Character Insecurities

[Brutal_One]

Another topic, I know that Literotica is primarily about erotic stories across every conceivable category. It’s possibly accepted that the characters make the story, no erotica without characters right?

But in your writing and the realism of telling their stories, what’s your approach to writing about character insecurities and what dynamics does it create between them? Are they supportive or dismissive? How does that impact the story?

If we are honest we probably all have insecurities, maybe even an insecurity complex (hopefully not) or maybe worse a superiority complex.

Feelings of inferiority are something everyone has, but it’s an urge to improve and get better. There is an argument that goes ‘all problems are interpersonal relationship problems.’ It’s not the point for the OP to get into that in this thread.

The question is how do you think about your characters and their insecurities and is your story trying to help them with that and is there any cathartic writing that is also helping you?

Brutal One

 

[Jada59]

Most of my characters have no insecurities. Perhaps the guy in my Domme story does as I've written him to be afraid. Then again, if you were going to a Domme, you'd probably be afraid.

What I write here is mostly sex. And I want it to be good sex. So my characters are strong.

 

[BarracudaSwordfish]

Autobiographical and cathartic

Most of my main characters have insecurities, neuroses and flaws and I usually try to give them some sort of redemption.

I have been criticised occasionally for making my endings too upbeat, but I'm an optimist by nature so try to resolve any conflicts that arise.

Is it autobiographical and cathartic?

Hell yeah!

My story 'Join the Dots' was written about a bullied girl and her revenge on the perpetrator, but as I wrote it, I realised a lot of the things that were emerging were indeed autobiographical - having bullied and been bullied myself and the insecurities arsing from chronic acne when adolescent.

Other tales such as my 'Goodbye to the Past' series and a few others, including one I am currently writing, have protagonists in conflict with their parents over lack of support, lack of empathy and a desire to control.

Again, it took a while to dawn on me that I was writing from experience and 'getting it out' and in truth, I feel better for it.

I may write a lot in the voice of someone much younger and of a different sex, but I have come to realise there is a lot of 'me' in there.

 

[Rustyoznail]

For me, it depends on the story. "Cathy and Karate" explored her issues as a tall, solid, almost masculine looking woman.

But I'm generally optimistic. She got a good result. Well, many...

 

[lovecraft68]

Depends what you're going for. For a stroke story, none of that is needed-or wanted-to enjoy that type of story.

If your goal is a 'real' story then you want the characters as relatable and human as possible. Perfect characters annoy the average person, whereas a character with the same insecurities, issues and problems they have gives them an empathy for the character and they will be more likely to follow and root for them.

 

[OldHideki]

I think insecurities play a lot into who we become. Even the stubborn and bold people, who go tilting at windmills, are driven by a fear of failure. That said, I think many of the loving wives tales of the BTB variety, use a habit developed from an insecurity, as the basis of discovering that the spouse is cheating.

There is usually trust in a relationship, and the cheater uses knowledge about the spouse’s insecurities to hide their indiscretions. Only when the cheated on is forced to act against their insecurity do they discover what has been hiding under the rock.

 

[Jada59]

I think insecurities play a lot into who we become. Even the stubborn and bold people, who go tilting at windmills, are driven by a fear of failure. That said, I think many of the loving wives tales of the BTB variety, use a habit developed from an insecurity, as the basis of discovering that the spouse is cheating.

There is usually trust in a relationship, and the cheater uses knowledge about the spouse’s insecurities to hide their indiscretions. Only when the cheated on is forced to act against their insecurity do they discover what has been hiding under the rock.

I don't believe everyone has a fear of failure. I don't.

As for cheating, my ex husband cheated on me throughout the relationship. I had no insecurities. I just couldn't get out of the relationship as he controlled the money and I never had enough for a lawyer. He also threatened anyone I might turn to for help. THEY were afraid of him. He made the claim to be mafia. He wasn't.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Most of my main characters have insecurities, neuroses and flaws and I usually try to give them some sort of redemption.

I have been criticised occasionally for making my endings too upbeat, but I'm an optimist by nature so try to resolve any conflicts that arise.

Is it autobiographical and cathartic?

Hell yeah!

My story 'Join the Dots' was written about a bullied girl and her revenge on the perpetrator, but as I wrote it, I realised a lot of the things that were emerging were indeed autobiographical - having bullied and been bullied myself and the insecurities arsing from chronic acne when adolescent.

Other tales such as my 'Goodbye to the Past' series and a few others, including one I am currently writing, have protagonists in conflict with their parents over lack of support, lack of empathy and a desire to control.

Again, it took a while to dawn on me that I was writing from experience and 'getting it out' and in truth, I feel better for it.

I may write a lot in the voice of someone much younger and of a different sex, but I have come to realise there is a lot of 'me' in there.

Yeah, one thing you rarely see in porn is the awkwardness that can result after an abrupt encounter. (And most encounters in porn are abrupt.) Also, I have some characters who are rattled after having sex in a car or some other place that is not a residence. One guy is a bit paranoid about being caught while parked in a train yard or on a New York street, especially during the daytime.

