Cheating gf/wife
- Thread starter K0fcali
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I confronted my wife. I was so pissed and we came within a eyelash of splitting. But we kept it together. Soon after though her tryst started to turn me on. I began to fantasize and masturbate about other men fucking her! And secretly hoped she’d do it again!
I honestly think the problem is with people on Lit in general. The reason I had asked the question was I have heard many times irl men fighting other men their wives cheated with. I believe that's the dumbest move a man can make. Blaming a man for a choice your woman made.
You started off so well. However you shoulda confronted the real man responsible for your wife's infidelity...yourself!!!
Exactly. Thank you. There is hope for people on lit. I too often hear the opposite.
itsallgood2002
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Cheating is a bad kind of hurt inflicted on the unsuspecting spouse, the most personal kind of hurt. Can that person be trusted with whats best for the children (if any) or finances. If they can rationalize breaking your heart they can rationalize breaking your bank account. Ask me how I know.
From someone who has cheated and been cheated on I blame the person getting cheated on. They failed their duties as a partner or didn't know how to pick quality partners. They drove the other person to become unfaithful or are a bad judge of character. If you get cheated on its your own fault for staying.
lc69hunter
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It is not easy to place blame. A one-off is not threat to a marriage. In fact, it probably helps the marriage. However, an affair, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a workplace romance are definite threats to a marriage, and are indications of underlying problems in that marriage, usually caused by one or both parties checking out, and she needs what she is not getting at home.
What generally happens is a divorce, because neither party wants to take their part of the responsibility for the problems. The end that she gets branded as a cheating slut, breaking apart families and friendships, when many times it was the husband who checked out of the marriage in the first place, putting job, hobbies, and other things in front of his wife, but because of our misogynistic society, she gets the blame.
What generally happens is a divorce, because neither party wants to take their part of the responsibility for the problems. The end that she gets branded as a cheating slut, breaking apart families and friendships, when many times it was the husband who checked out of the marriage in the first place, putting job, hobbies, and other things in front of his wife, but because of our misogynistic society, she gets the blame.
Britva415
"Alabaster," my ass
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Lemme get this straight, she cheated, he did not, you don't think she deserves blame?
lc69hunter
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If you are clueless enough to think that cheating is a unilateral decision, and not as a result of cause and effect, you are still a boy in a man's body, like many of the of the commenters in the LW section of Literotica that love BTB. Most times when a woman has an affair, it is because husband has checked out of the marriage, not fulfilling his part of the marriage contract, because of buddies, hobbies, games, work, etc, and is unwilling to accept his part in the marriage problems.
Britva415
"Alabaster," my ass
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So that's a no, then?
lc69hunter
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I see you are still hung up on black or white answers. Very little in life, including this, are black or white. Affairs are in that category.
However, in the one-off category, most surveys have men and women cheating at about the same rate (low 30% range). However, Cosmo magazine published a survey stating that 42% of women have cheated on their spouses, and most were not affairs, but one-offs. The women commented that they loved their husbands and that a random encounter with a man that ignited her passions, made her love life with her husband so much better, because it ignited her libido, and she shared that with her husband.
Tell me again, how that is a bad thing?
Britva415
"Alabaster," my ass
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It just seemed to me like you were invested in not calling a woman's cheating a bad thing.
I get that you were calling the entire situation a bad thing, the situation which led to someone feeling like cheating was a good idea. I get that your position is that both people working on making a poor relationship better is a good thing.
It just seemed to me like when someone fails to pursue that, or to succeed at it, and cheats, they get a pass if they're female.
Pairaclities
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As someone who cheated one time on a wonderful, faithful woman due to exactly the parameters listed in post #9, however with the added immature emotion of anger, I can say that the event does change the relationship no matter which side (gender) is the cheat.
Fortunately for me, my wife of 4 years at the time forgave me and we had a total of 41 years together before she passed. There were challenges to be sure, but her example of forgiveness and kindness has made me a better person.
So not all situations of a cheat are necessarily bad. Sometimes some good can come out of bad events but I guess it takes some faith in humanity to absorb that concept.
