challenge: Snuggle the bear...

[Guest]

I have a poetry challenge!!!! I realize this is silly, but that makes it all the more fun!

Here's the explanation: I keep seeing commercials with that annoying Snuggle-the-fabric-softener bear. The bear is so cute and arrogant that it's just plain irritating!

Here's the challenge: Write a poem about something horrible, devastating, bad, acrid, putrid, brutish or anything else negative, in which you use the Snuggle bear as the embodiment of your negative theme. For example, the snuggle bear can be the embodiment of evil, or of all that is wrong with the world. I would prefer it if you could do something with the bear, but if not, this challenge can be extended to any type of fluffy, overly-cute, annoying sort of a thing.

I can't wait to see the results of your creativity!

--Xtaabay

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I have never seen this Snuggle-the-fabric-softener bear (although it does sound nasty), but I have a deeply rooted belief that The Teletubbies are the source of all Evil (with a capital E). Will that do?

 

[WickedEve]

I have a list of fluffy things I dislike. So, must the title be Snuggle the Bear if we don't use the bear? How about all poems start with Snuggle so they have that connection? An example would be "Snuggle: Tellitubbies In Hell" I don't know... interesting image, though. Perhaps, Sisyphus has his rock and Lauren is in Hell with her tubbies.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Hmm... I don't think this is a title challenge, Eve.

But you should start one. If no one wants to do it, you're it. You started the trend.

 

[WickedEve]

Hmm... I don't think this is a title challenge, Eve.

But you should start one. If no one want's to do it, you're it. You started the trend.

OH! I thought there was going to be 15 Snuggle Bear poems hitting the new poems list next week.

 

[Guest]

title

The title doesn't have to be the same. And yes, teletubbies would DEFINITELY be appropriate! I haven't given a posting date or anything like that, but feel free to assign a date and/or a specific title.

--Xtaabay

 

[Rybka]

I have a poetry challenge!!!! I realize this is silly, but that makes it all the more fun!

Here's the explanation: I keep seeing commercials with that annoying Snuggle-the-fabric-softener bear. The bear is so cute and arrogant that it's just plain irritating!

--Xtaabay

So...? You prefer the porcupine? Why am I not surprised?

 

[Angeline]

TV, tv down the hall, who's the most annoying of them all?

The title doesn't have to be the same. And yes, teletubbies would DEFINITELY be appropriate! I haven't given a posting date or anything like that, but feel free to assign a date and/or a specific title.

Well now this *is* a contest because there is indeed a whole slew of marketing-researcher created creatures that are deeply irritating, but 'Snuggle' is definitely on my top ten "blow that insincere grin to kingdom come" list. I feel some uncharacteristically dark poetry coming on.

The dark side--she is dangerous yet so alluring, hmmm?

<Swishes off with Snuggle in one hand, "Poppin Fresh" Doughboy in the other, and a dagger in my teeth.>

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: challenge: Snuggle the bear...

So...? You prefer the porcupine? Why am I not surprised?

Yes, I do. Just because he's a porcupine doesn't mean he can't be cute in his own right. That stupid bear thinks he's so special, but the porcupine is better because he is more humble. Darned that woman for looking down her nose at the porcupine, like he's some sort of untouchable, just because he doesn't conform to softness. I only hope that someday all the porcupines can be liberated, and the bears will learn the error of their ways!!!! Yes!!! Hear me now!!!! Equality for the porcupines!!!! Quills are beautiful!!!
--Xtaabay

 

[karmadog]

I'll have you know, Ange, that while I may be fluffy, my grin is almost never insincere.

And by the way, am I the only one who thinks that being 'blown to Kingdom Come' is a good thing?

(I can see why the ladies might not like being blown anywhere as they make a sound like plblblbbll when given a blowjob.)

 

[Angeline]

I'll have you know, Ange, that while I may be fluffy, my grin is almost never insincere.

And by the way, am I the only one who thinks that being 'blown to Kingdom Come' is a good thing?

(I can see why the ladies might not like being blown anywhere as they make a sound like plblblbbll when given a blowjob.)

Oh, I know you're sincere, but you don't look very fluffy to me--hairy, yes--fluffy, no. Of course, I haven't seen all of you have I? (And get away from that scanner! Don't you dare! lol)

And trust me, whatever kind of blowing you're considering--not to mention its destination--the kind I meant would not result in a good kind of shattered.

And as for your experiences with onomatopoeia--aren't *you* technically the one making the sound?

 

[karmadog]

And as for your experiences with onomatopoeia--aren't *you* technically the one making the sound?

Only partially. It would be a quadrilabial fricative (or something like that).

And I told you, the scanner isn't big enough!

 

[Rybka]

Re: Re: Re: challenge: Snuggle the bear...