Most of my stuff is not directly autobiographical in the sense that Fear of Flying is mostly that. A lot of it is things that I wish had happened to me but never did.

 

[Omenainen]

I definitely write characters that have insecurities. I’m not into just the acrobatics of sex, two (or more) perfect bodies just going at it is not what I’m interested in. I guess my main themes are acceptance, appreciation, learning to live with your vulnerability.

Currently I’m interested in the point of life (just prior to midlife crises?) where you realize you’ve got everything you ever dreamt of and still you’re not happy, and proceed to fuck up your life or else it gets fucked up for you by some circumstance.

I suppose everything I write will come out as a romance, no matter what category I’m aiming for. So for me it’s about emotion more than action, and for emotions I’m after I need characters that aren’t polished and young and self assured and perfect.

 

[BarracudaSwordfish]

Most of my stuff is not directly autobiographical in the sense that Fear of Flying is mostly that. A lot of it is things that I wish had happened to me but never did.

Indeed - I wasn't trying to imply the nice stuff had happened to me - unfortunately it's the negative stuff.

I just wish reality was able to match my imagination!

 

[RetroFan]

Yes, I often write about insecure characters.

For example in a story I wrote last month 'Grumpy Humphrey's Easy Wife' the central male character Humphrey is a stressed out secondary school teacher married to a much younger wife Lorraine who is an absolute Jezebel. He knows she is playing around given that he finds condoms hidden in her underwear drawer and the hate mail from angry wives that arrives at the house, but does not divorce the cheating floozy as she is hot and he was very late getting married and having no wife at all would be worse.

Given that he cannot father children and often suffers impotence - to the amusement, disdain, ridicule and anger of his wife - it only adds to his insecurities and misanthropy.

 

[Emirus]

Most of my characters have no insecurities. Perhaps the guy in my Domme story does as I've written him to be afraid. Then again, if you were going to a Domme, you'd probably be afraid.

What I write here is mostly sex. And I want it to be good sex. So my characters are strong.

I’ve written several bdsm stories in which the dommes, although definitely controlling, are nice people and play by the accepted rules of a D/s relationship. I have written one story in which the the domme is a truly sadistic bitch but the sub is 100% masochistic without limits who gets pleasure from everything she does to him. You can go anywhere with fiction and I’ve read stories in which the sub is afraid of visiting the domme but she has a hold over him in some way.

Real life is completely different. You will never, whatever their website says, meet a sadistic domme. She will discuss with you beforehand what your limits are, what role plays you like, and what you want to happen during the session because she wants to leave feeling happy and your money was well spent. When someone, in real life, makes their first appointment with a domme there will be some trepidation but as soon as they begin the pre-session discussion this disappears. Take it from one who knows.

 

[Voboy]

One-dimensional characters don't intrigue me at all, so they're not what I write unless I'm mocking them. My characters all have flaws and insecurities. But hey! Different strokes for different folks.

Not every reader likes every story, and not every story is written for every user here. The beautiful thing about Literotica is that there's a little something here for everybody.

 

[Emirus]

I find more joy in developing characters and dealing with their issues than in writing sex scenes.

My priorities are firstly the storyline that comes to mind, then character development, and then the sex at an appropriate time in the story. In my story Dynasty. https://www.literotica.com/s/dynasty-the-true-story-really. the sex is explosive and appears in the first few words whereas in the story I’m writing at the moment for the Summer Lovin’ contest it appears at 14k words and is gentle between two people who don’t realise they are falling in love. I don’t find the sex scenes easy to write, as some others seem to agree, but I assume those who write for the stroke reader find it easier.

 

[Brutal_One]

When someone, in real life, makes their first appointment with a domme there will be some trepidation but as soon as they begin the pre-session discussion this disappears. Take it from one who knows.

It’s interesting as I have just introduced a new female character who is a Domme with an f sub. She is bisexual. In general her relationship with men though has not been great. She thinks men lack imagination. But yes I think there is a respect that would (should) exist between a Dom and a Domme. At least that’s the way I have currently written it. I also make a distinction between a Domme and a Dominatrix, maybe I shouldn’t. It’s a challenge of course for a Male to write a female character well, I have several and Simone is just the latest. At least she can understand the training of a slave I have and becomes an important character in her own right for the future story development. She has ambition and has had a disappointment, a setback but she is a strong character as you might expect so is looking forward to joining the team, our latest recruit. Brutal One

 

[SimonDoom]

My characters have whatever traits, including insecurities, I deem necessary to advance the plot of the story.

If I'm writing an exhibitionist story, for example, my lead character may have an internal conflict between being shy and being secretly exhibitionist. The personality traits create the conflict that drives the plot, and they make the character interesting.

In my BTB story the husband is sniveling and constantly anxious about his wife, and his traits drive the story.