Fortunately for me, my wife of 4 years at the time forgave me and we had a total of 41 years together before she passed. There were challenges to be sure, but her example of forgiveness and kindness has made me a better person.
So not all situations of a cheat are necessarily bad. Sometimes some good can come out of bad events but I guess it takes some faith in humanity to absorb that concept.
lc69hunter
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Egregious cheating is a bad thing. Cheating because the spouse is not taking care of business at home is a sad thing, it generally means an affair that ends up in divorce. However, One-off random cheating can either be a good thing, if the increased libido and self-worth translates to better sex at home, or it can be a bad thing, if discovered, and the cheated spouse has a fragile ego and insecurities, not realizing it is not about him or her at all.
My wife and I were not totally monogamous when we were dating, and even after we became engaged. We never went looking for it, but if it found us... Realizing that we soon would be married, but still be the same two people, we laid out the rules and guidelines for our marriage. Basically, no affairs, no boyfriends or girlfriends, no office romances, no intentional embarrassments of the other spouse, but, as long as we have a good marriage and both of us bring our A game to the marriage, then that random cock or pussy presented no threat to either of us or the marriage, and probably improved it.
My wife and I were not totally monogamous when we were dating, and even after we became engaged. We never went looking for it, but if it found us... Realizing that we soon would be married, but still be the same two people, we laid out the rules and guidelines for our marriage. Basically, no affairs, no boyfriends or girlfriends, no office romances, no intentional embarrassments of the other spouse, but, as long as we have a good marriage and both of us bring our A game to the marriage, then that random cock or pussy presented no threat to either of us or the marriage, and probably improved it.
IsobelDoc
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You are clueless enough to blame the victim.
Yes there are wives that cheat because there are issues in the marriage - but surely she has as much responsibility to challenge those issues rather than 'take her business elsewhere?'
Most cheating spouses, of both sexes are clueless that there was even a problem, they may have got into a rut, or had some issues, but the thought that their significant other would betray them like that didnt even occur to them.
No matter the provocation cheating is never the answer - if you dont like what is happening in the relationship then either deal with it or divorce.
And as for the occasional 'cheating' being good for the marriage - Fuck no - Bringing other people into your relationship is never good for a marriage, and those who say it is are fooling themselves. There's a reason why 90% of open marriages fail.
Just because you have the morals of an alley cat, doesnt mean that everyone does. You want to fuck around fine, you do you. Your wife allows it - also fine she can do her. But if my S/O sticks his dick in anything that isnt me that's our relationship done and over. No hallpasses, no second chances.
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IsobelDoc
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Deal with the gf/wife - getting into it with the other man is a bad move. Fighting gets you hurt or arrested.
lc69hunter
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I get a chuckle out of individuals on an erotic story website citing "morality". But, whatever floats your boat. Everyone who is on here has some kink or other. Those in glass houses probably should not throw stones.
Missk_2022
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I think when these occasions arise a lot of times it's from immaturity on both sides. Lack of communication lack of honesty lack of trust lack of a lot of things. I was in an ldr and it was too hard for him. He wanted somebody closer and even though I was willing to go there periodically, it wasn't enough. I think we could have worked it out but we had a long conversation and I broke my own heart. In this situation there are three people at fault. The least person at fault is the one that was cheated on, because if they don't know they're doing something wrong then you can't hold them responsible. If the cheater goes outside the marriage instead of talking to the person they are supposed to love the most then I don't know what to tell you. But being mad at someone else because your spouse is cheating is just silly. And if all else fails rejection is protection goodbye
the reason the website even exists is because of morality. The appeal comes from the fact that it is taboo. Obviously everyone has a kink. If I owned a boat it would float on water not whatever. When I had a glass house we would smoke stones and sell them. You mistakenly believe you are smarter than "moral" people. Its cool; whatever keeps you up at night!!!
I did not confront her lover because he probably would have beaten me up. He was single, so I couldn't tell his wife.
muycurioso
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sometimes you have to fight
muycurioso
Really Experienced
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youd be soo mad youd feel no pain
Adrenaline rush
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