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CCG’s Cave of Confessions

“When I joined Lit, I was newly divorced and lonely, but I didn't want anything to do with "real" relationships. I just wanted to have fun and ease the loneliness.

I eventually got into a pretty intense online relationship. For me, it was fun and enjoyable, but I never regarded it as "real." When it started to be too much, and I realized the other person considered me their significant other, I put the brakes on.

It was horrible. The other person was extremely hurt, and I felt terrible.

It was so bad I stayed away entirely for a long time. I post again, and I have chatted quite a bit, but I am always scared that it will happen again. Plus, I am re-married, so there is always the tug of guilt.

I guess my confession is that I like visiting Lit, but I'm always uncomfortable. I worry about messing up my real-life relationship, and I worry about people here getting too close.“
 
crazychemgirl said:
“When I joined Lit, I was newly divorced and lonely, but I didn't want anything to do with "real" relationships. I just wanted to have fun and ease the loneliness.

I eventually got into a pretty intense online relationship. For me, it was fun and enjoyable, but I never regarded it as "real." When it started to be too much, and I realized the other person considered me their significant other, I put the brakes on.

It was horrible. The other person was extremely hurt, and I felt terrible.

It was so bad I stayed away entirely for a long time. I post again, and I have chatted quite a bit, but I am always scared that it will happen again. Plus, I am re-married, so there is always the tug of guilt.

I guess my confession is that I like visiting Lit, but I'm always uncomfortable. I worry about messing up my real-life relationship, and I worry about people here getting too close.“
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You're not alone in that. Somewhere along the line you ask yourself if an online relationship is valid, or as valid as a flesh and blood one. It is of course. Yes, it's different but if you cut me, do I not bleed?
 
stickygirl said:
You're not alone in that. Somewhere along the line you ask yourself if an online relationship is valid, or as valid as a flesh and blood one. It is of course. Yes, it's different but if you cut me, do I not bleed?
Click to expand...
I agree - I think it happens to a lot of people. I think the confusion happens when one person wants limitations and establishes boundaries for the online relationship, and the other either doesn't understand them or just develops feelings that make them want to push the boundaries.

I have experienced both, at different times. It's hard to keep things in their boxes. It does make things feel like walking a minefield at times. I can relate to the confessor.
 
HollyS said:
I agree - I think it happens to a lot of people. I think the confusion happens when one person wants limitations and establishes boundaries for the online relationship, and the other either doesn't understand them or just develops feelings that make them want to push the boundaries.

I have experienced both, at different times. It's hard to keep things in their boxes. It does make things feel like walking a minefield at times. I can relate to the confessor.
Click to expand...
Maybe we've had to take the flesh and blood rules and somehow adapt them to online situations? I have trouble interpreting real life relationships so you'd think online might be simpler, without the bad breath and acne.

I had one online relationship where the other half wanted to engage in a kind of synchronised masturbation, one typed line at a time. I had mixed feelings that ran from laughter to disgust but that ended in pity. It was educational because we'd acknowledged that in real life we were single, but I was taken aback that he was so desperate to want a synchro-wank. I guess he was just another dude that needed to get his rocks off. Bizarre.
I've read about women wanting to do this too, so it isn't necessarily a gender thing. I'm sure there could be an Olympic event for synchro-wank :cool:
 
“I'm seriously considering physically meeting someone from here. We've mentioned it but haven't made any plans because we've only known each other for a few months. But I'm pretty certain that by the end of 2025 I'll know what it's like to wake up next to him.”
 
crazychemgirl said:
“I'm seriously considering physically meeting someone from here. We've mentioned it but haven't made any plans because we've only known each other for a few months. But I'm pretty certain that by the end of 2025 I'll know what it's like to wake up next to him.”
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I don't regret meeting anyone from here. I only regret those that I didn't.

But I'm a believer in what will be will be.
 
crazychemgirl said:
“I'm seriously considering physically meeting someone from here. We've mentioned it but haven't made any plans because we've only known each other for a few months. But I'm pretty certain that by the end of 2025 I'll know what it's like to wake up next to him.”
Click to expand...
There's nothing wrong with that. Just do a video chat first if you havent and be safe
 
I confess that I watch Perry Mason almost every night....

Oh wait...that's supposed to be private 😳
 
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