Yes, I do. Just because he's a porcupine doesn't mean he can't be cute in his own right. That stupid bear thinks he's so special, but the porcupine is better because he is more humble. Darned that woman for looking down her nose at the porcupine, like he's some sort of untouchable, just because he doesn't conform to softness. I only hope that someday all the porcupines can be liberated, and the bears will learn the error of their ways!!!! Yes!!! Hear me now!!!! Equality for the porcupines!!!! Quills are beautiful!!!
--Xtaabay

You just don’t like bears and you only like the porcupine because he is the lugubrious figure in the play. Kind of like Eeyore in the Pooh saga dropping used condoms into the broken lavalamp.

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: challenge: Snuggle the bear...

You just don’t like bears and you only like the porcupine because he is the lugubrious figure in the play. Kind of like Eeyore in the Pooh saga dropping used condoms into the broken lavalamp.

Regards,                                 Rybka

I didn't say I didn't like bears. I happen to like bears a lot--just not the darned snuggle bear! As for Eeyore, well, I never liked him much. He's too much of a kill-joy

Used condoms?!!?? Eeyore?!!?? I didn't know he had a... erm... I mean, I never noticed that there was anything there... Wait a minute... how would YOU know about Eeyore's condoms?! Rybka! What have you been doing?!!?
--Xtaabay

 

[karmadog]

Eeyore was only depressed because the tack that holds his dingaling on kept puncturing his condoms. As a result, he has bastards too numerous to count, and his royalty checks from the Pooh series are garnished to the point of invisibility.

 

[Rybka]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: challenge: Snuggle the bear...

Wait a minute... how would YOU know about Eeyore's condoms?! Rybka! What have you been doing?!!?
--Xtaabay

Why do you think the bear was called Pooh?

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[OT]

On the subject of Pooh

Some Pooh poetry trivia ...

I don't remember which book, but in one of the stories, Pooh replies to a question of how he writes poetry with: "If words want to come in, I let them."

 

[Guest]

tack-on dingalings...

Eeyore was only depressed because the tack that holds his dingaling on kept puncturing his condoms. As a result, he has bastards too numerous to count, and his royalty checks from the Pooh series are garnished to the point of invisibility.

that thing was Eeyore's dingaling?!?? Geez.. no wonder he was depressed! It even had a bow on it... ugh... hehe

--Xtaabay

 

[Guest]

a date for posts

Okay... I see no one is posting anything about snuggly things which they dislike. So... I'm going to make a date. Submit your poems by the evening of the 22nd (Tuesday) so they can be posted Wed. or Thursday. You can use any title, as long as you include the word "snuggle" before it, after it, or in it.

Remember, the challenge is to write a poem about something sickeningly cute, cuddly, snuggly, or something similar which causes deep emotions of hate, fear, loathing, disturbance (or any other overwhelmingly negative emotions).

--Xtaabay

 

[Guest]

Re: title

Snuggle, the bear with homicidal intentions.
"I dare ya to squeeze me motherfucker"

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: a date for posts

Okay... I see no one is posting anything about snuggly things which they dislike. So... I'm going to make a date. Submit your poems by the evening of the 22nd (Tuesday) so they can be posted Wed. or Thursday. You can use any title, as long as you include the word "snuggle" before it, after it, or in it.

Remember, the challenge is to write a poem about something sickeningly cute, cuddly, snuggly, or something similar which causes deep emotions of hate, fear, loathing, disturbance (or any other overwhelmingly negative emotions).

--Xtaabay

Well, where exactly is your snugly thing poem? You should set an example!

Anyway, this is just my opinion, but what about a series of poems titled:

Snugly Evil: [insert whatever creature here]

For example:

Snugly Evil: Snuggle-the-fabric-softener Bear
Snugly Evil: The Teletubbies
Snugly Evil: The Pooh
Snugly Evil: "Poppin Fresh" Doughboy
Snugly Evil: The Easter Bunny

The possibilities are endless...

 

[darkmaas]

Snugly: Dark and Evil

I want dibs on Snugly Evil:Barney.

Respectfully in purple,

darkmaas

 

[Cordelia]

Re: Snugly: Dark and Evil

I want dibs on Snugly Evil:Barney.

Respectfully in purple,

darkmaas

darkmaas:

Barney was forbidden in my house when my children were toddlers. But, I must relate this story proving my boys are indeed the sons of a poet.

My son was 20 months old and we were in a supermarket. A clerk working there tried to amuse my son by wiggling a huge stuffed Barney toy at him. My son looked straight into the clerk's eyes and told her, "Barney is insipid."

I feel I have done my part in improving the human race.


Cordelia

Oh...and shouldn't it be spelled "Snuggly"?

 

[Rybka]

Snuggly Evil ?

Guess I can’t play. The only snuggly thing I know (see Avatar) that is unrepentantly “lava lamp evil” is Xtaabay.

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[darkmaas]

All Lauren's fault

Cordelia said:

Oh...and shouldn't it be spelled "Snuggly"?

I took my lead from lauren.

Maybe she's Canadian.

Good for your son. Barney is worse than insipid. But don't get me going. I'm saving Barney for the poem.



Rybka dearest:

Didn't I just see you slagging poor Pooh Bear. Hang your tail in shame. Let's see a poem.