual. We get ahold of a local aunt, who discovers Kay unconscious and our 18 month old surviving out of the refridgerator. I get red crossed home for 2 weeks. Doctors say another hour we'd of lost her. She says she was trying y ration her insulin until she could see a Tricare doctor on her way to her parents in another couple weeks. After Iraq we leave our first duty station for Hawaii.

Now I'm not perfect. I've lost my temper, putting my fist through a bedroom door at one point. I play video games. I'm a spender.

This all boiled over and she took our son back to our home state and lived with her sister who was at college.

She informs me she'd like money for a car, apartment and food. I decline the apartment. I want us to work. I want her to come back. I'm not paying her to stay away and keep us apart when they have a home in Hawaii.

Eventually she comes back, everything is fine.

We move to our last duty station, Texas. With about 12 months left, she takes our 9 year old home for the summer to be around family, gets offered a job with only stay-at-home-mom experience, and we decide to treat yhe remaining 9 months til I get out like a deployment. We'll have a home to already be in, she'll have a job while I transition out, our boy can get friends and roots down finally. Family is close. We'll have support for our next chapter.

With about 3 weeks left, she tells me I'm not welcome in their apartment when I get back. This is a blow to me. I thought everything was fine. I mend, I plead, I come home after getting out and she allows me to live with them. The proximity softens her, things go back to normal.

She takes sudden trips to see her friend Andi, a girl friend from college. Bout 1 every month. I notice her smiling at her phone a lot and texting, but conveniently hiding it from me.

We buy a house, I get a full time job, life seems great.

As we're christening our new fire pit with family and friends, I have her phone a take the opportunity to look at her messages.

Andi and her apparently love each other. Have for a while, I get several minutes and my wife wants her phone. I confront her immediately, she grabs her phone/I give it up to her.

I'm told it's just texting, she's sorry, she's sorry, she's sorry. She promptly deletes all of everything.

About 2 years later, I sneak her phone again. Nothing to report.

Except in the deleted files, where there are screenshots of text conversations with her and Andi where Andi asks Kay about "why can't it just be sex then?"

Kay: "I'm not discussing my personal life."

Andi: "So hooking up is okay to talk about?"

Kay: "Sure."

Andi: "So when can you come down again?"

I also find pictures of Kay and a man I've never seen before, clothed and selfies, but one of tgem is her sitting on the floor of a bedroom I don't know with our dog there.

I send some of these deleted pictures to myself and go to work.

I immediately confront her when I get off or work. Yes, her and Andi have had sex. She doesn't want to anymore. Yes, Andi is blackmailing her by threatening to tell me directly.

I let that sit for a few hours.

I ask about the man.

Okay, so Andi is really Max, whom she's known since her diabetic camp days. They reconnected while she was home during our tour in Hawaii. They first had sex then.

This picked back up after she came home during that summer.

I don't know why, but I blame myself, I tell her I understand but want marriage counseling. She promises she'll do anything. We never see a counselor. About 1 year later we have a baby girl.

She confesses in labor, in the parking lot of the hospital that she never went to the doctor after the confirming appointment. So that's why there's no ultrasound or anything. It's why I could never make any of her appointments, she lied about having them.

Her blood pressure is so high they won't let her be on her feet again once she's checked in. They say she could pass out at any moment. Daisy is born and a heart defect is found. We're told it has nothing to do with her lack of being seen. Daisy and I get flown 5 hours away to tge regional children's hospital for heart surgery. Kay follows two days later after she's released.

I have no evidence of any more indiscretion. But it eats away at me. I go to a therapist, he says after about 5 months that until we have marriage counseling, there's nothing more he can do for me.

Kay promises she will, but my ultimatum of 1 Jan 2022 has obviously come and gone.

All that is to say that a wronged partner should confront the betrayer. But I feel the 3rd party, who PROBABLY knows they're a 3rd party, is more evil.

They're knowingly participating. And if that 3rd party is another man? Yo, fuck that dude. I would out him til his dying day as a man with zero code, morals, or honor.

Max knowingly helped my wife cheat. He KNEW what he was doing. Kay isn't innocent by any means, but Max could've declined. He didn't.

I’d kick his ass. And ditch her. That’s just me.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I told my wife a long time ago that I would be true and that I expected the same in return. I told her that If she cheated, it was a auto-deal breaker. No counseling, no second chances, it's over and I would tell our sons the truth. She's never given me a reason to suspect her in 31 years. For those of you who have experienced it, I offer my most profound sympathies.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I've learned through two marriages that you can't change other people. They are who they are, and you can only change yourself.

My first wife and I had kids together. Then I realized how selfish she was. I would come home from work to find her ignoring the young kids, while she played video games. When the kids were older, she got a job and would come home late, leaving me to fix dinner for our family after I came home from work. When the kids were teenagers, I tried calling her to set up dinner dates at the end of my workdays, and she would often stand me up, letting me sit in a restaurant waiting for her. And on weekends, she'd disappear for hours, returning with the excuse she was out "running errands."

So, after decades of marriage, when the kids were grown, their anchor between us was gone. I realized that I could never change my wife's behaviors of leaving me alone, ... so I changed mine, and I started going out to find companionship.

I had no evidence my wife "cheated" on me. But the emotional distance she imposed between us and the effect on my life was the same. When she realized I was out having fun with others, she insisted on a divorce. When I agreed, she then changed her mind. We tried counseling, and she said she'd try to change. But after those years of emotional distance, I realized she wouldn't really change, and I didn't want her to be forced to change! So, I didn't change my mind about the divorce. No other woman took me from my first wife. My first wife discarded me with her selfish indifference.


My current wife has a saying: "We all make choices!" And if she ever cheats on me, that will be her choice, not the other guy's. I won't try to change her to reconsider respecting me and our marriage. And I won't blame the other guy for my wife's choice! I'll change the only thing I have control over: my own mind!

IMO, Another guy might try pursuing your wife, but she makes the choice to ignore you and/or to let the other guy into her life! And if she made those choices once, she'll do it again.

I made the choice to stop trying to change my first wife, and just try to make better choices in my life by finding those who recognize ME for who I am.