Most of my stories aren't very long, so I don't bother to give the characters traits that aren't essential to the story. I might do that in a longer story.

 

[sirhugs]

I agree that the sort of story makes a difference. Insecurities are harder to write into a bdsm story, for example.

Having said that, most of my stories include characters with insecurities or uncertainty of some sort. I enjoy exploring the inner workings of the mind.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I’ve written several bdsm stories in which the dommes, although definitely controlling, are nice people and play by the accepted rules of a D/s relationship. I have written one story in which the the domme is a truly sadistic bitch but the sub is 100% masochistic without limits who gets pleasure from everything she does to him. You can go anywhere with fiction and I’ve read stories in which the sub is afraid of visiting the domme but she has a hold over him in some way.

Real life is completely different. You will never, whatever their website says, meet a sadistic domme. She will discuss with you beforehand what your limits are, what role plays you like, and what you want to happen during the session because she wants to leave feeling happy and your money was well spent. When someone, in real life, makes their first appointment with a domme there will be some trepidation but as soon as they begin the pre-session discussion this disappears. Take it from one who knows.

This is also a response to Brutal__One's post below.

My own taste in BDSM stories - some of them are still in the works - is that it's usually about an amateur couple. They will play roles for a short time - a few hours at most - and it's episodic, no where near an every day lifestyle. Usually the couple will switch the dominant and submissive roles at times for variety.

Usually there's some comedy in it. The couples use tongue-in-cheek safe words (or phrases really) like "chicken pot pie" and "tuna salad."

It's usually some form of fictional domestic discipline game. I'm experimenting with fairly light bondage for the first time. I think I only have two stories - one on this site - with a true punishment, not a game.

I've never done a hard master/slave or mistress/slave situation. I've never written about a professional domme. Well, I did have one one part-time prostitute who dabbles in it.

Anyway, that's just the way I roll with this theme.

 

[Voboy]

I agree that the sort of story makes a difference. Insecurities are harder to write into a bdsm story, for example.

I've only done one BDSM story, and I'll probably never do another because the genre doesn't interest me. But the story I wrote was about the cognitive dissonance of a cop who finds herself having to slap the cuffs (on the job) on her ex-Dom, and is tormented afterward. The internal conflict intrigued me, not the genre.

The story went nowhere, largely because it avoids the usual tropes of that community of readers. But I'm proud of it.

 

[KeithD]

My characters have whatever traits, including insecurities, I deem necessary to advance the plot of the story.

Same here.

 

[ChuckWolf]

In one of my stories, (link for it below in my sig) a young guy goes to a nudist resort to try and get over his insecurity of being naked and winds up running into his next-door neighbor that he used to fantasize over. The neighbor and her female friends(who are much more comfortable with their nudity than the protagonist) tease and feel up the guy, arousing him, which sets off his insecurity and eventually leads to great humiliation for him.

Most of my future stories will be CFNM and/or femdom and will probably touch on the concept of insecurity.

 

[SolarRay]

I think exploring insecurities is just an optional element that an author may or may not choose, but for me personally they're my bread and butter. I mostly write stories about erotic transformations which lends itself to characters overcoming inhibitions, insecurities, vulnerabilities, or having an erotic awakening that exposes ones they didn't even realize they had. I find there to be a vast opportunity for excitement there. (Granted, there are often also very strong, confident characters that act as guiding lights.) For this reason, I also get into characters' heads a lot. I like to detail some kind of catharsis tied to the erotic evolution of the character, as well as the sex acts themselves, and sometimes that catharsis extends outward to dynamics that lead to the context for the sexual activity in the first place. I've chosen to focus strongly on this aspect as my personal niche, but that's just my own style.

In terms of "helping" the author -- perhaps? To some degree at least, I write from experience in regards to my own erotic transformations and awakenings over the years, so it's largely a reflection of that and the influence of such a process on my erotic tastes, but to some degree I am still exploring so the stories might also be steering me forward in that sense as well.

 

[vanmyers86]

My stories tend to be character-driven, and insecurities create inner (and sometimes external) conflict, so yes, my characters have them. Honestly, I wouldn't know how write a character without insecurities, as that sort of person is alien to me.

 

[Brutal_One]

My stories tend to be character-driven, and insecurities create inner (and sometimes external) conflict, so yes, my characters have them. Honestly, I wouldn't know how write a character without insecurities, as that sort of person is alien to me.

Yes that’s an excellent point. Typically for a good dynamic there are insecurities but how they materialise and are resolved can be a significant part of the story, difficult maybe to do justice in a single story unless lengthy. Brutal One

 

[Bramblethorn]

I agree that the sort of story makes a difference. Insecurities are harder to write into a bdsm story, for example.

Depends what flavour of BDSM you're writing. At the realistic end of the genre there's LOTS of room for insecurity, ranging from "am I bad for wanting this? will people judge me for it?" to "what if I hurt my partner?" through to "just fucked up this very basic rope harness for the THIRD TIME, the professional riggers make it look so easy".